DARYN
I’m watching Shadow—the Shadow I’ve created out of water—when fear touches me like a breath, lifting the hair along my scalp.
My focus breaks. Shadow dissolves back into the pool with a splash.
I know Rael is behind me, but I can’t face him. And I hate the smoky scent I smell hanging in the air.
I think of what Gideon told me about conjuring, about what Rael told him was the cost, and realize I’ve just created Harrows. I’ve created violent, mindless creatures because I needed a little bit of comfort.
I’m disappointed with myself. Disgusted.
“I wondered what you would create first,” Samrael says. “Intentionally, that is. I thought it would be your mother.”
I lick my dry lips. “When I see her, I want it to be real.”
“I understand.”
I whirl around, facing him. “How could you? Have you ever told the truth? Ever? Even once?”
“Yes,” he says. “Today, I told you the truth. Yesterday, I did as well. Tomorrow, I hope to continue to. And the following day. You’ve changed me, Daryn.”
“I don’t believe you!”
He winces and looks away, staring off across the water. “I’m very sorry to hear that. I have to admit,” he says, “I’m surprised you’re still here.”
“I wanted to leave. I would have if I’d found Gideon.” I reach into my pocket to touch the orb. “What did you do to him, Rael?”
“I held him captive. It was before, Daryn. Before you gave me hope. I had nothing to do with his disappearance last night. I wanted to explain all of this to you.” He reaches for my arm. “Listen, I—”
“I don’t want to listen to you anymore! I don’t trust you!”
“Did you? Before you learned about Gideon? Before you realized I was deceiving you?”
“Yes! Yes, I did! But I don’t anymore. You ruined it. You lied to me. You played me for a fool, and you—”
“You’re not a fool. You’re—”
“But you treated me like one. You disrespected me. Can you understand that? You hurt me.”
Devastation breaks over his face. His eyes gloss with tears. “Then why are you still here?”
“Because I don’t want to believe you’re evil. And I don’t want to judge you. And I don’t want to turn my back on you and wonder for the rest of my life if I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?”
“You, Rael. I don’t want to take away your future. I don’t want to take away your hope. You said it yourself. Part of being a Seeker is hope. Giving it. Protecting it. If I leave you here…”
“I would lose it,” he says, finishing for me.
As I stare into his tearful green eyes, I wish with everything in me that I could give up on him.
A sound drifts down from the hill and bleeds into the silence. My body recognizes it; my heart leaps and my muscles tense.
It’s the howling of the Harrows.
I break into a run. Rael stays right beside me.
As we reach the top of the hill, I see the slashes of light from Jode’s bow first. Then the guys, mounted, fighting against a torrent of Harrows in front of the main house.
I stop, gasping for breath, my legs twitching. The guys shouldn’t be here. They couldn’t have gotten into the Rift without the orb and my help.
This is a haunting. It’s the only possible explanation.
But as soon as Gideon looks over and locks eyes with me, I know it’s real.
It’s him. It’s all of them.
I sprint toward them, drawing notice from several of the monstrous ragged creatures. Three gallop together, pursuing me on my right. Samrael stays behind, no longer with me.
Ahead, Gideon is driving hard in my direction, fighting Harrows as he comes, his sword a line of light. Riot’s coat blazes, snaking up Gideon’s legs.
Gideon won’t reach me—not in time. He’s too far, a hundred yards. The three Harrows are much, much closer.
In an instant, I imagine how I would fix this by reaching for the strength inside me. Raising roots from the earth and lashing them at the Harrows like whips to snare them to the ground.
I could stop the Harrows by conjuring. And I could reach Gideon and the guys.
And I have the orb.
We could leave the Rift. Leave this place behind forever.
I could do it so easily.
I could run, and never have to think about Samrael again.
Except I know I’d think about him all the time. I’d go back to living with regret.
I can’t do that again.
My legs slow, some ancient part of me knowing the correct path forward before it even enters my consciousness.
I turn and see Rael where I left him. Standing at the edge of the tree line, watching me.
He sees me. He must sense that something has changed, because he begins walking toward me.
“Daryn, no!” Gideon yells behind me. “Don’t do it, Daryn! This is what he wants.”
Is it?
I don’t know. I’m beyond considering the hatred between Gideon and Rael. The friendship between Bas and Rael. I’m beyond grudges, revenge, and lies. Nothing about this has felt right, and I know it’s because I’ve been going about this the wrong way. I’ve been trying to evaluate and decide something I can’t know, or see, or even begin to understand.
Who am I to judge Samrael?
Who am I to determine whether he’s worthy of forgiveness?
This has to be simpler than that.
It has to be.
Isabel’s words surface in my thoughts, a seashell revealed by ocean waves.
Evil is its own undoing.
I hear it over and over as Rael draws nearer until he stands before me, tall and still, his stillness amplified by the struggle behind me and the sounds of the guys fighting for their lives.
I stare into his eyes. Stare into the complexity of who he is, full of falseness or truthfulness, or both. Aren’t I those things, too? Honest and dishonest? Kind and cruel? Selfless and greedy?
Trust, Isabel told me. Especially when it’s difficult.
“Tell them to stand down,” I tell Rael. “Call the Harrows off.”