Prologue

 

Rajesh looked out the window of his office at the factory floor below.   More than a hundred of his people were down there, working to create his most valuable and profitable commodity.  Outside the walls, thousands more were harvesting the materials his factory workers needed to do their job.  His thoughts drifted back to the early days, when this building had just been a shelter for himself and his family. Before they figured out how to make it work for them.

A brief knock at the door interrupted his reverie.  “Come in.”

“Good morning, Rajesh.  I have the weekly reports here.” An older man wearing a pristine white shirt and pants entered the room, extending a ledger.

“You will address me as Earl Rajesh, please.  I should not have to keep reminding you of this, uncle.”

“I changed your diapers when you were little, Rajesh.  Be glad I do not address you using your nickname from back then, Stinky.” The old man grinned at his nephew, setting the ledger down on the desk before him.  “In formal settings I shall use your proper title.  But here and now, with just us two, you are my dear Rajesh.”

Rajesh sighed.  His uncle Agni was irrepressible, and he supposed he wouldn’t want it any other way.  The old man had stayed by his side and supported him without fail since the earliest days of the apocalypse.  Taking the ledger, he gave it a quick scan, his eyes moving down to the bottom line. 

“Sales have been good.  We are very close, I think, to being able to expand again.”

“And maybe this time you will become a prince!” Agni waved his hands in the air with a flourish, then bowed gracefully, grinning the entire time. 

Rajesh shook his head.  “I wish there were some kind of wiki or instruction book that spelled out exactly what it will take.  That Allistor person achieved the title months ago! I dislike being second, and will not tolerate being third.  We must expand as quickly as possible, so that I am next to achieve princedom.”

Agni nodded his head.  “The researchers have been monitoring the open market via the kiosks, and we are still the only ones selling our product.  Eventually, there will be no more of it to scavenge, and every human on earth will be your customer.”

Rajesh chuckled, shaking his head slightly.  “I never gave it much thought before our world as we knew it came to an end.  This new world, it presents many opportunities.  Who would have ever guessed that I, a simple accountant and virtual game hobbyist, would become the Toilet Paper Prince of Earth?”

“Toilet Paper Earl.” Agni corrected his nephew, his smile wide as he held up one finger.  “Perhaps you would reconsider contacting this Allistor?  He is, after all, the only one who can tell you how he achieved the title of Prince.”

Rajesh scowled.  He had already refused this suggestion from his uncle more than once.  He had no idea what type of man Allistor was.  How would he respond to a competitor?  Would he assist Rajesh in achieving the next rank?  Or would he lash out in jealousy, attempting to take Rajesh’s holdings for himself?

“There is too much risk, uncle.  Continue to gather information about this man as best you can.  Should we find accurate intelligence that he is good and honorable, I will seek him out.  Otherwise, it is best not to show ourselves.  We will continue to sell our toilet paper via anonymous trade accounts, and buy weapons and armor the same way.”

“What about our new neighbors?  Surely they will have more information on the prince.”

“The jelly creatures?” Rajesh raised one eyebrow at Agni.  “Do they even speak?”

“The System called them gelatinous when we used Identify on them, not jelly . I imagine they must communicate, somehow.” The old man looked thoughtful. “If you would lift your orders not to interact with them, I could find out…”

“The only person who has interacted with them screamed for a full two minutes before he was engulfed and dissolved.  You wish to tempt that fate yourself?”

The old man shook his head slightly.  “Gupta was a fool.  He did not even try to communicate.  He simply charged into their midst as soon as they emerged from that cave, hacking and slashing like a madman, shouting about loot.”

Rajesh thought it over for a long moment.  Finally, he nodded slightly.  “You may attempt communication.” He held up a finger, much like his uncle had earlier.  “But not you, personally.  Choose someone less important, and instruct them on what to do.  And make sure no one else is nearby.  Gupta nearly caused a panic among the peasants with his screams.”

The old man bowed his head slightly, and exited the office.  Rajesh returned his gaze to the factory floor, drumming his fingers on the arm of his executive chair.