Susan stood at the front window of the apartment, the early morning racket from the street a dull roar below her. There was so much to do! Did she dare move so quickly? Making all these big changes? Yah! she thought, these were big changes, but life was taking her in this direction. If she held back, her chance might never come again.
Laura had been kind enough to allow her the day off, so she ought to be thankful and enjoy it instead of spending it worrying. Yet how did a person keep from worrying with so many verbotten things she planned to do. There was getting a driver’s license and working for a GED certificate—both of which were forbidden by the church Ordnung. But the church Ordnung was now far from her. She needn’t be worried about the church rules anymore…but she was. The letter from her mamm hadn’t helped.
“I’m not exactly Amish anymore,” she said to the window glass. “It’s just that Amish doesn’t go away so easily.” Susan turned away from the street with a sigh. She would get ready for this day off. There were questions to ask at the college about taking the GED test. That might even be fun. Robby would be driving her around. He had also picked up the state’s driver’s manual earlier in the week for her. Nothing had looked too difficult as Susan studied it the last few evenings. All this help was likely Laura’s doing, even though she made the plans sound accidental. Like Robby just happened to have time to drive her around today.
She also needed to shop for a new dress. The special night with Duane was tomorrow night. The thought made her catch her breath. She could wear one of her current dresses, but nee, that wouldn’t work. They all looked, well, Amish. They wouldn’t do for an evening with Mr. Moran…Duane.
Duane…He wasn’t at all like Thomas. He’d stopped by the bakery a few times since their lunch together. But he never said anything more about the dinner invitation. In the few minutes while waiting on him, he would smile and make conversation like usual. He acted as if he had forgotten his own suggestion.
The tension the man caused was enough to make goose bumps burst out all the way down her arms. She had been ready to tell him when she saw him again that nee, she couldn’t go after all. She had expected him to bring the subject up the first morning she saw him after the diner outing, but he hadn’t said a word. And when he did finally bring it up, she had agreed to go. It’s perfectly understandable, she decided, considering all that charm he exuded.
Thomas wasn’t like Duane at all. He blurted out words and let the sticks fall where they would. Did that come from being Amish? Perhaps. Or maybe Thomas was just plain clumsy? Or maybe just pushy. Forcing his way around like he owned the world. Well, it didn’t matter. Thomas was in love with Eunice. He could have her! She wanted nothing more to do with the man or her former best friend. Let them both go fly a kite.
Pulling her thoughts back into the present, Susan looked around. Now what to do about the letter from home lying on the table? She had read through it again last night. The news was troubling, to say the least. Susan walked over and picked the envelope up again. She took the letter out and unfolded the paper. Her eyes scanned the words. What was Mamm saying? She never quite knew with her—or maybe it was this way with all Amish people. They said something, but a person couldn’t be sure if the words were to be taken at face value.
Dear Susan,
Greetings in the name of Da Hah. I hope as always this finds you well and happy. I wish you would come home, but your daett and I are trying to understand. Laura must be a sweet lady. Please thank her for us—that she is taking such good care of you.
Yesterday we had our day of butchering at John and Betsy’s place. We came home with the spring wagon loaded, and now we have plenty of meat for the winter. Your daett is worried we have too much, but meat is an easy thing to get rid of.
The day contained quite a bit of excitement. Menno tried to burn down the barn while he was doing morning chores. Not that he really did, but he forgot to properly put out the match. He’s getting old, I guess. He tossed it on the barn floor near some straw. His first attempts at putting the fire out only drove the flames deeper into the pile. I came out at his call for help, bringing some of my quilts along, and helped him smother the fire. Don’t worry, we can make more quilts. Much easier than building a new barn!
We got to John and Betsy’s place with that mean sow—you remember her, I think, since you helped raise the piglet. She always had the nastiest temper. Anyway, Menno left her sitting in the crate on the back of the spring wagon. One of Miriam’s boys, Jonas, got his arm bit pretty badly when the boys took it upon themselves to unload her. Jonas had to stay in the hospital overnight. We haven’t heard anything more. I suppose he’ll be okay, as the doctor didn’t say otherwise.
Please be thinking of us often, as we are of you. And may Da Hah keep you safe. We are praying.
“Well,” Susan said out loud, “obviously Mamm wants me to come home.” Of course, she knew that already, but Mamm was thinking of something a little more permanent than a quick visit. Should I go home for a visit? No, not yet. Too much is going on right now. And it would be hard to get back into moving forward later.
She needed to write back…or better yet, call just in case Jonas had taken a turn for the worse. Hog bites could be quite serious. She could try the phone shack at Edna and Jacob’s place and see if anyone answered.
A loud knock came from the door downstairs and interrupted her thoughts. Susan jumped. Robby! And she wasn’t quite ready. Well, he could wait, but not down there. She raced down the steps and jerked open the front door.
“Hi, Miss Sunshine,” he said.
He stood there, his shoulder against the doorframe, a look of great patience on his face. “Your buggy awaits you, oh great Amish princess.”
“Footman,” she said, drawing out the word, teasing him. “You must wait while I finish preparing for the journey.”
“You look ready to me,” he said.
“Well, I’m not, so come upstairs and wait.”
“I thought Mom told you the time to expect me,” he grumbled, following her up the stairs.
“I thought you grew up with sisters, Robby. So don’t you know not to push?”
“Three of them,” he muttered, pulling a chair out at the kitchen table and sitting down with a sigh.
“Your face is tired,” she said. “You should have gone to bed earlier.”
“I had a long night.” He flicked his hair over his shoulders. “And it didn’t turn out so well. And don’t look at me that way.”
“Troubles, have we? Perhaps the princess can help?”
“It’s because of you that I’m in trouble,” he said. “Why would I want the one with the shovel to dig deeper?”
“You shouldn’t blame other people for your troubles. You have to take responsibility.”
“Are you always this full of wisdom?”
“Filled to the brim and bubbling over!” She stepped into the bedroom to retrieve her new purse from the dresser. She counted out money from her small hidden stash and shoved the bills into the purse.
“Hey, I could use some money,” he said, leaning his chair back to peer around the bedroom door. “You shouldn’t keep that much cash in the house.”
“Be quiet!” she ordered. “I’m thinking,” she said.
He laughed.
She ran through the day’s list in her head. First, the papers she needed were already in the inside pocket of her purse. And, yah, she already knew that money shouldn’t be kept in apartments, especially in big cities. But habits were hard to break. She came out, flashed him a smile, and asked, “Okay, so what did I do or say that led my dear footman astray?”
He grunted. “It was all that stuff you told me at the beach about love and looking for it that got to me. It made me stupid enough to try again.”
“Well, good for you! Who is she?”
“You wouldn’t know her. Just a girl.”
“See, that’s your first problem. It shouldn’t be ‘just a girl.’ She has to be special.”
“Like any of them are. They smile and say sweet things, and then they’re gone after the meal. All you have left is precious money spent and nothing gained.”
“You could try a haircut.” She gave him a looking over. “I think that would help.”
“Any other suggestions, Miss Wisdom?”
“You could start by treating her nicely, regardless of what happens.”
“Even when I lose money and waste my time?”
“Yah, because if you develop anger waves against females, they know it. The next one you met will run into all that anger coming from your brain and bam! she’ll be gone. Females don’t like anger waves. It turns us off.”
“Ha!” he said. “Let me see one first who is worth the sweetness, and then I will be sweet back to her.”
“You met me, didn’t you? And am I not the image of a sweet girl? Fresh off the farm, filled with goodness and virtue? Why, my smile ought to give you the pleasant brain waves you need for weeks to come.”
“You are so full of yourself!”
“I’m just joking. Can’t you take a joke? Remember, I had an Amish boyfriend who gave me all that sweet talk. Now look at me. I’m out on the streets of Asbury Park with an Englisha man.”
“I think you exaggerate,” he said. “You probably dumped him to run out to the world. Isn’t that what Amish babes do?”
“Babe yourself!” she snapped. “And I didn’t dump him, but I should have. Just goes to show how blind I was. And now you should learn like I did. You pick up the pieces and go on.”
“Is that farm wisdom?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “It’s some kind of wisdom, I guess.”
“All I want to do is find one decent girl,” he said, looking forlorn.
“Do you want to join the Amish?” she asked.
“Hey!” he said. “That might not be a bad idea. Have they got more babes like you? Nicer ones, of course—but a little like you?”
“What makes you think I’m such a saint? And quit saying ‘babe,’” she said. “It doesn’t sound nice. And, yah, there are lots of good girls. If you can get to them before they’re spoken for. Of course, you would have to be Amish, which is another matter entirely. I certainly don’t see that happening.”
“I’d have to cut my hair, right?”
“A whole lot more than that. I’m sorry, but you’re not even close to being Amish.”
He looked cheerful. “It can’t be too hard. I mean, driving a horse and buggy.”
“You’d better stay in your own world,” she said. “Believe me, it’s not that easy. And we have our own troubles.” She motioned toward the letter on the table.
He raised his eyebrows. “May I read it?”
“Yah.”
He opened the letter and read silently. “Sounds like someone wants you to come home,” he said when he was done.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Are you going?”
“No, but I probably should call home about Jonas. I’ll run down to the bakery and use your mom’s phone.”
“Maybe you should go for a visit. It sounds like they love and miss you.”
“Someone else doesn’t, so forget it!” she snapped.
“Ah, the princess is bitter.” A smile played on his face. “You’ve made me feel so much better.” He jumped up. “Are you ready to go then?”
“I have to make the phone call first.”
“You can use my cell while we’re driving.”
“Thanks.”
“Welcome,” he said as he started down the stairs.
“How did I make you feel better?” she asked, following him.
“You said you’re not a saint.”
“How does that make you feel better?”
“Believe me.” He held open the street door. “Halos hanging around a girl’s head is not good. It gets to be a little too much.”
“Do I have a halo?”
“Not right now, you don’t.”
“That’s very mean. You know that, don’t you?”
He grinned, showing all his teeth.
She glared at him. “Where is the buggy?” she asked, when they reached the street.
“Over here, princess! Ready and waiting.” He waved his hand toward his car parked at the curb.