Fifty-four

I guess Deidre had worked Jimmy over pretty well. When I went out onto the back deck, he was walking across the grounds, heading out to the war memorial. Deidre patted me on the arm as I went past her and I gave her a quick hug.

Jimmy must’ve heard the door because he’d paused out by the old ruined barn.

“Hey, Jim,” I said, jogging up to stand next to him.

He was staring into the ruins, the fallen timbers, the ash that refused to go away, even after more than a year of being open to the weather.

“This is where it happened,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

“What? Where Deidre fell?”

He turned to look at me, his eyes haunted. “This is where we lost our innocence. This is where we stopped being children and started being jaded and wounded grown-ups who struggle against the sharp edges, opening old wounds, lost in our past.”

“That’s pretty heavy stuff, Jim.” I said. “Ever thought about tearing it down? Letting the new memorial the dwarves built pass for our historical memory?”

“Bub lives here,” he said, pointing through the interlocked beams to a small corner in the back where a convergence of roof pieces had created a small cave of ash and burnt wood.

“We can find him a new place,” I said, staring into the barn. “Where is he this afternoon?”

“No idea,” he said, shrugging. “Can’t you call him with that amulet of yours?”

I grabbed the stone beneath my shirt. “Yeah, I suppose. Let me give it a try.”

The stone pulsed a quiet red as I slipped it out from my shirt and held it in my hands. “Bub?” I asked the air. “Bub, where are you my friend?”

There was a popping sound behind me, and the quick stench of sulfur. Jim and I both turned. Bub sat on the picnic table against the new barn across the yard. He squatted down with his knees up around his ears. A great yawn cracked his face, forcing his jaws open as wide as I’ve ever seen them. Half his head practically unhinging and tilting backward. I was willing to bet we could drop an anvil in his gullet and he’d just burp and smile.

“You tired, Bub?” I asked, crossing the yard.

He stretched his arms above his head and arched his back. His scales shone dully in the light of the late afternoon.

“I was taking a nap,” he said.

Jimmy shook his head, but a smile touched the corners of his mouth.

“Nap where?” I asked.

“With Frick and Frack,” he said, stretching upward, coming to his full four feet with his talons clicking above his head.

“I’m glad you could make it,” I said, sitting on the table beside him. “Saves me from having this conversation twice.”

Jimmy stood by the end of the table, one foot up on the bench nearest my boots. I leaned back on my elbows, and Bub dropped back down like a frog. He had the boniest damn knees.

“I want to do something with Katie,” I started, not looking at either of them.

“You want to take her sideways?” Bub asked, his voice tight.

“No chance in hell,” Jimmy said at the same time.

I held up one hand, leaning back on my right elbow. “Not exactly. I want to take her to Kent, drive around to a few spots, and the three of us, with Skella as a guide, to go into the Sideways and see if we can help guide her spirit back to her body.”

“Intriguing,” Bub said, swiveling his head to look at me. “What makes you think this will be any better than the excursions you’ve already made?”

“Good point,” Jimmy said.

I paused a moment, collecting my thoughts. This was the right thing, it had to be.

I laid out a more detailed history of my other trips sideways, added in the information from Unun and the things I’d gleaned on my own.

“And you want me to allow her near all that?” Jimmy asked, his voice so tight, I think he’d vibrate if I plucked him.

“She’s dying, Jim. I know what the signs are. I know Gletts was going through the same things, and you don’t have a magic house of healing to help her along like the elves did for Gletts.”

“Take her north, then,” Bub said. “Wouldn’t that improve her chances?”

“No way,” Jimmy said, slashing the air in front of him with an open hand. “I’m not letting her out of my sight.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “But damn it, Jim. I won’t let her die because you’re so fucking pigheaded, you can’t see beyond your own fear.”

He dropped his foot to the ground, squared up to face me, and ground his teeth. “She’s my blood,” he finally managed to say. “She thinks she loves you, but I’m beginning to wonder if she wouldn’t be better if she’d never met you.”

Bub stood on the table hissing, his eyes two narrow slits. I reached over and put my hand on his calf.

I’d expected this tact from him. He’d lost control of the one thing he had sworn to take care of, and he was lashing out. Still hurt like a bitch. But I couldn’t let him see it.

I took several breaths, letting the calm flow through me like an icy fog. When I knew I could talk without firing back at him, I sat up, shrugged my shoulders to loosen up the muscles from where I’d been leaning on one elbow, and slowly turned to look at him.

“I’m gonna pretend those words were never said.” I sat forward, closing my eyes, and rotating my head on my neck, letting the tension bleed away. “We can do nothing and before another month passes, she’ll be too far gone to matter.”

I looked at him, putting every bit of anger and fire I could muster in my stare. “Stop being a damned child and listen to me. I have a plan, and I need your help.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but I placed a hand on his arm. “Listen, please.”

The muscles of his arm were so tight, I couldn’t understand how he didn’t have a cramp.

“I need you to help me search. You know her better than I do. I need your help in looking for clues. She’s hiding somewhere, but it’s a crazy funhouse landscape and I can’t tell where she’s hiding. I followed her, the trail growing colder and colder, but I couldn’t catch her.”

Bub sat down beside me and put his head in my lap, whimpering slightly.

“She’s scared, and she’s running, Jim. And I think that evil spirit I told you about wants to kill her, or wants to kill me and is using her for bait.”

He didn’t shrug off my hand, but I saw his shoulders drop a bit. I placed my other hand on Bub’s head, stroking the scales on the side of his face.

“I need you to have my back in case things get bad. And I need you to help me find her, Jim.” I took a breath, keeping back the pain. “I can’t tell you how much I love her. There are no words.”

He blinked a few times, turned his head away from me, and rubbed his eyes while stepping away. “Yeah, all right. But we go in with a plan, and I want you to go over it all again. From the beginning. Nothing left unturned, no secrets. Anything may help.”

I felt a pang in my chest. But I know what had to be done.

“Same with you, right?”

He nodded. “Let me get some things together and we can meet back here. I’ll arrange to have Katie driven down to Kent. I think we can hire an ambulance. Dena will know who we can call.”

Dena was Melanie’s girlfriend. She was an EMT and drove an ambulance.

“Let me get Skella to cart me around,” I said.

Bub sat up. “I get to go too, right?”

“Absolutely, big guy. You’re my ace in the hole.”

He grinned broadly, showing off most of his business teeth and hopped down off the table. “I’ll go tell Trisha that I’ll be gone a bit,” he said, scampering toward the barracks where she lived with the troll twins. “So the boys don’t worry when I’m gone.”

“Good idea,” I said, feeling my heart lighten.

Jimmy was already on the porch heading into the house.

“Tell Gunther, will ya?” I called after him.

He waved at me over his shoulder and went into the house.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Skella to make arrangements. While I was at it, I thought maybe I’d call Rolph. See if he wanted in.

I’d love to take Qindra, but she’s off with Stuart.

I started making a list in my head as I walked out to the smithy. I wanted a few things just in case, including my armor. I called Julie, warned her that Skella and I were coming out and that we’d explain everything when we got out there.

I just hoped that this didn’t turn into a true cluster fuck. God knew I was okay risking my own neck, but taking others into that crazy place had me nervous.

But I was not letting her go. Not if I had to scour every square inch of that hellish place.

Besides, what could go wrong? I was asking for help. That’s what I’d been doing wrong all along, right? This had to be the best thing.

I was running out of time.