I LEFT TASIA BEHIND. That made angel was searching for her. I could have stayed and taken him out. Maybe I should have snatched Tasia and taken her away with me. My beast wanted to, It still does, but my logician insists that would be unwise.
None of that matters right now, though. Yuki’s battling at least one angel. She’s capable, but I don’t know what kind of angels have been following Tasia around. I’d rather not lose Yuki. My beast and logician both agree on that.
I home in on Yuki’s presence. Her aura is still glowing brightly, so I can at least say she isn’t dead. Quickening my pace, I move as fast as the body of my logician can manage. The closer I get, the farther away the angel presence is. The fight must be over and neither one was killed. Yuki’s immobile.
Finally, she’s in my sight. She’s leaning against one of the warehouse walls, hidden in the shadows, holding her stomach and trying to stanch the blood gushing out of it. There’s a silver sword in her hand. She must have just barely pulled it out. She discards it as I rush up to her. Her legs are trembling and she almost falls forward, but I catch her. As I support her, I bring my other hand to her back. The sword pierced all the way through her stomach. She’s healing, but the burning and lingering sensation of silver is making it painful. She’s sweating and shivering, but it won’t last much longer. She has plenty of life essence to spare, so I simply hold her.
“You should have killed her,” Yuki tells me.
She pushes against me, but I refuse to let her go. She stops fighting after a moment. She never could bring herself to fight against me for long.
Once I’m sure she’s done struggling, I pick her up and carry her away into the night. Slowly, she wraps her arms around my neck in a sort of reluctant contentment. I use the cover of night to get us back to our hotel unseen. I don’t bother with the front door and climb up the fire escape instead, entering our room through the window.
When we’re inside, I place her on the bed. I dig through our clothes and provide a blood-free set for the both of us. Yuki starts changing without a word, and I do the same. Her wound is almost completely healed now. All that’s left is a trace of a scar.
Yuki sits back down on the bed when she’s done changing. She looks at me, clearly wanting to talk.
“What?” I ask.
“What was that for?” she retorts. “You didn’t have to carry me…” Her voice trails off as she brings her gaze to the window.
“You almost got killed by an angel.”
“I had her on the run.”
“You had a silver sword pierced clean through your stomach.”
“And I had her on the run.”
I sit down on the bed beside her.
“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” she whispers.
“I know.”
“I’d kill that human for you, but you won’t let me, despite what she does to you. If that angel that attacked me is all the muscle they have around her, I could kill her. Easily. We could have killed her easily! Why didn’t we, Arsen? Why didn’t you?”
I feel the static of irritation prickling on the back of my neck, but I attempt to ignore it. “I don’t want her killed,” I say icily. “I don’t know what the angels are planning with her, but I don’t want her killed.”
Yuki turns her head away from me. “You don’t want her killed? You act as if you’re in love with her. I saw you two in there. What was that? You’ve never even laid eyes on her before until this October when we were in Reverie. You can have any human or demon you want, Arsen. Why does it have to be that one? Is she really that irresistible? And, if she is, how do the angels know that? She doesn’t seem like anything special to me. I don’t feel what you’re feeling. I don’t understand any of this.”
I don’t want to talk about this, but if I don’t say something to Yuki now, I never will. My logician urges me to explain the situation. My logician reminds me that what Yuki says is true. If I’m going to get out of this, I’ll need help because I obviously can’t do it myself. My beast won’t let me. My logician even recommends I let Yuki kill Tasia, but my beast shuts that thought down before I can dwell on it for long. Every time I’ve been confronted by Tasia, I’ve shut down. I don’t understand any of this either.
I don’t want to talk.
I move behind Yuki and wrap my arms around her. She turns her head in my direction, reacting exactly how I want her to. I plant my lips on hers as I bring my arms to her stomach, lifting the bottom of her shirt so my hands find her now completely healed, and perfectly smooth, skin underneath.
“Arsen.” I can hear in her voice that she’s trying to sound stern, but I’m making that hard for her to do. She never could resist me. “Tell me what’s going on,” she whispers the words in between kisses.
I don’t want to talk.
I kiss her more fiercely, dispelling any chance of her talking again. My logician guides my actions in anger against my inability to kill Tasia earlier. She’s the one I want to be close to. My beast takes no pleasure or part in this interaction with Yuki, but my logician knows this is what Yuki wants. She’s been wanting this and I’ve been close to non-receptive lately because this is the part of me that’s always come from my beast and my beast hasn’t been interested in anything but Tasia.
Yuki catches my face in her hands, giving herself a moment to breathe. Then she does something she’s never done with me. Maybe she senses my lack of passion. She uses force, pushing me down onto the bed so that she’s lying on top of me, in the position of power as she takes the lead. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that she’s demanding dominance or the fact that I’m allowing it. I follow her every move, giving her exactly what she wants while disregarding my own physical desires. I’ve never engaged with her like this just to provide her physical pleasure. In the end, I’m still not doing this for her.
Now I can talk. “I need your help,” I say.
“Don’t talk yet,” she replies, guiding my hands to where she wants me to touch her.
I comply and I keep my mouth shut. I suppose I owe her that much.
By the time Yuki’s had her fill, we’re both lying naked underneath the sheets. She stays close to me even after all of the sexual tension is gone. She rests her hands against my chest as I let one of my arms lazily drape across her back while absentmindedly catching her hair in my fingers.
“Just a little bit longer,” she whispers. “Stay like this.”
I kiss her lightly on the nose, but I keep my words and thoughts to myself. She snuggles up even closer to me, like she’s afraid I might disappear any moment.
“You need my help?” she eventually asks.
“Yes.” I keep my voice quiet. “I need to find the witch.”
She shudders. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t seek her out if I thought there was a better way.”
She kisses me. “Just forget about that girl and stay with me. You’ve stayed with me for the past eighty-one years. Nothing needs to change. We can continue doing what we’ve done. We can kill any angel that crosses our path. Just forget the girl.”
“You know I can’t. I’ve tried. I need you to send word for the witch while I return to Reverie.”
“You think going back to Reverie will help you?”
“It’s possible.”
Truthfully, I’m desperate. I’m not sure I’ll learn much of anything from Reverie. I’m not even sure Helena will see me, but I don’t know what else to do. I need to put this space between me and Tasia just as much as I need her near me. It’s time I did everything in my power to get answers, to break this connection—something! If I continue to stay close to her like I have been, I’m going to end up dead, and I don’t want to give the angels the satisfaction.