First things first. Turn off the music. Stop head throbbing. Find Alvin’s phone. I didn’t want to waste the charge on Mrs. Parnell’s. I looked around. Knowing Alvin, the phone would be blue or white to disappear into the decor. Eventually I found a white phone buried in the cotton clouds.
I fished the scrap of paper with Bianca’s government number out of my pocket. “You have reached the voice mail of Bianca Celestri. Please leave a message after the beep. Merci. Bonjour . . .” The message was repeated in French as per policy.
I put down the phone and copied down Celestri. So far, so good. Maybe things were looking up.
Jasmine was next. Maybe she knew who Chelsea was supposed to meet.
“Leave me alone,” she screamed as soon as I identified myself. “I’m calling the police.”
“Why? What good will that do? I didn’t hurt anyone. I just need some information from you,” I said to the dial tone.
Fine.
I crawled around Alvin’s apartment looking for a telephone book. Five minutes later, I found one, covered in blue. I had to ask myself, if Alvin had time to do this, why the hell couldn’t he update the goddam mailing lists at Justice for Victims?
There was one Celestri, B. I copied down the street address. It took a while, because my head was spinning, but so far, so good. Next, I needed to check my home messages, in case P.J. had called with something useful. But the spinning head was causing my stomach to turn. I closed my eyes. Sleep might be the answer. Just a little sleep. Right after that, I’d check my messages and pay a surprise visit to Bianca whoosit. I flopped on Alvin’s blue and white cloud patterned bedspread and slept long and hard.
I was awakened by nudges and wet kisses. I opened one eye. Gussie was giving me the universal dog symbol for needing a walk. Even if he hadn’t been licking my face, a quick sniff of the air would have told me the same thing.
“You’ve had your last doughnut, buddy,” I said. “Before we go, let me check my messages. Maybe the coast is clear, and we can go home, and you can chase the cat.”
Gussie regarded me with his head on his paws as I checked the messages. He looked sort of cute, lying on the low cloud cover.
The messages were not so cute. I had seven from my sisters. I deleted them as fast as I could. Plus there were a couple of old ones from Mrs. Parnell and Alvin. P.J. had called, asking me to call him ASAP. Even Mombourquette had left a message. The only surprise call was one from my favourite old client, Bunny Mayhew, wishing me luck. Bless his criminous little heart.
“Wow, Camilla, this is Bunny, saying hi. That is serious stuff you got going down. If I can help you out anyways, let me know, eh. Tonya sends her best wishes. Oh yeah, my phone’s the same first three numbers as yours and then, you’re really going to laugh, L-I-F-T. Is that cool or what? Tonya thinks I should find a new word now, because I’m going straight, but, it’s like a good memento.”
There you go, I thought, sentiment takes many different forms.
The last message was from Elaine.
“Listen closely, Camilla. I don’t know how to reach you, but this is my one call, so I hope you get it. I have been arrested. If you get this message, can you call Nina Pfeffer. She’s the lawyer for WAVE. Her home number is in the book. I would have called her but, as I said, I just get the one call. They keep asking me where you went and what your plans are. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t know the answers. Excuse me? What do you mean my time’s up? My time is not up. Holy moly, I’m just leaving a message for my lawyer. I am not hogging the line. What? Hey . . .”
Oh, shit.
I looked up Nina Pfeffer in the phone book.
Of course, she wasn’t home, it being the Labour Day Weekend and all, but I gamely left a message anyway.
There were a couple of hang-ups just to keep me guessing.
I located my backpack with the supply of plastic bags, dropped the cellphone into it, slapped on the tourist disguise and took Gussie for the overdue walk. There’s a strip of parkland in the old section of Hull not too far from Alvin’s place. I figured the walk might help settle my head and give me some idea of what to do for Elaine. If anyone could piss off the police and the Crown and get a couple of extra charges laid against her, and maybe me, it would be Elaine.
I had a feeling her family was in Florida, so that wasn’t the answer. I didn’t even know her mother’s new last name. I wasn’t sure Elaine did either. I didn’t know if her brother, Eddy, still lived in Canada.
I stumbled along after Gussie, thinking my way through the fog. Gussie delivered big-time and efficiently. I guess that was good. I desperately needed to get back to Alvin’s apartment.
As we turned the corner, I saw the one thing I didn’t want to. Rooflights flashing. City of Gatineau police, rather than Ottawa. But then, that’s the thing about a Canada-wide warrant. Everybody gets in on the fun.
Gussie and I turned down the first alley and got as far away as we could. To add to my crimes, I ditched the plastic bag in a nearby dumpster.
Five minutes later, we were blending in with the tourists at the Museum of Civilization. I got Youssef on the phone and asked to be picked up.
“Akbar wasn’t all that happy about you,” Youssef said.
“What is this, a popularity contest? I suppose he didn’t mention the tip. Fine, I’ll call someone else.”
“Nothing to worry about. Akbar’s a bit touchy, but he’s off duty now. Now, it’s my cousin Faroud.”
“Thanks.”
He hadn’t asked about the dog. Good.
In the five minutes it took Faroud to show up, I had figured out where I was going next. If the cops had arrested Elaine at Maisie’s, then the Pathfinder was probably still in the parking lot. I was banking on finding the spare keys.
My nagging worry was, how did the police know to look at Alvin’s place? Had one of my family members squealed? I found that hard to believe. Had the police interviewed Alvin and Mrs. P. and broken through their defenses? Maybe Elaine had fingered them; there’s often a bit of tension there. I discounted that idea. Elaine would have her fingernails pulled out before she’d give the police any useful information. General principles.
Faroud, when he showed up, didn’t blink at Gussie. He had the Holly Cole CD playing. That meant no pesky radio bulletins to give him ideas. It was a short drive back to the market. I was still fishing around in the backpack for my cash when we got there.
“Not that it’s my business, miss,” he said, “but you should do something about that dog’s diet.”
“Really? You a vet?”
He didn’t like that. I saw him narrow his eyes at me through the rear view mirror. “No, I am not a veterinarian, but I do have a functioning nose.”
“Sorry. You’re right. It’s a problem.”
I removed my red sunglasses and kept digging for money. It was a bit hard to locate specific items with all those multiple images. Eventually, I fished out a ten-dollar bill and thrust it at him.
“You need a receipt?” he said.
“No, and keep the change.” I said. The sooner I got out of the cab and into the Pathfinder, the better.
He turned around and looked straight at me. “Are you all right?”
“Of course, I’m all right,” I said, with remarkable dignity for a person dressed as Captain Canada with the world’s stinkiest dog as sidekick.
“One of your pupils is quite dilated. I think you should seek medical attention. Would you like me to drive you to a hospital?”
“You a doctor?”
“Yes, in fact, I am. Maybe not in this country, but with eight years of training and solid post-grad work too. Good idea to listen to me.”
“Thanks. I’ll go to the walk-in clinic.”
“No. Go straight to Emergency. You probably need a CAT scan. I’ll take you if you want. On the house.”
“Used to be everyone was a comedian. Now everyone’s a doctor.”
That didn’t go down well. “Perhaps you should show a bit of respect,” he said with a flash of anger in his dark eyes.
“With all due respect, I think you should mind your own business.”
Okay, so that was rude of me, and the guy was just being a compassionate and competent human being, but hospitals are always crawling with cops, and they’d be on the lookout.
I felt Faroud’s black eyes on me as I rounded the corner. I looked back to see if he could see me head into the parking garage. But it looked like the coast was clear.
What is it about these garages? They’re so disorienting. Even without a concussion, how does anyone find their car, figure how to pay the parking and then work their way out of the maze? To make matters worse, the evening light was starting to dim.
Eventually, I spotted the Pathfinder. Dusty as ever. I made a couple of guesses where the spare keys might be. No luck under the driver’s door. No luck on the underside of the front bumper. When I tried the rear bumper, I hit the jackpot. That Elaine. Good thing she had insurance.
The next challenge was using the automated payment system to get my exit ticket. Elaine had left the ticket in the Pathfinder, which you’re not supposed to do. I blessed her.
Just to be safe, I bent down to the garage floor surface and picked up enough grit and dirt to smear the license plates. Not to be obvious, just enough to obscure the numbers. Paranoia, a person could get used to it.
For a few minutes, I sat in the Pathfinder and tried to concentrate, and to see without all the extra images. I used the time to call Mombourquette. Why should he miss out on all the fun?
“Lennie! I hope I didn’t call you in from the garden, but . . .”
“This is a dangerous game you’re playing. Have you lost your mind, Camilla?”
“Why are you yelling? I thought we were buddies now.”
“There’s a Canada-wide warrant for your arrest, and everyone is worried sick. Your sisters had to take Valium.”
“Really? That’s probably good for them.”
“Can you be serious? They’re afraid the shock will kill your father.”
That was hitting below the belt. “You tell them, Lennie, to make damn sure he doesn’t find out. He’s eighty-one years old, and quite deaf, and if they have half a brain in total, they’ll leave him at the cottage with a keeper but no radio.”
“I think that’s what happened. They’re afraid he’ll find out somehow.”
“Maybe they should give him credit for not believing this crap.”
“That you’re wanted in the killings of Laura Brown and Chelsea O’Keefe?”
“My father will not believe that.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Do my sisters believe it? Do you believe it?”
“Of course, they don’t. And I don’t either.”
“Well then.”
“They’re out combing the hospital emergency rooms and looking in ditches in case you have died of your head injury.”
“I’m not in the hospital, and I’m not in a ditch, and I didn’t kill anyone. How’s that for cheerful news?”
I must have been yelling, because the woman getting into the next car jumped. That was all I needed, alarmed witnesses who might tune into the news as soon as they got into their vehicles. I rolled down the window. “Sorry to startle you,” I said. “Bad reception in here. Yelling doesn’t help.” I shook the cellphone.
She slammed her door. All four of her lock buttons went down.
Mombourquette said something.
“What, Leonard? Sorry, I missed that.”
“Running away adds to the offense. No one who knows you would believe you killed anyone.”
“Maybe someone at the Office of the Crown Prosecutor.”
“Even there, they’re just going on the current evidence, and I guess it’s pretty compelling. But that will get sorted out. Isn’t that what you’ve been telling me? That I’ll be vindicated? Now I’m telling you the same thing.”
“Compelling evidence? How can it be compelling, if I didn’t do it?”
“Apparently, they have witnesses and tips. Conn is working to find out.”
“What witnesses? Besides the bartender, there are others? Who?”
“If I did know, I wouldn’t tell you, because you’d be on their doorsteps five minutes later, and then you’d get harassment and threatening a witness added to the charges . . .”
“Look here, Lennie . . .”
“And, the big thing is, they found Laura Brown’s car in the parking lot behind the Department of Justice.”
“It’s not great. They found your jacket in it.”
“They couldn’t have.”
“Jean jacket with butterflies. Something you were seen to be wearing after Laura died. Which would mean you had her car.”
“Someone planted it.”
“Of course. When these charges are found to be false, you’ll still have to deal with the fleeing arrest.”
“Well, how can I flee if I don’t know there’s a warrant for me?”
“It’s all over the media, for God’s sake.”
“I’m out and about, and I just haven’t heard it.”
“You just heard it from me.”
“You’re such a kidder, Lennie, who could believe such a crazy story?”
“Right. They’ll laugh you out of bail court. Get a better story.”
“Which reminds me, that’s why I called. Elaine is being held. She wanted me to call the WAVE lawyer. I couldn’t reach her. She could end up spending the night behind bars, because no one knows she’s there.”
“If you’re asking what I think, I’d rather stick pins in my eyes.”
“That’s too bad, because she thinks the world of you.”
“This is just a diversionary tactic on your part, Camilla. I hope you realize that I can see right through it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” In truth, I didn’t.
“Tell you what. If I see what can be done to get this woman legal counsel, will you refrain from doing any more stupid things?”
“Sure.”
I didn’t see anything stupid about finding Bianca Celestri.