Chapter Twenty-eight

Oh! Strike three! He’s out!” Stan hooted and raised one fist in the air while shoving more popcorn into his mouth with his other hand.

“Ball!” Hayden shouted at the television. “Ump, you’re blind!”

They watched while the coach yelled the exact same thing at the ump, who ignored everyone except the batter, looking even more angry than Hayden.

Hayden reached into the bowl and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth as well while they sat and watched everyone argue. “This would be a better game if they had a decent umpire,” he grumbled through his mouthful.

Stan grinned. Despite the questionable call, he was enjoying himself.

He turned and looked at his best friend, who continued to shovel more popcorn into his mouth. Amber also yelled at the television, but she would eat the popcorn one kernel at a time, leaving more for him. Then she’d complain that he was a pig when they were down to the last handful, and go make more.

“Gonna make another bowl?” Stan asked, without turning his head from the game. “This one’s almost all gone.”

“Nope. It’s your house. You make more popcorn. I’m a guest.”

“Not a very grateful one.”

Hayden raised one buttery hand in the air. “Do not tell me what Amber would do, or that Amber would make you more popcorn.”

“She would.”

Hayden rolled his eyes. “You two are more married than most married people I know.”

Suddenly the formerly delicious popcorn turned to a lump of lead in Stan’s stomach. He no longer had the desire for more, so he leaned back into the couch and stared blankly at the television.

“Uh-oh,” Hayden muttered. “I think I hit a nerve. Trouble in paradise?”

“There is no paradise. Except for one date, nothing’s changed.”

“I heard it was a great date, though.”

Stan slumped forward, plunked his elbows on his knees, and leaned his face into his palms. “What did you hear, and who did you hear it from?”

“First Barry, then Andy, then Tucker, then my mother, then your mother.”

Stan was beyond words. He groaned into his hands.

“I heard you were holding hands and making goo-goo eyes at each other all night, and there’s been varying degrees of discussion on a good-night kiss at the door, and that it was about time.”

Goo-goo eyes. Stan pressed his face more into his hands and groaned again.

“I know you’re not the type to kiss and tell. So I won’t ask. But I’ll listen if you want to tell me.”

Suddenly Stan felt like punching his friend in the nose. He didn’t drop his hands, but he turned his head and glared at Hayden.

“Another raw nerve. I’m serious if you say you want to talk. On the other hand, I’m going to say something I’ve been dying to tell you.”

All Stan did was glare at Hayden.

Hayden flinched and slid down the couch, a few inches away. “She told you that I took her out for dinner a few days before she went out on that big date with you, didn’t she?”

“Yes. But she didn’t say very much.”

“That’s because there was nothing to tell. It was the worst nowhere date I’ve ever been on. It’s not that we were bored or didn’t get along. We had a nice time and all that. At the end of the night we were still friends, just the way we were before. Nothing changed. There was no spark. Nothing. Nada. She wouldn’t even let me pay for her meal.”

“She does that to me all the time.”

“Then I’d like to say I feel better about not paying for a lady’s meal, but I don’t, really.”

Stan almost said that she also did that to him all the time, too, but he didn’t want to make himself even more depressed.

“We didn’t lack for conversation, but do you know what was the most interesting topic we covered?”

“What?” Not that he really wanted to know. As selfish and wrong as it felt, he didn’t want Hayden to have a good time with Amber. Especially if they were out on a date.

“You. I couldn’t believe it, but we talked a lot about you. I wish you could have seen her. Her eyes lit up, and she smiled a lot. I don’t think she realized she was doing it either. Right then I saw that door closing, right in my face. I like Amber. A lot. I know she likes me too. But not that way. The one she likes that way is you.”

“But she doesn’t. I know she doesn’t.”

“She does. When I kissed her good night, she—”

Before Stan realized what he was doing, he had Hayden by the shirt collar and was glaring into his face, a few inches between their eyes. His heart was pounding, his breathing choppy, and he held his whole body as tight as a drumhead.

“Dude!” Hayden raised his hands in surrender but didn’t touch Stan or push him away. “It was nothing. I get more response from my mother’s cat, who hates everyone except my mother.”

Stan let go like Hayden was on fire, sank down into the couch, and covered his face with his hands again. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“I do. You couldn’t stand the thought of me kissing your girl.”

He shook his head with his face still buried in his hands. “But she’s not my girl.”

“She is. She just doesn’t think of it that way. But she is. I had to listen to her sing your praises all night. Every time I see her, whenever your name comes up, I hear it all again. I’m surprised your feet even touch the ground.”

“My feet touch the ground. Make no doubt of that.”

“Not in her eyes. She’s crazy about you. I don’t know why you haven’t asked her to marry you. If she were interested in me like that, I’d ask her in a New York minute.”

With a swirling in his gut, Stan knew that was just what he wanted. He was crazy in love with Amber, he’d spent all of his life with her, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her—on a deeper level. They weren’t just buddies, like she kept saying. They were soul mates. He doubted men usually thought like that, but he did. At least about Amber.

He turned to his friend. “Unfortunately I know what her answer would be, and it wouldn’t be the one I want. She’d tell me it’s not like that, that we’re just good friends. Lifelong buddies.”

Hayden’s eyes lost their sparkle, and his whole body sagged. “I wish it had been like that when I married Marissa. We weren’t friends. We didn’t like the same things, we didn’t do the same things. Most of the time we didn’t know what to talk about when we were both home at the same time. We both knew we never should have gotten married. We barely knew each other, and we never worked at getting to know each other. She didn’t even feel guilty when I caught her with her new boyfriend, six months after our wedding. When she served me with divorce papers and left town, I wasn’t surprised. It was almost a relief, but it still really hurt.”

Stan gritted his teeth. When he found out he’d wanted to deny it because he couldn’t bear that it was his best friend that everyone was talking about. Except it was all true. “I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“That’s because I didn’t want to believe it. Until I actually caught them together.” Hayden shrugged. “I’m over it now. For the most part, anyway. But what I’m saying is that what I’m looking for is what you and Amber have. I don’t know why you’re too stupid to see it.”

Stan saw it, but Amber didn’t.

“You need to ask Amber to marry you, dude.”

“I would, except I know what she’d say, and it won’t be the answer I want.”

“Then you have to do something to change her mind.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. You know her better than I do. Think of something.”

Stan stared blankly at the television. The game was over, he didn’t know the score, and he didn’t care.

Hayden stood. “I’m going home. When you think of something, bounce it off me.”

“I will.”

He hoped.

Amber’s phone rang. Again, she cringed. It was almost as if highlighting their names on her spreadsheet of the garden club’s membership had somehow made them call her. Strangely, instead of asking about her garden or setting up an appointment for the annual inspection, they all asked about Stan.

As if she’d know.

She hadn’t seen him since yesterday. As far as she knew he was at home, watching the ball game with Hayden. After the third call asking about him, she’d nearly panicked and asked if something was wrong that she didn’t know about. Pamela had only laughed and said that she was curious after seeing them together on Sunday.

They hadn’t been any more together on this last Sunday than they’d been any other Sunday. Unless Winnie had told someone how long they’d hidden in the sanctuary until she got fed up and left, informationless.

All they’d done was pray, which was what people were supposed to do in the sanctuary.

The caller ID showed that it was another member of the garden club, but this time the caller wasn’t on the operating committee. This time the caller was her friend, Sarah.

Amber grinned and flipped the phone open.

“Stan’s fine, thank you for asking,” she said instead of hello.

“How did you know I was going to ask?”

Amber squeezed her eyes shut. “Not you too.”

“I guess I’m not the first, second, or tenth caller?”

“Maybe the tenth.”

She could hear the smile in Sarah’s voice without seeing her. “Then you have to tell me. You know you two have been the talk of the garden club these last few days.”

“Ever since Friday night, right?”

“You got it, girlfriend. Feed me the juicy details.”

“You know I don’t kiss and tell.”

The second the words left her mouth, she realized she’d just told. Sarah’s silence told her that her friend understood what she hadn’t said.

“It wasn’t like that . . .” Amber mumbled, her voice trailing off.

“So it finally happened. There was talk about a betting pool.”

“There was not.”

“The only reason there wasn’t was because I told them I refused to ask for details. Unless you want to tell me.”

“I just said—”

“—that you don’t kiss and tell. Then intimate. Let me guess between the lines. I hear he was hot in his suit. He wore a tie. Don’t you just love that mustache?”

Amber tried not to groan. She refused to let Sarah bait her. “What was I wearing?”

“A dress. With high heels. That’s how I know it was serious.”

“Those black ones are my favorite shoes.”

“That you only wear on very special occasions. Come on, Amber, you two went to the Fancy Schmantzy, not McDonalds.”

Figures from her budget ran like a ticker-tape through her head. “There’s nothing wrong with McDonalds. I eat there all the time.” When she had extra money. Which hadn’t been often lately.

“Quit trying to change the subject. Talk is that you two were making goo-goo eyes at each other all night. It’s been killing me not to ask, but I’ve waited long enough. I have to know.”

“Goo-goo eyes?” She rolled her eyes, which were not goo-gooing.

“Details, my friend.”

“We had a nice time.” The whole time she’d had difficulty comparing her usual buddy Stan to the charming man across the table. Not that he was ever rude or crude, but he showed and demonstrated manners and behavior fitting the class and dignity of the suit. She’d felt like she’d been swept away on a magic carpet ride, while her butt remained stuck to the padded chair at the restaurant.

“And?”

“The food was good.” Better than good, she’d never eaten so well in her life. Of course, she’d never eaten a meal that cost so much in her life either. Everything was top quality, seasoned and cooked to perfection, and served with style. Stan’s meal was as excellent as her own, and the rich cheesecake they’d had for dessert had been a taste sensation.

“And?”

“Then we went home.” Because he was being such a baby about being in her car and that she’d driven to the restaurant, she’d let him drive home. That had been a mistake, because she’d ended up admiring how good he looked and thinking about how different the evening had been than anything they’d ever done before. Going out with him had been wonderful.

“And?”

“Then yes, just like you heard, he kissed me good night.” A spectacular kiss that had her nearly melting into a little puddle on the kitchen floor. She’d been kissed senseless by her most long-standing and best friend in the world. She’d felt his pulse many times before, mostly she’d had to check that he was still alive after landing on the ground after falling off of something. But this time she’d felt his heart beating against her cheek while he had his arms wrapped tight around her, and she’d had her arms wrapped tight around him. She’d been scared that he would, then terrified that he wouldn’t. Her whole world fell off its axis. The most romantic date she’d ever been on in her whole life had been with her buddy, Stan.

“And?”

“He went home. I made tea.” Except that, by the time she could get her head off the table, the kettle had boiled dry and she had to put on a second pot of water. Then she’d stared at the cup until the tea got cold, without having a single sip.

“That doesn’t say very much for your romantic evening with Stan.”

Amber’s throat clogged up. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think. Do I want more? Just like in all the books I read, everything has changed. What if I’m no different? We’ll never be able to go back to the way it was before. What if we start dating, and it doesn’t work out?”

“You ask too many questions. I think it would work, but that’s not really up to me to decide. It’s up to you. There’s one question that you didn’t ask, and that’s the one you need to think about. If you continue on with Stan, it will either work or it won’t. There won’t be any middle ground. There never is. Is it worth the risk? I think I’ll leave it at that. I have to go. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Amber flipped the phone closed and slipped it into her pocket.

She didn’t have to think about her friend’s question. She already knew the answer.

While the prize would be wonderful, the expense was too high. It was a risk she wasn’t willing to take.