Alex
He’d spent most of the week thinking it was all some sort of elaborate joke that he wasn’t quite getting. He fully expected she’d cancel or, worse, he’d be stood up, left standing hopefully underneath the clock by Clapham Common Tube station like so many other losers before him. He’d gone to text her on Monday night (after deciding to plump for a McDonalds over the promised filthy kebab) before realising that he had never actually got her mobile number in return for his. And – let's be honest - a Facebook message just to tell someone about a burger seemed creepy…
Alex arrived at the station at an embarrassingly early seventeen minutes to seven. In an attempt to kill time he queued up at an ATM for cash he didn’t need before slipping into Starbucks for a drink he didn’t want – different barista, equally surly – and picked Nadia up a Lime Refresher whilst he was at it (despite the fact that this would just make him feel even more stupid if she didn’t turn up). When he saw her appear from the Underground, blinking as her eyes acclimatised to the bright sunshine, the relief was a tangible rush. She clocked him almost immediately and her face broke out into a genuine smile as she made her way over to him.
“Are you, by any chance, in need of refreshment?” Alex asked, holding the transparent plastic cup out to Nadia as she reached him. She gave a startled laugh.
“Oh, my God! Thank you,” she said as she took it. “None for you?” she asked teasingly as she noticed the hot drink takeaway cup in Alex’s other hand.
“I think I’ll stick to the natural energy boost that is a double shot of espresso,” he told her with a wry smile, tilting his coffee towards her in a salute.
“Fair enough! So, are you hungry?"
“I’m ravenous,” he answered her.
“Really? That’s good.”
“I actively did not each lunch today in preparation for this,” he admitted. “These ribs had better be as colossal as you led me to believe.”
“Oh, they are!” Nadia assured him, dipping her head towards the nearby pelican crossing to indicate that they needed to cross the road. “I swear, you imbibe calories just by breathing the air in this place.”
“Goodie!” Alex hurried to keep up as Nadia set off purposefully. “So did you skip lunch too?”
“Me? No! I’m probably just going to have a salad or a jacket potato!” she waved him off.
Alex snorted as he hurried to keep up. “Like hell you are!”
Nadia
Nadia knew her hair always smelt like barbecue sauce after a meal in this particular place, but couldn’t quite bring herself to care. Alex’s expression as he watched the waiter bring a plate – or, rather, a tray – of the so-called Jacob’s Ladder ribs to a nearby table was too priceless.
“You weren’t kidding,” he told her, unable to take his eyes off the food. “Seriously! What animal is that?”
Nadia shrugged. “We always thought that as it actively doesn’t specify on the menu, we probably didn’t want to know.”
“I think it’s a bit rude to eat an animal and not even know what it is. I might have to ask.”
Nadia jokingly clapped her hands over her ears. “If you do, don’t tell me!”
“It’s probably buffalo or something…” Alex continued, teasingly. Nadia squealed in protest. “A buffalo that’s been fed steroids all its life…”
“Can I get you guys some drinks to start with?” the waitress interrupted, with superb timing.
“He’ll have a Cowboy Martini,” Nadia interjected, just as Alex opened his mouth, presumably to order something less vodka-based. He frowned at her.
“What’s that?”
“Obligatory,” Nadia answered, airily.
“Fine then. Same for the lady, then,” he told the waitress. “And the drinks are my treat,” he said quickly, cutting Nadia off as she opened her mouth to argue. She didn’t want him thinking this was a date, but then again, she was spending pretty much her entire week’s food budget to eat out tonight.
“Two Cowboy Martinis,” the waitress repeated, scribbling something intelligible on her dog-eared notepad. “Are you ready to order food?”
“Yeah, I think I am going to go for the Jacob’s Ladder ribs,” Alex said.
“Yes, I heard,” said the waitress, arching her eyebrow. “And, by the way, it’s just bog-standard beef. Nothing exotic. And no steroids.”
Alex eyed the mountain of ribs that the people on the nearby table were barely managing to make a dent in. “No kidding.”
“Okay, a full rack of the Jacob’s Ladder ribs, then, please, with the standard sides,” Nadia ordered with a smile.
“Each?” asked the waitress, her pen poised over the paper. Alex snorted.
“I think we’re okay to share,” Nadia laughed.
“Ease me in gently, and all that,” Alex informed the waitress solemnly.
“You’d better prep the doggy bag,” Nadia said in a stage whisper.
“Two Cowboy Martinis, one Jacob’s Ladder to share,” the waitress ignored them, good-naturedly, slipping her pen into her apron pocket. “Your drinks will be over in a few minutes, guys, okay?”
“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever had my entire restaurant order done for me,” Alex said, leaning over the table, closer to Nadia, as the waitress moved on. “Is this your idea of me living my own life? Not even getting a choice of food?”
Nadia crinkled her nose in response to his teasing. “Tonight isn’t about the living-your-own-life thingy. Tonight is about a new experience.”
Alex arched his eyebrow as he slid the laminated drinks menu back into its slot in the condiment holder, out of their way.
“Beef for dinner,” he said, in a serious tone. “It’s a brave new world…” Nadia laughed.
It was funny. She’d almost texted him to cancel yesterday. In the cold light of day – without swings and sunsets and Starbucks making things seem special – it was a bit of a mad idea. She was all for spontaneity usually, but this was a little over the top, even for her. She had enough on her plate at the moment, so she wasn’t quite sure why she seemed to be trying to adopt a socially inept twenty-something stranger. Besides, Matt had texted her a careful three days after date number one, to arrange date number two, with Thursday as one of the evenings he was free. She could have taken him to Bodeans after all.
But this wasn’t really a date place; this was a friend place. It smelt like meat and vinegar, had ugly orange lighting and the leather of the booths was scratched and faded pale where thousands of arses had rubbed before hers. Alex seemed to have noticed the shabby state of the booths, too, and rubbed his palm over the seat.
“Okay, so we know the meat isn’t anything exotic… but what do you think the leather is? Moose hide?” Alex clamped his mouth shut guiltily as the smirking waitress returned to their table holding a Martini glass in each hand, the rims dusted in fat white crystals of sugar. Nadia didn’t even wait for the drink to be put down on the table; she took it straight from the waitress as she thanked her. She bloody loved these cocktails.
Alex looked a little more dubious. “Okay, so this is what, now?”
“A Martini. Muddled with mint leaves. So, I guess it’s sort of a cross between a Martini and a Mojito.”
“Okay. And what exactly makes a cross between a Martini and a Mojito Cowboy-y?”
Nadia shrugged, taking a generous sip of the sharp liquid. “What exactly are you looking for here, spurs on the glass stem? Just drink it.”
Alex laughed and took a small gulp. “Hmmm.” He swallowed and exaggeratedly pretended to consider the taste. “Not bad, actually. Still, I could do without the girly glass.” He gently flicked the slender stem of the Martini glass with the back of his finger.
“Hey, if it’s manly enough for James Bond,” Nadia pointed out. “Besides, you could hardly drink it from a pint glass…”
“Wanna bet?” Alex grinned, taking a slightly larger mouthful; he clearly secretly liked it. Nadia studied his face in the pause as he drank. He was already growing familiar to her, good-looking in a preppy way, boyish and as carefully clean-shaven as the men in razor adverts. His hair was equally tidy, and a rich brown, although she knew it shone auburn in the sunshine. Tonight was the first time she’d seen him out of a suit and without his glasses – he must have gone home after work to change. He seemed bigger and more immediate with his biceps bare where they appeared from underneath the sleeves of his shapeless t-shirt.
“So,” Nadia said, templing her fingers on the tabletop between them. “Go on, then. Tell me about yourself.”
Alex had been about to put his glass back down, but instead re-routed it back to his mouth. He raised one eyebrow. “Has anyone ever told you that being with you is a little exhausting?”
Nadia made an affronted little noise in her throat. “How so?”
“I wasn’t expecting my ‘new experience’ to be a job interview in a rib joint.”
Nadia laughed. “It’s just that I realised I don’t really know tons about you.”
“So?”
“What do you mean, so? It’s just a bit weird.”
Alex’s eyebrow arched even higher. “Have you never been on a blind date? Or out with someone you met online?”
“Yeah,” Nadia admitted, “a couple of times.”
“Then how is this any weirder? Besides – you know where I work, whereabouts I live, who I live with…” He raised his hands expansively, as if to say: what more do you need to know? The hems on the arms of his t-shirt rode up towards his shoulders, momentarily revealing an enigmatic black smudge that looked as if it might possibly be part of a tattoo. Now that was a surprise! Nadia surreptitiously tilted her head for a better look, but the fabric had already dropped back down into place.
“You don’t need to worry about small talk, you know,” Alex continued. “This isn’t speed-dating.”
“Yes, apparently it’s more like a job interview!” Nadia reminded him, pretending to be offended. “Although I don’t know what’s wrong with asking a few interested questions in any situation…”
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition,” Alex quoted with a grin.
Nadia rolled her eyes. “Did you seriously just quote Monty Python at me? Seriously?”
“Why, does the girl who breaks into playgrounds think that’s a bit childish?” Alex mocked.
Nadia played along. “Seriously, if I’d known you were this lame, I don’t think I would have invited you to dinner…”
Alex tilted his head. “Really? I thought it was because of exactly that – you felt sorry for me wallowing in my epic lameness and wanted to get me out and about.”
“That’s true,” Nadia said, mock-thoughtful. “Okay, then. But you start quoting Star Wars and I’m out of here.”
Alex
Nadia was looking at him strangely, as if he’d unexpectedly changed colour or something. Okay, he knew he was babbling a bit – okay, a lot – but his social interaction hadn’t amounted to much over recent years and apparently his ability to small-talk had gone to pot as a result. He couldn’t quite work out if she was looking at him oddly because he was talking too much, or because he was talking too little. Or maybe she just plain thought he was odd. Although, he comforted himself, this whole thing was her idea; she was the odd one.
Cheered by that realisation, Alex took another sip of his Martini.
“So,” he began conversationally. “Part of this was you teaching me to love my city, wasn’t it? Well, this cocktail is quite nice, but I don’t think we can credit that to London. Isn’t this an American chain?”
“I think so,” Nadia laughed. “I think the ‘cowboy’ part of the ‘Cowboy Martini’ gives it away.”
“And the American football,” Alex added, gesturing at the suspended television screens that were broadcasting the unfathomable sport.
“Caro went out with an American guy once,” Nadia remembered, shaking her head. “He used to call proper football ‘soccer’ and it drove everyone up the wall.”
“So what’s the deal with Caro?” Alex asked. “Granted, I’ve been in her presence all of thirty seconds, but she seems a little scary.” Nadia looked flustered by the question and Alex fumbled to redeem himself. “I don’t mean that in a bad way,” he stressed. “Just you and Holly seem a bit more chilled out…”
“Caro always has a lot of stuff on her plate,” Nadia granted, her tone carefully nonchalant as she fiddled with the stem of her Martini glass and Alex knew to leave the subject alone.
Nadia obviously wanted to change the topic too. “I went out with that Matt guy last week.”
Oh yes, broad, blond, Belgian-lager-drinking Matt; him out with the pretty, platinum-haired Nadia probably looked like Nazi Aryan porn.
“Oh yeah? Did you enjoy over-sized meat with him too?” Alex barely stopped himself from wincing as he belatedly realised the crude innuendo. Nadia blinked once, then gamely carried on with the conversation.
“No, we just went for drinks. You know, you’re not meant to arrange an actual dinner on a first date.”
“Why not?”
“In case you don’t like them. In case they’re boring. In case they, oh, I don’t know; make wet noises when they chew, talk incessantly about their ex-girlfriend, order the gourmet steak and six sides because they think you are paying, or cry. A whole dinner is a long time to suffer a guy like that. The length of time it takes to drink a glass of wine is more manageable; especially with the speed with which I’ve been known to drink a glass of wine.”
Alex laughed, ever-so-slightly aghast. “Wow, Matt did all that?!” he teased.
Nadia laughed too. “No, not Matt. But sadly I am speaking from personal experience of each of those date disasters.”
“Christ! It’s enough to make you give up!”
“Maybe, but not yet,” Nadia said with a small smile.
“Ah, a hopeless romantic, eh?”
“You only have to meet The One the once,” Nadia pointed out.
Alex felt a momentary strain in his chest and in the smile on his face. He just couldn’t let himself believe that. First Alice. Now Lila. Both had been The One for him, in so far as one could ever be The One, when it was unrequited. He shook it off.
“And so is Matt ‘The One’?” he asked, taking yet another drink, bringing his glass dangerously close to empty already.
Nadia gave a little embarrassed laugh. “Who knows? He might be!” She shrugged. “He’s got the right name, anyway.”
“The right name?” Alex repeated curiously.
The bridge of Nadia’s nose flushed a pretty shade of pink. “Ah, just a stupid, inside joke,” she blagged, seeing off her own drink too.
Alex gestured lightly towards her empty glass. “Same again? Or are there other spirit-based delights on the menu I should be sampling?”
“Oh no, don’t worry,” Nadia said immediately. “I’m okay.”
“No, you don’t worry,” Alex insisted gently. “It was really nice of you to invite me out to dinner. You’re a really cool girl.” Cool girl? Christ, Alex. It just gets better and better from you. Poor thing was going to start thinking she was trapped in an American sitcom from the nineties. Shortly she’d begin eyeing up the door and running through her litany of excuses as if he was a bad date who’d eaten an expensive steak and cried about his ex-girlfriend, or whatever the nightmare was.
But instead, Nadia leaned a little closer to him across the table and briefly squeezed the knuckles of the hand he had lying on the tabletop between them.
“And you’re a really cool guy,” she told him, sincerely, before releasing his hand and reaching for the laminated leaflet that was the drinks menu. “If you insist, there’s always that one cocktail that tastes like an apple pie…”