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I got careless. Really careless.
When the girl ran after those piglets, I should have just told mother and Lyra. I should have informed them and only then ran after her. And when the goat wanted me to not go after Lia... I should have just listened.
But I didn’t.
I ran after her. I tried to be a hero. I tried to protect her, so mother would be proud. In the end, I was still the same scared little child, desperate for approvals. I hadn’t changed at all. I hadn’t grown up at all. Even after leaving home, even after dying.
Now I was dead again.
I couldn’t feel anything, I couldn’t hear anything. Just darkness. Like last time. But unlike the last time, I didn’t open my eyes in a grass field. I wasn’t picked up by an elf. Nothing happened at all.
I guess, you only get reincarnated once. You only get one chance, and now that I blew it, everything was over. Guess I should have seen this coming.
Who was I kidding? It wasn’t like I was some fantasy protagonist. I was just a typical guy with literally nothing to show for. I was just a typical guy with no real talent. I was just... a wannabe. A pretender.
I got to play pretend till the end. Was my new mother proud of that? Did she cry afterwards? Or was she going to forget me and move on-
No. She wouldn’t. Our time was short but... but she genuinely loved me. It wasn’t just a show. I really felt loved, way more than I ever did back on earth. So, if this was a lie, if my mother was a lie, then... love really didn’t exist.
“Sol-” A faint voice.
Wait, was my mother just screaming nonstop?
Give me a break, I was dead. At least let me die in peace. Move on, find a lover, have kids and raise them well. But more importantly, be happy this time around.
“SOL!”
Gasp! My breath jumpstarted as I stared at the blindingly white light before me. My ears rung and I couldn’t keep my darn eyes open. No, it wasn’t that bright. We were still in the forest. The fresh smell of blood almost made me gag but... but the first face I stared at, Mother’s face put me at ease. She’d been crying and screaming my name.
She smiled, yet tears dripped down her face. She didn’t cry anymore. She just smiled. A warm smile.
“Wh-wha happ?” I tried to talk but words got stuck. I couldn’t. The world spun, I felt lightheaded and kind of drunk. Like that one time, I’d ran into the cellar, grabbed a bottle of red wine and drank half of it. Tasted sour and sweet and bitter and great! The world spun around in amazing colors. And I felt absolutely shit the day after from both the hangover and my dad unfortunately finding out.
“You did well,” she said. “You did really well,” she repeated.
I breathed a sigh and my vision was slowly going dark again. However, ... I knew for a fact, I wasn’t dead and wasn’t dying.
Why?
Because mother was here. And she was going to take care of everything.
***
Apparently, I came and went multiple times over a couple of days and when I finally woke up a week later, I got greeted with all the Southerners.
They got worried and came to check on me and never left. We had a small hut in the woods, and there wasn’t nearly enough space for them, so most of them camped outside but, yeah, these people cared a lot about Lin.
Speaking of Lin, she hadn’t eaten much of anything since last week and allegedly cut the tiger in pieces before feeding the meat to the fish and other weaker monsters. Yeah, Mother was scary as hell.
What’s worse, she’d only cut one head of the tiger and the other one was pretty much alive, but helpless, slowly bleeding out the entire time and feeling everything. Meaning, the thing actually felt the whole ‘being cut to pieces’ whilst alive too.
Never ever underestimate that woman ever again! I again etched the words on my very soul.
“And that concludes what I heard,” Den said.
The others were celebrating that I woke up. Mother was crying in the corner. This was only the second time I saw her cry. But she wasn’t sad or anything, those were tears of joy as far as I could tell.
Anyway, apparently, after biting me, the thing went after the goat and got one of its head cleaved by mother. That much I knew. But after I went out cold, the goat actually sacrificed a bit of her life force and gave it to me, so I didn’t die. And the goat, was technically a spirit called Sisna, who happened to be Mother’s guardian spirit. Orphan Southerners are sometimes blessed by the forest spirit queen and may receive a guardian spirit: in other words, Mother was super special.
Den went back to Mother, and more or less patted her shoulder while she cried.
When did you two get so close?
“Would I see her again?” I asked. I stared at my arm and it was still here, drowsed in bandages and herbs. I couldn’t move it at all. No, it wasn’t that I didn’t have any sense in the arm, it was just that... darn thing hurt like a thousand fucking needles at once! Argh! Well, they have bandages at least.
“Who, Lia? She’s sitting pretty locked in her room, and wouldn’t come out but sure, I’m sure she’ll come around,” Lyra said. I hadn’t noticed her at all.
They were all here though, they just hadn’t said much and I couldn’t move much. It’ll be a real pain to go toilet huh.... Just thinking about it made me cringe and feel shit.
“Uh-huh...” I said. It was going to be awkward if I mentioned that I was actually talking about the goat spirit but oh well.
Anyway- I looked over at Mother who’d more or less stopped crying and came to me. She sat down, smooched me on the forehead and caressed my head. “Well done. You saved her life. But next time you pull that, I’ll slap you ten times,” she smiled and flicked her finger aimed at my forehead. Ow...
She was not kidding, no.
And with her barbaric strength? “You’ll probably kill me, so please don’t...Mother.”
I got a lot of chuckles. “Oh, and it’s Mom, remember?” She smooched me again, this time on my cheek.
“Okay, okay, Mom...” My face burned a bit...
“Oh, he was embarrassed to call you mom...” Xena sneered.
Yeah, not quite.
“You can call me Mama if you prefer,” Mom said. Proudly smirking.
“Mother,” I said.
She sighed. “Alright, alright...” She rolled her eyes. “See, I told you he’s just teasing me.” She complained.
Now they all laughed.
And with that, my heroics came to an end. And I didn’t end up dead either.
For the first time, I was actually able to call Mother, Mom, without worrying about it too damn much.
But Mom made it very clear that I was never to try that shit ever again. No sir!
Denkar Borges
I was maybe too hard on Lin.
She was boasting about how men just weren’t her type and they were such brutes and all that. It pissed me off. To the point where I lashed out at her. I told her, she would never get a man in the first place because of that attitude. Or at least I tried to.
But I didn’t believe that. Heck, if anything that attitude was cute in a way. I expected her to lash out at me as usual. We always made fun of each other, always dishing out insults. Always together. And I expected us to be together in the future too.
However- Lin cried.
For the second time in my life, I saw her tears.
I saw her... crying.
Lin ran off, and I couldn’t go after her. My friends were awfully quiet today and although they tried to console me in their own ways, it wasn’t working. Yet, I couldn’t just stay put either. I’ve to apologize.
So, with a deep breath, I trailed her. Lin was mad. But eventually she’ll come around. When her anger calmed enough, I could just apologize and-
And... Lin found a baby.
“Get away from that thing!” I screamed.
No, not because I believed it to be possessed; I didn’t feel anything of that sort from that baby. I just... I just didn’t want it to be near her. I was afraid. Afraid it would take her away.
I was afraid.
Lin didn’t listen. She took the baby and stopped seeing us, and even told us to not get near her.
I couldn’t do or say anything....
“You know, you’re a wuss,” Xena said one day.
We were out hunting. Like we usually did. Just without Lin. She wasn’t an integral part of the hunt but she had the skills to replace any one of us if she wanted. She was far too versatile... and she was one of us.
Yet- she was gone. All because of me.
“I know,” I said.
“Since you know, you should go apologize, yeah?” Xerec yelled, slicing off the deer’s leg.
“I did but... she just won’t listen.”
Xena whined. “Idiot.”
The others sneered, almost like they understood something I didn’t. Maybe they did. And maybe I didn’t. But... it was too late. The baby was growing up, and Lin was too occupied with that.
And as I was afraid, things just... remained stagnated.
Until, one day, out of nowhere, Lin showed up at my door.
“I need you with me,” she said. “We’re storming the church.”
“You... what?” First of all, I was confused. Lin never liked the church. But even she wasn’t stupid enough to storm the place.
And second, seriously, she wanted to storm a church?
“You coming or what?” She walked away.
I grabbed my quiver and my bow. “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
Apparently, Lin wanted to threaten the priests so they didn’t report anything back to the headquarters in the west.
Although she was a distinguished warrior herself, she needed some leverage to her words. And that’s where I came in. I was her bargaining chip. If they told the head church about her boy, I’d go and murder their families.... Obviously, I wasn’t stupid enough to actually murder priest families and spend the rest of my days running away, but Lin was. Which was why, I played along. Luckily the priests were westerners who were somewhat afraid of us. They were far from home, far from their families, and far from the protection of the head bishop.
However, I knew for a fact, things wouldn’t last. Our threats were only as strong as we. Eventually, we’ll grow old. Eventually, we’ll be unable to protect the boy.
He’ll be on his own.
Which only meant the boy would have to grow up strong. So, I showed up at their place, I spoke with the boy, and surprisingly, the little thing was quite mature for its age. But it was still a baby and demanded attention. While tending to the thing, I weirdly made up with Lin. We were friends again.
We even went out hunting and... honestly things were good for once.
I was friends with her, and if things worked out... maybe I could even be more. Maybe.
“Hey, did you hear? That brat, stood up to a Dual Head tiger,” Serec said one day, out of literally nowhere.
We often hung out, went drinking, partying and stuff. He was married but he loved fun, and I loved hanging out. This was one of those times. We’d hardly even started drinking.
“Huh? Dual head? You’re joking.” I shrugged. Surely that kid wasn’t stupid enough to.
I mean, for his age he was mature, and he was quite sensible. He wasn’t possessed but I had a feeling he might have carried some memories from his last life. Which did bring the question, why he was so damn weak. But life was hardly fair. So, it was understandable. However, that boy wasn’t conceited enough to challenge a monster of that caliber.
“Oh, he did. He stood up to the tiger to protect Lina. Or was it Lima? What was Lyra’s third brat called again?”
“Lia...” I mumbled, stared out the window. Already evening, “When was this? And how’s he?”
“I heard this morning. He was dead, I heard.”
“Fuck...” the words leaked out.
I didn’t like the boy. I didn’t hate him either. But, but we had an understanding amongst us. And... Lin loved the boy. If he was truly gone... I need to be by her side. I need to-
Breath erratic, I ran, I climbed, and I jumped around, till I reached her house.
I ran in, found Lin, and hugged her tight. “I heard. I’m so sorry,” I said.
She didn’t shove me away. She just... embraced me back. Not a word.
But it was then I realized, the kid wasn’t really dead. He was in a bed, bandaged, herbs slathered all over him; definitely not dead. Serec lied? Or maybe he didn’t know. Act quick man, act quick...!
“Can I-” I said, gulping. “Teach him some things? He eventually needs to learn how to defend himself so this doesn’t happen.”
“Hmm...” She nodded or at least I felt she did. She moved back, wiped some tears. “Yeah,” she said.
She was crying. For the boy.
She needed someone by her side. And I was going to be that someone. Maybe not a special someone. But as her friend.
For now at least.
