There was no sign of Jason when I left Catherine’s room, but Abby and Boone were hot on my heels as I darted up the narrow staircase to the attic. Each question they peppered me with was like a barb into my back.
“What did you do?” Boone asked.
“Why’d you hurt Jason?” That one was Abby.
“Are you even going to talk about what happened?” Boone again.
On the top step I spun on them, my arms trembling. “Just give me a second to breathe!”
Startled, they paused and regarded me warily. Guilt crept in. I hadn’t meant to snap, but it seemed better than giving them the truth. That the anger had won out momentarily. Instead of answering, I passed over the threshold and into my sanctuary. As soon as I was clear, the door slammed shut behind me.
“Quinn!” Boone shouted, immediately banging on the door.
I reached out to open it before I thought the action through. Of course I couldn’t. Figured I’d be used to that by now.
“It’s time for us to talk. In private.”
My spine stiffened as I turned to face Kalfu. He stood in the middle of the room, top hat tilted rakishly on his head. Even in this man’s presence, the heartbreak I’d just experienced leaked through. A sob burst out of my throat, and I clung to my midsection, trying not to fall apart. With Catherine, I’d put on a good show. Here, I couldn’t pretend anymore.
Behind me, the banging and yelling continued. Desperation rang in my friends’ voices, but I made no move to let them in. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as Boone’s and Abby’s attempts suddenly stopped.
Nausea pinched my stomach as I regarded Kalfu. “What did you do to them?”
“Oh, they’re still there, wailing incessantly. The noise was beginning to give me a headache.” I cast a glance back at the door. “Don’t worry. They won’t be harmed.”
Swallowing past the hot lump of despair, I struggled to get myself under control. My intention had been to escape to the attic and wallow in self pity, to lament my losses. It wasn’t just my virginity I mourned. I’d never been the kind of girl who clung to it and dreamed of rainbows and angels singing as it happened. What I’d lost was the choice. I’d lost the ability to have any control over my life.
Sniffling, I wiped at my nose. I hated showing Kalfu weakness, but I was so sick of feeling like I was losing.
“Things are spiraling out of your control,” he said matter-of-factly. I blinked a few times, unaware I’d said that last thought aloud.
“What do you mean?” I grumbled, rubbing at my damp eyes.
“How much more do you want to lose? Are you going to wait until she marries, carries a child to term? These are milestones that should be yours. They belong to you.”
The anger, which had continued humming under the surface, returned. “I can’t do what you ask of me.”
“Cora is dead. What does it matter? It’s not murder.”
I wanted to find a rational argument, but I couldn’t. Exhaustion weighed me down, caused everything to hurt. “Even if I agreed, I wouldn’t know how to do it.”
Kalfu sauntered forward, jabbing a cold finger into my chest. “It lies here, within you. I am merely giving you motivation. You have the tools.”
My mind raced, and so soon after discovering Jason’s betrayal, the temptation called to me more than ever. An idea occurred to me, one born of jealousy and spite. There might be a way to have all I wanted and more. A tiny voice called out, cautioning me that this was the rage and hurt talking. I ignored it.
“If I help, you will give me my life back, exactly the way it was?”
He nodded. “Catherine’s effects will remain, but yes, you will be Quinn Roberts again, body and soul.”
“I want her gone,” I blurted, before losing my nerve. “Catherine. I do not want her haunting my town, my house or my boyfriend. Get rid of her.”
Kalfu smiled at me, gold glinting. “Easy enough. An admirable request, love. Once Cora is no longer tied to this land and rotting where she belongs, I will dispose of Catherine. She will never threaten you again.”
I hesitated. I wasn’t this person, one fueled by revenge. My pause made Kalfu’s mouth fall. He waved his hand, and the room around us faded, morphing into another. I turned, only to glimpse flashes of Jason and Catherine kissing. His hotel. I remembered visiting it before. His hands lifted her shirt then caressed down her spine. Next, I saw them lying on the bed, a shaft of moonlight illuminating only bare skin.
Fire erupted in me, hot and ugly. It pierced my chest, pulling a groan from my throat.
“Fine. I’ll do it. Just make this stop.”
Instantly, the images vanished, revealing a smug Kalfu. The joy on his face made me sick, but I didn’t take my agreement back.
“What now?” I asked, unable to stop trembling.
He reached into his moth-eaten vest and pulled out a roll of ancient parchment. As he opened it, I noticed it was blank.
“Once you sign it, the details of our arrangement will fill in.”
“I get rid of Cora and you give me my life back.”
“Along with ridding you of the lovely Catherine.”
“What else?”
“What do you mean?”
“It can’t be that simple. I’m not stupid, Kalfu.”
He shrugged. “It also means I may call on you from time to time. Do not fret, child. Once Cora is gone, I will not have as much need for a servant as I do now. Basically, you will not have the option to turn me down.”
“My entire life?”
“No, no, no. There is a limit to the favors I may ask. Does three sound fair?”
I ran a trembling hand through my hair. So many emotions swirled through me. It was impossible to think straight.
“Allow me to grant you a favor for free. Your precious Jason has joined the ruckus at the door. Let him in, only him, and I will show you how great my mercy is.”
He inclined his head, and warmth spread into my limbs. I knew this feeling. Glancing down, I noticed my body was solid. In my chest, my heart beat strong and steady. I was me again. Too happy to care where the gift came from I strode to the door and grasped the knob. Joy caused my breath to catch in my throat at the simple sensation of iron in my hand. Swinging the door open, I prepared for the shock.
Abby reacted first. “Quinn! How?”
“I need to talk to Jason. Alone.”
Jason started at me, jaw slack, but it was Boone who spoke.
“What are you going to do?”
I glared at him. “Trust me.”
“How is this happening?” His expression hardened. “Don’t give in to anything without thinking it through.”
“Jason? Please?”
He nodded quickly, brushing past Boone as if afraid I’d change my mind.
Boone grabbed him by the arm. “Be careful.”
“I’m not going to hurt him, you idiot,” I ground out.
I yanked on Jason’s other arm, loving the electricity in the touch, and pulled him into the attic before Boone had a chance to reply. Right as I slammed the door shut again, I was rewarded with his heavy scowl and Abby’s bewilderment. Either Kalfu’s trick was still working or they gave up, because all was quiet on the other side of the wood.
Suddenly nervous, I released my grip on Jason and put a couple feet between us. Once I felt strong enough, I faced Jason who stared at me in awe.
“You’re real.”
Eating up the distance, he stepped forward then reached up and cupped my cheek, running his thumb across it. I gaped at him, at a loss for words. As he finally wrapped me up tight, I burrowed into him. Everything about his embrace was exactly as I remembered—the scent, the way I fit, the safety. Regaining my wits, I clung to him, afraid Kalfu’s gift would end too soon.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, tucked into Jason’s arms, but as time passed memories assaulted me. Not the good ones either. Choking back a sob, I shoved away from him.
“I can’t do this.”
He flinched and ran a hand over his face. “I wasn’t expecting you to actually be here, like physically.”
“Sorry to make it harder for you.” I couldn’t stop the words.
“I had everything I wanted to say set in my mind. Seeing you threw me for a loop. This is the Quinn I remember.” He gave me a cautious grin. “I always loved the purple in your hair.”
“Yet, you didn’t seem to mind when she took it out.”
“Girls, women, change their styles constantly. Like an idiot, I didn’t really think anything of it. It certainly wasn’t enough to make me think you’d been body snatched.”
“Obviously nothing was.”
He took a hesitant step forward, and I held my ground.
“Okay, fine, yeah, I worried when you stopped taking pictures or wore something pink, but all I wanted was to be there for you, to support you as you got back on your feet. I assumed you were going through a hard time.”
This was the part I could almost forgive him for. I understood him accepting the changes as me adjusting to life on my own and letting me spread my wings.
“When I lost my brother.” He paused to sigh. “When I lost Dylan, I knew he was gone. I watched it happen, minute by agonizing minute while trapped in the car with him. As terrible as it was, I got it. I understood the second he was dead he’d never come back. With you, since I’ve learned the truth, it’s hard to accept. I see your body, can touch it. Knowing it’s not really you doesn’t always compute. Ghosts mean death, and I don’t want to lose someone else.”
Which explained the mooning glances I’d witnessed.
“You haven’t said anything yet.”
“I don’t know what to say, Jason.”
“I want to make this better, believe me. I fell hard for you, and I’m not willing to give it up yet.”
“And you kept falling for me the last month.” The stubborn part of me was like a dog with a bone.
He jerked as if I’d reached out and slapped him. It took him a while to find the right words. Finally, he settled on a simple, “Yes.”
The heat inside me flared. Rational, level headed Quinn wondered what I would do in his situation. If his body was taken over by someone very good at impersonating him. Would I notice the subtle changes and chalk them up to getting to know him better?
I didn’t want to be rational.
“What was different about her? That you liked?”
“Quinn, don’t make me do this,” he begged. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You already have!” I yelled, startling him.
“You act like this has been easy. Black and white. I don’t know what I’m supposed do here!”
“Sounds to me like it’s been pretty easy,” I mumbled.
“I’ve been in hell the last couple days. Everyone else here has a link to the paranormal, a way to see you or communicate with you. I’m an outsider. Dammit, I want to help, but I don’t know how. Not after I’ve hurt you so badly.”
I steeled my heart against his admission. It probably was hard, being left out of so much, but he didn’t have the skills Abby or Boone did. What I needed from him was support and faith, the things I hadn’t gotten, not in the way that mattered.
“If you want to help, tell me the truth about why Catherine was better.”
He paced in front of me, a ball of nervous energy. “Fine, you want to know what was different? She wasn’t as hesitant about showing me affection in public, about the consequences of what people would think about someone like her with someone like me. She relaxed in that environment a lot quicker. I didn’t have to worry about her as much.”
I swallowed the sudden sobs in my throat, determined not to show him how deeply his words wounded me.
“There were plenty of reasons why I held back with you. Most importantly, the fact I’d been threatened repeatedly, warned I wouldn’t live to see my eighteenth birthday. Forgive me for being a little cautious. Not all of them revolved around your world and what you do for a living.”
“I know, and I didn’t mean for it to come out so badly. With you, all I knew was your fear, your limitations based on what was happening with your family. With Catherine, it was gone. It felt freer. It was who I always imagined you to be.” He must have seen my crestfallen expression. “No, crap, this is not coming out right. I pictured being with you after we helped your stepmother, when your life was back to normal. It involved sitting outside at a café and you not caring if we had our picture taken because you were that confident about us. I wanted to walk down the street with you and hold your hand, in the open. I guess I was too caught up in it actually happening, I didn’t pay enough attention to the details.”
Exhaustion was causing me to sway. After using this anger earlier in Catherine’s bedroom, and again now, I felt the effect it was having on me. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on to it. So, I ripped the scab off my fresh wound.
“Who initiated things first? You or her?”
“Why are you doing this?”
I didn’t really know. “Because I need all the facts if I ever plan on moving past it.”
“It was mutual, just kind of happened. Being with you, with her, wasn’t planned. One night, things progressed to a point neither of us wanted to stop.” He drew in a shaky breath. “I know I’ve done irreparable damage, and I understand the consequences, that I may have lost you forever. All I’m asking is for you to take some time. I don’t want this to distract you from the most important thing, which is finding a way to get your life back.”
I barely heard what he’d said. My mind was saturated with visions of them kissing and touching, in bed together. It all became too much. As if it had a mind of its own, the simmering anger reared up, becoming almost impossible to contain.
“You should leave,” I warned him.
“No, I have more to say to you.”
“Go. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
This made him tense. “What do you mean?”
My gaze refused to reach his eyes, and I stared at his chest. “Wait. Where is your amulet? The one from Meena?”
He reached for it absently. “I had to take it off for a photo shoot. I think I left it in my trailer on location.”
“Find it,” I ground out. “It will protect you from me.”
“You won’t hurt me,” he said stubbornly. “Not again.”
“I can’t always control the anger. Not anymore,” I shouted, feeling the heat building inside me. “Get out! Please!”
For a second, I didn’t think he would listen, but his entire body slumped in defeat. Right as he got to the entrance, he looked back at me. “This isn’t over.”
I watched him leave, feeling more torn and confused than ever. He was right. I needed to process all this. It wasn’t going to resolve itself overnight. I let go of the anger and shook my hands, hating how oily they felt afterward.
Relationship drama was for later. Now I had a crazy ghost to confront and a deal to make.
On cue, Kalfu materialized out of thin air, grinning from ear to ear.
“My respect for you has grown even more.”
“Why?”
“For not letting him off the hook so easily. You deserve to be heartbroken, to wallow in your hurts. He should treat you better.”
I blinked a few times, processing the kind statement. It seemed so out of character for him. Immediately, I was suspicious. Regardless of his cooperation and the gift of making me real enough to confront Jason, I understood who he really was.
“I have a question.” He raised an eyebrow and waited. “What if I sign this contract of yours and can’t go through with it, with getting rid of Cora or doing one of your requests later on?”
He frowned, one of the rare unfriendly expressions I’d seen on his face. It made him look very much the part of the villain. “Going against me once we have a written agreement would be very bad indeed. Your soul would belong to me, to do with as I choose.”
I struggled not to shudder. “How is that different than me owing you favors?”
“You’d still have your free will, love.”
Kalfu didn’t elaborate, and to be honest, he didn’t have to. Without free will I’d be his puppet and not just when he needed me. I’d lose all control over my life and become Catherine. Or worse.
“Okay, what now?” I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, realizing I was still in my human form. As unsure as I was about accepting this deal, I was sick of being a ghost, of being hurt both physically and emotionally. Even if the only benefit of working with Kalfu was getting rid of the traitorous Catherine, I’d be perfectly fine with that.
The loa pulled out the blank parchment again, brandishing it with all the flourish of a magician. “Now, it’s just a matter of the signing. Hold out your hand.”
Tentatively, I reached out and focused on not letting my hand tremble.
His smile became predatory. “In exchange for ridding me of the frightful Cora and three yet-to-be-named favors in the future I, Kalfu, Watcher of the Crossroads, swear to return you to your body and dispose of Catherine Roberts. Quinn Roberts, do you accept my help and agree to this bargain?”
I nodded.
“You must say the words, love.”
“Yes, I accept.”
He waved his hand over my outstretched palm. A flash of pain erupted there. I glanced down to see a cut opening across the skin. A dark red gash appeared. I hissed in reaction.
“Blood is binding,” Kalfu said as he winked.
Wrapping his long fingers around my wrist, he held my hand over the blank contract. A drop of blood fell, hit the paper, and suddenly words appeared. My signature, the deep red color of blood, graced the bottom.
“It is done.”
He flicked his arm again, and the cut on my palm healed over, tickling slightly. I gasped, and my chest heaved. The weight of what I just did hit me. The room spun. Reaching out, I grasped my old computer desk for support. Oh, God, what did I do?