‘Cass?’ Adam says. ‘Did you hear me?’
‘What? Sorry,’ I say. ‘I missed that. There was a … fight at the end of the road.’
‘Shit? Really? Well, go back inside. I’ll ring you tomorrow.’
‘No,’ I say. ‘I’ll ring you. I forgot my charger so I’m keeping my phone turned off most of the time.’
‘Bloody hell, Cass! Just go and buy another charger.’
‘They’re different here, I think. Don’t worry. I’ll ring you. Don’t work too hard.’
He laughs. ‘Oh I won’t.’
‘OK. Don’t wank too much then.’
‘Back atcha.’
I smile.
‘I love you,’ Adam says.
‘Me too.’
‘That was Adam?’ Nick says, as soon as I sit down.
I nod. ‘Thank you for bringing my coat. It’s ridiculously freezing out there.’
He shakes his head. ‘No worries. How is he?’
‘He’s OK,’ I say. ‘Working hard.’
‘So you’re still friendly then?’ He piles more food on his plate and my stomach rumbles.
‘Oh yeah,’ I say. ‘You know … I have to see him at uni anyway.’
He pushes the mole towards me and I take some.
‘So what happened?’ He gives me the look that Chloe called the knicker-melter and James called the Lady Di. Chin down, eyes up.
‘We just sort of … fizzled out,’ I say. ‘He works a lot – uni and he’s got a teaching assistant job – and we just became, you know – ’
‘More like brother and sister?’ Nick grins.
‘Yes, smart arse. More like brother and sister.’
‘We never had that problem.’ He gives me one of those looks again.
‘We didn’t,’ I say. ‘Just lots of other problems.’
‘It was really good for a while there, wasn’t it?’
I nod. It really was. I eat some more food. The mole is amazing. And so is the margarita.
‘Are you going to stay in Manchester?’ Nick asks, helping himself to more food.
‘Not sure. I’ve been thinking about a total change, but … I don’t know.’
‘Why?’
I shake my head. ‘I don’t want to think about it now. It’s been stressing me out and this is supposed to be a break. A freebie. Right?’
I kick off my boot under the table and slide my foot up his leg to his lap. He grins at me. The dangerous grin that I became completely addicted to before we were together and a bit nervous of after. He shuffles in his seat and pours out the last of the margarita.
‘We can walk,’ he says, as we leave the restaurant. He grabs my hand. ‘It’s not far.’
‘Too far,’ I say, tugging him to the kerb and waving for a taxi.
‘It’s not!’ he says. ‘We’ll get there quicker on foot, I promise.’
We cross the road and Nick pulls me into a doorway, pressing me up against the wall and kissing me fiercely. I slide my hands inside his coat, across his stomach, feeling his erection pressed against my leg.
‘I thought we were in a hurry,’ I say.
‘I’m in a hurry for this,’ he says, kissing my throat and pulling my hips hard against his. I can hardly stand it. I can hardly stand. I don’t know how I’m going to walk the rest of the way.
‘Come on,’ I say. ‘I need –’
‘What?’ he says, against my mouth.
‘You. I need you.’ My stomach clenches violently.
Nick steps back and gives me that intense look. Then he grabs my hand and we start to run. We run past bars and shops, dodging bins and bikes and people. We kiss again as we wait to cross the enormous road the taxi took me up this morning and then we’re running again. A man sitting on a bench shouts ‘Run, Forrest, run!’ and we look at each other and laugh. We turn a corner and skitter past an empty lot then almost burst into the hotel.
A member of staff calls something to us, but we cross straight to the lifts and are lucky that there’s one there waiting. As soon as the doors close, we’re kissing again, pressed up against the mirror. Nick’s hands are on my breasts and I pull his hips hard against mine. We’re both panting and grabbing hungrily at each other. It reminds me of the first night we got together when I couldn’t get enough of him. When I thought maybe he was interested, but I wasn’t sure enough to show any interest in him. I thought being rejected – even though I knew he’d have done it nicely – by Nick would have been the worst thing to ever happen to me. By then I had a full-blown crush. Beyond a crush, really. I thought about him all the time. I looked out for him at uni constantly. I couldn’t concentrate on my work. I dreamt about him. Chloe suspected – or knew, more likely – but I didn’t even admit it to her. I wanted even the fantasy of being with him all to myself.
The lift door opens and we stagger out. I feel drunk. I am drunk. But I feel drunk on Nick. We sort of shuffle, still kissing and grabbing, along the corridor to our room and as soon as the door is closed behind us, we fall on the bed. And then we’re pulling each other’s clothes off. I feel completely out of control. I want to climb inside him or just press so hard against him that our bodies merge into each other. He rolls on top of me and I love the weight of him. I’ve missed it. I’ve missed everything about him. The way he smells, the way he laughs, the way he kisses, the way he looks at me.
I undo his jeans and slide my hand inside, feeling how hard he is. Feeling how much he wants me. He’s missed me too. I start to move my hand and Nick groans.
‘No. Not yet. I want to –’ He rolls onto his back and starts to take off his jeans. I undo mine, slide them down my legs and kick them off then roll over and straddle Nick. I gasp as I feel him under me. I run my fingernails across his stomach and he groans again. I love that sound. His jeans are round his knees and I can feel him trying to kick them off. I lift my top over my head.
‘Oh my God,’ he says. His eyes are dark as he looks at me.
I feel incredible. Powerful and beautiful and terrified.
‘Take your bra off,’ Nick says. ‘Now.’
I reach back and undo the clasp, slide the straps down my arms and lean forward, letting it fall onto his stomach. I’m still staring in his eyes. I want to look away. I want to look out at the view or down at his body or anywhere. But I force myself to keep looking. At Nick.
I slowly slide down until I’m lying on top of him. And then I move back up, dragging my breasts across his chest. I shudder as the fine hair on his chest grazes my nipples. I keep moving up until my breast is in his mouth. He kisses and bites and sucks it hungrily and I close my eyes tightly, bracing my hands against the mattress.
Nick’s hand slides into my knickers. He thrusts a finger deep inside me. And I’m gone.