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The boring monotonous life was starting to grow on me. I woke up, ate, ran around like an idiot, maybe trained a bit, spoke about different shits with mom, had lunch, went out with Lia or her friends while Serec or Xerec watched from a distance, came back and had snacks, rested, had dinner and then listened to mom’s stories before falling asleep. Very same same, very boring, but it was definitely growing on me... after all, who didn’t like some damn peace.
Before I knew it, things changed and came my fifth birthday. But along with the birthday came a shocking surprise just five days before.
“What do you mean?” I said. “You can’t be serious. What about you?” My voice rose oddly high.
I never liked yelling. Not in my last life, and definitely not in this one. Yelling felt like I was losing....
“I’ll be here. Once you come back from your trip, we’ll-”
“Mom!” I yelled. “Ten years. Ten years is a long time!”
She stared down. Her eyes, unwavering. “Yes. But your education is also very important.”
“I don’t need to go to school!” Heck, as long as I had books-
No. That wasn’t it. Learning was important. Especially since my talents were non-existent. I knew all that. However... “But Mom, I have to make regular offerings and-” And I was making excuses. I knew I couldn’t stay. She wouldn’t allow me to. Especially when my balls were on the line, and the church wanted me dead. But I still should have had at least 5 more years, right?
I still had a lot to learn. I still wanted to stay with her. I still-
“I’ll take care of that.”
“But I can’t just leave you!”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” She yelled, raised a hand up to hit me. But she never did. “That’s enough. You’re going. If you don’t go, the church would take you and put a collar on you like a slave; like a dog. Do you want me to see that? Do you want me to see my boy become a slave or be executed?”
I balled my fists... but... I didn’t have anything to say in return; she was right. “Okay...” In the end, I had to accept.
I had to accept this world’s ridiculous rules.
Fuck you Askavan.
Fuck you God.
Mom didn’t tell me anything. So, I went on a final training session with Den. I went at him blindly, swinging my knife, taking out my rage on him. He just dodged everything, not once hitting me back.
We went at it for hours, and eventually I fell on the grass, face first.
As usual, Den sat next to me but he didn’t say anything. I didn’t either. We stayed like that for some time.
Eventually Den started talking. “It’ll be primarily a Western school, so-”
“So, you can’t come see me.”
A green caterpillar crawled on the grass in front. Kind of disgusted, I jerked my head and that hurt my neck... ow.
“No, ‘you’ can’t come see us.”
“I see. Works perfectly for you.” I sat cross legged, not quite giving the guy a glance.
“What?”
“With me gone, nothing is stopping Mom from-”
Flick! The guy flicked my forehead hard, and with an absurd amount of force. “You know that’s not true,” he said. “You’re young. You’re smart. But I get the feeling that you don’t trust me at all Sol.”
“No, I trust you.”
But I also doubted him. I doubted myself. I doubted everyone ever since I came here. I guess... I really didn’t trust them. He was right.
He started. “Then have a bit more faith.
“Life’s not short Sol. You’ll have time to get everything back. Maybe you won’t get back your childhood, maybe these days would never return.
“But as long as you’re fine, as long as you keep on living, everything would be fine. You’ll probably detest us for doing this, but eventually you’ll understand.”
“But what if they investigate me in the school. They’ll easily figure out how weak I am.”
“Why do you think I’ve been teaching you? Most kids start learning after they’re five. You started two years too early. They’ll eventually catch up to you, but you just have to try harder. Your life, depends on you.”
“And what about after that ten-year period?”
“I was hoping you’d shape up a bit more, maybe wiggle your way into some noble brat’s room and... well-” He chuckled.
“I’m five.” I said, deadpan.
“Well,” he ruffled my hair. “Not anymore kid. You’re an adult from here on out... sort of.”
Yeah but...I was five!
***
As a graduation ceremony Den gave me three things. One, a bow, ‘bout half the size of a typical compound, which he never taught me how to use: Actually, he didn’t teach me anything other than just how to build up my strength and stamina. Two, a robe that was way too big for me and just draped everywhere. And three, a book.
“I know how much you love reading them, so,” so he got something for me.
It was the same one he bought for me. I guess the guy finally rescued the book from Mom’s clutches and got me the book. Too bad I neglected learning the Western tongue. I mean Xena did attempt to teach me but I hardly tried. I still have a couple of days. And I sort of knew the alphabet... hmmm....
I actually didn’t get to read books and I never went back to James either. So why or how these people got the idea that I ‘liked’ books, was kind of concerning.
I suppose it no longer matters anymore.
“Thanks Den.”
“You’re welcome kid.”
I was going to be sent off to somewhere called Saint Schalion Academy. I was slated to spend approximately ten years there. Alone.
Den said he was going to visit every now and then with Mom but, I doubted that statement. The reason they were sending me off was to hide the fact that there were rumors about me. Yes, rumors. Mom first found out about those rumors back at Lyra’s party and ever since then she’d been freaking out. And her worries had turned to paranoia basically. That priest entering our house in the dead of night was the last straw. Besides, killing a priest was a cardinal sin. So- technically- Mom might have been a fugitive. Sort of. And I even heard her say stuff along the lines of how she was ready to leave any day now....
I got that she was worried and even paranoid to some degree but... but I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t want to leave behind such comfort.
Comfort? Is comfort the reason why I don’t want to go?
What about love? What about Family and friends? What about Mom?
The more I thought about it, the more shit I felt; the vaguer my reasons became. I was just using these people. I was manipulating their trust. And I never even got to say I wasn’t just a five-year-old. Though I had a feeling they knew to some extent.
In the end, did I deserve their trust? Did I deserve their love?
***
I was trapped in a melancholy.
The days passed but they passed slowly. With each passing day, the dreaded feeling only got worse and worse. Yet I had to hold it in. I had to smile in front of her. And she had to smile in front of me. But we both knew... neither of us were smiling.
Mom had initially wanted to leave with me. But upon realizing the church was pretty much onto us or rather her, she had no other choice. I understood that. I really did. Yet....
Sigh.
The days passed slowly. But eventually they just passed. And my birthday arrived. I woke up early, and left home. My destination... the cave; I didn’t tell Mom since she wouldn’t approve. Serec saw me, but weirdly didn’t stop me, and just trailed me instead. I took some jerky, and traveled all on my own.
These days, I knew my way around the forest somewhat and could easily avoid low rank fiends. Low ranks were mostly just two headed deer and birds. For their part, they tended to avoid me too. With no mid rank fiends present, it was a walk in the park- err- forest.
Anyway, I eventually made it to the cave and upon entrance was greeted by a familiar shit smell.
On the second floor I was greeted by the white lizard squad. There were about twelve of them. And I’d brought about thirteen pieces of jerky.
I wasn’t supposed to come today and they had no way of knowing. Yet, they knew. Meaning, the lizard had at least the basic idea of what I was thinking. “I know you’re around,” I said. “I’m leaving for a journey tonight. I won’t be back for years. Mom or maybe one of her friends will bring your meat here. Can’t say much about whether it’d be weekly or monthly but-”
Trickle....
The lizard dropped from the ceiling. Unlike last time, I didn’t jump back. I knew it wouldn’t hurt me.
“Ke k eke!”
I never liked that laugh. But oh well. “So, this is goodbye for now,” I said, handing the bag full of jerky. It bit into the bag, but didn’t touch the meat and instead gave the stuff to its kids?
That said, I turned and left.
~Call upon us. When danger prevails.
The words reverberated in my mind and I felt tranquil for a few seconds before the nauseating smell made me regurgitate some spit... argh.
Glad I didn’t have breakfast.
***
I came back and Mom didn’t really ask me questions. She probably thought I’d gone out for a walk. Which was good and I wanted to keep it that way.
So, I gave Serec a wink and he winked back. These past few days he’d been camping outside our house during the night. Serec was touted as one of the strongest of the village. And any sane person wouldn’t really want to mess with him. Or so I’d been told. He’d camp outside for the night and when morning came, just leave without a word. He sometimes joined us for breakfast but today wasn’t one of those days.
“You reek,” Mom said. “Cave?”
I might have forgotten how sharp her intuition was for a second there. “Yeah.”
Mom let out an exaggerated sigh and gave me a look of disapproval. “Go shower. We’re expecting guests.”
She’d cleaned up the living room and neatly decorated the place. We were going to have a party. A tea party of sorts.
Good enough for me. It was just that... every time I thought I was going to leave... my chest shivered and I felt... odd.
“The goat never really come huh?” I wondered aloud.
“She... won’t be back,” Mom said. I tried not to think too much about the deeper meaning behind those words.
I went and got a shower. Before I could wiggle out of the pond though, Lyra saw me. Not just her, Lia too. She took one look at me, looked away, and then turned back to me for another look and repeated that for a while. Was she embarrassed? It’s not like you’re the one being peeked at.
Anyway, we went in and Mom greeted them as usual.
***
Many of Mom’s friends had come; Xena, Serec, Xerec. Some of mine did too. Jarb and Tan. Unfortunately, the fatty couldn’t make it. “He’ll come swing by the evening though. Said he wanted to tell you something,” Jarb said.
Next came Derec. The only guy I hadn’t seen in a while was Aluc, the team spotter. Apparently, he was out in an excursion to the capital and would be back next year. Guess, I’ll never see him again. Then again, we never spoke a word, ever, so I wasn’t going to miss him.
“Sure.”
Mom served everyone her trademark soup. But it wasn’t just soup today. We had roasted fowl, wheat bread and rice too! A feast!
I wasn’t feeling it though. The food was amazing. Perhaps the best I’d tasted so far. And it wasn’t just because Mom cooked it all. The food really was good. But-
Sigh.
Den came late. He greeted us and sat down a bottle of what I could only describe as... wine.
White and cloudy and when I took a sip it was sweet and really cold. Not alcoholic at all. Date juice.
“I had to keep it cold with ice,” Den showed the wet bag he was carrying it in. “Ever seen ice Sol?”
Some crystalline solid chunks floated in that pool of cold ass water.
“Nope,” I lied as I breathed, touched one wet cube and- “COLD!” The other kids also hurried and took the cubes in their hands, watching it melt on our very palms.
“Cold! Cold!” Well, they sure seemed have fun. Mom and the others laughed too.
We all took small sips and the juice was pretty much gone by the time I took a second sip. There were no date palms around these parts. And winter never touched the woods either. So that meant Den probably went far to get this. So that’s why you were gone.
A smile ran across my face. I couldn’t suppress it. People were chatting. They were laughing. And... although this was only possible because I was here... it still gave me hope they’ll be fine even if I wasn’t.
Besides Mom was fine all this time. She’ll be fine in the future too. I did accuse Den and I did think he’d try stuff but maybe it was better he did. If Mom was happy, I was going to be happy.
So yeah... it was fine.
