13 
Although the London Games were a success, nothing could prepare me for the months that followed . . . What happened literally changed the course of my life. While training for London, I had begun receiving emails, tweets, and Facebook messages about a family in Russia. Reporters were claiming that they had found my biological family. They wanted me to come to Moscow after competing and reunite with this so-called family on a TV talk show. Here I was, preparing for a huge competition, trying to remain focused, while completely blindsided by news of this family—the family I had always dreamed of meeting but never expected to hear from. I later learned that the U.S. Olympic Committee, my family, and my agent were all receiving messages about my Russian family. They had decided to wait until after the Games to tell me. They had no clue that I had been exposed to the news and was already trying to deal with it.
I will never forget walking back to the USA building in London and overhearing some woman with a Russian accent saying, “We found Jessica Long, we’ve got her.” She then handed me a note with a phone number on it and information about where to meet my Russian family. I was so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to believe or what I should do with this information. I decided to focus on competing and deal with all of this when I got back to the States.
When I first got back home to Baltimore, I spent a day sleeping, relaxing, and catching up with my family. The next day, we received an email with a link to a Russian television talk show. The program introduced my biological parents. It was surreal to view this family claiming to be my family. I had a Russian friend help me translate some of it, but I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know how to act. All I felt was confusion.
Still, part of me had to admit that I was fascinated. I learned that this was my real biological family, my mother had married my father, and they had three other children together: Anastasia, Dasha, and Oleg. I was the oldest, but my sister was less than two years younger than I was. I even received a Facebook message from Anastasia. She wrote that she heard about having an older sister when she was eight years old, and she had planned to come find me when she could. I was used to the idea of my Russian mother, but the thought of having a biologically related little sister was incredible to me. I can honestly say I loved her right away. It took me a while to get used to the idea of having a father and two other siblings, who are twins. The whole thing was just hard to wrap my head around.
Once all the excitement from London had subsided, my life mostly returned to normal. I took about six months off to travel for appearances, and I kept myself too busy to deal with my emotions.
I didn’t really know how to address my new family in Russia. I became a little detached from the idea of them. I think being a professional athlete is partly to blame for the way I can hold my emotions in check. In swimming, during a tough set, we have to push through and ignore any pain we feel. I did that when it came to my Russian family. I wish I had shared more of what I was feeling with my friends and loved ones. I had so many questions about my new family; there was so much I wanted to know: Why did they give me up? Did they love me now only because of my swimming success? Did they ever want me or think about me? I think the quote “Overthinking leads to negative thoughts” is a pretty accurate description of what was going on with me at that time. Swimming has always been the place where I clear my head, but not this time: I would think nonstop about my Russian family.
On top of all that news, I was going through a classic case of post-Paralympic depression. I had spent the last four years of my life training for London. Everything builds up to the competition, and then it is over. Just like that. The event I had spent so long visualizing, working toward, and focusing on was finished. I struggled a lot in the months following London. In truth, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next.