KATE TOOK A bite of her seafood linguini and, instead of groaning in satisfaction as she usually did at the Seascape, she had to force the food down. Lowering her knife and fork, she picked up her water and looked at Izzy, who sat across the table. “It’s no good. I can’t go on like this.”
“Can’t go on like what?”
“Keeping what I know from Marian. Wondering if Mac is going to show up again. My nerves are shot to pieces.”
“So, what are you going to do? Mac’s been gone for a week now, and you’ve heard nothing from him.” Izzy’s gaze was sympathetic. “I hate to say it, but I think you’re going to have to accept you’re unlikely to see him again.”
Kate’s chest ached with sadness. “You’re probably right, but I won’t keep his existence from Marian. I can’t even go into the bakery. I feel as though one look at me and she’ll know the last time I was in there talking about a supposedly hypothetical adoption case I was actually talking about hers.”
“Don’t you think she might’ve guessed that already, seeing as you’re usually in the bakery on a daily basis?”
“Probably.” Kate jabbed her fork into her food and pushed it around her plate. “I need to say something to her, Iz. This secrecy is eating me up.”
“Then tell her. I know I’d have to.”
Kate sighed. “I’ll have to tell her everything. That Mac was in town looking for his biological grandmother. That he already knew she lived in Templeton, but had no idea how to broach the subject with her, or even if he should.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Then he decided it was better to leave things be, but as I knew what was going on, I wasn’t comfortable keeping it from her. There, simple.”
Izzy shook her head, took a bite of her pizza and swallowed. “Nothing about this is simple. Nothing about Marian is simple. If your theory that something horrendous happened to her is correct, you have to be prepared for the fallout.”
“This is so damn hard.” Kate swapped her water for her wine and took a strengthening gulp. “The pain in Mac’s and Marian’s eyes is haunting me. I have to do something to bring closure for both of them. I could tell when I spoke to her that Marian is far from over what happened to her. I’m not even sure she’s come to terms with giving up her baby. She loves everyone. Will do anything for everyone. How hard must it have been for her to give up her child?” Tears clogged her throat and Kate swallowed. “It isn’t right that there’s a family out there she knows nothing about. She’s already lost the chance to ever know her son.” Kate looked at her watch. “She’ll be closing up now. It’s past six thirty.” She met Izzy’s gaze. “There’s no time like the present, right?”
“And what about Mac?”
“What about him?” Kate grabbed her wallet out of her purse. “He’s gone. It’s over. I have to do right by Marian now.”
“And if Mac comes back? What then?”
Kate’s heart beat faster as she put her wallet on the table. “Then nothing. I made it clear I wouldn’t keep this from Marian. If he hates me for telling her?” She shrugged. “So be it. I told him how much Marian means to me. God, I told him how much he means to me.” She pulled back her shoulders. “And he walked away anyway.”
Izzy stared at her, her expression inscrutable.
Kate frowned. “What?”
“I’m just worried, that’s all.”
“I know you are. So am I.”
“Don’t you think Mac’s reasons for keeping this new information from his family are valid? I’m not sure I wouldn’t do the same, considering all the time that’s passed.”
“So you think telling Marian that Mac is her grandson is the wrong thing to do?”
“I didn’t say that. You have to tell her. It’s just going to be incredibly hard, and I think afterward, things are going to be even harder. At least, for a while.”
Kate shook her head, tears in her eyes. “I really thought I was starting to get things in order.” She picked up her glass of wine and drained it. “I’m talking to Ali again. I’m even going to help with her wedding arrangements.”
The concern left Izzy’s eyes, and she smiled. “Well, that’s fantastic. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’ve had all this going on with Mac. I’ll be going to see Ali in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, when we’re together, we can finally both move on.”
Izzy picked up her water. “That’s great.”
Kate slipped a twenty on to the table. “Do you mind settling the bill? Now I’ve built up the courage to speak to Marian, I need to see her before I change my mind.”
“Sure.”
Kate stood. “She deserves to know she has a family out there. What she does about that is up to her, but my conscience will be clear.” Kate held Izzy’s doubtful gaze. “What now?”
“Nothing. I just care about you. I don’t want Marian or Mac to hold you culpable for whatever happens next.”
“Everything will be okay.” Kate pulled on her coat and smiled softly. “Thanks for being here for me, Iz.” Kate squeezed her friend’s shoulder. “I’ll call you later.”
“Make sure you do. I won’t be able to sleep until I know how it went.”
Kate nodded before heading for the restaurant door.
Outside, snow fell softly, a light wind making Kate step up her pace. Nerves jumped in her stomach and her mouth felt as though it were full of sand from Cowden beach, but she had to go through with talking to Marian.
In the week since Mac had left the Cove, her work had suffered, her appetite and her sleep drastically reduced. She missed him with a depth that was ridiculous considering the time they’d known one another. But her emptiness only served to emphasize her belief in what they could’ve had. She had been so independent, so unconcerned about men and relationships since Dean’s betrayal, but Mac had made her want to take a risk again...to feel again.
Now he was gone.
But Marian was here, living and working in the same town. How could she possibly avoid this conversation and ever look Marian in the eye again?
With that prospect at the forefront of her mind, Kate stopped outside the bakery. Marian was arranging trays behind the counter, her brow furrowed. Taking a deep breath, Kate knocked on the door.
Marian looked up, startled. Then her expression changed, first to alarm and then annoyance. Kate’s heart hammered as Marian slowly walked around the counter and across the length of the bakery to the front door. Their eyes locked through the glass, and Kate held herself still. She would not crumble. She would not run.
Marian opened the door wide. “I was wondering when you’d come back to finish our conversation. I’ve asked George to pick me up half an hour later than usual every night for the last week in case you came back. You’d better come in.”
* * *
AS THE TRAIN pulled into Templeton station, Mac thought over the conversations he’d had with his mother and Dana. His abrupt arrival back home had caused suspicion in his sister and relief in his mother. How stupid he’d been to think he could keep this secret to himself. His heart and mind had ached every day since he’d left the Cove.
And as for his feelings for Kate? He wanted her in his life. Desperately. God knew, she was already permanently in his heart.
Shouldering his bag, he grabbed his guitar from the vacant seat beside him and headed toward the exit. Tonight he would do everything he could to speak with Marian. After that, he would track down Kate and pray to God she still wanted him. That his panic, guilt and indecision hadn’t ruined something with the potential to be amazing.
Hurrying from the train, he made his way through the station and out into the street. Approaching the first cab in line, he climbed in the back. “The Coast Inn, please.”
“Right-o.”
Mac settled back against the seat and stared at the passing streets, his heart picking up speed when they drove along Templeton’s main road and out the other side. The taxi pulled into the Coast’s parking lot, and Mac gathered his belongings and stepped out onto the pavement. He pushed a ten-pound note through the window. “Keep the change.”
Mac headed inside, where a trio on stage was playing soft jazz, which went some way to calming his nerves. He looked around and caught a few nods from people he’d gotten to know a little.
He inhaled the scent of wood and beer, fried food and candle smoke, the smells somehow helping his need for familiarity and comfort. Why did it feel as though he’d come home when he’d just left his real home? Was Templeton where he was destined to be?
“Mac?”
Mac started and turned toward the bar. “Hey, Dave.” He walked closer. “How are you doing?”
Suspicion clouded Dave’s gaze, his palms flat on the bar. “I didn’t think we’d see you again.”
Mac leaned his guitar against the bar and dropped his bag to the floor. “Neither did I. Change of plans.”
“And those plans brought you back to the Cove again? Maybe you’re changing your mind about this small town you didn’t have much of a liking for when you first arrived.”
“You could say that.” Mac held the landlord’s gaze.
He got the distinct impression he had a long way to go to convince Dave and Vanessa he was a good guy, but Mac wasn’t one to give up on people easily. Testament to why he was back in Templeton. “Any chance my room is still free?”
“It could be.”
Mac raised his eyebrows. “Could be?”
“It’s empty, but it isn’t ready for guests.”
“Right. Well, any room is fine.”
Dave crossed his arms. “You’ve got a different look about you. You being here wouldn’t have anything to do with Kate, would it?”
The landlord’s wily observation brought unwelcome hurt, and Mac drew his focus to the band. “Partly. There’s other stuff I need to deal with, too.”
He turned and Dave dropped his arms. “I’ll let Vanessa know you’re back. I’m sure she’ll be happy. Why don’t you sit and have a beer while we sort out your room?”
Fearing a beer might impede his desire to talk to Marian right away, Mac shook his head. “I’ve got something I need to do. Could I leave my bag and guitar somewhere?”
“Sure. You can store them behind the bar.” Dave walked to a board behind the bar where the room keys were hung. He lifted one of them and handed it to Mac. “Here, take this. Your room should be ready by the time you get back. You know the procedure if we’re locked up for the night.”
Mac took the key. “Thanks. See you later.”
The sooner he spoke to Marian, the sooner some of the load weighing on his shoulders would lift. Although that mind-set was doing a pathetic job of alleviating his nausea.
He headed out and soon came to the bakery. Mac fought his hesitation and peered through the glass.
His heart stopped.
Kate.
Her hand in Marian’s.
Their expressions uncertain.
Was he too late? Had Kate told Marian about him? Damn it. Yet, how the hell could he blame her? Kate had told him she would share his story with Marian, and Kate’s integrity was just another reason to add to his list of why he loved her.
He had to get inside and explain himself.
He knocked on the door.
Kate and Marian leapt apart and stared wide-eyed toward him. Mac struggled to keep his face impassive. He drew on the strength it had taken him to get through Jilly’s funeral. His fixed composure then had gotten him through those horrible hours.
Marian shot to her feet, her smile wide as she came toward him and pulled open the door. “Mac! You’re back.”
Shock crumpled his demeanor, and he stiffened. She was glad to see him?
He returned her smile, his heart thumping. “Hey, Marian.”
She gripped his arm and propelled him inside. “Come in, come in. It’s so great to see you.”
Mac stumbled to a stop and stared at Kate. Slowly she stood and gently shook her head, her gaze full of warning.
Marian didn’t know. Kate hadn’t told her.
Relieved, he turned to Marian. “Am I disturbing you?”
“Not at all.” She gripped his arm. “Both of you take a seat. I’ll fire up the espresso machine. What a night this is turning out to be. Two young people brought together in my little bakery after hours...” She hummed a couple of notes. “Well, fancy that.”
There was no mistaking the glint in Marian’s eyes as she whipped her gaze between him and Kate. Matchmaking was on the older woman’s mind. Mac inhaled and slowly released it. He needed to tell Marian why he was really here before he even thought about mending his relationship with Kate.
He cleared his throat. “Marian...”
“Sit.” She pulled out a chair next to Kate, even as she remained standing. “And you, Kate. Sit down. Both of you.”
Kate stood stock still, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. Mac wasn’t sure she was actually breathing.
He slid his focus to Marian. “I came here to speak to you alone.”
The older woman’s smile. “You did?”
Guilt burned at his cheeks and he nodded. “Yes.”
“But...” She looked between Mac and Kate once...twice...three times... Slowly, she sat, her face paling. “No.” She gripped the table. “No.”
“Oh, Marian.” Kate rushed forward and slid her arm around Marian’s shoulders. “It’s okay.”
Marian shrugged her off, and Kate stepped back, fear of Marian’s distress showing in her eyes. Marian glared. “It’s not okay. You should go. I think it best you leave me and Mac to talk alone, don’t you?”
The icy tone of Marian’s voice raised every hair on Mac’s body as he watched Kate gather up her purse, as she looked from Marian to Mac. Hopelessness swirled in her pretty dark eyes, and her hand trembled when she lightly placed it on his arm before brushing past him toward the door.
Once the door shut, Mac sat next to Marian and looked her square in the eyes. She stared straight back...and her determined expression had never reminded him of his father more.