Nagging is the most ancient and universally practised, but perhaps the least celebrated, of all the female arts. Nagging has been with us for some 160 000 years, ever since the earliest homo sapiens was told to go right back outside the cave and wipe his filthy, hairy feet because he was tracking in dirt on the animal skin rugs.
“Oh, no! I’ve just cleaned that!” is a female phrase which has reverberated in the halls of human habitation since the dawn of civilisation.
Throughout the millennia, nagging has been, if not at the heart, then certainly in the ear, of most human endeavour. Nagging has precipitated the rise and fall of empires, the discovery of new continents, the majority of advances in technology, the establishment of towns, cities and nicer bathrooms, and the transport of many, many millions of tonnes of rubbish, clothing and utensils from one location to another.
Despite this astonishing record of achievement, naggers have never been accorded their rightful place in the pages of history. Instead, they have been maligned and ridiculed, blamed and shamed, banished, burned and beheaded.
While menfolk remain ignorant and dismissive of the intricacies and skills involved in nagging, all women know that an expert nagger employs the wisdom of the Oracle of Delphi, the cunning of Cleopatra, the bravery of Boadicea, the lung capacity and indefatigability of Dame Nellie Melba and the sheer determination and bloody mindedness of Margaret Thatcher.
Unfortunately, in these modern times, the art of nagging is in danger of being lost to future generations of women, along with so many other traditional domestic skills — fruit bottling, jam making, darning, flower arranging, embroidery and crochet. The reasons for the decline in the frequency and quality of nagging are manifold but, at last, help is at hand.
Nagging for Beginners aims to re-acquaint wives and girlfriends with the age-old rewards of nagging by offering a beginner’s guide to the variety and techniques of this ancient art.
I hope you get much enjoyment and the results you seek from this small book. Remember, whenever your partner complains that you nag, the answer is: “If you did it the first time I asked, I wouldn’t have to nag.”
Enjoy,
Wendy Harmer