Twenty-four

Qindra didn’t answer her cell phone, and when I called the house, Zi Xui, the head of Nidhogg’s servants, assured me she would take a message and see that Qindra got it. She said that Qindra had gone that morning and was not expected back for a few days.

I thanked her and hung up, looking down at my cell phone. What the hell was I supposed to do? Maybe the wraith had been destroyed when the diary had gone off like a magical nuke. Or, maybe he was just in the sideways, following me around when I was looking for Katie. That seemed more likely, now that the initial shock had subsided. Jai Li drew vivid pictures, but I was the one drawing the conclusions.

With the shock, and my extended absences, we decided to stay at Circle Q, do a little bonding and see if we could get some answers out of Jai Li without totally freaking out the child. I found it bizarre to be relying on her abilities, but she saw things we didn’t, or saw them in ways we hadn’t thought to consider.

It was almost as if she was an antenna into the psychotic and crazy that had sideswiped our lives in the last year. Of course, she was part of all that, having been a servant of Nidhogg her whole short life.

We had a quiet evening of knitting, games, and stories … lots and lots of stories. She especially wanted to hear silly things like The Three Pigs, The Three Bears, and Humpty-Dumpty. She thought they were high art. She’d begun to read on her own, as well. I think she just liked hearing me read. And it was something she hadn’t experienced frequently in her time with Nidhogg.

Of course it reminded me of the homey night I’d had with Katie, Melanie, and Dena the week before Katie’s collapse. It made things a little more manic, a little on edge. Not sure Jai Li noticed, but I think the others did. We called it an early evening and I trundled Jai Li to bed. Maybe I needed some sleep to help clear my head. Something without being hunted.

Jai Li must have been a good shield. I didn’t have any memorable dreams and felt better rested than I had since before the collapse. After a hearty breakfast of steel cut oats and fresh fruit (I thought we could’ve used some actual meat) we went for a horseback ride out to the wooded trails that backed up to Circle Q.

We all went, five women on horseback, riding out with a picnic lunch, more books, and a Frisbee. We were in no hurry and I really enjoyed the ride. It was peaceful. We rode for a couple of hours, had a nice lunch in the bright sunshine on of a wooded clearing, and threw the Frisbee around for a while.

When we were packing up, Jai Li and Edith were talking, their hands flying back and forth. I really needed to take the time to improve my signing. I had no idea what they were talking about. I was barely at the alphabet stage, and maybe the baby-words portion of the education.

When I asked what they were talking about, Jai Li pointed at my hair and drew her hands far apart, frowning.

“She says you have lost your way,” Edith said, stuffing a few loose folding napkins in her saddlebag. “You’ve let your hair grow out, and she thinks it makes you look funny.”

I ran my hands up through my hair, contemplating. I normally kept the sides shaved, but with all the crap going on since fall, I’d let it go. I pulled the sides of my hair and could tell it was down below my ears.

“You don’t think it’s pretty?” I asked.

“Oh, I think it looks a sight better than you normally keep,” Edith said.

“I agree,” Mary chimed in, grinning as she checked the saddle of her horse. “You’re a beautiful woman,” she said. “But you definitely don’t look like yourself.”

I helped Jai Li up onto her horse and mounted my own. “Okay,” I said, looking over at Julie who was just shaking her head and holding up both hands.

“I’m not sure how I feel about it at the moment,” I said with a laugh. It was true. I hadn’t given any thought to how I looked, honestly. Oh, I still had my jeans and my concert Tees, even my Docs. But before I’d been cultivating an image of the rebel. Now, it didn’t really seem to matter.

Jai Li pulled her horse around close to mine and leaned out, patting my leg. I looked at her, and she signed quickly. I let her finish and looked to Edith who had been watching.

“She said you need to find yourself before you can find Katie.”

I drew a deep breath, taking in the clean country air and clearing my head of cobwebs. “Find myself, huh?” I asked.

Jai Li signed a response that I understood. Yes, she signed. We need you.

We rode back to the farm, one of us adults keeping pace with Jai Li, but the others rotating back to carry on conversations without the girl. She was happy to take point on the trail.

“Wouldn’t hurt you to start working out again,” Julie said, grinning. “You’re getting a little soft, or so the girl says.”

I looked down. I didn’t have a paunch or anything. But I hadn’t gone on a run for a while, and I can’t remember the last time I did sit-ups. Maybe I was depressed. Maybe exploring the Sideways was an excuse to not really do anything.

It was hard to tell. Was I wasting my time? Or, maybe I was just going about it wrong.

On the ride home, I decided I’d call Gunther, let him know about the wraith and see if he knew anything that would keep it away from Katie. I had a hunch that the magicked fence out at Black Briar could probably keep the wraith away. Would also explain why he had been following me. If he was still haunting Katie, he’d be there, not chasing me.

That thought buoyed me a little. Not that being hunted by eaters and wraiths were simple things. But them being after me meant they weren’t after Katie, and that was a relief.

Unless they were really looking for Katie and I happened to be in the same vicinity. Circles within circles. It made my head hurt. I rotated up the line to ride beside Jai Li and try and settle my whirling thoughts.

Time to get back onto my routine, do some smithing, restart life. Katie wouldn’t want me floundering around. And if Jai Li had to point that out to me, it must be pretty bad. No more dreamwalking for me. Time to face the real world.