Excerpt from The Official Residents’ Guide to Moon Base Alpha, “Appendix A: Potential Health and Safety Hazards,” © 2040 by National Aeronautics and Space Administration

TOILETS

The toilets at Moon Base Alpha are not like the ones you are used to on earth. To counteract the lack of water and minimal gravity, the space toilets use suction instead. Please exercise extreme caution around the suction hoses and vacuum bowl, as they can cause harm to any body parts caught in them accidentally. In addition, do not dispose of any garbage down the toilets other than human waste, as this could cause blockages that could then lead to burst pipes, ruptured tubes, or even explosions of fecal matter—which are not only dangerous, but unsanitary as well.