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It took mother a whole six months before she started getting me to talk. During this time, she introduced me to various toys, took me to places, and even showed me some flashy glyph like stuff that were probably the letters of this world?
I didn’t recognize the characters. It was not English, that was for sure though. But yeah, she more or less realized a little late that I hadn’t even attempted to speak all this time.
“Say mommy,” she’d often say.
I did not though. She’d then go on to show me stuff and say their names. She used to do that subconsciously before but now she tried way too hard. It was starting to get a little annoying at this point. Yeah, I got that a table was a table. I didn’t need to know that a table was a table ten times every day for a month straight to know that it was in fact a table.
The more I teased her without speaking a word, the more frustrated she got. To a point where she was crying in the balcony, her head buried in her thighs, while she sat in that fetal position.
Sigh. I felt bad... “Mother,” I said. “Okay?”
For the first few seconds, she stared at me, basically dumbfounded. She just wanted to hear one word, so maybe starting off with a broken sentence wasn’t a very good idea? For the first time in my life, I was regretting never going near a baby; if I’d interacted with them, then maybe I’d know how those thigs act. Fuck...I should have studied those little shits like the rest of stuff!
“Y-y-you talked!” She squealed, taking me up in her arms. She hugged me, gently swaying her body, dancing with excitement. “Say it again. Say mommy!” I could have sworn the tears were floating for a couple of seconds before they crashed into everything around us. Thankfully, no new droplets were being produced.
“Mother.”
“Mommy, mom. Mama!”
“Mother.”
She sniffled, and wiped her tears, along with the snot. She was still a little frustrated but did smile nevertheless.
Yeah, I wasn’t going to call her mommy. Mommy was only reserved for my favorite waifu, and no one else. Not even Lin.
But maybe a part of me didn’t want to call her mom, because I didn’t want to be reminded of my previous mother. I didn’t want to be reminded of Mom.
I wrapped my tiny fat hands around her thumb, not quite reaching. She rubbed my back, and we went inside.
The next day, some guests arrived. Her friends. Six of them. Four guys and two girls.
Seemed to be about the same age.
All tall eared folk. Apparently, they were called the Southerners. Because they lived in the south. This particular world didn’t have any distinction between humans and elves other than the tall ears and appearance. Humans and elves lived about the same age- 150- and basically had similar capabilities. Of course, there was still some unique talents specific to race and discrimination. But there was always discrimination regarding skin color and appearance. That was how earth worked, and that was also how this world worked.
“This is Soleir Arnius, say hello,” mother said, showing me off.
They smiled and nodded and stuff. Weird.
Our guests did try to interact with me, and talk to me, but they weren’t really into me. They didn’t look at me like they looked at mother. ‘Her friends,’ I thought. And honestly, I was glad. She had friends. Way more than I ever did.
Now granted I was barely seventeen when I died. And mother was close to what, twenty? Maybe twenty-five. She was pretty young, but old enough to be my elder sister. I didn’t see her as a sister though. She was my mother, and was always going to be my mother.
Yet, I felt distant. Not because the people here were distant but... but because it all felt like a dream.
This loving atmosphere, this peace, all this... I’d wanted it long before I first read about portal fantasies and reincarnation stories. I’d wanted it, I’d dreamt of it, over and over again. So, now that I had it, I felt distant. I felt... like I could one day wake up from all this and be back in a hospital or something, attached to a freaking respirator, slowly waiting to die.
This world, this feeling... her warmth, were too real to be a dream. Yet, some part of me just couldn’t let go. Some part of me just couldn’t accept this.
I... couldn’t accept this.
“He’s tired again?” Den said.
“He’s a growing child,” one of the girls said. “They sleep a lot.”
“Sol doesn’t sleep a lot,” mother said. “He stays up and just stares out the window, or sits in the backyard.”
“Maybe he’s lonely,” the girl picked me up. “I’ll bring one of my kids over, she’s about his age.”
“Um... sure,” mother seemed oddly reluctant. Was she afraid of me getting ostracized because of my race? Maybe.
“Once he gets friends, he might stop being so attached to you,” the woman said. “Kids grow up so fast. Before you know it, they’re stating they’d rather have an adventure out there than to stay home all the time.” She snickered.
I honestly didn’t want friends. Things were fine as they were. I didn’t want friends, I didn’t want to grow up, I didn’t want... this to end.
I just...
Tears fell. I didn’t cry. I didn’t think or feel like crying either. Yet, the tears just refused to stop, as I held the girl tight.
“Give him to me,” mother said, taking me in her arms. I buried my face in her chest, sniffling. Trying my best not to cry. But the tears just didn’t stop. Damn this body! Mother didn’t try to wipe them away either. She just held me, swayed my body a little and patted my back.
It was comforting, her warmth. But at the same time, it was frightening. I was afraid she was going to just stop one day, when I got a little older. I was afraid she was going to leave me, once I grew up and no longer needed her. I-I- couldn’t stop the damn tears.
Damn it. Damn it all.
“Well, that’s enough for today,” Den said. “Seeya later. Oh, and we have a hunting session next month. He might come to enjoy it.”
“I’ll think about it,” Mother said.
They left in a frenzy, and although I did stop crying, I couldn’t smile. I couldn’t bring myself to.
“What’s wrong Sol?” she asked. She hadn’t asked that before.
“I got... scared,” I tried to sound a little babyish. “You’d leave...” But I didn’t sound like a baby at all. How the fuck did babies even sound?
She snickered. “I won’t leave you. I’ll never leave you. In fact, once I die, I’ll haunt you!”
I feigned a shock expression, before chuckling. Yeah, she didn’t quite ease my mind with that. But honestly... yeah, I didn’t want her to leave me. Don’t die though.
***
Things were somewhat back to normal. Mother made things for me, and taught me new things, things about this world, and for the first time we were having conversations. Every now and then, I would slip up and speak fluently. Weirdly mother didn’t seem to be spooked and probably thought I was some sort of a genius. Or maybe she had a screw lose... not that I minded.
She didn’t teach me any magic or fighting or anything. Then again, I didn’t know if she knew magic to begin with, and besides I was just a tad over two... probably.
After a few weeks, she took me out for a second time.
This time, deeper into the forest. Vines everywhere, trees growing on top of one another fighting for dominance. We would have had a really hard time walking around. If we walked around that was. We didn’t. Or rather, mother didn’t. She carried me with one hand, as I clung to her and swung around with the other. Basically, she just jumped from branch to branch, almost like a monkey, and with one hand no less. There were at least a dozen times when I thought we’d be falling to our deaths!
Is this how elves travel?
Like monkeys?
Yeah, I could understand where that heck a strength came from. Oh well. I stopped caring partway.
Some other southerners joined us. All six of her friends. I actually didn’t know their names aside for the Den guy. I wasn’t sure if that was his name or some title or whatever.
Oh well. I’d eventually know their names....
Probably.
We didn’t talk on the trees, and quickly jumped around, until out of nowhere, they all just stopped. One of the men had raised his hand and when everyone stopped, he motioned his fingers down, in a particular direction.
I couldn’t really see well but after squinting a little too hard, I could spot something moving. Something brown. Den pulled out an arrow from his quiver and aimed. The others followed suit. But no one shot. Almost like they were waiting for Den to strike first. Mother was holding me, so she didn’t bother attempting.
Swish!
The arrow flew, blitzing through the air, digging into the unsuspecting prey. “SHIIIKKK!!” It shrieked violently, before taking in dozens of arrows and falling flat on the ground, painting it red.
We finally went down and saw it. A boar? No, a cow? Both? Shaped like a boar but also sized like a cow. Were boars always this big or were they just a tad bigger in this world? The blood kept pouring out, clouding the area with a metallic bloody scent. They wrapped a rope around the thing’s hind legs and hoisted it up on a branch.
“This is a bit disgusting but this is how we keep ourselves fed,” Mother said.
And you’re showing this to a two-year-old... I sighed. I would have been more than freaked if I didn’t have 17 years of previous world experience.
“He’s doing way better than my Lia,” one of the girls said. Same woman who wanted to introduce her daughter to me. Curly hair, somewhat darker toned skin compared to the others here. “She was screaming and crying the whole time.”
These people didn’t seem to care about skin color though, at least this group didn’t. Proof of them being good friends, I guess?
Maybe this is a better world? Considering they murdered kids based on abilities... probably not.
“He’s a man,” Den said, letting out a breath as he sliced the skin off the boar with ease. His knife almost went through the boar like he was slicing butter with a warm knife. “He has to be strong.” Not just bows and arrows, these guys were proficient with knives and even swords. At least I thought those were swords hanging on their waists.
“My kid also handled it like a champ,” one of the men said, rather muscular for an elf. “He actually wanted to try himself.” He chuckled loud.
Mother’s grip tightened. She didn’t say a word but... but was she upset for some reason? I tried staring up but her chest was kind of getting in the way. Sigh.
Anyway, I tried to keep my eyes on the prey but what was I supposed learn from butchering? I’d seen it before. Countless times in my local area. I was really into muscle training and nutrition in the final days of my life. So, I made a habit of buying fresh meat from the butcher and cooking it at home. I lived alone, I had basically all the time in the world to learn whatever I wanted. I never committed to doing anything though.
And... I never found the act of butchering... ok. I knew something had to die for something else to live and I knew offering fake sympathy to things wasn’t going to work in this world. Yet... why did I felt pity for the thing?
Why did I feel... like this?
I wasn’t sad or anything but. “Do things ...really have to die, for us... to live?” I blurted out.
Shit that was too coherent.
“Yes,” mother said. “That’s living. If you don’t kill, someone else will. It’s either do or die. Either kill or be killed. So never hesitate to kill if your stomach demands it. Never.”
I wanted to say some things, maybe even debate. I always loved debating for no apparent reason, but I didn’t. Not because I was just a child and wasn’t supposed to have proper conversation skills (though that was one of the reasons) but because honestly, that wasn’t an argument that I could argue against. Or wanted to for that matter.
***
There were seven of us, eight including me. But I doubt they included me.
For what?
Meat division!
Yeah, butchering was over and now they were deciding who gets what. There was a whole debate on why Den was supposed to get the tender loin or whatever. But in the end, it was decided, the meat would be equally divided into seven portions and everyone would receive pretty much identical portions. Of course, that was only possible in theory but not in reality. Yet, they didn’t seem to complain as much.
These people did try to one up the other but they weren’t inherently trying to scam each other. Which was good. Some trolling was always part of friendship, but scamming outright and murdering... yeah, murdering. Sigh.
“Tired?” Den said.
Den had the hearing of a literal hound. Every time I sighed, he picked up. And lately he was being a bit too nosy. I guess he was buttering me up before he made a move on mother.
“I’m fine, Den,” I mumbled.
He stared, visibly confused. “He remembers my name, wow. Kids really do have great memory.”
“Lin,” Mother pointed at herself.
“Mother.”
“Lin, Lindell!”
“Mother.”
“Mommy?”
“Mother.”
I was not going to call her anything other than mother, no.
She groaned, almost whining. “Sometimes I feel like he’s doing this on purpose,” she said.
“Maybe he is,” the curly haired woman came near. “Lyra,” she pointed at herself.
The others also introduced themselves.
Den was Denkar. Apparently, the team leader.
Curly haired Lyra was the vice leader or something like that.
Aluc, the green haired tall handsome man, the only guy who had kept his mouth shut the entire time I knew him, was the spotter of the group. He’s the one who’d spotted the boar.
The other woman, Xena, was somewhat short, and actually the shortest of the bunch but she made it up with her beauty and quick shotting skills. It hurt to admit but she was prettier than mother.
We had two more guys. Xerec and Serec. Brothers. Black guys, both muscular and heavy hitters of the team. One of them always had a shield on his back, and the other had a small axe instead of knives like the rest. But every single one of them had bows and arrows as their primary weapon.
I guess it only made sense since they were focused on hunting in the forest; the more range they could get out of their weapons, the better.
“Names... too difficult,” I managed.
Nope, I actually had pretty good memory. But not as good as last time. In my previous life, the reason I was so damn good at studying was partly thanks to my memory and how efficient I was at remembering things. I could basically remember anything as long as I read it twice. Even full-length novels.
Now that I thought about it, that was one darn broken ability, huh? Yet, I never got to cherish it or enjoy it. I was always under constant stress of remembering the next thing for my exams. I didn’t study to learn, I studied to do well on a test. And it only made my life miserable. So, in a sense I was glad I didn’t have memory that good anymore. At least I couldn’t be pressured like that for having the talent.
Yet.
Why do I feel even worse?
I tried my best not to show it on my face.
“That’s okay,” Mother said. “You’ll learn with time. For now though,” she stared at the others. “Who’s going to carry all this? Or at least my share.”
“I’ll do it,” Den said.
“You can’t carry your own portion,” Xerec snorted. “I’ll do half.”
“I’ll do the other half,” Serec said.
They didn’t just look manly, they were manly.
With that settled, we made way for our home. Yes, our home. They all came to see the two of us off and once we got home with our stuff, they just left. Apparently, they used to hunt every two months before mother picked me up.
I was starting to get a little fond of them. Particularly because mother felt so lively around them. Not that she was unhappy with being alone with me but... but nothing beat the comfort of friends. But I have no one anymore...
“Can I... eat?” I asked.
“No dear. Too soon for you,” she said. “Maybe once you grow a little older.” She did end up grabbing a feeder though. Goat milk!
“Okay...”
She snickered. “You’re so mature,” she smooched me on my forehead.
I smiled and attempted to smooch her but she didn’t let me and just smiled coyly. “Too slow.”
And then proceeded to give me another smooch and another and another. Wet smooches. I would have been darn disgusted of this in my previous life but... but yeah, I couldn’t help but cackle the more she smiled. Gosh, my mother was gorgeous.
***
The next week, two girls showed up at our doorstep.
Lyra, and her daughter.
Lyra said her daughter was my age but, but she was already taller by three inches. Yes, I could tell. I was super infatuated with my height back in the day and given how I wasn’t a southerner like the rest... Hello again average as fuck past.... Sigh. Even among the Southerners, my mother was tall though. Only Xerec and Serec were taller while Den came close enough. I initially thought Den was taller but nope, dude wore thick soles.
“This is Sol,” Lyra said. “And Sol, this is Lia. I hope the two of you can be friends.”
Lia hadn’t spoken a word and didn’t make any real attempt to hide her annoyance. Understandable.
I wasn’t a kid but rather an adult inside, so I didn’t mind... yet. “I’m Sol,” I proudly proclaimed. I didn’t yet know if handshakes were a thing in this world or not so I didn’t bother attempting that.
“Lia...” she said. Tiny. Her voice was tiny, and had no real charm to it. Then again, she was a kid. So, oh well.
Lyra bent close and whispered. “She’s a little... uh...” She moved back, winked once. “Try to get along...”
Little uh- what?
Lia was taller than me and slightly fairer than her mother. She did have long ears and curly hair just like her mother but her face was different compared to Lyra’s; I suppose she took after her father. If I had to guess I’d say she was three. I was probably two and a half. Mother never celebrated birthdays, so I had no way of knowing how old I actually was, and I had no idea of knowing if mother even knew how old I was either.
This world revolved around a moon cycle and had about ten months in a year. It was throwing me off a little so I didn’t bother looking into it.
“How long are the two of you going to just stand there?” Mother said, bending down. “We meet again, Liani,” she smiled.
Apparently, the ‘ni’ translated to something like ‘little or small’. She used to attach that to my name all the time but lately stopped for whatever reason.
Lia nodded and smiled.
They came in, and mother served Lyra with some hot clear beverage. Green tea maybe? Do we even have tea though?
Heh.
Mother and Lyra took their seat, I did not.
I was observing them, while Lia was observing me. She hadn’t said a word but I’d clearly piqued her attention. So, I turned to her. “Yes?”
“Ears,” she said.
Oh yeah, I’d nearly forgotten. “Yeah.”
“No soute-ner?”
Southerner? Is that what she tried to say? She sounded cute but hella rude.
I sighed. Do kids sigh this much? “Yes, I’m not.”
She cocked her head left. “A see.”
She couldn’t pronounce ‘I’ for some reason.
“He picked up language real fast, huh?” Lyra said, staring at us.
“Oh yeah. He already knows both Southern Tongue and Western Tongue,” Mother said, coming over here. “Off you go,” she shoved us outside. Well, not quite shove but yeah. “Don’t go too far.” I guess she wanted me to take Lia to the Balcony and play?
I didn’t just leave for the Balcony though. Instead, I eavesdropped.
“Really? So, in theory he’s maybe-” Lyra paused. “Did you try to find out?”
“He’s quite sensitive around the topic, so I’d prefer you didn’t say anything to him or when he’s around.“
“So that’s why you sent them outside...” A pause. “It’s worrying me a little. This level of maturity from a child. Is it possible he’s one of the possessed?”
Possessed? I kept my ears sharp and focused.
“Hey,” Lia mumbled.
“Quiet.”
“Hey!” She pulled.
“What?” I snapped back.
She shrunk down a little, sniffled once and pointed at the forest. Boars, or rather baby boars. Three. They saw us and then ran like crazy.
Is it possible...
“They’re cute,” she said, taking a few steps and then running straight after them, going past the damn wall. Fast!
Why did they leave the damn door open... I sighed. And although the conversation inside was quite interesting, I sort of gave up and ran after Lia.
She was taller than me, and more agile. Meanwhile my fat legs could hardly sustain walking speed, so running was draining; I exhausted my lungs faster than I could call for the goat.
Goat!
“Wah!” I faked a cry.
Rustle!
BAAA!!!
My lovely white goat!
Bigger than a typical goat, she was at least half the size of Holstein. And she showed up every time I remotely cried. Always.
Sometimes I wondered if she was sort of a guardian angel but I figured she was related to mother. I mean, I had no real way of knowing either. But anyway- I went closer to my white goat (technically my milk mother) and patted her; she licked my ears, and offered her breasts in case I needed a drink. I shook my head and pointed at the forest, hoping she’d understand. But instead, she was hellbent on taking me back. But I was pretty much dead set on going in.
Every time I took a step, she bit my shirt and pulled me away. But... I didn’t give up- “She’s there-” I mumbled. “She ran-” I said again.
This world was special and everything in this world was special. So, it didn’t hurt to at least attempt to strike a conversation or so I thought. But I didn’t think it would lead anywhere. I mean, I was talking to a literal goat. Granted she was my milk mother but still!
A goat!
BAAAHH!! She roared wildly, bit my shirt firm, hoisted me in the air and lowered her legs just enough so I fell on her back. Guess, I was going to be hoisted back home.
Yet, she took steps toward the girl. Lia was gone a while ago but... but we finally started closing the supposed gap.
Goat mama dashed like a horse, literally. Even with my chubby ass on her back, she ran hard, harder than I ever could.
I held her neck fur like my life depended on it and it did. Maybe I even hurt her a little yet, she didn’t care and just marched.
In a minute, we caught up to Lia and the small boars. But the little things were already dead, and Lia was on her bottom staring at something. And that something was staring back.
“Get on, we need to leave!” I didn’t fucking care about fluency or whatever. We had to leave, now.
But Lia was frozen; the ground beneath her, wet.
Of course, she was. After all, in front of us... a literal tiger devoured one of the dead boars, splattering its guts everywhere between its boundless needle like teeth.
A two headed tiger.
