Privilege Makes
the World Go Round
Lauren Eckstrom
My entire life, and yours, cultural and social structures have vigorously ranked beauty. Depending on where you land on this scale, influence and clout may be gained or loss of opportunity may occur. I grew up keenly aware that my appearance would be an advantage, but I was also raised to understand that it could be misused, misinterpreted, and abused. Often, I have felt valued for my appearance over other strong and important qualities such as intelligence, capability, kindness, or work ethic, but I have also recognized the privileges my thin frame and pretty face provided me. I am thin. I have always been thin. I have not always appreciated my body but I have always acknowledged the advantages I’ve experienced because of it. These same cultural norms exist in the yoga community and beauty or thin privilege play many of the same roles. But yoga brought me to myself and for that I am deeply grateful. Together we have the opportunity to create conscious change in these structures and systems but it will take time, honesty, hard conversations, and a willingness to own our part in how these systems continue to proliferate.
Entering college, I was lost, disconnected, and unhappy. My internal life and my external appearance left me feeling as though I lived in two worlds simultaneously. I longed to feel whole and complete. On the outside, my life was wonderful, but on the inside, I was unsure of who I was or what I wanted out of life, and this tortured me. I was desperate for a connection to myself beyond outer appearance. I yearned for an experience of spirituality and wanted to belong to a community where I could explore these questions safely and openly. During my first few months of college, I learned about the donation-based studio founded by Bryan Kest, Santa Monica Power Yoga. Terrified, I ventured to my first class alone.
Yoga has not been an easy journey. I was never an athlete and, from the beginning, yoga confronted me with a lifetime of programming. Yet I was aware that I needed a physical experience to teach me how to inhabit the body I felt so separated from. Yoga asana forced me to sit with long-held beliefs that I was not strong, flexible, graceful, or physically capable. The practice took everything I believed about my body and turned it upside down. For years it was a love-hate relationship but I always found myself coming back to my mat for connection and solace. It took me five years, a teacher telling me, “You want all the benefits from the practice but you don’t want to do the work to get there,” and a long break from it before I finally realized I wanted to deepen my practice and study yoga.
Wah-Wah In My Short Shorts
After a few years of teaching yoga, I felt inspired to share how yoga impacted my life off the mat, helping me create positive and uplifting change in my life and in the lives of others. When I wrote my first article, I submitted to an online community that espoused mindfulness and, of course, yoga. When the article was accepted, I was overjoyed. The chance to connect with students and teachers across the world by sharing stories and to expand community tapped into the reason I first began practicing.
When I submitted my article, I submitted a professional, above the neck, headshot. When the article was published and sent across every social media platform with tens of thousands of followers, I discovered they had replaced my professional headshot with a photo of me in a yoga pose, one I had not offered to them. Their editors had done an online search and replaced my modest headshot with a screenshot from a yoga DVD I had filmed years previous where I was in full extension, wearing only yoga shorts and a bra top. I let my initial surprise wear off because, let’s be honest, there are much worse photos of me and I didn’t look half bad. I sat down and began to read the comments on the article.
Almost immediately, critical comments started streaming in about my weight, body type, and visible ribs. What I thought was a “mindful” community was filled with harsh comments like “give that girl a sandwich.” The entire point of the article was lost and most comments focused on the image appearing at the top. I thought it was my fault—the picture existed somewhere in the online ethers and I knew once I had submitted my article, it was theirs to edit as they wished for the pursuit of mouse clicks. I let the comments and my disappointment go and chose to take the higher path, never engaging with the commentors or responding to the negativity. There were some thoughtful readers who were doing the defending for me, and I was grateful I could gracefully let it go.
The truth is, “give that girl a sandwich” is not hurtful. Making fun of me because I’m thin does not upset me. I know people who have been made fun of or silently judged their entire lives because of body type or physical appearance. To be picked on because I appear “too skinny” in a photo to someone hurts me zero. In fact, due to the grotesque socialization women experience in our culture, I might have even seen it as a good thing in the past. What hurt more than any nasty comment about my weight was being reduced to my appearance, yet again. When we, women, are picked apart body part by body part, no one wins. When we are reduced to our physical appearance for clickbait, we all lose. And that made me mad.
Learning My Value Extends Deeper than My Body
The site re-posted the article many times over the course of a few months and each time an abundance of comments continued to focus on the image rather than any content actually in the piece. As a result, I finally decided to write a response focusing strictly on that image. I was scared to engage. I was scared to defend what I felt did not require defending, but I felt certain insights were necessary to share in order to address the overt focus on my image rather than my written words. I also wasn’t sure if the outlet would accept the response, let alone publish it. Enthusiastically, they agreed and I sat down to write a thoughtful response.
When the article was released, the editors once again inserted changes that gave the piece shock value or increased exposure, shares, follows, and likes, which drives so much of today’s media. They altered the title and inserted “exposed ribs” into it. Once again, my body was sensationalized for consumption, but at least somewhat on my own terms.
The image was taken at a time when my physical practice had reached an all-time high. I was stronger than ever, had discovered my true power, and was finally living my dharma. Through trial and error, I had learned to listen to my body, to feed it well and without shame or regret. I had a practice I was proud of but was also balanced. The image is a posture of balance but is reflective of an inner balance in which I had stepped beyond labels of “good” and “bad,” where, finally, my practice and I were enough.
The most challenging responses to the image always came from women. Women attacking women. Why? How does this help us? Asking critical questions about health and wellness is understandable and important, but vicious attacks and name calling never leads to transformation or paradigm shifts. Men photographed in the same posture are never picked apart for their ribs showing while in full bodily extension.
This whole experience reminded me of a story that was once told to me.
There was once a woman walking on a college campus when she noticed a group of photographers standing nearby on a hill. Curious, she walked over to investigate and noticed two chimpanzees. She learned that one chimpanzee was male and one was female. Neither one had ever seen a chimp of the opposite sex and the scientists were running an experiment to see if they would mate. The male chimp was pulling, tugging, and aggressively lunging after the female. The female finally broke away and found the woman standing in the crowd. The chimp grabbed her by the hand and then led her to the only other female in the crowd and grabbed her by the hand as well. Together, the two women and the female chimp stood hand-in-hand, in solidarity. In the story, the female chimp knew to search out the other women for support.
My question is, can we do the same? Can we hold each other by the hand, stand in solidarity and refuse to be picked apart piece by piece, refuse to play into systems that break us down into body parts?
And Now the Work Begins
I was able to share my story and connect with others who had faced similar critiques. The article was shared more than 12,000 times. People of all body types responded positively and shared their stories with me. I felt re-inspired and re-connected.
Since the publication of both articles, I have gone on to join the Yoga and Body Image Coalition to help deepen my awareness of yoga and body image. I have become more aware of the issues regarding cultural appropriation in the yoga community, race, and diversity, and I have joined the conversation around privilege, including the ownership of my own. I have partnered with licensed therapists to co-lead body image workshops for women recovering from eating disorders, participated in panels on body image and have re-framed portions of our 200-hour Holistic Yoga Flow teacher training to include awareness of body image and trauma.
I have learned a tremendous amount since my first article was published, but, as a lifelong student, I take ownership of how much more I have to learn. I make mistakes on this path. I have fallen into the expectations that society surrounds my image with. At times, those lessons have been painful and irreversible. But I am learning, I am trying and I am willing to ask the scary, uncomfortable questions that put my race, body type, and privilege on the table as components to consider and take ownership of to help expand my perspective on the students in my room and in the world.
I know I fit the white, thin, female yoga practitioner portrayed in the media, but as a woman, teacher, student, wife, daughter, friend, and stepmother, I advocate for diversity across the board for the health of our world and our youth. And, as someone who fits the current media model, I hope my willingness to learn contributes to greater awareness, helps motivate a dialogue around body image, promotes inclusivity, and encourages change.
I am grateful for my body. I feel strong, capable, and grounded inside of it. Over time, I have learned to wear less makeup and to love what I see reflected back. I released restrictions, removed labels, and granted myself far-reaching permission to listen to my body’s needs beyond what society taught me I “should” do as a woman. While all of this is true, it is an ongoing journey, one I work with daily to live holistically, happily, and freely as a woman in the world of yoga.
There are so many wonderful, positive ways to have hard conversations with the hopes of productive actions coming forward and with the hopes of including people rather than excluding or alienating them. Negative social media comments and judgments so often halt the possibilities and are not in alignment with embodied living of yoga philosophy. So, maybe, the invitation can be that those who are passionate about sparking dialogue in these areas work toward owning comparisons and assumptions so that the yoga community doesn’t continue to promote the “not good enough” conversation. Unfortunately, comparisons and assumptions only emphasize this “not good enough” program, which I think everyone would like to see transformed into something uplifting. Comparisons and assumptions work against the mission and philosophy of yoga, so let’s remember that we are in this practice together, as a community, where our intention is growth, upliftment, and inclusion for all. Let all of our practice rooms be a place where everyone is welcome. Let us have the courage to ask the difficult questions and to know we are safe, supported, and heard.
Lauren Eckstrom is a 500-hour E-RYT Yoga Alliance certified instructor and meditation teacher. She leads workshops, retreats, and teacher trainings both locally and internationally. In 2012, Lauren associate produced and was heavily featured in the DVD series The Ultimate Yogi, and in 2015, coauthored and published Holistic Yoga Flow: The Path of Practice. Website: www.laureneckstromyoga.com. Author photo by Mitch & Brittany Rouse.