Everyone wants to be pretty. But to be amazing and special is about so much more than just your looks. It takes style, substance, kindness, and confidence. It takes understanding and then loving who you are. The world is a melting pot. Everybody’s got a story—becoming comfortable with your own is the challenge. It’s something you need to learn. Whether you are tall, small, a celebrity, or a sister, I want you to celebrate the qualities that make you unique. They are what inspire me. They should inspire you, too.
When Lauren was a kid, she didn’t like being tall. Really tall. “In the playground, I could grab the monkey bars without even stretching,” says Lauren, who reconsidered her feelings on her height after getting into sports around the fourth grade. “After I realized I could use my height to my advantage, I began to appreciate it more,” she says. Lauren definitely took full advantage of her 5 feet 11 inches: the high school senior is headed to college to play basketball.
Sports helped Lauren feel better about her body type, and so did America’s Next Top Model, which she says “made being tall cool.” But sometimes she’s still not totally confident. “Because I’m an athlete, I’m bigger than most girls. Sometimes I get insecure in a bathing suit,” she admits. “I feel big.”
To keep walking tall, she surrounds herself with people who don’t judge her. That includes her boyfriend, who is an inch shorter than Lauren. “I feel so comfortable with my boyfriend that height is not an issue,” she says. It did become an issue, however, when prom rolled around. After a lot of shoe shopping, Lauren settled on a pair of strappy, black patent leather Prada shoes with a thick four-inch heel that would put her five inches above her guy. “My boyfriend said, ‘Don’t wear them,’” Lauren remembers. “But I didn’t listen to him. I thought, ‘I’ll look so hot.’ I’m such a diva.” In the end, Lauren took off her heels within the first ten minutes of prom. “Not because of my boyfriend,” she laughs. “But because they were so uncomfortable.”
That’s me. Small. Petite. However you want to put it. I have struggled my whole life to accept that I’m only 5 feet tall. I feel so much bigger. Maybe it’s my outsize personality (or maybe it’s just the platforms I wear whenever possible). All I know is that certain beauty role models I have make being a shorty much easier to take. I’ve been a longtime fan of Natalie Portman, who wears her small stature with such grace that it’s astonishing. But Natalie’s super-slim, and I’m not. Scarlett Johansson is a great model for me. At 5 feet 2 inches, she’s got a couple inches over me, however, we share the same womanly curves. Scarlett owns her body and celebrates her shape with flattering pencil skirts and old-Hollywood bodices. The fashion world has also found a new love of breasts and hips with Scarlett: she’s landed some of the biggest fashion ad campaigns around. There’s a positive beauty role model out there for every size of woman. Find a star, athlete, or singer with your body type whom you admire when you need some personal encouragement.
Aviva can be pretty critical about her own looks: she’ll complain about her pale skin (although pale is beautiful: think Gwyneth Paltrow). Her younger sister Hannah doesn’t see any of that. “She’s beautiful. She’s my sister,” Hannah says. It’s a mutual admiration society here. Aviva thinks Hannah has “the most fantastic smile. She really exudes happiness.” A big part of Hannah’s happiness comes from the support she gets from her sister in everything from encouragement to clothes. “When I’m away, she calls my room the Aviva store,” Aviva laughs. “I come home to find her wearing all my clothes.” Hannah might crib from Aviva’s style, but Aviva’s taking a page from her sister’s resilience. “She goes to school every day and faces mean kids, who tease her. The fact that she still goes back every day is inspiring,” says Aviva, who admires her sister’s “willingness to accept people no matter how they treat her. She is always the bigger person.”
Shontelle and Kat have a lot in common. They have wanted to be singers ever since they can remember. “You know when babies are born, and they pat them to cry. They patted me and I sang,” says Kat, who grew up in the Dominican Republic. Shontelle, who is from Barbados, was inspired by The Little Mermaid—“I wanted a voice that was in such demand that the wicked witch would want to steal it.”
Both girls have also succeeded in breaking into the really tough business of entertainment. “I’m the dreamer type of girl who thinks there is nothing I can’t accomplish,” Kat gives as the reason she’s made it. “You have to dream big, no matter where you come from.”
Now that the singers are stars, Shontelle says, “Life is very different. You have a lot less free time, privacy, and sleep. But a lot more attention.” Some of that attention—like having a hit single—is good. And some of it—like vicious rumors on the Internet—is terrible. Criticism “hurts every time,” says Shontelle, who will send out a message on Twitter whenever she feels down. “Then my real fans come out to cheer me up. There are a million people who love you for every one who hates you.” Or she’ll call her mom for a lesson in tough love.
Kat agrees that you need strong people, including your family, around to keep you grounded. She relies on her mom and sisters to tell her when an outfit doesn’t look right or someone she thinks is really cool isn’t all that. Whatever bumps she encounters, Kat feels blessed for her career. But she gives the most credit to working hard. “I don’t know if I believe in luck,” she says. “Luck is just preparing yourself for the perfect moment.”
Seta is used to standing out. Her mother’s Armenian, and her dad is a mix of African American, Cherokee, and Irish. So no one can ever place her striking and unusual features. “I’ve gotten Egyptian, Hispanic, Asiatic. I like that people don’t know what I am,” Seta says. “I like to hear where people think I’m from. They usually think I’m more exotic than I am.”
Already a head-turner, Seta started causing whiplash when she shaved off all her hair. “I used to have chin-length hair and straight bangs,” she says. “It was time for a change.” Hello! Most people would choose to get highlights, not go bald. “I was a little nervous, but with hair I like to be different,” Seta explains.
She’s not as confident in every area of her life: “I’m a very anxious person. I get insecure about my body sometimes, because I’m a dancer, and being thinner is just easier.” Cutting off all her hair (and all the compliments she’s received) has made her bolder. “I always wanted to do it, and I finally found the courage.”
Grammy Award winner Estelle has always made the most of what she has. Even when she was just a skinny kid growing up in London, she loved fashion but had to settle for “a lot of hand-me-downs from my brother, cousins, and everyone.” That didn’t stop her from looking great. “I would customize and make it work,” she says. “I paid close attention to my auntie’s magazines. I was the kid pointing out the most expensive YSL dress, saying, ‘When I grow up …’”
The R&B singer-songwriter and producer wasn’t wrong. She has grown up to wear designer clothes, like Yves Saint Laurent, and hit the top of her profession. Despite how different her life is now, some things have stayed the same since she was a kid, including her obsession with reading and listening to music. “I used to sleep with books under my pillow, which my mum would rotate,” she says.
Estelle credits her mom with influencing her on much more than just her reading. “My mum instilled in me that it’s not what you look like; it’s what your heart is like,” she says. “You could be the best-looking girl in school and end up a mess.” That philosophy has helped her when the limelight’s glow grows harsh. For example, when a blog talks about the lines in her forehead, she focuses on “what have I done to maintain being a nice person versus what Botox I can get.”
When she really needs a pick-me-up, Estelle can always turn to her surefire method for feeling beautiful, which is “being in my underwear on a Saturday afternoon, dancing around my house to music I listened to growing up.”
The first feature Joan notices when she looks at other people is their skin. That’s because as someone who suffers from chronic acne, she battles with accepting her own. “You try everything out there—doctors, prescriptions, treatments, over-the-counter products, what people recommend, your own concoctions and formulas,” she says. “And at the end of the day, you notice a new zit on your face.” After spending so much time, money, and energy, Joan used to find a new breakout completely disheartening. “I use to ask myself over and over, ‘Why me? Why do I have such terrible skin? What am I doing wrong?’ I would get depressed and not want to go out. I would make myself feel miserable because I didn’t like the way my skin looks,” Joan explains.
Although she still has acne flare-ups, these days her emotions are under control. Joan has come to realize that no one is scrutinizing her skin the way she is. Sure, she doesn’t look her best when she’s got pimples, but they are gone in a few days. “It’s not permanent,” Joan says. When a blemish appears, she copes with it by staying away from the mirror, pretending it’s not there, taking a breath, and reminding herself, “It’s only temporary.” She can also take heart that lots of people, even the world’s most beautiful actresses and powerful celebrities, have pimple outbreaks. Just check out the Proactiv commercials with Vanessa Williams, Jessica Simpson, and P. Diddy talking about their bad skin!
Joan also works hard to remind herself, “It doesn’t matter how your skin looks. What matters is on the inside. That’s what people notice and will remember you for.” That’s pretty deep. “Beauty lies within,” Joan says. “We all age and change, but our personality and attitude are what get us through our lives.”
(clockwise from top left): Chloe has a dimple on her cheek that’s unique to her; Waltaya’s huge smile shows how beyond self-confident she is; Hannah leads an active life— and has a scar on her knee to prove it; Stephanie thinks her pink cheeks are a flaw. I think they are gorgeous.
Us girls have a love-hate relationship with standing out. We want to stand out from the crowd, have people take notice of us. But often we’re embarrassed of our distinguishing features. Things that are extreme and not of the norm—freckles, strong noses, really red hair, really blond hair, really black hair—are where I find beauty.
Every single girl wants to be someone else in some way. I have never met a girl who wouldn’t want to trade something about her appearance. Usually, they pick those quirky or interesting features that make them an individual. But when you get older, you see that those traits set you apart, especially if you can work them. Turquoise jewelry dazzles when set against a backdrop of black hair. Ivory skin goes from deathly pale to wonderfully romantic with a swath of pink blush. You get it.
I’m not saying you are going to love every single part of yourself. Everyone’s got insecurities. I have seen the most gorgeous girls with the greatest bodies and terrible skin. Or women with amazing eyes and limp hair. But when you find yourself criticizing an aspect of your appearance, take another look. Is it really a liability? Or is it an asset waiting to be discovered?
Don’t minimize your unique characteristics. Learn to become comfortable with them by making the most of them. Whether they are features you were born with, like coloring or bone structure, or ones you’ve acquired for your health, like glasses or braces, or even ones you’ve chosen, like a piercing, you need to make the best of what you’ve got. Have fun figuring out what makes you special.
Rarely do you find a girl who says, “Look at my awesome braces.” These are a temporary inconvenience on the road to gorgeousness. The most important element in looking great in your braces is your attitude. You can either wear them with a scowl or a smile (come on, with teeth is fine).
So when you get down about your metal mouth, remember you have braces for a reason. You are lucky your parents got them for you (they are expensive!). Don’t forget to wear your rubber bands and your night guard. This is just a moment in time. So you have braces? It’s better than crooked teeth.
Okay, now a few beauty pointers when it comes to braces: your lips are probably very dry, so lip gloss and lip balm are way better for you right now than other lip formulas. If you are really freaking out about your braces, or simply don’t like them, play up other areas of your face. Get some highlights in your hair or draw attention to your eyes with shimmer and a few extra coats of mascara.
I love freckles. I can’t say it enough. They just look incredible, and they age beautifully. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman with freckles and wrinkles. Actress Julianne Moore is the ultimate beauty role model when it comes to freckles. Without makeup, she radiates warmth. When she’s all glammed up for a premiere, Julianne looks so unique and fabulously gorgeous.
The challenge for girls with Julianne’s kind of complexion is finding a foundation that doesn’t cover their freckles and make them look pasty. Often, once you put a foundation on, it turns the freckle part ashy and dark. To even out your skin tone, go with a tinted moisturizer in a warm color. If it’s between two colors, always go with the darker color. You can also use a sheer foundation everywhere with a cover-up stick for specific spots around the nose.
Often, people with freckles have white or light eyebrows and eyelashes. Softly use makeup to enhance or fill in them in. A freckle-covered redhead with strong mascara, and basically nothing else except a little gloss, is one of the coolest looks around.
I have one and I love them. When I was a kid, my mom thought I should have a nose job, even though I never expressed any kind of insecurity about it. Luckily, I listened to myself and didn’t go through with it. I think my nose looks great on my face and wouldn’t change a thing about it. There are a number of actresses who have had nose jobs, and frankly, I think they all looked better beforehand. If you really hate your nose, talk to your parents and look into your options. But wait a while before you go through with anything permanent. Once you alter your nose, there is no going back. In the meantime, pick up a copy of Vogue Italia and flip through its pages to find stunning women with strong noses for a different perspective and an ego boost.
The idea that glasses are for nerds is about as current as wearing a girdle. I wear glasses a lot. Sometimes I hide behind them: if you wake up and you are having a bad beauty day, all you need to do is throw on a big pair of black glasses.
Anyone who wears glasses should look at Tina Fey if they are feeling insecure. She plays with the cliché of the funny smart girl by wearing flattering, chic glasses that come off as cool and pretty.
If you need glasses to see, the best thing to do is have a couple of different styles on hand. I know they are expensive. But if you can swing it, having a strong chunky pair and a more delicate set of frames will afford you more versatility in your outfits and general look.
When it comes to makeup, glasses magnify any product you use. The more definition you do, the more your eyes will stand out. Smudge shadow, liner, and mascara will make your eyes pop out from behind those frames.
Whatever you do, whether it’s a piercing or a tattoo, here is my big warning: It’s permanent. It’s not going anywhere. What you think is cool when you are fifteen, eighteen, or twenty is going to be with you until you are eighty years old.
Sure, tattoos can be cool—some are even beautiful. But they are forever, and as a mom, I just don’t get it. What’s a flower going to look like on eighty-year-old wrinkled skin, and what about in job interviews? My advice is, if you are going to get one, choose a spot that is pretty well hidden, at least at first. Wait until you are twenty years old, or go for a cute henna tattoo!
Yes, piercings are permanent, too. Even if you take out your nose ring, you are going to have a hole in the side of your nose for life. It is hard to realize when you are young that you are going to be any different than you are now, but you will be.
In general, I’m not a big fan of body piercing. Anyone who comes to see me for an interview with something in her or his tongue is an instant no. If I can see past it, I don’t allow them to wear it to work. It is the motherly thing in me: why did you do that to such a gorgeous face? If you have to pierce something, at least do it in a place most people don’t see. Remember, you will not always be seventeen.
Nails are a great way to experiment without a lot of emotional or financial investment. You can raid the bargain bin at the drugstore or chemist for fun and funky colors that are in right this second (hello, black, silver, or orange nail polish).
I know a lot of girls love to grow their nails long, but I still like short nails the best. They are the most modern. It is all about being clean and well-manicured. If your nail polish is chipping, it doesn’t look cool or punk. It’s just messy. If you are going to paint your nails, make sure you have nail-polish remover and big cotton balls (much better than toilet paper) to take it off when your manicure is kicked.
For a really cutting-edge look that models sometimes wear backstage at the top fashion shows, give yourself a matte manicure. Apply nail polish without a topcoat. After it dries, run a nail buffer or chamois cloth over your nails.
