36

 

I saw Dr. Smithfield in the park today.

He was rounding the bend near the grove of trees, but he was on the opposite side of the walking path, near the railroad tracks. I cut across the park to intercept him.

“Good morning, Dr. Smithfield.”

“Lauren, how are you today?”

“I’m fine. The summer job you offered me a while back, if it’s still available, I’ll take it.”

He smiled. “Good! Good! Let me know when you can start. I’m converting to a digital filing system, so you will have plenty to keep you busy. Patients’ files need to be scanned into the new system. And of course, everything is confidential.”

“Of course,” I said.

“Great! Let me know when you can start. Larraine, my office manager, will certainly appreciate the help.”

I watched him and his little white dog until they were out of sight. Then I went over to a bench near the river and sat down. I felt good. I actually felt free. I was making decisions about my own life. My life was in my hands.

Attending church with Tiffany and family had been the turning point for me. I was learning to trust in God. I didn’t feel empty inside anymore. I wanted to be part of their church community. I’d felt alive there, like I could face anything.

I had nothing against the city of Atlanta, but I wanted to stay here and finish this part of my life. I wanted to grow in faith, and I definitely could do that here.

The river was clear today. I didn’t know where the logs I saw in it yesterday ended up. Did they go downstream to St. Louis and then flow into the Mississippi River or did someone intercept them? The water had receded to normal levels. The sun’s rays shone down upon the water, and it seemed as if the ripples were dancing in the sunlight.

There was so much I wanted out of life now that I had time to actually think about it. Mom seemed to understand that being here my senior year was best for me.

I still had so much to figure out, like where I wanted to go to college. Since my life had turned upside down, the things that I used to care about I didn’t care about anymore. I just wanted to live a good, normal life with good friends around me. I wanted to follow my heart where it led me and not be concerned whether I lived in the best part of town or not. I didn’t need to be around the “best” people with all their connections.

I wanted to be happy. And I didn’t know what all that entailed. I just wanted to be happy.

 

****

 

After school Callie, Stacie, Melanie, and I entered the parking lot. Steffy was leaving in my car. She had the top down.

“Do you girls want a ride?” Steffy asked. “Especially you, Lauren. You can see how smooth the ride in your car is. I feel like I’m floating on air every time I drive it.”

“No, I’d rather walk than ride with you.” I said and kept walking.

“You don’t have to hate on me because your old man had to sell your car. Let’s face it, we all have hard times.”

“I can’t wait until yours comes,” Callie said.

“My daddy owns his own business,” Steffy said. “He knows how to manage money without stealing it.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Stacie asked. “Lauren’s father was cleared.”

“For now,” said Steffy. “You never know what can come up with a little digging.”

“You are so mean!” Melanie said. “I don’t know why we wanted you as a friend anyway.”

“Bring it!” Steffy said as she drove off.

By the time Callie, Stacie, and Melanie caught up with me I was getting into Mom’s car.

“Are you OK?” asked Callie.

“I’m trying to be,” I said.

“We’re here for you,” Callie said. “Where do you want to go?”

“I’m OK. Really.” I drove away.

And I really was OK. I went straight home. I didn’t have to go on a long drive to clear my head. I didn’t have to have a pity party with my friends and talk about Steffy. I needed none of that.

She couldn’t hurt me anymore.