The sun had dropped behind the horizon and the pale blue sky had faded into gray. Soon the mist would rise across the Romney Marsh, obscuring the trees. It was that time of early evening, which most called twilight, when the Marsh took on an eerie feeling. Sebastian called it dusk, and it was the most magical moment of all, he so often said.
Soon, when the sky finally darkened, the lights on the French coast would be seen twinkling far off, almost matching the bright stars littering the sky.
Alexis turned to Sebastian, sitting next to her on the bench on the rise at Goldenhurst Farm, and took hold of his hand. For a moment he did not respond and then she felt his squeeze. He put his other hand over hers, clasped her fingers tightly.
Softly, she said, “I’m sorry, darling.”
“For what?”
“Hurting your feelings … I think.”
He put his arm around her, brought her closer, and said against her hair, “You didn’t hurt my feelings or make me angry, or even give me a sense of disappointment. I just felt sad, sorry for myself, perhaps, but just for a short moment.”
“I do want to get engaged to you. I do want to marry you. You know that’s the truth. I just think if we did all that now, as you said you wanted to earlier today, we would overshadow Claudia’s marriage to Cornelius. You are a very famous man, a banker of great repute. I’m not entirely unknown, since I’m the woman who prefers to work rather than marry a man. So we would get written about, don’t you think? The newspapers would have a field day.”
His laughter echoed on the cool April air. He bent his head and kissed her cheek. “If only they knew how you loved this man, oh my goodness, wouldn’t they all blush?”
Alexis laughed with him and said, “Please tell me you understand.”
“I suppose I do. Actually, I’m inclined to agree, if the truth be known. We mustn’t steal their thunder.”
“Since we’re having a secret love affair, perhaps we could have a secret engagement.”
“What a grand idea! And we might even have a secret marriage … that’s what Edward the Fourth did. He married Elizabeth Woodville in secret because she wouldn’t sleep with him until she had a wedding ring on her finger. On the other hand, you’ve already slept with me.”
“Many times, and it’s always wonderful.”
“I can only second that a thousand times, my love. Let’s go inside. It’s growing cold, and anyway, I have something I wish to give you.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see. Come on.” Rising, he pulled her to her feet and they hurried down to the terrace and through the French doors into the great room. He led her across the floor, adding, “It’s in the library.”
Once they were inside her favorite room, the one he had built himself, covering the walls with pine, she understood that something special had already been planned. The fire was blazing in the hearth and there was a bottle of champagne in a silver bucket on a side table.
Clutching his arm, Alexis raised an auburn brow and asked, “Are we about to celebrate something?”
That small amused smile slid across his mouth and was instantly gone. “I’m always celebrating when I’m with you. As I’ve told you before, I can’t get over my luck that you wandered into my lonely life when you did.”
“Thanks to Claudia,” she replied and stood on tiptoe, kissed him on the mouth. He grabbed on to her immediately and kissed her properly, then let her go. He strode over to his desk. “Go and sit near the fire. I’ll pop the cork and we’ll toast each other.”
She nodded and did as he said. He swiftly opened the desk drawer, took something out, and put it in his jacket pocket.
After opening the bottle and filling the two flutes with champagne, Sebastian walked over to the fireside and said, “Give me your hand and close your eyes.”
She followed his instructions. She felt him slip a ring onto her finger and opened her eyes at once. “Oh, Sebastian, it’s beautiful!” she exclaimed, staring down at the large square-cut emerald ring on her engagement finger.
His cool gray eyes were riveted on hers. “Do you like it?”
“I love it and I love you. And thank you for it and for surprising me.”
He merely nodded. “It’s the exact color of your eyes. I made sure about that, you know. Not all emeralds are exactly the same color. They differ a lot, and that one is flawless, by the way.”
Alexis held out her left hand and stared at the ring. She then stood up, put her arms around him, and pressed herself close. “You’ve been leading me on all day, you wretch, now haven’t you? Knowing full well you were going to give me this ring at this very moment.”
“Of course. Let’s toast each other, my darling girl, and you are mine now. Well, almost. Only when we’re married will I actually feel you will never leave me, that you are truly mine.”
“You know very well I am truly yours now.” When she took the flute from him, she lifted it and touched his glass. “To my first love, my only love.”
“To my greatest love,” he answered, clinking his flute to hers, happiness flooding his face.
“Let’s sit down and enjoy this moment,” Sebastian suggested. “I told Mrs. Bellamy to make spring lamb, since it’s spring. We’ll celebrate this very special moment with a lovely supper. I do love you so very much, Alexis.”
“As I do you.”
There was a long moment of silence between them as they gazed at each other, their eyes saying so much. It was Alexis who finally blinked, looked into the flames roaring up the chimney, her throat tight with a rush of emotion.
Sebastian took a sip of champagne and said, “I want to ask you something, although I’m not sure I should … Well, you don’t have to answer, not if you don’t want to…”
She frowned and shook her head. “If you think I won’t want to answer you, why are you asking me?”
“You’re such a clever girl, aren’t you? I suppose because I can’t help myself. That’s my only explanation.”
“So ask me.”
“Do you think Claudia and Cornelius are sleeping together?”
“I’m not sure,” she said immediately, speaking the truth. “Nothing has ever been said, but if you want my opinion, I believe they are.”
“Why do you believe that?”
“Because most people who are in love, as they are, do have intercourse, despite what you might think about the morals of our times. After all, contraception makes it perfectly safe. Ever since the discovery of rubber and somebody thought up condoms, it’s all worked extremely well.”
He burst out laughing and shook his head. “Is there anything you don’t know?”
“Yes, a lot. I’ve often wondered why condoms are called French letters.”
“I can’t answer that. I’ve absolutely no idea.”
After a moment, Alexis leaned over to him and asked, sotto voce, “Does it upset you that they’re probably in bed together when they’re here?”
“I suppose not. After all, they’re getting married in June, and I’m sure he’s wise enough to take precautions.”
“Well, Goldenhurst is the only place they can share a bed. They can’t very well do that when they’re in London. Unless they go to a hotel, and Claudia would never do that.”
“You’re correct, she wouldn’t…” He did not finish his sentence, and simply leaned back in the chair, gazed into the fire, his face reflective.
After a few minutes, Alexis ventured, “I know how you feel, at least I think I do. She’s your daughter, just a young girl really, only twenty-one, and fathers can feel strange about a daughter’s sex life … I’m sure mine does.”
Sitting up alertly, Sebastian asked, “Does he know about us? About me?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, to be honest. I haven’t told him, but he might have guessed, although he does believe Claudia is my best friend, which she is. And he’s met her, of course. That was her idea, by the way. She’s rather clever. Anyway, it will please him when he does know about you. He’s a great admirer of yours.”
He merely smiled, and after a long swallow of the champagne, he said, “There’s something I want to tell you, and now that we have sealed our troth, as they used to say, I can. I want you to have my child. My children, perhaps I should say. You will, won’t you?”
“I want your child more than anything, Sebastian. I want part of you growing inside me. I’m not that dedicated to work that I can’t be a mother … the mother of your child, your children. As many as you want.”
Amused, he chuckled. “One will be enough, or maybe two. Let’s see. Oh, I now have a great idea, shall we start trying now? Get ahead of the game, so to speak?”
She began to laugh, knowing he was teasing her. Or perhaps he wasn’t. He looked suddenly rather eager, ready to spring out of the chair and go upstairs.
“Contraception, until we’re married,” she answered firmly.
“When will we get married, Alexis? Give me a date, please.”
“Let’s have a September wedding, Sebastian. And a honeymoon in Paris, as you suggested last week.”
“Thank you, darling. Your words make me very happy indeed.”
* * *
Sebastian was an early riser, and even on Sunday he was downstairs at the crack of dawn, shaved, dressed, and sitting at his desk in his library.
After writing three letters and addressing the envelopes, he took out his leather-bound diary where he made private notations about matters important to him.
Quickly turning the pages, he came to the date of this day. Sunday, April 15, 1888. A small smile played around his mouth as he wrote in his distinctive handwriting:
Yesterday I became engaged to be married with Miss Alexis Malvern, who lovingly agreed to become my wife. We shall marry this coming September. I gave her an emerald engagement ring which she promised never to take off and she agreed to bear my children. This is one of the happiest days of my life, knowing I have a future to look forward to with my greatest love.
Returning the diary to the drawer, he then sorted through the pile of papers he had brought home from the bank. He was sifting through them when a shadow fell across the doorway. He glanced up to see Alexis standing there.
“Why are you up so early?” he asked, pushing back the chair, going over to her.
“I missed you.”
He smiled. “I see you’re ready for our morning walk. Let’s go.”
He went out into the corridor with her, took a warm jacket out of the cupboard and slipped it on. After kissing her on the cheek, he took hold of her hand and led her outside.
Sebastian’s love of the Kentish countryside, especially his own land, drew him outdoors incessantly. He loved to walk along admiring the huge, luxuriant trees, the flowering bushes, the gardens which Magdalena had designed with such creativity. The views always gave him a thrill. When he was up on high ground he could admire the landscape spread out before him, a panorama of beauty that could only be found in England.
The Marsh had always intrigued him since the first time he had seen it. It was so full of mystery and old wives’ tales about smugglers and booty and the haunted parts where spirits came out after dark. The rising mists early of an evening and the shining sea which looked high in the sky from lower ground only added to the pleasure he derived. What pleased him so much these days was that Alexis loved the farm as much as he did and appreciated nature and all the wildlife.
At one moment they stopped, and he turned her around to face him. He said, “I treasure this land of mine … my land, our land, yours and mine from now on. It will be the land where our children will grow up, and, one day, it will be theirs when we leave this earthly paradise.”
Staring at him, looking into those cool, translucent gray eyes, she choked up, filled with love for him. Longing for the future he spoke about, her emotions flared, rendered her speechless. She could merely nod and hold him tightly in her arms.