Roth had thrown himself into his work—arriving at the office at the crack of dawn, not leaving until pitch dark. Why? Because designing a new aircraft was the only thing that kept him half-sane and his mind off Tressa. That and playing the sax, but somehow, playing always brought his thoughts back to her.
When his cell phone rang, he tossed a glance at the clock. Eight. Shit. He was late. Taking the call from Alonso, he said, “I lost track of time. I’m on the way.”
Alonso rattled off something about it being packed and he’d go ahead and grab a table. Ending the call, Roth logged off his computer before midnight for the first time in days, gathered his belongings and headed out to meet Alonso—who would undoubtedly spend the evening trying to cheer him up. Why? Because that was what best friends did for each other.
A half hour later Roth sat inside the Flaming Arrow Bar and Grille, nursing a glass of top-shelf bourbon. Conversation swirled around him, people happy and celebrating life. He envied them, because at this moment his life was shit. Without Tressa, his…life…was…shit. He was man enough to admit that.
So why in the hell hadn’t he done anything about it?
Scanning the room, his eyes lingered on blissful couples hugged up in booths, whispering sweet nothings to each other. He saw people on their way to being happy couples, offering enduring gestures in hopes of solidifying their positions in each other’s lives. Then there were the individuals obviously searching for that love connection, exchanging interested glances and warm smiles. Lastly, the handful clearly looking for just an evening with no commitment.
Him, in a past life.
Roth grumbled and damned everyone around him for carrying on with their lives while his life was falling apart around him. What had love done to him? And why had he allowed Alonso to talk him into coming here against this backdrop of happiness?
Alonso claimed another one of the habanero wings from the platter. “Have you called her?”
After giving her some time to come to her senses—which hadn’t happened—he’d decided to help her along by reaching out. She’d shunned him like a leper. “A hundred times. I feel like a stalker.” He took a swig from his glass. “She hasn’t blocked me yet. I guess that’s a good sign.”
“She will come around,” Alonso said.
Roth wasn’t so sure about his friend’s optimism. The anger he’d suppressed came back with a vengeance. “Why in the hell am I sitting around, moping? I haven’t done anything. I never touched India. If Tressa can’t trust me, then maybe…” His heart wouldn’t allow him to complete the sentence.
“Tressa loves you, Ro. She’s just hurting. Give her time to sort all her feelings. She will come around.”
“Yeah, well, I’m hurting, too. She tossed me away, man. She tossed me away just like every other—” Stopping abruptly, he finished the contents of his glass and motioned to the waitress for a refill. Enough of this feeling-sorry-for-himself bull. “I’m good. How do I even know it’s worth it anyway?”
Alonso pushed his plate away and wiped his hands. “What if Tressa walked in with another man right now?”
Alonso’s words ignited an inferno inside Roth, and lava flowed through his veins. His jaw clenched so tightly he thought the bones would shatter. The mere suggestion of another man getting any of Tressa’s time caused him to see red.
Alonso jabbed a finger at him. “That reaction, my friend, is how you know it’s worth it.”
Roth’s brow furrowed.
Alonso barked a single laugh. “You looked like you were ready to kill over a woman who hasn’t spoken to you in over a week. That’s love, man. And love is always worth it.”
Roth’s heart rate slowly decreased. He massaged the tension from the back of his neck. “Could you have thought of another way to make your point?”
Alonso flashed his palms. “Hey, I did what I had to do. You were there for me when I had given up any hope of getting Vivian back. You had my back. Now it’s time for me to repay the favor.”
Alonso clapped Roth on the shoulder. Roth couldn’t be mad at his best friend for getting his blood boiling. That’s what true friends did. They said and did whatever they needed to do to keep each other from making devastating mistakes.
“Thank you, man,” Roth said.
“My pleasure. Now, let’s strategize on how you’re going to get your woman back.”
There was no need. Roth knew exactly what he needed to do.
* * *
Tressa rolled her head to the side to glance at the clock sitting on her nightstand. Four o’clock. In two hours she had to be up, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t be either. She’d be surprised if she’d got four full days’ worth of sleep total in the past two weeks. One thing was for sure; she couldn’t keep going like this.
Her eyes landed on the black tourmaline on the nightstand, and she thought about Roth. He hadn’t had a nightmare since she’d given him the crystals. She’d attributed it to the tourmaline; he’d attributed it to her. Recalling how grateful he’d been by her gesture warmed her, along with words he’d said. Woman, you’re the answer to my unspoken prayers. The amount of compassion that had glowed in his eyes…
Tressa swallowed down the building emotions. She hated to admit it, but she missed Roth like hell. The way he touched her—as if she were a rare stone. The way he kissed her—with so much intensity it left her breathless. The way he made love to her—as if he was giving her chunks of his soul.
Tressa pinched her eyes together to fend off her tears. Her head suggested she needed to get over Roth, but her heart gave other advice; sound advice, she chose to believe. So why was she lying there in bed alone and not beside the man she loved?
Because you are a stubborn fool, Tressa Washington. And it has cost you the best thing that’s ever happened to you. A beat later, tears rolled from her eyes.
She cried.
She cried long.
She cried hard.
She cried ugly.
She cried for the pain she’d denied feeling over her loss.
She cried for the many times she’d rejected how much she missed Roth.
She cried for the countless moments she’d told herself she no longer loved him.
She cried for…for the mere fact there had been no laughter in her soul since she’d walked away from him.
She cried until there were no more tears left.
Had losing Roth truly been a sign she deserved to be alone? She certainly believed in signs, especially ones she’d asked for. But she hadn’t asked for this. She would have never asked for her heart to be ripped from her chest. She would have never asked for this type of pain.
But had she?
She’d been the one who’d refused him the opportunity to explain. She’d been the one who’d walked away, her hurt overshadowing the guidance of her heart. She’d been the one who’d, for the past few weeks, refused to reach out to him. Had she asked for this?
Two hours later the alarm sounded and Tressa slammed her hand onto the snooze button. She draped her arm over her eyes, cursing the light penetrating her blinds.
It can’t be six already.
Dragging herself from the bed, she charged through her morning bathroom routine, then headed for the kitchen to consume a trough of coffee. The fragrant java smell greeted her the second she opened her bedroom door. Thank God for coffee machines with timers. The first sip of the strong brew caused a twitch in her lips that would have normally blossomed into a smile.
Today she didn’t feel like smiling. Would she ever again? Feel like it or do it?
Leaning against the counter, she steadied the cup between her hands. She just couldn’t continue like this. Her job performance was taking a hit and so was her health. Over the past two weeks she’d experienced elevated blood pressure and heart palpitations. She blamed it on sleep deprivation and stress. Her eyes lowered to her mug. Of course, her increased caffeine intake could be a contributor, as well.
Relinquishing the mug, she grabbed her insulated tumbler and filled it to the brim. Checking the time, she grabbed her purse and headed for the door. If she was late again, Ms. Kasetta, the toughest charge nurse in the South, would have her head—and her job, no doubt.
Stopping abruptly, she cursed, veered back to the kitchen and lifted her keys from the hook. “Can’t go anywhere without these.” Satisfied she hadn’t forgotten anything else—like her brain—she hurried out the door.
The second she stepped foot on the porch, Tressa gasped and dropped the tumbler. The top popped off and hot coffee ran everywhere. The mess only fazed her for a millisecond, sending her gaze back to her lawn.
Stunned by the display, her eyes swept her front yard. “What the…” Countless airplanes littered her grass. Stepping over the spilled coffee, she descended the stairs. Her purse slid from her arm and thunked to the ground. There was only one person who could have accomplished this. Roth.
Her eyes brushed from one side of the yard to the other. Where was he? Was he still there? Watching her, maybe?
Collecting one of the lavender planes, she unfolded it. Sure enough, a message was scribbled inside, just as she suspected. “Memories are priceless. One of the best ones I have is making snow angels with you.” A smile touched her lips. It was one of her best, too.
She lifted another lavender plane. It, too, contained a memory message. “We don’t remember days, we remember moments. I’ll never forget the exact moment I fell in love with you.” Tressa flipped it over, expecting more to be written. Disappointed that there wasn’t.
She wanted to know when.
She swallowed hard and blinked back tears. Choosing a white airplane this time, she pulled it apart as if gold coins waited inside for her. This one was a Maya Angelou quote.
“‘People will forget—’” Her voice cracked and she recited the rest in her head. The last line, people will never forget how you made them feel, was written in all caps. Roth’s penned words followed. You make me feel invincible.
Tressa clapped her hand over her mouth, a single tear sliding from her eye. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
A red plane caught her eye. Scanning, she realized it was the only red plane there. Moving to the center of the yard to collect it, she took a deep breath before unfolding it. I promise was the only thing written. Tressa brows bunched. I promise? What did he promise?
Before she got the opportunity to ponder the cryptic message any further, a paper plane soared overhead and landed a foot or two in front of her. She turned urgently, expecting to see Roth standing there. Nothing. Where in the heck was he?
“Roth?”
Her eyes scanned the yard again, even kneeling to look under her vehicle. Bemused, she gave up her search for him and collected the steel blue plane. She gasped, recognition setting in immediately. This was her plane, the one she’d crafted at the cabin. She studied her handwritten words—smeared, but somewhat still legible—on the warped piece.
“How—”
“When I first read your words, he makes me feel like I’m soaring, I swore I’d do any and everything in my power to always make you feel that way.”
The soothing sound of Roth’s steady tone caressed her like tiny fingers exploring every inch of her body. Gathering her thoughts, she turned to face him. The sight of him sent a boom through her system, reviving every part of her that felt as if it’d died since they’d been apart. For the first time in what she labeled forever, she felt alive again.
Her eyes took in every inch of him. His handsome face, his thick shoulders, the brown short-sleeved shirt he wore, the jeans that hung perfectly from his toned frame, even his all-black tennis shoes. I’ve missed you, she said, but only in her head.
Lifting the plane, she said, “How did you get this?”
“Glen.”
Her eyes widened. “It made it to town.”
Roth chuckled that beautiful sound she’d missed so much.
“Almost. He came across it when he was searching for his dog who’d run off into the woods. And since I’m the only one known for crafting paper planes, he put two and two together.”
Dumb luck or fate. She wasn’t sure which, and she didn’t care. All that mattered was that it’d brought Roth back to her.
Roth cupped his hands in front of him. “I have something to say. Just listen. Please.”
Tressa nodded.
“Baby—” He paused as if he’d suddenly recognized an error he’d made. When he started again, he dropped baby. “Tressa, I get it. It’s not always about what happened. Sometimes it’s about perception, appearance. The things you heard… I get it. They were awful and they hurt you. But there are two important things I need for you to know, then I’ll leave.”
Leave? The word rattled her.
“First, I have never, ever been unfaithful to you. The things you heard…” He shook his head. “I never did anything that would disrespect you. I put that on my life.”
“What about the kiss—” The idea of Roth kissing another woman froze the words in her throat.
“She kissed me on the neck. It wasn’t provoked, nor wanted. That’s the only time in five years her lips have ever touched me.”
So much passion radiated from Roth’s words that all she wanted to do was drape her arms around him. But she resisted. “You said you had two things to tell me.”
“The second thing… I love you more than life itself. You are my life. I’ll never stop fighting for you, for us. Because that’s what I do, baby. I fight for what I love, for who I love. I’ll never stop fighting. That’s my promise to you.”
Tressa swallowed hard, her chest aching with emotion. Roth reached up to touch her but abandoned the thought.
“That’s all,” he said, his voice cracking. “I won’t take up any more of your time.” He backed away, then turned to leave.
“When—” She took a deep breath, then started again. “When did you know?”
Roth turned slowly. Asking for no reference, no clarification that they were even talking about the same thing, he closed the distance between them. “When you took my hand at the cabin and placed it over your heart. My heartbeat fell in sync with yours at that very moment. And I knew I would love you for the rest of my life. These past two weeks—” he lowered his head as if to hide shame “—let’s just say my heartbeat has been irregular.”
Tressa thought about her own suffering. She’d contributed her palpitations to sleep deprivation, stress and caffeine. But could it have been from Roth’s absence? Could their hearts truly beat in such harmony?
Obviously.
“I owe you an apology, Roth. I was closed-minded and judgmental. I never gave you the benefit of the doubt or the respect you deserved. I let fear guide me. But that’s no excuse for how I treated you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. And I would do anything, anything, to have you back in my life again.” Tressa’s heart pounded against her rib cage and tears rolled down her cheek. “I don’t deserve a second chance, Roth, and I’m not sure I deserve you, but I want—I need—you.” She took a deep breath, then continued, “You are that spark that ignites everything good in me. I should have been the one fighting, Roth. I should have been the one fighting for you, for us. I’m fighting now.”
This time when Roth reached out to touch her, he didn’t pull back and neither did she. When the pads of his thumbs swiped across her skin, she closed her eyes, feeling as if her entire spirit recharged from his touch.
Roth rested his forehead against hers. “I’m lost without you.”
“I love you, Roth Lexington. I love you with every cell in my body. Do you forgive me for hurting you? Can you—”
His mouth crashed against hers, the feel of his lips causing a surge through her entire body. They’d kissed plenty of times before, but this time was unlike anything she’d ever experienced with him. She gladly accepted every urgent swipe of her tongue, meeting his urgency with eagerness of her own.
They kissed long, hard and for what felt like an eternity. Then reality kicked in. Tressa jerked away from his addictive mouth. A look of pure desperation flashed across Roth’s face.
Tressa laughed for the first time in far too long. “Work.” She laughed again, this time at the ridiculous timing of her words.
Roth’s brow furrowed. “What?”
“I have to get to work.”
The pained expression slid from Roth’s face. A second later he scooped her into his arms. “You’re going to be a few minutes late.”
“If I’m late again, I’m going to be in the unemployment line.”
Roth carried her toward the house. “Then you can focus on opening your own culinary studio. Or be a stay-at-home mom.”
Tressa’s jaw fell open, but she couldn’t find her words.
“Keys,” he said, climbing the stairs.
Unscrambling her brain, she said, “Somewhere on the ground.”
A minute later they pushed through the front door. Roth slammed the door shut and pinned her against it. Again, his mouth claimed hers, but only for a short time. With urgency, he snatched her shirt over her head, then her bra came off. Untying the strings of her scrub pants, he pushed them down over her hips. Pressing his body firmly against hers.
“You feel that?” he asked against her mouth.
“Yes. And I want it.”
A sexy sound rumbled in his chest seconds before he snaked a hand down her panties. He massaged her slowly, gently. Intense moans rolled past her lips.
Roth kissed her gently on the lips. “Tell me you love me more than any other man walking the face of the earth and that you always will.”
Did he really expect her to form a sentence? As good as his hand felt between her legs, all she could do was moan.
“Say it, baby. Please. I need to hear it. I desperately need to hear it.”
“I…” The tingling sensations of an orgasm stalled her words. “I love you…more than any…”
“Any other man,” they said in unison.
“Walking the face of the earth, and I always… I always will. Oh, God!”
The orgasm nearly crippled her, shattering her into a thousand pieces of useless matter. Her knees buckled, and she fell against Roth’s solid chest. Scooping her into his arms, he carried her to the bedroom, laying her partially on the bed, and finished removing her clothing. Dropping to his knees in front of her, he claimed her core with his mouth. It wasn’t long before another powerful orgasm overtook her.
Like lightning, Roth rid himself of his clothing, blanketed her body with his and drove himself into her, hard and deep. Tressa cried out in pure ecstasy. He delivered wild, delicious strokes that fogged her brain. It felt good. It felt so good.
“Don’t stop, Roth.”
Roth pinned her legs back and drove into her even harder. “Woman, don’t ever make me suffer without you again.”
Jesus, it felt so good. “Okay.”
Roth growled a primal sound, his body trembling. A beat later he throbbed inside her, sending her over the edge once again. Delivering four or five more lumbering strokes, he collapsed onto her. Their heaving chests rose and fell in tandem. Roth’s sweat-silken forehead wet the crook of her neck and his labored breath tickled her skin.
“That was…amazing,” she said.
Roth raised his head, eyeing her with admiration. “You’re amazing. Are we good, baby? I mean, really good?”
Tressa smoothed a hand down the side of his face. “We’re good. Really, really good.”
Finally wrangling herself from Roth’s arms, Tressa darted into the bathroom, took the fastest shower she’d ever taken, threw on her bra and panties and barreled from the room. “I’m so—”
She stopped so suddenly, she nearly toppled over. Her jaw dropped, staring at the bed. “Roth?” she said, scanning the room for him. Taking a few steps closer to the bed, she rested a trembling hand over her mouth, while the other pressed into her quivering stomach.
Tressa reached for the black box sitting in the center of the bed, withdrew as if it would bite her, then reached for it again. Popping the top, she gasped at the huge diamond ring inside. Her hands trembled so badly, she nearly dropped the box.
“I want to spend my life with you, Tressa Washington.”
She turned to see a fully dressed Roth standing behind her. How did he keep sneaking up on her like that?
“I want to share with you my hopes, my dreams, my ups, my downs, my fails, my successes. I want to share it all with you.”
Somehow, her brain formed a sentence. “You want to marry me?” She wasn’t sure if it had been a comment or a question.
“Yes. I was supposed to do this the night we…” His words trailed off. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, Tressa. But the one thing I got right was falling in love with you.”
Her eyes clouded with tears at his sweet words. Falling in love with him was something she’d got right, too.
Roth claimed the black box and removed the ring. “I know this is probably not the most ideal moment, but…” He lowered to one knee. “Tressa Nycole Washington, will you marry me? I’ll make you happy, baby. I’ll make you so happy.”
Tressa half sobbed, half laughed. “I’m in my underwear, Roth. But yes! Yes, yes, yes, a hundred times. I’ll marry you.”
Roth slid the ring on her finger, stood, hoisted her into his arms and kissed the past few weeks without him away. Pulling back, he said, “You should probably call to let someone know you won’t be in today and possibly tomorrow, either. We have lost moments to make up for.”
“Forty-eight hours is an awful lot of time. What do you have in mind, Mr. Lexington?”
“Well, soon-to-be Mrs. Lexington—” he kissed the ring on her finger “—I plan to spend all of that time reminding you how it feels to soar.”
Oh, she didn’t need a reminder. “I remember. In fact, I’m soaring on love at this very moment.” But she’d make the call anyway, because the idea of spending the next forty-eight hours, plus the rest of her life in his arms, was too damn tempting to pass up.