Checklist for HealthMoney isn’t everything....
But it ranks right up there with oxygen.
— RITA DAVENPORT
Finances! This is one of the most emotionally charged topics ever. And it’s a topic necessary for all of us to address, regardless of our situation. For centuries it was taboo to talk of finances and impolite to ask others about their salaries. Money was something talked about behind closed doors or maybe not even discussed at all. In America, until the 1950s, husbands took care of the household finances, giving their wives an allowance to use for the week. Generous husbands gave their wives money for the groceries and the children’s expenses, and maybe a few dollars on the side so the women could get their hair done. But women who didn’t work did not have a safety net in case their husbands died or left them. With women in the workplace, things have changed, but our knowledge of finances and money hasn’t.
According to an analysis of Federal Reserve statistics and other government data, as of 2014 the average household owes $7,274 on their credit cards.1 But if we take into account only the indebted households, those numbers change to an average of $15,593 in household credit card debt, $153,184 in mortgage debt, and $32,511 on student loan debt. Twenty-five percent of U.S. households have more credit card debt than emergency savings.2 The message is clear: when it comes to finances, we have a serious problem.
Your Financial Situation and Your Health
Do not fool yourself into believing your finances do not affect your health. Have you ever in your life worried about money? Have you ever wondered where you would get the money to pay the next bill, cover the rent or mortgage, or fix the broken car? Have you felt the discomfort in talking with your spouse about money, cringing at the thought that it may even start an argument? Even if you’re doing fine financially, have you ever gotten upset after lending money to a friend or family member in need, only to have them never pay you back?
Increased stress leads to increases in stress hormones, ulcers, a depressed immune system, and higher blood pressure. Worries about money affect relationships and our emotional well-being.
Money affects us on every level. And our belief about money guides us in ways that we sometimes don’t even understand. Our upbringing taught us a fair amount about money even if it wasn’t talked about. But most of us haven’t been formally taught how to manage it.
According to Ayurveda, money is energy; and part of our duty is to attract it into our life without greed. Artha, or the accumulation of wealth as a householder — and one of the four aims of life — is regarded as a necessity. Money flows in and out of our lives. It’s actually an ebb and flow. But with our own will, desires, and anxiety or fear, we can prevent the two-way flow of money, wealth, and abundance in our lives. Therefore, we must stay mindful of our thoughts and actions surrounding money, avoiding either holding on to it too tightly or spending it unwisely.
The doshas rule our natural propensities regarding money and wealth, to some extent. Vata types make money easily but also spend it easily, especially on trivialities, and they often find themselves broke. Pitta types work hard to accumulate money and wealth but also have expensive tastes: they enjoy spending money on luxuries. Kapha types are good at saving and holding on to their money.
Getting Rid of a Poverty Mind-Set
Most of us have been brought up with poverty consciousness, a mind-set that says, “I don’t have enough.” You’ve heard people say things like: “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” “We can’t afford it,” “I’m living paycheck to paycheck,” and “Once I win the lottery, I’ll start enjoying life.” Do you realize that by thinking you won’t have enough, you won’t?
I grew up in a household where my mother incessantly told us we were poor. We always heard: “We’re poor; we can’t afford it.” She literally conditioned us to believe it. I hated hearing those words. But internally, I never really believed them. Yes, she was a single mother and had had to wait tables to put herself through college and pay the bills. But here’s the startling thing: even when she was a seasoned schoolteacher making seventy thousand dollars a year, she still said she was poor. The mind-set never changed. At nineteen, when I began to travel the world, I saw real poverty. I realized that in the United States we’re not poor. While we may say we’re poor, we have a roof over our heads, a television, and a car. According to other countries in the world, we are rich. Perspective is everything.
Poverty mind-set poisons abundance and wealth consciousness. I once saw a special edition of the Oprah Winfrey Show, which she had recorded in India. She visited a home in the slums of Mumbai, where she found a family of four — a husband, wife, and two daughters — living in a hundred-square-foot home. Now imagine, the entire home measured ten feet by ten feet. In that home, they prepared meals, ate, played, and slept. The bathroom was outdoors. The husband went to work on a moped and spent much of his earnings to send his daughters to private school. Here’s the surprising part: they had few material possessions and necessities, but they were happy. They considered themselves not poor but middle class.
You can have little money but feel rich, and you can have an abundance of money and feel poor. It is all about the way you think.
Exercise: Taking Stock of Your Beliefs about Money
Be honest with yourself as you complete the following prompts. There are no right or wrong answers. Simply be aware of your beliefs. Once you have this awareness, you can choose to keep your beliefs or change them.
1. When I was growing up, I believed the following about money:
2. Phrases my parents or other caretakers repeated to me about money:
3. Now my current financial situation is:
4. Phrases about money that I repeat to myself now:
Honoring Money as Energy: Giving to Receive
As I mentioned, poverty consciousness and wealth consciousness are mind-sets. Even if you’re stuck in poverty consciousness, you can train your mind to replace it with abundance consciousness. It’s not an easy thing to do, but with consistent training it’s possible.
Practicing Gratitude
I’ve mentioned this already, but it bears repeating: being thankful for what is already in your life is the best way to notice wealth and abundance. Every day, say thank you to your creator, thank your spouse or lover and your children for being in your life. Thank your friends, colleagues, and anyone who touches your life. Notice how much you have in your life already, even if your bank account is empty. Look at your home, your furniture, your car, your clothing, your dishes, your clean drinking water — everything in your life. Then expand this consciousness to encompass the earth. Gaze at the sun, notice the birds, the trees, the flowers, the animals. Appreciate nature’s beauty and your ability to appreciate it. Give thanks for your five senses, your limbs, and for your health. You are truly blessed and abundant.
Giving to Others
You may wonder how giving is going to make you rich and abundant. Remember that money is energy, and what you give out comes back to you. Every religion teaches about giving. Everything I’ve read about creating wealth states the same thing, that you must give a portion of what you have if money is to come to you. Many philosophies believe that you should give 10 percent of your gross earnings, which means before taxes. Financial guru Suze Orman states in her book The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom that you should ask your inner voice how much to give. If your inner voice says 5 percent, heed that inner wisdom. If your inner voice tells you to give 10 percent and you give only 5 percent, you will retain your poverty consciousness. Trusting that there is enough will prove to you there is. When you hold back, frightened by the prospect that you will lack sufficient money, you continue to embrace poverty and wear its shackles.
Let me share a story about an experience I had in France. While in college, I was staying with a French family who would be considered middle class by European standards. They lived well but were not rich. While I stayed there, we always ate very well. We would begin the meal with a small appetizer followed by a vegetable, such as grilled asparagus with dressing. Next came the meat dish, which consisted of a piece of meat divided among all those seated at the table, including the guests. Then we always ate a small salad, yogurt or cheese, and a piece of fruit for dessert. Throughout the meal, we had pieces of baguette. What surprised me was that the main dish, the meat or fish, was always cut to accommodate the guests. If another guest showed up, no problem; everyone’s share simply got a little smaller. The host wouldn’t flinch at all and would simply make do. She would never apologize for not having enough food, but would feel proud to allow into her home, and feed, whoever was there.
When I returned to the United States, I noticed how differently people would approach the same situation. If a host didn’t have a steak for each person, she would either go out and buy more or invite fewer people. In her mind, there wasn’t enough. Do you see how the French family exhibited the consciousness of abundance?
My experience taught me to put generosity into practice. I am committed to giving away 10 percent of my income before I spend it on anything else, including bills. Orman suggests writing your check for the charity or person you’re giving it to before you receive your pay; that way you’re even more committed. When you receive your pay, send your gift right away. But of course, never get into debt in order to give. In other words, don’t put your gift on your credit card if you cannot pay off that bill straightaway.
Exercise: A Commitment to Financial Giving
Some religions call financial giving tithing. The idea is to give a portion of your income to a charitable cause. In this exercise, you will decide how much you will give and who you will give it to. And if you’re not sure now how much you can afford, commit to giving some amount and then readjust it later.
How much are you committed to giving?
Who will you give to?
Finally, giving is always between you and your creator. Never fret about where the money is going to go or how it will be spent. Do your research and choose wisely, but in the end you are giving to give. Your gift must be unconditional for it to work. You are sending the message to the universe that the money isn’t really yours anyway. It’s a gift, just like what you are giving away.
Your Plan to Abolish Debt and Create Wealth in Your Life
We have now ascertained that your health is directly linked to your financial state. And debt can weigh you down and keep you in servitude to your creditors. If you have no debt, congratulations! You are doing a great job financially. You can skip over this section, or you can read it to make sure you never let yourself go into debt.
Most of us in the United States have a certain amount of debt, whether it is credit card debt, a car loan, a mortgage, or personal debt. I’ve read many books on personal finance, and a couple of authors I’ve found helpful are Ric Edelman and Suze Orman. I recommend reading some of their books if you’d like to do a complete personal-finance overhaul. But for now, here are a few pointers to get you started on abolishing debt.
1. Make a List of All Your Debts and Get Real about the Amounts
No use hiding from yourself. You will have to pay those debts anyway. Keep the debtor, amount due, and minimum payments due on a spreadsheet.
2. Start Paying Off the Small Debts First
When you pay off a small debt, you can compound your payments on larger debts. This is a psychological move I learned from Ric Edelman. It may seem illogical to wipe out the smaller debt first when the higher debts may have higher interest rates. What Edelman explains is that our psyche gets excited about wiping out a debt, and in the long run it will actually become easier to pay off all debts this way. Let me give you an example:
Let’s say you owe $252 to a department store, $455 to Visa, and $2,400 on your MasterCard. The minimum payments are as follows: $25, $35, and $75. You know you can add $50 extra to get rid of your debts. You will then pay $75 to the department store, $35 to Visa, and $75 to MasterCard. You will continue to do this until the department store card is paid off. Now, we’re assuming that you are not accumulating any more debt on any of these cards in the meanwhile. Once you’ve eradicated the debt on the department store card, you will take the $75 and apply it each month to the Visa card. Your payments will now be $110 to Visa and $75 to MasterCard. You are still paying $185 total — but do you see that it looks much better to be able to pay more toward the second credit card once the first is paid off? After the Visa card is paid off, apply the whole $185 to MasterCard.
3. Never Stay Indebted to Friends and Family
Your family and your friends are your lifelines. If you borrow money from them, pay them off first. Joe’s Plumbing or American Express can wait. They are companies and have no investment in your personal life. Yes, they are charging interest, but relationships are more important than money. Value your relationships and the trust you have developed there. Even if friends or family say to you, “It’s no big deal; pay me when you can,” believe me, it is a big deal. Your integrity, your trustworthiness, and your self-worth all lie in the fact that you can and will repay your family and friends who had the kindness to lend to you.
This concept I learned from motivational speaker and author Anthony Robbins. Set aside amounts each month that you will invest, that you will add to your retirement fund, and that you will add to your emergency savings. Time is money, and the sooner you invest in yourself, the more time your money will have to compound.
5. Do Not Forgo Your Retirement Fund to Save for Your Children’s College Tuition
Orman explains that this is the biggest mistake most parents make. If you do not save for your retirement, who will save for you, and who will take care of you financially when you do retire? If there is a choice between saving for your children’s college tuition and investing money for retirement, always choose retirement. Your children, after college, will be young enough and have the potential for earning that you will not have. They can take on the burden of student loans if there isn’t any other choice. You, on the other hand, will have nothing, and no one to rely on, during your retirement years. If the money isn’t here now, it won’t be there when you retire.
6. Educate Yourself and Begin Talking about Money
The more you read about personal finance, the less you will fear it. I have a recommended-reading list at the end of this book that will help you get started. The books listed there are my personal favorites, and I’m sure you will find them useful and their principles easy to apply.
Talking about money, as I mentioned, makes most people uncomfortable. If you share expenses with someone, such as a spouse, partner, or family member, start the conversation. Realize that the more comfortable you become while talking about money, the easier it will become. When you begin the conversation, state the fact that there is nothing innately personal about money. It’s an object, a concept, and energy — and that’s all. It is not tied to our personalities, so no one should get offended. You and your spouse, partner, or family member may have different beliefs about money, but make a pact stating that the goal is to create healthy spending patterns, not to give or take personal jabs.
If you have children, talk to them often about money. Give them a little money to manage, and explain to them about giving and investment. Children as young as five can understand the concept of money. Be mindful of the conversations about money that you have around your children and the catch-phrases you use. Remember, your children are listening to you and forming their own beliefs about money.
7. Celebrate Money by Designating Fun Money
Often when we feel a sense of lack, we punish ourselves by paying everyone else and maybe investing but not treating ourselves to something nice or fun. You work hard for your money. If you can’t enjoy it, then what’s it all for? Set aside each month an amount that seems reasonable to you and simply have fun with it. Buy that hundred-dollar pair of shoes you’ve been wanting. Get a great massage. Take a couple friends out to an upscale restaurant. Stay within your fun-money budget, but enjoy it without guilt.
If we don’t do this, we create a rubber-band effect. We hold back and deprive ourselves so much that the rubber band snaps and we find ourselves going wild. We feel so deprived that we go out and charge a thousand dollars on the credit card all at once. Then, after doing that, we feel bad and return to deprivation mode. Can you see the destructive pattern? So make the decision today about the amount you can designate as your fun money. If you’re married, and one parent stays at home with the children, that parent gets fun money too. When I was married we called this don’t-ask money. Each of us put an equal amount into the household budget, and we could do whatever we wanted with it. The other person could not ask, under any circumstances, what the money was spent on. It could have been a hundred chocolate bars. It didn’t matter. We all deserve to create a healthy balance in our finances.
Take a look at your finances today. Do you believe your financial state can be affecting your health?
What is your mind-set concerning money? For you, does money have a positive connotation or a negative one?
Practice gratitude daily for all the things you have.
Give something to someone each day. Train your brain to be 100 percent certain that there is more than enough money to go around.
Create a plan to abolish any debt you may have.
Pick out two books on personal finance and begin reading them.
If you share expenses with someone, plan a conversation about healthy spending or budgeting.
Designate an amount for your fun money and stick to it.