TRUST

LANEY FLIPPED ON the headlights to see through the pitch black night. She was now the one in the driver’s seat, with Deacon next to her and Silas in the back with Amber.

“How am I doing?” Laney asked. “It’s been over a decade since I last drove one of these.”

“You’re doing fine,” Deacon answered. “Just let me know if you get tired. I don’t mind taking over for a bit.”

“I’m good for now. After we drop you off, I’ll be the only one driving. It’s good to get some practice.”

“You’re not going to teach the girl?”

Amber leaned forward. “Yeah, I want to learn.”

“Not right away,” Laney said. “But eventually.”

“Good,” Deacon said. “You should teach her. It’s a good skill to have. With a car, you can get just about anywhere you want.”

Amber swiped her arm across her forehead, wiping off a layer of sweat. “I just want to get away from this heat.”

“Right,” Laney agreed. “We’ll drop the two of you off and head north.”

“Don’t go too far north,” Deacon said. “Snow can be a hassle.”

Amber’s eyes lit up. “I’ve never seen snow in real life before. Is it as fluffy as it looks in the pictures?”

“Snow can be beautiful in the right setting,” Laney said, “but Deacon’s right. The novelty wears off fast when you’re trying not to freeze to death. I’ll take a heat wave over a blizzard any day.”

“What about you, Marsh?” Amber asked. “What are you going to do after New Valley? Surely, you won’t stay with Silas. Riley and the other simmies would never let that happen.”

Deacon rubbed the stubble on his chin. “Hmm, I haven’t really thought about it much. I guess the plan was to stay at the border. I can scavenge supplies from there. I hear they have a boatload of stuff in New Valley.”

“Or you could come with us,” Amber said.

Laney nodded. “That’s right. We have plenty of room. This car seats five.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Deacon said.

Amber slumped back in her seat. “Why not?”

Deacon stared into the night, looking past the glow of the headlights.

“Why not?” Laney repeated, waiting for a response. “Deacon? What’s wrong?”

They followed his eyes to a man standing along the side of the road in the distance. Shrouded by darkness, his only distinguishable feature was a single luminescent stripe on his shirt. He waved his arms over his head to get their attention. Laney slowed down and parked a few hundred feet short.

“Why are we stopping?” Deacon asked. There was a waver in his voice. “Don’t stop.”

The man started walking toward them.

“He needs our help,” Laney said. “We have an extra seat. Amber, scoot over.”

Deacon turned and pointed his finger. “Don’t move, Amber. We’re not picking this guy up.”

“He’s stranded in the middle of the desert,” Laney argued. “We can’t just leave him.”

“We don’t know who he is. He could be dangerous. He could be another Joe Hannigan, for all we know.”

“He could be another Deacon Marsh,” Laney retorted.

“And you knocked me unconscious the first time we met. It was the right move then, and it’s the right move now. He could throw us out and steal the car. He could kill us.”

“You’re too paranoid, dude,” Amber said.

“I’m not paranoid,” Deacon said, his face turning red. “I’m practical. Please, just listen to me and keep on driving.”

The man started to jog, now well-lit by the glaring headlights. “Excuse me,” he said, waving his arms.

Laney rolled down her window.

“What are you doing?” Deacon asked.

“I’m helping him.”

“The world is not against us,” Amber said.

“That’s right, Amber. And we can’t assume this man is, either.”

Deacon balled his hands into fists as the man got closer. “We absolutely can assume he’s against us, and in the interest of our well-being, we should do exactly that. Silas, back me up here.”

Silas watched the man jog closer. “I don’t know. He could be friendly.”

Deacon hit his fist on the dashboard. “Screw this.” He shifted the gear into drive, grabbed the passenger’s side steering wheel, and slammed on the gas. The motor revved, and the car shot forward.

“What the hell?” Laney yelled, fumbling for the wheel.

The man stopped in the middle of the road, staring into blinding headlights. His head slammed into the windshield. The glass cracked, and a blotch of blood splattered across the front of the car. Laney slammed on the brakes, bringing them to an abrupt stop. The body slid off the hood and scraped across the rough pavement.

Deacon unbuckled and leaned forward to look out the windshield. Laney groaned, rubbing her forehead. There was a small cut where she had bumped the steering wheel. Amber and Silas both unbuckled and opened their doors.

“Shut the door,” Deacon said. “Stay in the car.”

They did as he said without question.

The man’s body was sprawled on the ground, his face pressed into the pavement and a red path leading from the car to his carcass. The impact from the windshield had caved in his skull.

“Oh my god!” Laney said, fumbling with her seatbelt. She unbuckled herself, swung open her door, and dashed to the front of the car.

“Wait!” Deacon said. He scrambled out to go after her.

“Oh my god!” she said again, pacing around the body. “What did I do?” She turned to Deacon. “What did you do?”

“I couldn’t let you pick him up. We have no idea who he is.”

“So, you kill him?”

“I just wanted to drive away, but the damn idiot stood in front of us.” He pointed to a holster around the man’s waist. “Look, he’s armed.”

“So what? We’re armed, too. Every single goddamn person is armed. That doesn’t mean you can just kill him on sight.”

“I’m looking out for the group. For Silas. For Amber. It’s like I’m the only one trying to survive.”

“You know who else was trying to survive? This man. That’s why he has a gun. That’s why he waved us down. He trusted a group of strangers because he was stranded in the middle of the desert and a small glimmer of hope came rolling up in a car.”

“He would have stolen it. Why would he keep us around?”

“Other than being a decent human being? You know those still exist, right? I mean, come on. Have a little faith in humanity.”

“You don’t think I’ve tried? I’ve given humanity a chance before, and it always disappoints. I can’t trust him. The only one I can trust is myself.”

“What about me?” She pointed to the car. “What about them? Do you trust any of us? I’ve worked so hard to show Amber that hope still exists. It’s something she needs. She can’t grow up thinking that everyone’s the enemy. I won’t let that happen. It’s no way to live. I have to show her that it’s okay to trust others.”

“Trust?” Deacon yelled. “Do you want to know what trust gets you? It gets you this.” He pulled down the neck of his shirt to reveal a scar on his chest. “And this.” There was another on his stomach. A third on his shoulder. A fourth on his leg. “Trust gets you punched and stabbed and shot. Trust is the reason billions of people are dead. The clunkers didn’t trust us, but we sure as hell trusted them. That’s why every single person you’ve ever loved is gone. Trust is a parasite. It burrows into your brain and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy just long enough to screw you over. We all know it’s true, but for some stupid reason we never learn. It must be engrained in our fricking DNA.”

His face was red hot, and his chest was puffing in and out. He slouched his head to look at the body. Tears stained his cheeks.

Laney did not respond. She only stared in silence. Deacon could see the switch flip in her head. She was finally realizing what he really was. A broken man. Life had tossed him around, and he could no longer endure the burden. He was a man with beliefs that contradicted her own and threatened the lessons she had hoped to teach Amber.

There were no words to say. They would never agree.

“We should go,” Laney muttered.

Deacon nodded.

They returned to the car, steered around the body, and drove off…in complete silence.