Chapter Seventeen

Who's The Alpha?

The general’s visit did not end well. The morning after he'd arrived—the morning after Matt had made an excuse about forgetting something at work, and had gone over to Roman's and had the best sex of his life—on that morning, the General was a monumental pain in the ass.

Luci slept in. She was such a lightweight with beer, and she’d probably gotten stoned on s’mores too. Without her presence to buffer things, the General confronted Matt over breakfast, urging, haranguing, and cajoling Matt in turn about at least giving Luci an engagement ring.

Finally, Matt lost his temper. "That's not going to happen, Dad. Period. Things aren't like they were in your day."

The General stared at Matt with suppressed anger. One thing Matt had learned growing up—it was a hazard of his father's job that he was used to being obeyed. Matt thought he honestly tried not to order his family around like he did his soldiers, but it was a struggle for him. Blatant dismissal really lit his fuse.

"This isn't even about Luci, is it?" His voice was cold.

"No, Dad. It's about me. Now can we please stop fighting? I see you a few times a year, and this is how we spend our time. I've been promoted to a DEA agent now. It would be nice if you could be proud of me for one visit at least."

Matt's voice was bitter as bile, bleeding with the resentment he felt at never being good enough.

To his surprise, his father merely pressed his lips together and said, "All right, Matthew. We won't discuss it anymore today."

Matt sensed a warning in those words, as if after today he'd better watch the fuck out. But he didn't know what his father could do to force him on the Luci issue, so he decided he was being paranoid.

They ate the rest of breakfast in a heavy silence. And when the General said he'd be heading out, Matt wasn't surprised. He even hugged Matt before he left. But his eyes… his eyes were steely.


Matt didn't have time to worry about his father. The case they were working was too important. For some reason, Roman wasn't going in to the sheriff's office, but he coordinated with Matt via text. Matt picked Roman up at his cabin for a day of surveillance on the nascent pot farm.

It was a bit weird, when Matt had just been there mere hours before for very much non-work-related reasons, but he tried to stay focused. In truth, he was glad to have Roman back on the job. He felt more like a true work partner than anyone Matt had ever worked with. He filled Roman in on the new operation, on their six suspects, and what they'd been up to so far.

"The most important thing," Matt explained to Roman as they drove toward the site, "is that we can't be made. If they figure out we're on to them, this whole thing will disappear before you can spit sideways."

Roman, in the passenger seat, frowned. "I don't think I can spit sideways."

Matt swore Roman was either the most sheltered guy he'd ever met, or his sense of humor was Sahara dry. "No? Can you say 'Bob's your uncle'?"

"Bob's your uncle. Is Bob your uncle?" Roman asked seriously.

Matt glanced at him incredulously. Roman burst into laughter.

"Was that a joke? Are you actually joking with me?"

"It was funny, wasn't it? Wasn't it funny?" Roman looked very pleased with himself.

"Hilarious. Goofball. Anyway, if they make us, our suspects will disappear fast is my point."

Roman winked at him. It was a little awkward, but it was a wink nonetheless. "I can be silent, Matt. Don't worry."

They parked Matt's Cherokee on a dirt road that was so overgrown, branches scrapped the top of the vehicle. But it was close to the area where the outsiders were building their little enterprise. From there, it was only a mile hike into the woods to a ridge that overlooked the camp. Matt had spent a lot of hours on that ridge with binoculars and a long-lensed camera taking photos.

This morning, he was reluctant to get out of the car. It wasn't yet eight a.m., and the guys they were watching were not morning people. It was nice having a private moment with Roman. Matt wanted to reach out and squeeze his hand or something, but no. It was already crazy enough that they were sleeping together. They had to keep work and after-work completely separate. He sipped his coffee from the diner instead.

"Lance has been pretty helpful about this," Matt admitted. "Charlie has been watching these guys when they're not here. I swear, Lance is on top of every move they make, including their shower schedule—or lack thereof. Which is good, because I won't get much help from the DEA until we have enough evidence for a sting."

"Lance is a good man and a good leader," Roman said firmly. "He won't let these men get away with anything in his territory. He’s very protective of the town."

"He's like a pit bull. Yeah, I know."

Roman looked confused. "He's not like a pit bull at all."

God, the guy was priceless. "It's just a saying, Ro." Matt covered the fond exasperation in his tone by taking another sip of coffee. He was still crabby over his dad's visit. And he didn't entirely trust Lance. Protectiveness was all well and good, but why had Lance objected to the DEA being there, of all things? And Matt was still convinced there was something weird going on in town. But at the moment, he and Lance were on the same side and it didn’t entirely suck. Especially since there was no doubt Roman really did like and trust his boss, and Matt really liked and trusted Roman.

He felt the weight of Roman's gaze. He turned to look at him. Roman's eyes were warm, and his face was so open it almost hurt. Jesus, the guy was such a contradiction. He could be so uptight and tough and regimented sometimes, and yet he had this wide open heart and soft underbelly that was so vulnerable it scared Matt.

Roman shouldn't be that open with guys. There were a lot of assholes out there. He was lucky Matt wasn't one. But Matt wasn't sure even he could be not-asshole enough to avoid hurting Roman.

Or maybe this was simply something Matt had never experienced before and never really thought he would—falling in love. Was that what Roman was doing? Was Matt? The thought was scary as hell and amazingly wonderful at the same time.

Matt gave a quick look around, but there was nothing but greenery and the mountains. "Hey, I guess during work hours we should… be careful. Stick to work. But I, um, I can maybe come over again tonight. If you want."

Roman's smile turned brighter by a shade. "I want you to come over."

"Okay."

It was too many damn feelings for this early on a workday. Time to compartmentalize.

Matt put down his cup. "Okay, Deputy. Let’s saddle up and get into position."

"Yes, sir," Roman said.

Roman found working surveillance with Matt frustrating. They watched the group of men work in a clearing surrounded by woods. The clearing was fresh and raw, with piles of trees and brush they'd brought down with their equipment stacked off to one side.

Roman recognized the red-haired man who shot him. His inner dog itched to run down to the clearing and corner him. But no. That wasn't the way men did things. Men used strategy and law.

Matt took pictures with a really big camera. He said they had to wait for the DEA to approve a raid, and then the DEA would come with SWAT and arrest the men, just like they'd done at the raid in Coarsegold.

Roman couldn't fucking wait. He wanted to see the red-haired man—Clery—arrested. He wanted to be there to see it. Hell, he wanted to do it himself, take the man down, physically, preferably with a nice, loud, satisfying thump! But most likely, he'd have to be on the sidelines. And this time, he'd be in charge of himself enough not to run into gunfire and do something stupid. He hoped.

They watched for six hours. It was boring just watching the men like that. Mostly the other men worked and Clery typed away on his phone.

At the end of the day, Matt said he had to go into the sheriff's office for a while, and Roman said he had to go home, so Matt dropped him off.

Matt smiled when they pulled into Roman's driveway. "Be back later. Want me to pick up a couple of burgers at Daisy's?"

"Yes, please." Roman got out of the passenger side of Matt's car. He wanted to kiss Matt, but something in Matt's posture told him it wasn't a good idea. That was okay. Roman understood the difference between work time and play time, and he figured Matt was still on work time. He hadn't touched Roman all day, because they had been working.

That was smart, because Roman would touch Matt all the time if he could, and they wouldn't get much work done that way.

"See you soon," Matt promised. He drove away.

Roman cleaned his house and then showered and washed his entire body, really, really well. He set his little kitchen table with his mismatched glasses, silverware, and paper towels for napkins. And he made up the futon with sheets and a blanket. It was Roman's favorite blanket. Lily had given it to him. It had big, colorful stripes on it and it was fuzzy and warm. Blankets were awesome!

But when all that was done, Matt still wasn't back yet. Something had been bugging Roman all day, and he decided to give in and call Lance because it was important.

Lance answered his cell phone. From the sound of his voice, he was still at the office. His voice was softer when he was at home with Tim.

"What's up, Roman?" Lance asked. "How did today go?"

"Today went fine. Lance, I'm not a virgin anymore."

On the other end of the call, there was a coughing/choking sound. "Well… congratulations?" Lance said at last.

"I had sex last night. With a person. With Matt."

"Okaay. Good for you. I know you like him… So…"

"It was good. It was really good."

"Fine. That's fine."

"But I have a question about it."

Lance's voice got tight. "I really think Tim is a better person for you to talk to about this subject."

Roman didn't understand why Lance didn't like to talk about sex. It was such a pleasant thing to do, and seemed like you'd want to talk about pleasant things. "But Tim is full human, so he won't understand my question. I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important."

There was silence from the other end of the line, then a sigh. "Okay, Roman. Go ahead."

"When you and Tim have sex, are you the one who mounts him?"

There was an odd sound from the other end. Roman realized it was the grinding of teeth. "Usually. Yes."

"Because when we had sex, Matt wanted me to mount him. And I don't know what that means. Does it mean I'm the alpha in the relationship? If so, what are my responsibilities? I don't want to… I don't want to do something wrong or stupid or… make a mistake."

Lance sighed. "It's not like that with humans, Roman. Someone can, er, take the bottom position in, um, sex, but not necessarily anywhere else. It doesn't mean you're the boss. You can even, um, switch around. It's just about what you feel like doing at the time."

That surprised Roman. "You can switch? Do you switch around? Does Tim sometimes mount you?"

"Hey, look at that! It's a pen. On my desk. For writing work things down. And numbers. I should really get back to work and write things down." Lance's voice was stretched tight enough to snap.

Was he embarrassed to admit that Tim sometimes mounted him? Was that a thing to be ashamed of? But Matt didn't seem ashamed about it when he'd been mounted. Roman was still so confused. "So… should I let Matt mount me if he wants to or not?" he asked, desperate to know. He didn't want to screw things up with Matt, and if there was one place he'd repeatedly screwed things up, it was in understanding human expectations.

"Roman, it's all fine! Okay? You can top, bottom, or do it sideways, it doesn't matter."

"You can do it sideways? Is that like spitting sideways?"

"Look! Just do whatever feels, um, good. In the bedroom. And it doesn't mean you’re the alpha. Okay? Gotta go. Bye." Lance hung up.

Roman put the phone down, still feeling totally at sea. But Lance had said it didn't matter who mounted, so that was something, he guessed. He supposed he should be prepared for anything Matt wanted to do. Hopefully, Matt wouldn't think he was stupid if he didn't understand things right away.

But when Matt knocked on the door a few minutes later, Roman didn't have much time to worry. Matt came in smelling of the woods and crisp air, cheeseburgers and musky tangerines, and Roman's body went straight into sex mode.

Matt must have gone there too, because he put the bag with the burgers on the table and tackled Roman onto the futon. They rolled around on the blanket, kissing and laughing, and Roman decided he shouldn't worry so much about screwing things up with Matt. That’s what it meant to love someone and be loved back—you could do something wrong and it was no big deal.

"Eat first or sex?" Matt asked, even though he was already taking off Roman's pants.

"Sex, eat, then more sex?" Roman suggested.

"Perfect."

Matt sat up enough to pull Roman's jeans down and off, and his socks too.

"My feet are cold."

"Then let's warm them up." Matt waggled his eyebrows and picked up one of Roman's feet in both hands. He brought it to his mouth and sucked on a toe.

Roman grabbed the blanket in shock because a) if anything was dog behavior, that was, and Matt did it without any pause whatsoever! And b) wow, the feeling of Matt's wet, gentle sucking and tonguing around his toes went right to his cock and made it throb on his belly in jealousy.

"Matt!" Roman wasn't sure if he wanted to pull his foot away so Matt would go elsewhere, or beg for more.

Matt pulled off with a plop. "You're so much fun to tease." He crawled up Roman's body with an expression that was wonderfully evil.

"I want to do that to you," Roman said quickly, because soon he wouldn't be able to talk and he'd just follow wherever Matt led. "Not that, but the other thing. I want to put my mouth on your penis and taste you there." Should he have said taste? "Is that okay?"

Matt paused in his crawling. His eyes darkened and he leaned down to kiss Roman's chest, right between his nipples. "Fuck yeah." He sounded like he really liked the idea.

Roman started to get up, but Matt pushed him back down with a hand. "Let's try this," he said, his voice thick and sticky as honey.

He swung himself around and pulled Roman onto his side and then, wow, they were both mouth to lap. What a brilliant idea! Matt was a genius. Roman got lost in the ripe, luscious tangerine smell and in exploring Matt with his nose and tongue, memorizing each scent and texture, from silky soft to hard, from furred to smooth, and every nuance of taste. They all immediately went right to the top of his favorite things list.

When the attention Matt was paying to Roman's penis became too good to focus on anything but pleasure, Roman sucked Matt in all the way and tried to imitate the motion, suction, and pressure that felt so amazing when Matt did it. He must have done all right, because Matt's groans made his mouth vibrate and his thighs started to tremble. They came almost at the same time. Feeling Matt's penis grow even harder and then pump into his mouth was amazing! It was the best thing ever, and Roman really was positive about that this time.

"You're pretty good at this for a greenhorn." Matt panted, turning around to flop down next to Roman.

That made Roman so happy he could hardly stand it. "I want you to like having sex with me. Because I like having sex with you."

"Well, I do like it. A lot. So shut up." Matt lamely bumped Roman's arm with his elbow. "Ready for some burgers?"

"Yes. I'm starving. And then we can have more sex."

Matt laughed. "You about killed me just now, but I have a feeling you'll be able to talk me into it."

In fact, Roman found that when the time came, he had no trouble talking Matt into it at all.