By the time Jo had the photograph printed and framed, it was late afternoon. If she headed directly to the cabin, she could make it up there long before sunset. Instead, as she entered the park, she hesitated at the turnoff onto the road that led that way and then continued to the ranger station. Andy was working, but she couldn’t help herself. Even if she got to only say a brief hello, she had to see her, at the very least to show her the photograph.
But it wasn’t simply the picture, Jo realized. Her desire to be with Andy was like an empty, hungry need, as strong and as vital as breathing. She wouldn’t be able to relax until she saw her again, and it would be hard to do it even then. What would she do when Andy was gone for two weeks? She shook her head. Better not to think of it.
It was long past the regular tourist season now, so the parking lot at the station was almost empty—just three cars with out-of-state plates. The old green Bronco was also there in the lot, and Jo’s spirits rose with hope. She parked next to it and got out, grabbing the framed photo.
She was surprised to find a large number of people inside the public room of the station—at least two families. She didn’t immediately see Andy for all the bodies in there and had to peer around the side of one of the men to finally spot her. She was behind the little counter, bent down a little and talking with a family, pointing out something on the map. As always, Jo’s breath seized at the sight of her. Andy’s voice was low and almost soothing, too quiet to make out the words, but it sounded like the sweetest music she’d ever heard. Jo’s palms broke out in sweat, and she made herself look away, staring at the guidebooks on the little rotating stand near her.
Finally, one family left and then the other. A couple of men were still at the counter, so Andy hadn’t seen her yet or was pretending she hadn’t. Jo didn’t want to intrude, but she also wanted to make sure she had a chance to say something to her before someone else came in, so she walked closer to the counter behind the men, as if waiting in line.
The movement must have caught Andy’s eye, as she immediately stopped talking, locking eyes with her. They must have stared at each other for a long time, as, when Jo finally broke contact, the two men in front of her were looking back and forth at them, their heads rotating comically from one person to the other.
Andy shook her head as if to clear it, her eyes refocusing on them. “I’m sorry. What were we talking about?”
The taller one laughed. “Oh, don’t worry about it, honey. We’re not in any hurry.”
“Always nice to find family, even in the sticks,” the shorter man said.
“We’ll go check out the hats,” the taller one added, and he grabbed his partner’s arm, leading him a few feet away.
Jo grimaced. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was going to wait, but—”
Andy gave her that broad, heartbreaking smile, and the words died on her lips.
“I’m glad you came,” Andy said quietly, leaning forward across the counter. “I missed you.”
Heat flashed across the surface of her skin, the blood rising in her face. “Me, too.”
They continued to stare at each other, wordlessly. Jo thought she saw that same raw hunger in Andy’s eyes. Had they been alone, there was no question what would be happening right now.
Finally, Andy gestured at Jo’s hands. “What’s that?”
Almost dizzy, Jo found her thoughts were muddled, and it took her a few extra seconds to remember what she was carrying. “Oh, gosh, that’s why I came. Kevin found it.” She put the framed photograph on the counter, facing Andy.
Andy stared at it for a long time, her eyebrows so high they nearly touched her hairline. “Wow,” she finally said.
“Right?”
“She looks exactly like you and Carter. It’s eerie.”
“Everyone in the family has always wondered. I’m nothing like my parents, and neither is she. We’re the only blondes, for one thing, but there’s more. Everyone else has a similar face, even—nothing like Aurora’s or ours.”
As she said this, something tugged at Jo’s memory—an idea she’d had earlier, when she and Kevin had examined the photograph together. That sense, when she first saw the two women, that something was off, that something that didn’t add up with her own preconceptions.
“Must be the lesbian genes coming out,” Andy said, smiling broadly. She glanced over at the men, both of whom appeared to be browsing the clothing section but were clearly listening to them.
She rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you go wait in my room? I’ll finish in here, and then it’s almost my dinner break. My relief will be here soon.”
Jo blushed again. “I thought you said you couldn’t have guests.”
Andy’s head tilted a little. “I can have guests, just no overnight guests. It’s still daylight, so we won’t be breaking any rules. Well, technically.”
“How long will you be?” Jo managed to ask, beginning to tremble.
Andy checked her watch. “Less than an hour. Depends on when she gets here.”
“Is it okay if I take a shower while I wait?”
“Of course.”
Their voices had grown quieter as they spoke, so Andy’s last words came out barely above a whisper. Jo knew the men were listening to them, but she also felt rather breathless. She thought Andy might feel that way, too.
She took the photograph back to her car and then went around the back of the station to the staff housing and into the shower room. She stood just inside the door, with its bank of lockers, inhaling the fresh, clean, lemony air.
She was shaking all over now, and it took her a long time to take off her clothes, her trembling hands clumsy on the buttons of her shirt. She threw a quick glance in the mirror, saw that eager, barely suppressed excitement in her eyes, and almost laughed at herself. She grabbed Andy’s soap and went into the nearest shower stall. It closed with a vinyl curtain, and she stood there under the water, doing nothing to actually clean herself.
She heard the door to the shower room open and jumped a little. “Is that you?”
The curtain was ripped aside a moment later, and Andy came into the water with her, pulling her into a rough embrace. They began to kiss, Jo so desperate for her lips, for the taste of her, it was as if she couldn’t kiss her quickly enough, hard enough. Andy shoved her into the wall, her sheer physical presence so overwhelming, so hot and needed, Jo let out a long, low moan.
Finally, she managed to pull away, and she pushed Andy’s shoulders a little to get her attention. Andy’s hair was plastered to her head, the water still streaming down on them, and her clothes were soaked through.
It took Jo a great effort to say, “Take me to bed. Now.”
* * *
“Will you get in trouble?” Jo asked several hours later. The two of them were scrunched into the tiny twin bed in Andy’s staff bedroom. Andy was spooning her from behind, playing with a lock of her hair.
After her dinner break, Andy had gone back to work for a few hours, and then she came here again, where Jo had waited. When she’d finally returned back, she’d slammed the door and launched herself at Jo without a word. Afterward, they’d dozed off a little, but now they were both awake again.
“Hmm?” Andy replied, her warm breath tickling Jo’s ear.
Jo squirmed, heat beginning to gather inside her once more. She scooted out of Andy’s arms and turned around, their faces inches apart.
“Won’t you get in trouble? For having an overnight guest?”
Andy sighed. “Probably, but maybe not. Only if someone rats me out.”
“Will they?”
They could see each other, dimly, but the room was almost completely dark now. She felt Andy’s shoulders lift. “Maybe, maybe not. I’ve covered for a few people before, so maybe they’ll let it slide. Karen had her boyfriend over just last week.”
“So I don’t have to leave?”
Andy shook her head. “No. Never. I want you to live here, in fact. I want us both to stay in this bed forever.”
Jo’s stomach dropped. “That’s what I want, too.”
“Good. It’s settled, then. Welcome to your new home.”
Jo laughed and then nestled into Andy, slipping her head under her chin. She inhaled Andy’s clean scent, catching a hint of chamomile and something else, something sweet. She kissed the little notch between Andy’s collarbones and felt her shiver in response.
“Be careful, or you’ll get me going again,” Andy said, her voice dark and low.
“That’s the plan,” Jo said, and kissed her there again.
“Wait,” Andy said, her body suddenly tense. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Jo didn’t reply, surprised, and Andy scooted away, reaching for the lamp. The light made Jo’s eyes dilate with some pain, and she blinked at Andy, squinting. Andy’s hair was mussed, sexy, but her expression was serious, a trace of something worrisome in the downturned corners of her mouth. Andy lay down on her back and motioned for Jo to come closer. She put her head on Andy’s shoulder and waited. Andy’s body was hard and rigid beneath hers.
Jo made herself laugh. “Must be serious.”
Andy sighed. “It is and it isn’t. I just don’t know if I should say it.”
Jo propped herself up on an elbow. “What is it?”
“Look, Jo…the thing is, I like you. I like you a lot, in fact.”
Jo’s stomach lurched. This sounds bad, she thought. She made herself smile. “I like you a lot, too.”
Andy smiled for a moment, but then that troubled, worried strain reappeared, her lips pressed tightly together. Jo squeezed her arm. “What’s bothering you?”
Andy’s eyes darted away from hers, and she appeared almost guilty. “I guess I’m just wondering where this is headed. What we’re doing.”
“We’re having the greatest sex of all time,” Jo replied. She spoke lightly, but anxiety made her heart hammer.
Andy grinned. “It is good, isn’t it?”
“Do you even need to ask? Didn’t you hear me? I think I ripped my vocal cords.” She nudged her. “You weren’t exactly holding back, either.”
Andy’s smile was more genuine now, and her body relaxed a little. “No. I wasn’t.”
She touched her cheek. “So what’s the problem?”
“I’m just wondering if this is something more than that. If…I mean something to you.”
Jo laughed and then shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but that’s silly. Of course it’s more than just sex.” She leaned down to kiss her once, quickly, and then met her eyes again. “You mean a lot to me.”
Andy looked hopeful, and then her gaze darted away again. Jo gently lifted her chin, making her meet her eyes. “Andy, I’m telling you the truth. Can’t you tell I’m falling for you?”
These words had an instantaneous effect. Andy’s eyes filled with tears, and she pulled Jo down into an embrace, kissing the side of her head over and over. Jo laughed and kissed her mouth, giving her a tight squeeze before meeting her eyes again.
“Did I do something, say something to make you feel like I wasn’t?”
Andy shook her head, her eyes still wet and dewy. “No.”
Jo stared at her for a long time. This insecurity surprised her so much she didn’t know how to respond. She’d seen a little bit of it in Andy before, and it had surprised her then, too. Andy was gorgeous, by anyone’s standards, as well as smart, kind, and caring. She had a cool job and was clearly dependable, trustworthy. Any woman would be lucky to have her. Even now, Jo could hardly believe they were in bed together.
Something occurred to her then, and for a moment it was as if someone had knocked the wind out of her lungs. Of course, Jo thought. That explained things. It even explained something she’d sensed yesterday, when they were reading the letters together—that horrible tension she’d felt when Andy heard about what Henry had done to Aurora and Sarah.
“Did someone hurt you?” she whispered, trailing her fingers along the side of Andy’s face.
Andy tensed again but nodded. The tears that had been threatening to fall began to slip down her cheeks.
“A girlfriend?” Jo asked.
Again, Andy nodded, almost rigid now beneath Jo.
Jo leaned forward, close enough that she could feel Andy’s breath. She had to get this right, had to make her believe. She stared into her eyes until she saw Andy focus on her and her alone.
“I will never do that to you, Andy. I will never hurt you.”
Andy sobbed, once, choking it off a second later. “How do you know?”
Jo had a little flash of guilt at the memory of her ex, Elsa. She’d certainly hurt her, that was true. But this was different, this feeling she had for Andy. It made her want to be a better person, the kind of person who would sacrifice anything for Andy’s sake. She knew she could spend the rest of her life proving that to her, if that’s what it took, and never lose patience with her in the process.
“I just know,” she said.
Andy sobbed again, and Jo lay down into her arms. Andy’s grip was hard, almost painful, but Jo didn’t complain, letting her cry herself out. She made little soothing sounds and rubbed her hands up and down Andy’s back, reminded, suddenly, that Andy had done the same thing for her before. The idea was comforting, somehow, as if they were in this together, supporting each other already. The idea that someone had hurt this woman enough to make her feel this way was awful, gut-wrenching, even, but she knew she could help Andy regain her confidence with enough time together.
“I’m sorry,” Andy finally said, pulling away to wipe her face. “I’m kind of a hot mess.”
Jo winked at her. “But you’re my hot mess.”
Andy smiled, her eyes growing distant and uncertain again. Jo touched her shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Andy shook her head. “No. Not right now. Some other time, maybe. But maybe not. Is that okay?”
“Whatever you want, Andy. You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable talking about.”
Andy’s eyes searched her face, and she nodded. “Thanks. It’s just…I’ve spent too much time thinking about her already. I’ve let her ruin…things before.” Her face constricted with pain. “It’s not something I’m proud of.”
Jo sat forward and kissed her. “Well, I’m proud of you.”
“You are?”
“Yes. I can’t wait to show you off to the rest of my family.”
Andy almost flinched. “All of them?”
Jo laughed. “Yes—all of them. Even the Republicans.”
“Wow. You are brave.”
Jo grinned at her. “No, seriously, I want you to meet them. We’re having our annual family reunion in a couple of weeks—we could get it all done at once. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.”
Andy’s face crinkled with pleasure and then fell. “Oh, shit. I can’t. I’ll still be on fire duty.”
Damn, Jo thought. She’d forgotten about that.
Andy looked worried again. “I can see if I can switch with someone, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it so late.”
Jo squeezed her hand. “It’s fine, Andy. Don’t worry about it. We have our reunion, but almost all of us get together during the holidays, too. Maybe you could come to Thanksgiving. You’ve never seen so many German-Americans outside of an Octoberfest.”
Andy smiled, but weakly, and Jo saw that worried uncertainty start to creep into her eyes again. Jo had to do something to get rid of that, once and for all. She put her hand on Andy’s naked thigh. Andy’s eyes widened, and a little color rose to her cheeks.
“Lights on or off?” Jo asked, keeping her voice low and commanding.
Andy licked her lips. “On.”