I SIT ALONE IN the lobby at the Pennsylvania Branch of the EEA. Thanksgiving turned out to be a lot of fun. I hung out with Rynne all day. At the end of the day, he told me we should meet up in the mornings from now on. I couldn’t say no to that.
Rynne…
He’s always so calm and collected no matter what happens. He’s always been a little reserved, too. That’s why I was so shocked the day I saw him kissing a girl. It seemed… so out of character. That kiss plays in the back of my mind sometimes. I hate it. I have to remind myself that I’m just happy Rynne’s here. I shouldn’t be, but I am. This new life, this life I knew but didn’t know, is scary. I feel safe when I’m with him. He’s always been the kind of guy that would stick up for the underdog. It’s his heart I first fell in love with. He was kind and open with me when he moved to Reverie, almost like he knew me before and was greeting an old friend. We didn’t even need an icebreaker because we became friends so easily. Didi and Connor took the initiative in becoming my friends, too. I’ve been lucky that way. My shyness hasn’t stopped me from having wonderful friends.
Didi and Connor… I wonder how they’re doing. We’ve texted back and forth, slowly. I haven’t had much time to give to them. I’ve been too busy, and it’s been too hard. I can’t talk to them about anything I’m doing, not even school. They’d wonder why I’m not going to school, and why I’m working my butt off to graduate early.
“Here bright and early,” Rynne says as he takes a seat beside me.
“You can thank Fiona for that,” I reply. “Just because she gave you a room in the base doesn’t mean she gave me one.”
“That’s because she wants you to actually leave this place once in a while.” He brings his hands together on his lap and sits up tall. “So, today you learn more about your sixth sense, right?”
“That’s right. Taking a break from monsters and spending some quality time with Divya to dive into the world of psychics. It sounds like I’ll be taking these classes alone. She said we’re the only two with any kind of psychic ability in this branch, and I guess specialized classes wouldn’t be much use for anyone who isn’t psychic.”
“It’s a rare gift.”
“I always thought it was a curse.” I unconsciously play with the heart-shaped black diamond hanging around my neck. “Well, I don’t know what I thought exactly. I just knew it was scary, so my parents helped me learn how to… ignore it, I guess. I mean, they taught me about spirits as much as they taught me about every other kind of supernatural thing, but they didn’t share my gift. Honestly, we all just kind of tried to ignore it. We tried so many ways to get rid of it, but my black diamond is the only thing that ever worked to keep the ghosts away. Since it’s been shielding me, I haven’t had to worry about ghosts.”
“Are they that scary?”
“Have you ever talked to a ghost?” I search his eyes, but his expression holds neutral.
“No. I can’t say that I have. I have exorcised a man possessed by a spirit, however.” He offers me his perfect, always controlled smile. “I don’t have a sixth sense, though.”
“Yeah, I guess you don’t have to have a sixth sense to know ghosts are there, especially when it comes to powerful spirits that work to make themselves known. The spirits that came to me were always just lost souls, but there were so many of them. And even lost souls can be scary. All spirits of the dead who stick around want something. That’s the reason why they’re still here. Once a spirit’s business is concluded, they move on.”
“Move on to where?” Rynne asks in a somehow distant voice.
“Heaven or hell, I guess.”
“What have your parents taught you about heaven and hell?”
I look at my hands. I start fidgeting with my nails, one of my many nervous habits. “A little bit of everything. My parents didn’t believe in one religion. They said there’s a little bit of truth in all of them.”
“I see.”
“What about you?”
Rynne shakes his head slightly. “Divya’s here.”
I look up from my hands to see her enter the lobby. She catches sight of me right away and gestures for me to join her.
“I’m really nervous,” I admit as I stand up. My hands are curled into fists at my sides.
“Don’t be.” Rynne stands up beside me and takes my left hand. He gently parts my fingers. He somehow releases all the tension I’m feeling when he does it. He lets his palm rest against mine for a moment before he speaks again. “You’ll do fine.”
I want to hold on to his hand when he turns away from me and waves, but I don’t. I just wave back.
“See you later,” I call after him.
He looks over his shoulder, smiling. Then we go our separate ways.
I follow Divya into one of the smaller classrooms I’ve been in before. It seems huge now though, with only the two of us here to occupy it. The built-in benches are arranged in a half circle, all pointing to a Smart Board at the front of the room.
I take a seat on the front-row bench, in the middle, while Divya gets prepared.
“We’ll start your training off with a lecture,” she says.
Unsure if I should raise my hand or not, I decide to stay on the safe side and do just that.
“It’s just the two of us, Tasia. There’s no need to raise your hand. If you have a question, go ahead and ask it.”
My cheeks flush their normal shade of embarrassment. “I’ve already looked through the EEA database. I’m pretty sure I’ve been through all files concerning psychics.”
“While that’s extremely ambitious of you, we still have to go over this information together. There are things that aren’t open information in the EEA database. You’d need a password to gain access to them—unless you’re a hacker, perhaps. Are you a hacker, Tasia?”
“N-no!” I sputter.
She laughs. “Only kidding. However, because you are so studious, and because your parents prepared you for this in many ways, these lecture portions will likely go by much quicker than they would otherwise.”
Divya looks at me thoughtfully. She’s wearing a beautiful sari in the colors of pink and yellow today. She always stands out among the other hunters all wearing workout clothes or the black armor they wear when they go out on missions. Divya doesn’t go on missions—usually. Her jobs all revolve around the base.
She remarks, “I hope you’ve been keeping up on your school work as well.”
“I have,” I tell her. “Fiona and I made a deal. I intend to graduate as soon as possible.”
She shakes her head, but she’s smiling. I wait in silence as Divya brings up an image she wants to discuss. We start with the basics.
“So, what is a sixth sense, Tasia?”
“It depends on the individual, but having a sixth sense just means you’re unusual. The general term psychics is often used to describe those with a sixth sense because we have supernatural powers. Those powers can manifest in vastly different ways. For example, you and I have a connection to the spirits of the dead. And I knew an aura reader back in Reverie.”
“Correct,” Divya says with a nod, “and as you know, some abilities are hard to control. Not only those of us who can see spirits have difficulty with control. People who are gifted at psychometry, for example, can’t often control when they’ll read the history of an object simply by touching it. That’s why psychics are avid users of gemstones and crystals. They can help control what we cannot.”
I play with the heart-shaped black diamond around my neck.
“Yes,” she notes, “your black diamond has been a fantastic protection against spirits for you. In fact, I’ve never heard of a crystal as powerful as yours. Fiona told me all about it. You should be extremely protective of that black diamond, Tasia. As far as I can tell, no other crystal could ever replace it.”
I nod.
“So our strength lies with spirits, but just because we’re in tune with the spirits of the deceased doesn’t mean we’re the only ones who can perceive them. Certain types of spirits will make themselves known no matter who they are dealing with.”
“Like poltergeists,” I say.
“Yes, like poltergeists, or any other number of assertive or malevolent spirits. Luckily, there are a larger number of passive spirits than there are assertive. However, just because a spirit is assertive doesn’t automatically mean it’s harmful. Just because we have a sixth sense that allows us a closer connection to these spirits than others doesn’t mean we are better equipped to fight off malevolent spirits. Often, that’s a job better left for an exorcist. We are mediums, a neutral force that spirits can reach out to.
“Those with a sixth sense to see spirits can be invaluable to the EEA. If we mediums leave ourselves open to passing spirits, any spirit can command our attention. However, when we go to the site of a murder, or sometimes if we have a picture or any information at all of a particular murder victim in mind, we are more likely to call out to a specific spirit instead. Calling upon the soul of someone who has been killed by the supernatural often gives us leads we’d never be able to find otherwise. More often than not, we can connect to these kinds of spirits, because those who had their lives cut short at the hands of someone or something else hardly ever move on until their murderer is brought to justice.”
I ask, “What happens if we can’t find the victim even after calling out to them? Does that really mean they’ve just moved on and we’ll never get any answers?”
“It may or may not. Sometimes we simply have a harder time getting in touch with a spirit. It doesn’t necessarily mean that spirit has moved on.”
I hold out my black diamond. “Is there no way to block out spirits ourselves, without the use of a gemstone or crystal?”
“We can learn to block spirits out to some degree, but we all must sleep, and in sleep we’re vulnerable.”
I tuck my crystal inside of my shirt so I can feel it against my skin. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like up until this point if I had been bombarded by spirits all the time like when I was a kid. Honestly, I don’t think I would have survived this long. Then again, if I had been more receptive to the spirits around me, would they have told me of the danger that was coming? Could I have prevented my parents’ deaths? Could I have called back my parents’ spirits instead of blacking out like I did? I quiver as the memory creeps up on me and then slides away again into darkness. Then the images in my head turn to Arsen. Arsen. Always Arsen. I clench my hands so tightly my skin turns white.
I decide to ask, “If we allow ourselves to always be receptive, would the spirits around us warn us of dangers to come? Could I have… Could I have saved my parents? Could I have called their souls back?”
Divya’s face falls. “No, Tasia. Don’t even think like that. Spirits are unpredictable. You can’t always be receptive. Your black diamond is a lifesaver for you. Keep it with you always, and never blame yourself for your parents’ death. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Do you think I might be able to find their spirits even though their bodies were cremated? Do you think I can find them even though you couldn’t?” I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “I just miss them so much.”
“It’s possible, but it would be best not to obsess over that slim possibility. Your parents loved you, and even if you don’t see them again in this life, that will never change.”
“How did yesterday go?” Rynne asks as I take a seat beside him on the bench.
“I don’t know. I don’t feel like I got anywhere. I need to practice being a medium. I’d be making a lot more progress if we were doing that instead of lectures,” I tell him, exasperated. “I know it’s important to know all of this stuff about safety and how everything works before we dive into it and actually do something, but that’s why I researched everything I could before. I’m moving too slow, Rynne.”
I can feel tears stinging at my eyes, but I refuse to cry. I can’t cry. It’s not going to help anything, and I’ve done way too much of it lately.
Rynne wraps his right arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, offering me a hug.
“You’re doing the best you can, Tasia,” he says. “You can’t expect to speed things up any more than you already have.”
“But what about you? You’re doing so much more than I am. I’ve learned a ton, but Fiona won’t send me out on missions. I feel so useless.”
Rynne wipes a stray tear from my face and holds me away from him so he can meet my gaze. “I’ve been preparing myself for this a lot longer than you have. Just because I’m a new member of the EEA doesn’t mean I’m new to hunting. You know that already.”
I gape at him. “You’re only seventeen, though. Just how long have you been doing this?”
“I suppose it would be about three years.” He wipes away another of my escaped tears. “I know you don’t want to wait, but this takes time, and it’s better to do things the right way than to lose your life over being hasty. Isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.”
He insists, “You do know. If you rushed in, if you found Arsen, or even any other monster out there right now, do you really think you’d be able to kill them on your own? Hunting on your own is extremely dangerous. Blade isn’t going to send you out on any missions until she feels like you can hold your own and be an asset to a team. She isn’t making you wait to punish you. She’s doing what’s best for everyone. You seem to keep forgetting that you aren’t alone.”
“How can you be so calm? Don’t you just feel so angry about what happened to your family?” I ask.
Then I think to myself: I am alone. No one else is plagued by thoughts and feelings for Arsen that are completely infuriating. I know they aren’t. They wouldn’t be so calm if they were. Arsen is constantly on my mind. He’s so often on my mind I feel like I’m losing it. I’m obsessed with him, but I don’t quite understand what that obsession means. Hate. Anticipation. Curiosity.
“It isn’t easy, Tasia, but it doesn’t help to let yourself be consumed by revenge. Revenge can become a poison. Think of it as justice instead. You’re doing this for more, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know if I am or not.”
Rynne places his hands on either side of my face, a gentle and comforting touch as he looks into my eyes. “I do. I know you’re doing this for more. You’ve always been kind. You still are. Bad things have happened, but they haven’t changed you. They haven’t changed who you are.”
I take a deep breath. “I want to make the world a safe place for everyone else, too. I do. For Didi, Connor, Wyatt… everyone back in Reverie. I don’t want anything else bad to happen in Reverie ever again. I wish bad things didn’t happen at all.”
Rynne brings his hands back to his sides, but he keeps his eyes locked on mine. “Always keep sight of the light, and you won’t be lost.”
Days go by and my classes with Divya continue. I’ve caught up on a lot of school work as well, but my thoughts of Arsen never go away. I mean, there are breaks. When I’m learning with Divya or when I’m focusing on something other than Arsen and what he took from me, I’m almost free of him.
Just when I think I might be able to stave off the terrible feelings he stirs inside of me, it’s time for me to walk home. It’s like I can feel him eerily close to me when I’m not inside of the base. It’s like his eyes are searing holes into the back of my head when I’m at Fiona’s apartment or anywhere at all outside of the base. The feeling has only been growing more intense. No matter how hard I try to distract myself from thoughts of him outside of the base, I just can’t shake this feeling. He’s become more than a constant. He’s an incessant pounding in my skull.
“Tasia, are you listening?” Divya asks.
I shake my head of all the thoughts circling around in my mind. I haven’t been listening much at all today, but I don’t want her to know that. “Y-yes.”
“Should we take a break?”
“No, please continue.”
Divya eyes me, and then she continues. “As I was saying, we want to keep you as safe as possible when we’re dealing with spirits. The spirits of those who have been murdered can often be overwhelming. I’ll have you practice being receptive to the spirits around you when we start putting all of these theories and studies into practice. You’ll single one of those spirits out and listen to what they want to tell you. Remember to continue practicing your meditation. It’s the key to all of this. You can’t push it aside just because it’s hard. It’s imperative. Understood?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I suppose that’s all for today, then—unless you have questions?”
I shake my head and then I gather my backpack, full of just as much actual homework as it is hunter homework. I’m about to leave the room when Divya remarks, “Oh, I almost forgot. Fiona told me to tell you to go ahead and walk back home on your own today. She’s going to be late.”
“I don’t mind,” I say too quickly.
“Trust me, you don’t want to stay here waiting for her. She’s going to be a while.”
The truth is I do want to stay here waiting for her, but I don’t want to explain why. I know it’s just my anxiety coming to a head. I’ve lived with this my whole life. I mean, come on. If Arsen really has been watching me this whole time, why wouldn’t he have come out and attacked me yet? And what about Rynne? It just doesn’t make sense. It’s all in my head. It’s just all in my head…
“Are you okay?” Divya asks.
“I’m fine,” I tell her without meeting her gaze. Then I rush out of the room.
Instead of delaying the inevitable, I leave the building and take a no-distractions approach to Fiona’s apartment. I take the quickest route I can think of, but it doesn’t help. The sensation of someone watching me—of Arsen watching me—blasts into me like an intense heatwave as soon as I step foot out of the base.
Shivering, I hug my arms around me and walk with purposeful steps. I try not to let my mind run wild with thoughts about all the warehouses on this private land. I try not to think of the possibility of monsters lurking inside of them. I know this land is the safest place in Philadelphia, but it doesn’t feel like it.
It takes everything I have not to just run back home. It’s not far to walk from the base to Fiona’s apartment, but right now I wish I had a car. I wish my car hadn’t exploded back at my house. I mean, I have some items on me, charms in my pockets, a silver knife, and I’m still in the habit of drinking vervain tea. A monster, and demon, hopefully shouldn’t want to come anywhere near me. But I still feel like he’s there.
He’s watching me.