The next thing that really stood out in my mind was my next birthday. The year in between them was basically spent in the subtle art of manipulation. All of the confidence Alice had been so wonderful at encouraging within me slowly ebbed away. Ollie had me doubting everything and everyone. Every decision I made was made under the first thought of, “What would Ollie think?” I was completely at his mercy and utterly under his spiteful control. He was so good at his underhanded tactics that I was blind to every one, living on the meagre scraps of affection and attention he was willing to throw my way.
“I’ve booked us a hotel room for your birthday.” Ollie grinned.
I stared at him, my eyes wide. “Really?” I smiled.
“Yes, sunshine. Really! I think you deserve it. I’ve booked us into the Europa for the evening.” He smiled down at me.
I bounced up into his arms, hugging him tightly, loving the idea of being in a fancy hotel for the evening.
“We’re going to have cocktails and a meal first, and then we’re going to enjoy some time together in our room,” he said with a devilish wink. I couldn’t wait. He was treating me like a prince for my birthday, and it was all I wanted.
I was happier than I had been for months, feeling very loved and cherished by the time we got back to the hotel. My birthday meal had been perfect. We had dined on delicious food and drank some fantastic cocktails, and it all added to the head-spinning buzz the evening was giving me. In the elevator on the way up to the room, Ollie leaned in and kissed my neck. I had been enjoying it when the lift stopped, and other people joined us in the small space. Ollie clutched at my hand, pulling it to his lips, nibbling at my knuckles.
The doors opened on our floor and Ollie pulled me quickly behind him. With no one else around, he pushed me against the wall in an alcove along the corridor. He leaned in and his lips brushed mine. A smile crept across my face, and I pushed myself back against him, wrapping my arms around him, holding onto him and letting him know just how much I wanted him.
A door opened farther down the corridor, and I pushed Ollie back, biting my lip with a blush, not wanting to be accused of being a horny teenager and kicked out, ruining the evening. Ollie grinned at me with his beautiful smile, his hand returning to mine as he pulled me along until we reached the doorway of our room. He pulled the key card from his pocket and opened the door. Pushing him back into the room, I smirked at him. I wanted him badly, and I wasn’t afraid to let him know. Just inside the door, I pushed him against the wall, and crushed my lips against his. My hands ran up his arms and laced my fingers through his hair, tugging it and angling his head back to allow me access to his neck.
He groaned when my tongue slid across the bottom of his earlobe. He tucked his hands beneath the jacket on my shoulders and started to push it down my arms. My hands fall from his hair to my sides, letting the jacket drop to the floor. I looked at him with hooded eyes full of desire. I bit my bottom lip as I slid my hands back up his sides, slipping them under his untucked shirt, teasing my fingertips over his stomach. He sucked in a breath before grabbing me, scooping me up in his arms, and taking me to the bed.
He set me on the edge of the bed, dipped his head to press his mouth against mine, and used that contact to force me back slowly, lying me out flat. He moved with me, his body covering mine, coming to rest between my thighs. I could feel his hardness against me, knowing he needed me just as much as I needed him. I lifted my hips against him, encouraging him while his tongue duelled with mine.
Ollie shifted, manoeuvring himself to support his weight with one arm, leaving his other hand free to slide my top over my body. His hands roamed over my skin, causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. I let out a low, satisfied sigh when he attached his mouth around my nipple, suckling greedily. My fingers went back into his longer locks, grabbing at his head to keep him against my chest. His hand went to my side to slide behind me and pull me against his mouth. When I moaned at the attention he was giving me, he let my nipple pop out of his mouth, grinning seductively as he did.
The rest of our clothing was mutually stripped off, and we let the buzz of the evening carry us into passion. Ollie started to make love to me sweetly, rocking me closer and closer to orgasm. My tipsy high was swarmed with pre-climatic bliss as Ollie flipped me, rolling me to my stomach and positioning himself back between my legs.
“God, sunshine, you’re always so needy for me,” he said as he rubbed the slickness of the end of the condom over my ass. I grinned against the pillow and moaned salaciously as he rubbed over my asshole. “Mmmm, you’re going to love this, Josh,” he purred against my ear as I heard the pop of the condom as he freed his cock from it. The tip of his cock pressed between my buttocks, seeking out my ass again. I felt the pressure as he pushed against me, followed quickly by a not-so-delicious burn as his now bare cock pressed inside me. I flinched against him and tried to lift myself on my elbows to protest, but his hands went to my wrists, and he forced them above my head. He pushed harder against my ass, trying to gain entry, but I just couldn’t. I tried to relax, but all I felt was pain, and it just made me clench tighter.
I squirmed against him, and he used his weight on top of me to hold me in such a way that my face was in the pillow. I couldn’t get the movement I needed to be able to get free from him. My calls were muffled into the pillow, and I was powerless to get free.
He pulled back a little before pushing hard into my ass with a thrust. The pain tore through me, and I cried out in agony as he finally got his cock where he wanted it. Tears flooded my eyes, and I screamed out, tensing and writhing beneath him as he fucked my asshole as hard as he could manage. I felt like he was tearing me apart from the inside out. He got so lost in his own feelings and thoughts about the situation that I couldn’t make him realise what he was doing to me.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t sign up to be taken in this way: held down, rammed repeatedly until my entire ass burned with a throbbing pain that just couldn’t be ignored. I cried out more and more into the pillow, and he groaned in his own pleasure.
“Fuck, sunshine!” he grunted near my ear. “You’re so tight... Mmm, I knew you would like it bare. That’s right, Josh. Scream for me.”
I could tell he was close to his climax. He started thrusting into me hard and fast, chasing his orgasm, thinking I was writhing beneath him, screaming from the pleasure he was bringing to me, not understanding how terrified and in agony I was.
Spent, he collapsed on top of me. Hot tears scalded my cheeks. Impaled on his softening prick, I still couldn’t compel myself to get away from him. I felt sick to my stomach. I moved, and he groaned as his cock finally came free from my ass. A sob broke out of my throat, and I tried to bolt for the bathroom.
Ollie passed out; the food, the alcohol, and the ‘sex’ had clearly been all he needed to drift off into sleep. I, on the other hand, sat in the bathroom, the tears streaming down my face, the pain in my backside unbearable as I replayed what had just happened.
Had that been my fault? Had I done something to make him think I was okay with what was happening? I tried over and over to find some trace that I had made it seem to him like it was okay. Had I said ‘no’? Well, no, I hadn’t. With a mouthful of pillow and his weight on top of me, I couldn’t move enough to say the actual words ‘no’ or ‘stop’.
I felt so ashamed. His conditioning had left me thinking that this had been my fault. That this had been something I had brought upon myself.
The thoughts spiralled around and around in my head. The more I thought about it, the dirtier and more confused I felt. I lifted myself gingerly from the floor and turned on the shower, hoping the water would wash away all of the emotions I was drowning in. I stepped into the water that was just a little too warm, my skin instantly pinking in reaction to the temperature. I stood there, letting it flow over me, taking away all of my thoughts until I was numb. Once numb, I filled my hand with shower gel, and I scrubbed over every last inch of my warmed flesh. When I rinsed myself off, I could still feel Oliver against me, and I needed to start cleaning myself all over again. I got goosebumps, but not from the temperature; from the chill that crawled over my skin when I thought about the events of the evening.
Oliver Watson had just raped me. There was no other way of putting it. There was no way to dress it up as a mistake or disguise it as something else. I had given him no consent. I hadn’t wanted or welcomed his actions. I was violated in the worst way possible by someone I thought I loved; someone I thought was supposed to care about me in return. Nothing would ever be the same again.