Chapter Thirty-Five

Raven took the exit for the park where there was to be a candlelight vigil for the dead boys. And for Noe. She had run the trails of the state park many times, had been frightened by its isolation, the hiss of owls, and the dangers lurking there. But the park was one fear she could face. She parked the car and opened the driver’s-side door to the respectful murmuring of the hundreds of people in attendance. Those who didn’t have their cell phone flashlights on held lit candles in Dixie cups.

Cameron stood in a clutch of parents and other relatives of the victims at the very front of the crowd. When she reached him, she grabbed him by his skinny wrists. She dragged him behind her off to the side.

“Have you gone completely crazy?” she asked him.

“What are you talking about?” he said. “I’m here for my son.”

“Are you sure you aren’t here for you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You never wanted a son before you found out you had one. Now that he’s missing, you can get on with your life. Not caring about anything but yourself. You sure you’re not here celebrating instead of mourning?”

“You ain’t right, Raven. All you doing since he went missing is telling me how much I’m fucking up.”

She stuck her finger in his face. He knocked her hand away like he used to do when they were kids.

“Get your fucking finger out of my face.”

“You did screw up. Your son missing three days and you don’t even know it. And you’re still screwing up. Running around here like you know he’s dead….”

“He is dead.”

“He is not!” Raven shouted.

Several heads turned their way. Raven waited until they looked away. She said in a lower voice, “Do you think I would be out here busting my ass if I thought he was already dead?”

“So you chasing fairy tales like you always do,” Cameron said. “I’m just trying to be realistic.”

Raven let out a nasty laugh. “So this is the one time in your life that you choose to be realistic? That’s some sorry-ass timing, Cameron.”

He turned his face away from her. She thought she saw shame on it. She grabbed his chin. He hadn’t shaved since Noe went missing, and his face felt scratchy. She turned him toward her.

“You have done some dumb things in your life. But this has got to be the dumbest.”

“Why?” he said. “Everybody saying he’s dead. The chief, Breaker, even your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my blasted boyfriend,” she said. “You’re declaring Noe dead in your mind because you want to get on with things. Being a daddy is too hard on you, and now that there’s a chance you don’t have to do it anymore, you’re jumping right in.”

“You’ve always been one mean ole bitch.”

“I’m just trying to keep your skinny behind out of jail, while at the same time trying to find your son!”

She marveled at the look on his face, the surprised Cameron look as if he had just touched something unexpectedly hot. Then the look changed to one of total resignation. “Ain’t nothing going to keep me out of jail.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Look, one thing I know, if someone wants me in jail, I’ll be in jail. Ain’t no helping that.”

“There is certainly no help if you keep doing things that signal that you did have something to do with Clyde’s murder and Noe’s disappearance.”

“How am I doing that?”

“By attending this memorial service without a doggone body, you moron. Like insisting he’s already dead. Geez Louise.”

“I don’t have anything to do with Noe being gone!”

“I’m not the one you have to convince. For someone who didn’t want to leave a mark on this world you sure are making one big godawful stain.”

“You really think they’re coming for me?”

“It’s what I would do if you weren’t my brother, especially now,” she said.

“What should I do?”

“You drive here with someone, or did you take your own car?”

“I drove here with one of the other parents.”

“Go tell them you have a ride back. I’ll take you to my place.”

“Your place, why?”

“To buy time. If they show up at your place tonight to take you in, you won’t be there.”

* * *

Cameron sullenly insisted they stop at the Chicken Shack on the way to her rooms at Mama Anna’s. He ordered a chicken sandwich and fries, but Raven ordered nothing. She couldn’t imagine eating. But not Cameron. The grease-stained paper bag rattled noisily as he stuffed Cajun fries into his mouth. She looked over at him to see if the man she claimed for a brother had the face of a murderer. He just sat there, calmly licking season salt from his fingers. To Raven he looked as if he didn’t have one care in this whole wide world. What missing son? What threat of arrest? It wouldn’t have been the first time that she was this close to a killer.

“I ain’t done nothing to Noe,” he said in the quiet enclosure of the Mustang. “Or Clyde.”

“I know you didn’t,” she answered.

“I just know how to compartmentalize things better than you. If Noe’s missing, my being hungry and eating something doesn’t mean that I don’t want him home. If the police think I killed my son because I’m eating a chicken sandwich, they’re more fucked up than they already are.”

They were silent the rest of the drive to her rooms. But Raven eventually stuck her fingers into Cameron’s bag and stuffed two fries into her mouth.

She fixed a place for him on the couch. They were asleep for only a few hours before there was a pounding at the door. Raven’s Android read three a.m. Not so much bewitching hour as the perfect time to serve a warrant hour. She pulled a thin robe around her and walked into the living room. Cameron was already sitting up. He had left a table lamp on, and was now staring at the door with that look of resignation on his face. Thank God he had slept in his clothes.

“Not a word,” she warned. “Keep your mouth shut, Cameron. You hear me?”

He didn’t agree or disagree, just sat there with his eyes fastened on the door. She opened it without asking. They both knew who it was. But she was somewhat surprised that aside from Officer Spangler and Delbert Stevenson, the chief was standing there, the look on his face grave.

“He here?” Chief Sawyer asked her.

“What are you doing here?” she said, blocking the doorway.

“You need to move out of the way. I’m sorry. We have a warrant for his arrest,” Stevenson said.

“For what?” Raven asked, ignoring the apology.

“Don’t make this difficult,” Office Spangler said.

“Since you asked so nicely,” Raven responded with acid in her voice.

She stepped aside. At the sight of Cameron standing there looking like he didn’t know what to do with his hands, Stevenson drew his weapon.

“Put your hands where I can see them.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Raven said. “You can already see them.”

“Can I put my shoes on?” Cameron asked.

“Go on and do that, Cam,” Spangler said. “But I’m going to have to cuff you.”

“I understand,” Cameron said, his voice low and defeated. The loud, smack-talking Cameron had disappeared at the sight of the handcuffs.

Raven went into the bedroom. She changed so quickly that she was still zipping her jeans when she walked back into the living room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Stevenson asked.

“I’m going with my brother.”

“Look, Raven,” the chief said. “He’s just going to central booking, that’s all.”

“You really don’t think I’m that stupid, do you?”

“He’s already lawyered up. Remember the advice you gave him?” Stevenson said.

“I did,” Cameron said, his hands now cuffed. “But I’ll change my mind if you let Raven come with me. I don’t care about a lawyer. I just want to find Noe.”