Jewel congratulated herself on getting the spa director’s attention. First part of her mission, accomplished. After her shower, Kauz led her in triumph through the spa, his spectacles flashing, his round face flushed.
As they passed through the dining area, she saw Randy drinking coffee with Sovay, Griffy eating salad alone, and three window cleaners in coveralls plastered to the outside windows, their hands cupped against the glass, looking in. She avoided meeting their eyes. Everyone was staring at her.
“Julia, are you okay?” Griffy said.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she kept saying.
Randy, Griffy, and Sovay got up and followed her.
In the psychespectrometer room, Dr. Kauz explained the principles of colorimetry. It had something to do with refracting and sublimating implied light given off by the human body, in effect, the aura, blah, blah, blah. The machine itself looked like a big-ass, white-panel-faced flourescent light fixture, hanging perpendicular to the floor, with wires connecting it to several monitors and a printer. Behind the panel was a chunk of humming hardware that Dr. Kauz called “the transformer.”
He made her stand in front of the psychespectrometer while he fiddled with the controls.
Griffy said, “This is Julia Hess. She’s suffering from—”
“Stumm!” Kauz touched his lips. “I see very well how she is suffering.” He picked up Jewel’s hand very gently. The round spectacles flashed. “Fräulein, kindly stand there.” He switched on the spectrometer and squinted into an eyepiece. “Mein Gott,” he blurted. “Look at this.” He switched on an overhead monitor, and Jewel craned her neck to look. She caught her breath.
The monitor showed a moving form in blazing acid green.
“Yow.” Griffy stared. “What is it, Doctor?”
Jewel scratched her cheek, and the image on the monitor scratched with her.
Kauz seemed transfixed. “Vot happened to her?”
“Is she supposed to be that color?” Griffy said.
“She is not!”
Sovay slumped against the door. Randy loomed beside her, eyeing the equipment with suspicion.
Jewel stared at her green self. She swallowed.
“How should she look?” Griffy said.
“I demonstrate. If you would exchange places?” Kauz waved to Griffy and she sat. Her rainbow-colored image appeared. Kauz tapped the screen. “Miss Julia’s chromatic distribution should be more diverse, so wie. Exchange again, please?”
Jewel returned to the psychespectrometer. Again the scintillating acid green image filled the monitor.
Kauz seemed fascinated. Maybe I can lure him over to Virgil’s house. She felt very Clay-like, very undercover.
“How does such a woman survive in this world?” Kauz mused.
“That Venus Machine did it!” Griffy said. “They put her in it last night and she’s been different ever since.”
“Machine?” he said murmured, peering into the eyepiece again and twiddling a knob. “Charged. Like cloudful of lightning.” He shook his head. “Incredible.”
“My — my brother is appraising a machine for this lady,” Griffy said, nodding toward Sovay. “It’s a Cattywompusomething.”
“Kat-ter-fel-to,” Sovay pronounced with scorn.
Kauz jerked his head up. “Katterfelto?” The round spectacles filled up with his boogling blue eyes. “Can it be — is it possible that you mean Katterfelto’s Miracle Venereal Attraction Accelerator Apparatus?” He spread his hand over his chest. “Has it reappeared?”
“I guess it works,” Griffy said. “Ms. Sacheverell owns it.”
His voice dropped. “This man is my idol all my life. I have taken his name in his honor. Manchmal,” he said gutturally, “sometimes I think I am his Reinkarnation, you would say, his soul repeated.”
Jewel couldn’t look away from the monitor. “Green. Is that bad?”
He said, “Your symptoms. I must know everything. Let me guess! At first euphoria, satisfaction at being the object of attention. Then, perhaps, a little alarm, yes? Shyness? It is not so pleasant to be under so much close observation.”
She shuddered. “It sucks.”
“I have studied original letter source material,” Kauz said, nodding. “A delicately nurtured mädchen is unprepared for so much scrutiny. Perhaps she shrinks from the spotlight. One must have, I think, the soul of a circus performer to enjoy it. Let me print this reading—” he pressed a button and the image on the monitor froze. Then he pleaded to Jewel, “Fraülein Hess, if I could work with you. Your test is so remarkable. Your symptoms — if I could help in any way — I am familiar with Katterfelto’s theories—”
“We ought to show him the Venus Machine, don’t you think?” Griffy said to Sovay. “Do you mind? It’s your machine.”
Sovay rolled her eyes.
Kauz placed his hands together as if in prayer and bowed to Sovay. “If I can examine the machine, perhaps I can find a way to cure this unfortunate woman’s unbalanced aura. Madame, I beg you, be merciful.”
Sovay jerked her shoulder. “Oh, why not? And bring that thing with you. I’m sure Virgil would love to see it,” she said, sending an unpleasant look at Griffy.
“Of course,” Kauz said.
“I’m going out for some air.” Sovay slouched out of the room, and Randy followed.
And bang, Jewel’s cases were as commingled as a laundry-loadful of pantyhose. “I think I’ll, uh, visit the locker room.” She blundered out past Kauz’s adoring gaze.
In the locker room she phoned Clay’s cell. “Listen,” she hissed, “I’ve got the spa guy coming to Virgil’s house later this afternoon. He’s in love with my green tones and he’s got a hard-on for the Venus Machine. This is our chance to open him up.”
“Did he say anything about the election?”
“No. Not a word. Though I picked up a scary pamphlet about magic in the waiting room. So, listen, what I want to know is, can you get Virgil Thompson to invite him to stay for a few days?”
“What are you hoping to accomplish?” Clay said in a guarded voice. “I thought you didn’t want to commingle the cases.”
“I didn’t, but now I’ve messed up here and they’re all tangled together,” she confessed. “Will Virgil cooperate?”
“No problem. The guy’s got a hard-on for the Venus Machine, and he has a bunch of money for his campaign fund, but he needs more. And Virgil is rich and crazy about magic. Only question is, who’ll be gladder to see whom.”
“Groovy. I need to hear him talking about his platform. Also I hope to establish a link between him and Buzz. Buzz is distributing a concoction for Kauz, I’m sure of it. Maybe he’ll have Buzz meet him at Virgil’s house.”
“Surely Buzz will cooperate if charges can be laid against him,” Clay said.
She sighed. “You don’t know Buzz.” The locker room door opened. Sovay and Griffy came in. “I gotta go.” She hung up.
Clay seemed mighty sure of Kauz’s welcome. And very interested in Kauz’s campaign money.
Great. She was unleashing one con artist on another. No, three, she was forgetting Sovay the Snake. Was that ethical? Did she get to bend the rules when she was undercover? How much? When would the whole thing blow up in her face and leave her covered in anti-glory and federal violations?
She’d already had three showers but, now that Kauz had slathered her with his icky admiration, she felt a little less than fresh. She took another.