The following Thursday evening, Eliza stood in the newly organized spare bedroom and basked in the thrill being organized gave her. The shelving was complete in this room and now layered with carefully labeled clear plastic bins.
She took a photo on her phone and sent it to Carter along with yet another thank-you and kissy face emoji. The second room was a work in progress, but since they'd used up all of the free shelving in this room, Carter had come up with an inexpensive plan for the second storage room she couldn't wait to get into place.
She'd seen him on Tuesday evening, when he'd asked her to join him for a walk on the beach. They'd met near sunset and strolled holding hands along the edge of the surf.
He'd been surprisingly quiet, and she'd deduced it to be from a difficult day at work. He was a busy man, after all, and raising his daughter alone, and she knew how exhausted she usually was on a normal day without the added stresses Carter carried as a single dad.
Still, ever since the day they'd gone to Masonboro Island, she'd felt a tension in Carter. But then, she also felt that way with Marsali, which was totally weird, so maybe she was just being too sensitive? Truthfully, she was on edge, because with Carter's absence, she'd discovered something about herself.
She wanted more.
They shared chemistry, yes, but this feeling—this emptiness—was more than that. She found herself craving his presence in her home, at her side. In her life. And that wasn't something she'd experienced with James. Oh, she'd looked forward to seeing him, but… she didn't miss James the way she missed Carter.
But then, Carter's silence weighed on her. As did the fact he wasn't pushing for more, so maybe his interest had run its course?
Was that it? Was that why he'd been so distant this week?
Was she feeling one way while he felt… another?
Her doorbell rang and she inhaled, determined to have that talk Marsali's book said they needed to have about goals and plans and expectations.
She flipped the light off as she left the room and hurried down the hallway, bracing herself for the impact Carter always had on her.
She unlocked the door and swung it wide, only to gasp.
"James? What are you doing here?" One look at his bloodshot eyes and ruddy face told her he'd been drinking. A lot. "Did you drive here?"
"Walked from the bar," he said, lifting his hands toward her. "Eliza, I never should've done it. I shouldn't have—"
"Stop," she said, shaking her head and bracing her body behind the door in case he tried to bully his way in. "You need to get an Uber and go home."
"No. Eliza, hear me out. I'm sorry."
"Okay, you're sorry. Good night, James."
"Wait—"
His hand shot out when she tried to close the door and stopped it. "Let go."
"Just talk to me. Don't you owe me that much?"
Owe him? Seriously? "We have nothing to left to say to one another."
"You're wrong. I have plenty to say. I was stupid, okay? I believed her when she said she loved me. I believed her when she said you just used me and—"
"Wait. I used you?" Eliza asked, engaging in the conversation before she could stop herself.
"I know. That's what I'm saying. I was stupid. I realize that now."
"Good for you," Eliza said. "I'm glad you realized that."
"Baby, don't be that way. I made a mistake. I did and I admit it. Please, let me come back. Eliza, take me back."
A laugh escaped her before she could squelch it, and she shook her head, noting with no small amount of alarm and relief that Carter approached her driveway in his Jeep. "You need to leave. Now."
James groaned and began to cry. He really was a sloppy drunk.
"I have nothing to go home to. They're suing me, all because of her. She took the money but it doesn't matter because I'm—"
A moron?
"—on the contracts. She screwed me over and disappeared with some— She's gone."
"Yeah, well, welcome to the screwed-over club. How's it feel?" Eliza said as Carter parked and got out of the truck with a thunderous expression.
"What's happening here?" Carter said, approaching them and positioning himself so that he stood between her and James.
"James was just leaving."
James shook his head, muttering under his breath about how he'd been done wrong. By Clarissa. And now by Eliza because she wouldn't listen.
"I'll call you a cab," Carter offered.
James cursed Carter and turned away but then staggered as he spun toward Eliza once more. "Really, Lizzie? Him? You make me sick."
"Watch it," Carter warned.
"Weren't you the one who always said you'd never date someone who racked up divorces like your parents?"
Divorces? What? Her gaze shifted to Carter and she waited for him to speak. To defend himself. Correct James. But he didn't. "James, you know nothing about Carter's life," she said. "If you're angry with me, be angry with me, but leave Carter and his family out of it."
James muttered more curses and stumbled his way toward the road. "Just like your family," he said, laughing and wagging a finger at her. "You'll be sorry you turned me down. You'll see."
Carter stared at Eliza's pale face and frozen expression and kicked himself for not taking Marsali's advice and coming clean about his past sooner. He'd told Marsali he wanted to, planned to, but needed to find the right time. And that night on the beach during their walk… he'd tried so hard to work up the courage, but every time he'd opened his mouth, he just couldn't do it. Now time had run out and Eliza had found out in the worst way possible.
"Come in, please," she said softly, avoiding his gaze. "I'd rather not risk my neighbors hearing any more of my personal life than they already have."
She left the door open, not waiting to see if he followed her or not.
Carter moved into the interior and shut the door behind him, locking it for safe measure in case James made a reappearance. Considering the man headed toward the main road toward some restaurants, Carter was pretty sure someone would spot his staggering walk and report him. Maybe a night in the drunk tank would do some good. Then again…
Carter turned and followed Eliza into her living room. He stared at her back, willing her to turn. Finally she did.
"What did James mean? Carter, is there something you haven't told me? Have you been married more than once?"
"Yeah." He grimaced and held up two fingers, wishing the sign meant peace instead of failure. He watched as Eliza struggled to contain her upset.
"So after hearing about my family and listening to me and Marsali in the pool talking about honesty in a relationship, you thought the best thing to do is lie to me?"
"I was going to tell you."
"When?" she countered.
"I don't know. Soon. I tried to at the beach but… Eliza, I wanted you to have time to really get to know me first."
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, and Carter decided to own up to his reasons. "You're right. I heard you in the pool. I heard all of the rules and advice. I even read Marsali's book."
"And you still didn't tell me."
He nodded, staring into her eyes and hoping they could see into his soul. "Because I didn't want to lose you. Eliza, I listened to you describe your family and… I panicked. Okay? I've got two strikes against me, and I knew if you found out too soon, you'd never agree to see me again, even though the first time I saw you, I knew…"
"You knew… what?"
"That you were different. That you were the woman I've been searching for all of this time. I just… knew."
A huff left her, a mixture of surprise and disbelief and pain. She turned away from him, giving him her back once more.
"I talked to Lincoln," he said, knowing now that everything had to come out. "He said if I wanted a woman of quality—which you are—I had to bring quality to the table so you'd see me, not my past."
She didn't comment.
He stared at her back, every muscle and bone rigid. "I planned to tell you, Eliza. I just wasn't sure of when."
More silence. He raked his hands through his hair and pulled, hard. "You want the dirty details? Let's do this. My first marriage was when I was eighteen, dumb, and drunk. It was spring break, and I woke up married to a stranger. Thirty days later, it was dissolved by her lawyer daddy and a judge friend. It never should've happened and I'm embarrassed that it did, but I can't change it. As to Piper's mom… you know that one. She left, I didn't."
Eliza turned, arms hugging her front. Her expression killing him because of the pain he'd put there. "Eliza, say something."
"I'm… I don't know what to say. If you'd just been honest with me from the beginning…"
"Yeah? And then what? Now's when you have to be honest and own up to the fact if I'd done that, you would've shut me down and judged me, even more than you already did when you first saw me. My past is rough and I did far more stupid things than smart in those early years. But it's the past, not my present."
"I just need to think, Carter."
Carter sucked in a breath at her expression. As badly as he wanted her, and he did, he could see the truth she couldn't hide. The judgment.
He took a step back. Then another. "What's to think about? You've already made up your mind, haven't you?"
"Carter…"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you and you found out this way. That's on me and I own it. But right now? Your expression tells me I was kidding myself thinking time with you would help you see the real me."
"Carter…."
"You heard two divorces and automatically judged me unworthy." He watched her struggle to put her thoughts into words and realized nothing she said at this point could change how he felt, that he'd screwed up yet again. "You don't need to say anything, Eliza. It's written on your face."