Chapter Forty-Four

 

Lucas had been to the Buenavista home on at least one occasion. He hadn't realized the entire family lived in one place. The three Buenavista men were at least in their twenties or older.

Two were involved, heavily, with Tri-Bridge, but the youngest was in med school or something.

He' never found anything specifically to connect the any of the three to the trafficking ring; they'd done one hell of a job hiding those ties somehow.

A team from ICE was already in the process of serving their warrants. Luc had been the subject of a few search warrants himself, but he felt no compassion or pity for these people. They were monsters, all of them.

Their mother stood at the front door, half-screaming obscenities in her cell. Luc pitied that person. He'd not heard language like that out of a woman in years—at least since he was living on the streets. Wow.

Mick Brockman handled the niceties with the ICE agents, but to Luc it looked like just a bunch of movers taking an office apart. Computers, file boxes, videos and dvds, all were carried to two large vans parked in the winding drive in front of the Buenavista home.

To Luc it wasn't anything exciting or special. It was just over.

He spent the next four hours with Brockman, watching as evidence was dragged out of the Buenavista home, Tri-Bridge, and the small penthouse apartment at the top of the Tri-Bridge building.

He didn't feel triumphant or anything like that. His mind kept replaying the faces of the victims he'd helped, ending with little Lucy.

Eight years of his life had been devoted to finding these people, and there they stood. Not a one of them looked the least bit afraid—or contrite.

To them it was just business, wasn't it?

It sickened him. He needed Payton. Needed her bad.

He turned to Brockman. "I need out of here. I can't do this anymore. I'm finished with these people completely."

Luc stopped just inside the guestroom. She slept, curled under an old quilt. It wasn’t his; he wasn’t the type for quilts decorated in rings of blue and white. Silk duvets were more his style.

He stood where he was for ten minutes. Twenty. He lost track, never really kept it. All he’d ever longed for since he was old enough to yearn was in that bed, under that quilt.

He needed her. So much that the very thought of that vulnerability in himself had the breath skipping from his chest. He had a fist lodged next to his heart, stealing the space the damned organ needed to work.

Finally, as quietly as he could to keep from waking her, he stepped over to the bed. There was a small window in the room, cut directly into the steel container that formed the outer wall of the room. Enough moonlight made its way into the room to just highlight the paleness of her hair, her skin against the green silk her headed rested on. He favored silk in his house, and most was dark in color.

Like his damned soul.

She shifted on the bed. He dragged in a deep breath; he hadn’t wanted to wake her. “Luc? What’s wrong?”

Nothing. Everything. What was wrong was that he…needed…her. “I…”

“What time is it?”

“Around six.” She’d left him in the living room two hours ago. He’d sat there and thought of what she’d said before they’d turned to dealing with the human trafficking. Could he do it? Had he ever been fully honest with a woman he cared about?

He didn’t think so. Because he didn’t think he’d ever cared about a woman like this. Was it like this for all men, when they fell for a woman? He could remember Manny going on and on about women. For all his charms, Manny had some antiquated ideas about females. Or at least, Luc had always assumed so.

Treat your woman right, when you find her. Had been one of Manny’s favorites. So had hold on tight; there’s nothing worse than losing your woman when you find her.

Luc had discounted Manny’s advice as that of an old devout Catholic, raised by extremely strict parents. Manny had been old-school, in everything, and Luc had often butted heads with his guardian over the ideas. To Manny, sex had equated love.

Luc had never believed in that kind of love. He did believe Manny had loved his late wife, but he wasn’t certain. Manny hadn’t offered the information; Luc hadn’t asked.

“Have you slept at all?”

“I’m good.”

She sat up, and the blanket fell back. She wore a big t-shirt with the Cards logo emblazoned across her breasts. Her hair was tangled. “What do you need, Luc?”

“Yes.” Need. Four simple letters that summed up everything right there.

“That’s not an answer.” She reached over and flipped on the small lamp. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He just stared at her, wanting to burn her image into his mind forever.

“Then what are you doing in here?”

“I…” Honesty; she needed honesty. “I need you.”

“How? What’s wrong now?”

“Why does anything have to be wrong?”

“You’re standing over me, staring, two hours after we—I—went to bed. What is it?” She flipped the quilt back and started to stand. He stepped closer, and wrapped a hand in that tangled hair. He tilted her head back, exposing her neck. He brushed a quick kiss against her pulse. Her heart rate sped up. “Luc! I thought we…”

“We agreed on nothing. You told me your terms and I had to decide if I thought they were reasonable. I think they’re more than reasonable. But Payton? I don’t just want a relationship, like you said. Romantic or otherwise, I want everything. Including truth like you put it.”

“Everything? What is that supposed to mean?”

She wasn’t pushing him away. In fact, her hands were clinging to the front of his shirt. That gave him hope. “Just what it sounds like.”

“And what is that?”

“The whole shebang.” He cupped the back of her head in one hand and slipped the other around her waist. He tucked her up against his chest. He’d never felt more nervous in his life.

Blue eyes looked into his, so puzzled and confused. “And what is that?”

Luc spoke slowly. “Everything. You, me. Together. You know, like together, together. No hiding it, no denying it. As permanent as we can make it.”

“And how do we do that? I’m still not sure what you’re asking.”

“Are you being deliberately obtuse?” He shook her side to side gently. She was going to make him spell it all out, wasn’t she? Honesty, complete honesty. “I want you to move in here. Live with me, the dogs, all of it. We build a relationship together one day at a time.”

“Are you serious?”

Not the response he’d expected. The fist clenched around his guts tightened. “Fucking yes, I’m serious.”

“After knowing you not quite a month. A month in which we’ve only spent a total of maybe three of four days together tops.”

“But those days were enough to show me exactly what I want. And when I want something, truly want something, I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make that a reality. And I’ve never wanted anyone more.”

“And you’ve decided you want me, and regardless of how I feel, you’re going forward? I don’t know, Luc. I don’t know how I feel about you, to be honest. I don’t know how I feel about any of this.” But she rested her head on his chest, against his heart.

“That’s what I’m saying. Move in here, so we can figure out exactly what it is that we do feel.”

“And if we decide we don’t want to be with each other? Then what? Then I’m living here, and won’t have anywhere else to go.”

“You think I’d just kick you out?”

“No. Of course not. But I’ve never lived with anyone. And I’m not sure I want to start now. Especially considering the circumstances of how I ended up here. I need normal. And to be honest, that is the last thing you are.”

Arrows through his heart. “So are you saying no?”

She pulled in a deep breath and he felt the movement of her chest against his. “I’m saying not now, and I’m confused and unsure. Let’s just figure out who’s responsible for these poor girls, and get things back to normal. Then I’ll go home and we can go more slowly.”

“I don’t think I can do slowly. I’ll go nuts if I’m not with you. I’m serious; I have a serious obsession for your building. You need to stay with me to keep me sane.” He was only half teasing. The thought of her leaving, of not seeing her every single day had him close to a damned panic attack.

“I’m starting to think you’re long past sane, or insane, however you want to put it.” She pulled back, a little, and looked up at him. “I won’t lie about this. Your offer is tempting, more than tempting. You drive me crazy, too, you know? I never know what you want, what you’re going to do or say.”

“And that’s a bad thing? I thought women liked a man of mystery.”

“Not when you use it to keep people away. I have a feeling why you do it.”

She let him scoop her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She wore nothing under the shirt. His hands tightened on the globes of her ass and he held her against him for a long moment. “And why is that?”

“Because you’re afraid. You don’t want anyone to know you, not really. Not me, not Cody, and certainly not Paige. Even your bodyguards, who’ve been with you for years and who are fiercely loyal, by the way—you don’t let them get near you emotionally. You can’t keep living like that, Luc.”

He gave her words some serious consideration. “I know, but it’s worked this long. Why should I change?” She closed her eyes, and his heart stopped. He’d said the exact wrong things, hadn’t he? “Baby…I…”

“You should change because you are alone, and you don’t have to be. But change only if you truly want to. You can’t change for anyone else. Just yourself.”