A fucking disclaimer

This is a book about not giving a fuck. In order to practically quantify my methods, I’ve confessed to banishing many objects, concepts, events, activities, and people from my life. You may not agree with all of my choices. Fair. You may even think you recognize yourself in these pages—particularly if you are a parent of small children, a karaoke enthusiast, a friend, family member, or former colleague of mine. If so, you’re either correct, or delusional. In any case, if you’re offended by anything I’ve written, then you really need this book. Proceed immediately to here: “You Need to Stop Giving a Fuck About What Other People Think.”

Also note: There’s no fucking way this parody was prepared, approved, endorsed, or authorized by Marie Kondo or her publishers.