Thomas sat at the supper table, staring out of the kitchen window. Thoughts raced through his mind, the last splash of color on the western horizon unnoticed. Tonight would be a gut night to pay a visit to Eunice, he thought. Why should I wait any longer when my mind is made up?
“Thomas, do you want a piece of pie?”
His mamm’s voice jerked him out of his daze.
“He’s thinking about Susan so far away and gone.” His oldest sister, Lizzie, smirked. “He’s mourning the gut thing he’s lost.”
“No, I’m not. And don’t bring up Susan,” Thomas said. “I was thinking of better things.”
“Hah! Like there are any,” Lizzie said.
“You wouldn’t know.” Thomas tried to look calm as he finished the last bite on his plate. “And, yah, I’ll take some of your pie, Mamm.”
“Well, it sure wouldn’t be like you, passing up pie,” Mamm said. “I hope you’re feeling okay. Speaking of Susan, I’m sure you two can work out whatever your differences are. But I don’t see how it can be with her gone to that Englisha city. Of course, if that’s even true.”
“It is true,” Lizzie said. Two of the other sisters nodded as Lizzie continued, “And she’ll be getting herself into all kinds of trouble, if you ask me. You should have kept the girl under control while you had her, Thomas. Shame on you.”
“I tried to patch things up, but it didn’t work,” Thomas said in his defense.
“Then I take it you have broken up for good?” Daett said.
“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “But, yah, I guess it could be. It just sort of happened.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Daett said. “You made a nice couple.”
“Don’t go saying that,” Mamm said. “Thomas probably feels bad enough already.”
“Did she dump you?” Daett asked, cutting into his pie.
“Daett!” Mamm said. “Don’t be asking such things.”
Lizzie made a choking sound from her corner of the table.
Thomas glared in her direction. There was nothing more he had to say about the matter. He supposed all this was mostly his fault.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Mamm was saying. “It’s always hard—these things are. But they do happen.”
“That’s right.” Daett chewed on his pie. “Sometimes something will happen that takes two people in different directions.”
“Have you tried contacting Susan?” Mamm asked. “Perhaps you could write her a letter.”
Thomas laughed. “She’d probably tear the paper to pieces as soon as she saw the return address.”
Daett smiled. “Women do cool off over time, so don’t be so sure about that.”
“Well, I wouldn’t write him back,” Lizzie announced. “I’d make any boy suffer if he did to me what Thomas did to Susan.”
“Now, now,” Mamm said. “We all make mistakes. But you didn’t do anything inappropriate, did you, Thomas?”
“No, of course not.”
“He was sneaking around with her best friend, Eunice,” Lizzie said.
Thomas kept his mouth shut. Let Lizzie have her say. It was better to get this over with than to have it fester in everyone’s mind.
“You shouldn’t be accusing your brother,” Mamm said.
“Well, he did,” Lizzie said. “I heard it straight from a good source.”
“I didn’t realize what I was doing was that serious,” Thomas admitted. He finished the last piece of his pie. “Yah, I did speak with Eunice after hymn singing one night, and Susan didn’t like that. Now it’s over between us.”
“I think Thomas should visit Susan, wherever she’s at,” Margaret, the twelve-year-old, offered.
“Me? Go visit her?” Thomas said. “I don’t think so.”
“You never know what an apology given face-to-face might do,” Mamm said.
“Is the girl worth that much?” Daett asked.
“Daett!” Mamm said again. “Don’t push the boy too far.”
“She’s worth a whole lot,” Thomas said. “I just don’t think it would work. Plus, I’ve never been out of Indiana. Besides, it might not be that simple anyway. Susan might have someone else by now. Perhaps an Englisha man. I mean, she’s out in the world. Not that I think she’d do anything wrong, but I figure there are plenty of men who would be interested in her.”
“You shouldn’t be so down on yourself,” Daett said, getting up and patting Thomas on the shoulder. “Never let your thinking of yourself stand in the way of speaking to a woman, son. Look at me and the charming woman I got. Why, every boy in the community was clamoring to take her home after the singings. Well, I walked in, spoke to her, and that was all there was to it!”
“You did not!” Mamm’s cheeks were red.
“Come on now,” Daett teased.
Mamm offered a small smile. “You were something, I have to admit.”
“See!” Daett said. “I’m an expert in such matters. Be a man and go after the woman, Thomas!”
“But not to the Englisha city!” Mamm gasped. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It could be dangerous.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Daett agreed. “That is not the way of our people. And now I think we’ve pestered poor Thomas with enough advice for one evening. Don’t you agree?”
“We’re so sorry that things didn’t turn out well, Thomas,” Mamm said.
Thomas nodded as Daett bowed his head for the closing supper prayer. After Daett finished, Thomas went up to his room and changed into a clean shirt and pants. If Susan had suspected the worst about him and Eunice, and if it was all over between them, then why not consider seeing Eunice? He had nothing more to lose.
Leaving his room, he passed Lizzie in the stair hallway.
“You changed your clothes. Where are you going?” Lizzie asked.
“Out!” he said, not slowing his pace. “And keep your mouth shut about it.”
“Mamm and Daett will see you,” she said.
He didn’t answer as he closed the stair door behind him. Of course they would see him, but that wasn’t the problem. It would be seeing Eunice that was the problem, and so he wouldn’t tell them. It was that simple.
“I’ll be back before long,” he said to Mamm in the kitchen. Daett hadn’t looked up in the living room, thankfully. Mamm could pass on the information if Daett asked. Likely Daett wouldn’t care as long as he wasn’t sleepy tomorrow morning for work.
“You’re not up to something you shouldn’t be doing are you?” Mamm asked, concern on her face.
“No,” he said, because he wasn’t. Not in the way she meant anyway.
“Don’t stay out too late,” Mamm said, as he shut the washroom door. Thomas grabbed his good coat from one of the top hooks, grabbed a lantern from the shelf, and lit it. Walking out to the barn, he paused to glance at the sky. Faint clouds driven by high winds scurried across the moon. It didn’t look like rain was on the way. Not that it made any difference working in the cabinet shop, but the local farmers needed rain.
He pushed open the barn door and called for Freddy. A sharp neigh came from the barnyard. Stepping outside he snapped on the tie rope, leading Freddy back inside. Placing the lantern on a shelf, he threw the harness on and fastened the straps. He blew out the lantern, led Freddy outside, shut the barn door, and hitched his horse to the buggy. They rattled out the driveway. Hopefully the Amish houses he passed would think he was on a late-night errand for his daett.
Thomas drove north, then east for two roads, and then north again. Pulling into the small farm of Eunice’s daett, Jonas Troyer, he left his horse standing by the barn with the reins hanging limp on his bridle. Freddy would go nowhere until he came back. He might not be a fast horse, but he was a gut horse who knew when to stay put.
Thomas knocked on the front door and waited. Surely Eunice was home at this time of the evening. Supper ought to be over, so there would be no embarrassment from walking in uninvited. Hopefully Eunice would be willing to step outside on the porch for a few minutes, and they could make their plans quickly.
Steps could be heard from inside, and the door opened.
“Good evening,” the deep voice of Eunice’s daett said, his eyes searching the darkness in front of him.
“Good evening.” Thomas shifted on his feet. There is no reason to fear, he told himself. I have a perfect right to be here now that Susan is gone.
“Who is it?” Jonas asked and stepped closer.
“Thomas Stoll.”
“Oh, one of the Stoll boys.”
“Yah, Thomas Stoll,” he repeated. “Would Eunice be in by any chance?”
“Yah, she’s upstairs.”
“Could I speak with her?”
“Oh…well, let me ask.” Jonas stepped back into the house.
Thomas cleared his throat, shifting again on his feet.
“Ach, you can step inside if you wish.” Jonas opened the door wider. He studied Thomas when he stepped inside holding his hat in his hand.
This is not going well, Thomas thought. Perhaps I should have waited until some Sunday night. But then others might see me talking with Eunice and guess my intentions. Family can keep secrets—but trusting others is risky.
“I hope I’m not bothering your evening,” Thomas said as faces appeared in the kitchen opening. Eunice’s mamm, Martha, a round woman, jolly on most occasions, came out, sober-faced.
“Did I hear you ask for Eunice?” she asked.
“Yah,” Thomas said, relaxing. A mother would know how to handle this situation.
“She’s upstairs,” Martha said. “I’ll go and speak with her.”
Thomas nodded, staying by the door as her steps sounded on the stairs and then faded. The faces in the kitchen doorway disappeared.
“Ach,” Jonas said, “you can have a seat.”
Thomas attempted a smile and cleared his throat as he sat down. Hearing footsteps coming down the stairs, he jumped to his feet, his hat still clutched in his hand. Surely Eunice would invite him outside somewhere, and he wouldn’t have to make conversation in front of everyone.
But it was Martha who appeared at the bottom on the stairs, and Thomas’s fingers dug into the rim of his hat. Had he been rejected without even a word?
“Eunice will see you upstairs,” Martha said with a sweet smile. “She’s in her room, the one on the end of the hall. Just knock.”
Thomas took a deep breath, glancing at Jonas who gave him a quick nod. Apparently they knew of his honorable reputation and trusted him.
“I won’t be long,” Thomas said, opening the stair door. He found his way up the unfamiliar steps. A low light was burning somewhere in the hallway above him. The light became stronger until a kerosene lamp set on a shelf on the wall appeared. He quickened his steps. Knocking on the last door, he waited.
“Come in!” Eunice’s clear, light voice said. He turned the doorknob with a soft click and stepped inside. She was lying on the bed reading, her head propped in one hand, her eyebrows raised sharply, her kapp still on her head.
“Well, Thomas. What are you doing here?” she asked with a wide smile.
“I thought I’d come by, and…well…ask you something.”
“Anything important?” she said, still smiling. “Do sit down and make yourself comfortable.”
He sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t stay long, but your mamm said to come on up.”
“Oh, Mamm knows I’m still decent this hour of the night, so I don’t know why she even had to come up and check. Mamm should have sent you right up.” After an awkward silence, Eunice asked, “So how is Susan doing?”
Why should Eunice ask about Susan? Thomas wondered. I didn’t come to talk to Eunice about Susan. “I wouldn’t know,” he finally said.
“She hasn’t written to me, either.” Eunice sat up on the bed, laying her book down beside her.
Thomas cut to the chase. “I was wondering if I could bring you home some Sunday night.”
“Really? Well, that would be nice. So it’s true what they’re saying? It’s really over between you and Susan?”
“I suppose it is.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He looked at the floor. “Things change, I guess.”
“So when will it be?” Her face lit up. “This will be quite the occasion, I must say. Me going home with the handsome Thomas Stoll. I’m still the new girl around here, you know.”
“Well, it’s just me.” Thomas felt heat spreading up his neck. He wasn’t used to such gushiness.
“I must say, I never thought the day would come. Not that I hoped you and Susan would break up. Even if we gave in to temptation and kissed each other. She was a really wonderful friend, but this is really something for me. I’m so glad you came over tonight!”
“Well, it was nice talking to you after the singing that night.”
Her face clouded for a moment. “That’s been a while ago. There’s been plenty of times since then when you had a chance to speak with me. Surely you knew I would have loved that.”
“Ah, I wasn’t certain.” He shifted on the edge of the bed. “Susan and I had been seeing each other for a long time.”
Her smile dimmed. “Oh, I can understand that. Susan is a very wonderful person, and I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Your asking me is so nice. Can we make a big deal out of it? Maybe bang some plates and throw the rice?”
“Um, not really.” He stared at her. “We don’t do things like that around here.”
“You don’t bang plates and throw rice at weddings?”
“No.”
“Oh, but of course I wasn’t really serious. I know this isn’t a wedding. I’m just happy, that’s all.”
“I would rather not make a big deal out of it.”
“Oh.” Her face clouded but she looked ready to move closer to him.
Thomas stood up. “I think I’d better be going. So in a couple of weeks, maybe?”
“Not this Sunday? You know I can’t wait that long.”
Thomas’s neck grew hot again. “We’ll make it soon, okay. And don’t make a fuss, please.”
“I won’t.” She stood, going to open the door for him. Holding the knob, she leaned against the frame, the light of the kerosene lamp playing on her face. “Goodnight now.”
“Goodnight,” Thomas said. He sidestepped through the door and turned to walk down the hall. The girl was gut looking, there was no doubt about that. At least as gut as Susan. But he had best be forgetting Susan.
“See you, Thomas!” Eunice said, her light voice lingering in the narrow hallway.
He hadn’t kissed her even though she had clearly wanted him to. That has to wait. Perhaps till I take her home—or perhaps even longer. The pain of Susan’s leaving still bothered him way too much.