Chapter Twelve

RHONDAS HOME HUMMED with feminine laughter and the cry of babies. Sarah Beth and Rhonda moved throughout Rhonda’s living room, talking to women and playing with kids. Kaylan packed food for the women to take back to their homes. The first Tuesday night meeting about nutrition and diet couldn’t have gone better. Kaylan had taught the women about the importance of proteins, such as beans or peanuts, and how combining them with a grain, like rice, forms a complete protein. Both of them knew that even with this knowledge, most of these women wouldn’t be able to afford a substantial amount of food, but it was a start.

Tasha approached, a pregnant girl of about the same age beside her. Kaylan immediately reached for Kenny, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin and fuzzy, dark hair. Her heart skipped a beat, and her determination doubled. For babies like Kenny and women like Tasha, things needed to change.

“Thank you.” Tasha’s smile carried hope, and with it Kaylan’s excitement grew for the next meeting. “This Yanick. She married.”

The woman smiled shyly at Kaylan, keeping her hands wrapped around her swollen abdomen.

“Yanick, it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad you came.”

The door banged open, and Eliezer barged into the entranceway. Kaylan froze in confusion. Silence settled among the women, and several swept their toddlers from the floor, holding them close. Eliezer’s eyes traveled the room and settled on Tasha and Yanick. He began to yell in Creole as he stormed over, grabbed their arms, and shoved them toward the door.

“Kenny!” Tasha cried, reaching around Eliezer but unable to break from his grip. Kaylan hurried after them, bringing Kenny and the two sacks of food for the girls’ families.

Eliezer ushered the girls to a man waiting in the dark street. The man roughly grabbed Yanick, yelling at her in Creole. Tasha remained calm. Meeting Eliezer’s eyes, Kaylan handed Kenny to Tasha while Eliezer watched her solemnly. Once again, his clothes, though still shabby, spoke of his desire to dress more affluently than those who inhabited the slums. Kaylan wondered if it gave him more credibility with the people. They feared him and heeded him too much. She refused to show fear in his presence, and by the fire in his eyes, she could tell that bothered him.

“We leave, now.” Eliezer hissed through his teeth. His eyes blazed.

“No worry. Jesus here tonight.” Tasha pointed to her heart, and with the shadow of a smile, she turned and followed Yanick down the street, soothing a squalling Kenny as she walked.

Despite the spectacle, laughter escaped from Kaylan’s lips, and she tipped her head to the night sky, thanking the Lord. Whether anyone had learned from the meeting or not was irrelevant in light of Tasha coming to the Lord. Turning to reenter the house, she bounced off Eliezer.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Eliezer. I didn’t see you.” She attempted to walk around him, but he blocked her path.

“You interfere where you do not have rights.”

“I’m here to help. Don’t you want a better Haiti for your people?” She wished she could read his face. He stood in the shadow, and the light from Rhonda’s house splashed her face.

“Then you stay with the ones who claim your God. I am responsible for those who follow me.”

“Sir, your people respect you. Don’t make them choose between doing what they feel is right for themselves and their families and their respect for you.”

“Do not meddle, and it will not be a problem. I respect you came to Haiti to help. I respect Rhonda has come to help. But I will care for my own. You worry about the rest of Port-au-Prince.” Dirt billowed in a cloud as his feet pounded the street, and he blended into the dark night.

“You okay, Kayles?” Sarah Beth moved from the doorway and glanced up and down the street.

Kaylan stared at the place Eliezer had disappeared, almost expecting him to materialize from the shadows. “He creeps me out.” She shuddered, pulling Sarah Beth toward the sound of laughing women. It was not time to dwell on her fear.

Her friends celebrated the life of one in light of the threats of another. The light and laughter surrounding Kaylan repelled the darkness of the streets outside the small house. Haiti was a whole new kind of difficult, but she wouldn’t trade a night like this for a hundred nights back in Alabama. She’d made the right decision. Yet, despite the success of the evening, she couldn’t shake the twinge of uncertainty. Eliezer loomed larger than life, lurking in the shadows of Kaylan’s dreams.

1

Nick concentrated on extending the bar completely above his chest. His arms shook, and sweat poured off him, dripping into his eyes as if he were in a sauna instead of the Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado, California. Micah stood above him, hands ready if Nick needed help. They had already run a couple miles along the coastline with several guys on their Naval Special Warfare Support Activities team, and now they were hitting the weights. While they were part of a larger SEAL team stationed on the West Coast, Nick and Micah were also part of NSWSA-1, a Support Activities team and smaller group that deployed for very selective and secretive assignments for however long necessary in addition to normal SEAL deployments. They had to keep in shape, ever ready to be called on a mission.

When they weren’t working out, they were training for professional development on their individual jobs for the team. After a few months of this, they would travel to different sites and conduct real-world training in environments they would see overseas. Then they would work on months of Squadron Integration Training, where they focused on mission-specific aspects. In the midst of all the training, Micah, Nick, and their fellow SEALs knew how to kick back. Surfing was Nick’s and Micah’s vice, but the other guys also enjoyed anything from hiking and fishing and time with their families to hanging out at local bars. Work hard, play hard—SEALs knew how to do both.

“Hey, Hawk?”

Nick gritted his teeth and forced words out as he exhaled, “Yeah?”

“On the phone the other night Pap asked about your birth parents, wondered if you’d found out anything. He said y’all talked about it when we were home. Why didn’t you tell me you were on this quest to find your birth parents? When did this start?”

Nick nearly dropped the weights on his chest. Micah came to the rescue and helped lift the bar back in place.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to throw you off.”

Nick wiped the sweat from his forehead and grabbed his water bottle. “It started a little bit after my dad died. When we were in Afghanistan, and I was pining over Kaylan, I decided some things needed to change, that I needed to change. It’s something I’m curious about.”

“And why’s Pap curious?”

Nick shrugged. “Maybe he wants to make sure my blood is good enough to pass on to his grandchildren.”

Micah groaned and rolled his eyes. “Watch it, bud. That’s my sister you’re talking about.” He smirked. “Pap’s not that way. Maybe he just wanted to make sure you didn’t have any identity issues. You know . . . ”

His voice trailed off, embarrassed, but Nick understood the implication. Several adopted kids he’d known had a rough time in their teens, seemed to go off the deep end. His struggle manifested itself in college, after his mom died. Parties, girls, alcohol, and a couple close brushes with the law had left him feeling empty and alone. He’d had great adoptive parents. Then his dad got sick. Cancer ate away over a few years, all while he cheered Nick through BUD/S. Alone now, with both adoptive parents gone, a deep longing had sprung up in him to find his family. His birth family.

Micah spoke up again. “Not to pry or anything, but it just surprised me that you hadn’t mentioned this.”

“I wasn’t hiding anything. It’s just sort of . . . embarrassing.”

Micah laughed and threw him a towel. “Why would it be embarrassing?”

“I had great parents. It just seems weird to look for ones who didn’t care enough to keep me.”

“There’s no shame in wanting to know where you come from.”

Nick appreciated the support. He’d found his family in the SEALs. He’d found a brother closer than blood in Micah. “Thanks, man. That means a lot.”

“My family will help you find your parents if it means that much to you.”

Nick wondered why it mattered so much, why it burned in his heart and mind to find these unknown, biological parents. He just knew it did, and until he knew the truth, he would keep looking.

“So, what are you going to do when you actually find them?”

“I honestly have no idea, Bulldog. Maybe nothing. Maybe knowing will be enough. Maybe I’ll reach out to them. But I don’t want to disrupt their lives, and nothing will be accomplished by rehashing the past. I have no regrets. Just an overwhelming curiosity.”

Micah rubbed the back of his neck and avoided Nick’s eyes. “Man, I gotta ask. Are you hoping that you’ll find your parents, introduce yourself as the son they lost, and magically become part of the Brady bunch?”

“I’m under no illusions. I have brothers through the SEALs. I had parents. I’ve found a great girl.”

“Are you trying to tell me something, Hawk?” Micah grinned.

“Believe me, if Kaylan and I get to the place of making this permanent, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

One of the first? That’s all I get?”

“Don’t push your luck.” He took a swing at Micah and missed. “Seriously though, have you ever had an idea or dream that just ate at you until you fulfilled it? That’s what it’s like with my birth parents. If I never know, I won’t have lost anything. My life is full. But if I can find them, I could gain something I’m not even aware of yet.”

Nick stood and moved to another machine, beginning his reps.

Micah sauntered to his side. “So where do we look now?”

Nick smiled and shrugged. The pieces would fall together in their own time. They had a good break before they were deployed again to who-knows-where, unless the Support Activities team called on them first. For now, they would train and be ready to leave at a moment’s notice, but he would definitely take advantage of the time to track down more information, even if he wasn’t quite sure where to look yet.

1

Kaylan’s excitement since her young mothers group the night before quickly dissolved as she stared at the mother on the bed in front of her. They had tried, but there was nothing she or Rhonda could do. The baby was gone. Kaylan’s fingers dug into her face, choking back a sob. The young woman lay passed out in exhaustion. Rhonda wrapped the tiny bundle in clothes and walked out of the room.

“Why?”

The word slipped through her whitened fingers. Every day she fought a battle of two steps forward and one step back. She shared the gospel with Stevenson, but he went back to Eliezer. She tried to help mothers understand the importance of nutrition, but Eliezer dragged two of the mothers away. She tried to help mothers deliver healthy babies, but Eliezer interfered there too. Was there no way to counter his influence? No way to stop his evil? How many would run to Eliezer’s medicine because they lacked knowledge and education? How many more mothers would lose children? A dark cloud hovered over Haiti in the form of voodoo and years of extreme poverty. Would the shadows ever fade?

She wrung water from a cloth, soothing the sweaty brow of the mother who would never hold the child she had borne for eight months. It was the way of Haiti. With so many uneducated, with the heat, and the need to constantly make a living, there were those who grew tired of pregnancy and sought help from local voodoo priests to induce labor. She still wasn’t sure what Eliezer gave them. Some natural remedy, or so she’d been told. But many times it ended with loss of life and an aching mother. A flash of anger startled Kaylan. How could this mother risk hurting her own child to shave off one month of pregnancy?

Some days she hated Haiti as much as she loved it. She longed to see change. Like the unfulfilled mother before her, Haiti should be beautiful and vibrant, but her need to provide for the day without thought to a hundred tomorrows left her barren and childless. The people couldn’t provide for themselves. Land was deforested, reefs devoid of fish, people without schooling, children sold as slaves, women employed as prostitutes, and men left wandering the streets without knowledge and skill to provide for and lead their families. Lack of education and resources left them destitute, and an apathetic attitude gripped many. Could anything worse happen to Haiti? Had God forgotten these beautiful people? Some days the battle felt hopeless.

“You can’t save them all, Kaylan.”

Silence reverberated in the room, and Kaylan’s eyes drifted over the woman’s sleeping frame.

“How do you live like this, Rhonda? Don’t you want to save them all?” She turned on her mentor, her eyes flashing. “You’ve grown callous. That was a baby. A baby who never had the chance to live because of this woman’s naiveté and impatience to be back on the streets selling herself.”

“You’ve been here less than two weeks. I’ve invested ten years. You think I don’t care? You can’t fight the culture, Kaylan. You can’t change years of oppression and voodoo and grinding poverty. She needs to feed her other kids, so she acted. Wrongly, naively, but she did.”

Kaylan stepped back at the cold emanating from Rhonda, but the current building within her would not be quenched.

“So, you accept it? You don’t fight to change it?”

“Before you change a culture, you must understand the basic drive behind every poor decision. Families need food, so they sell their daughters. Men can’t afford to provide for their families, so they leave. Welcome to extreme poverty, Kaylan. Don’t you dare tell me that I don’t care. I’ve been fighting this battle for years. You don’t know anything. You’re acting like a spoiled, selfish, rich girl who has never been out of her comfort zone. Tell me, Kaylan, are you really here for the people or to be a hero? This isn’t a game or a movie. This is real life.”

Kaylan drew back as if slapped. The fight left her. Was that why she was here? To be a superhero, as she and Sarah Beth had joked about back home? Tears pooled in her eyes. She felt helpless and hopeless. How could she ever have thought she could help here, that she alone could turn things around?

“I’m sorry, Rhonda.” She brushed tears away with the sweat. Tears wouldn’t save the baby or cure Haiti’s need. “I had no right to question you. I’m not superwoman, and I’ve tried to be.”

Rhonda crossed the small room and rested her hands on Kaylan’s shoulders, tilting her chin up. “Kiddo, I’ve seen more than you can imagine, cried more than you will ever know, buried more children and treated more people than you could hope to see in your time here. It never gets easier. It is what it is.”

“But it doesn’t have to be.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She wiped a tear winding down Kaylan’s cheek. “Kaylan, do you remember how you felt when you first arrived?”

Kaylan nodded. “I fell in love with these people so quickly, Rhonda. I want to protect them from the world. Give them everything I have and more. I live so sheltered, and these people have so little. Some days I wonder if God cares. And then every day I see some small miracle in the midst of hardship, and I remember that He does. I just still don’t understand why it won’t change more quickly.”

“I love your heart for these people, Kaylan. But your mind-set is still very American. This is not an instant gratification society. We can’t bring America to Haiti. We have to meet these people where they are at, and help in any way we can.”

“I understand that. But how do we change a country and a mind-set after years of hardship?”

Rhonda crossed her arms and studied Kaylan. “Kaylan, how do you finish a test?”

“What?”

“I thought you were a brainiac.”

Kaylan chuckled and lowered her head.

“Think about it, Kaylan. How do you finish a test?”

“One question at a time?” Kaylan felt stupid. Surely it wasn’t that easy.

Rhonda’s voice lowered to a whisper, burning with passion. “Kaylan, how do you change a country?”

Recognition dawned in Kaylan. She lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. “One life at a time.”

“One life at a time, we will see Haiti changed. One mother understanding the intricacies of the life within her, one child knowing the love of two parents and a full belly, one father knowing how to provide for his family. One by one.”

Compassion welled for the woman on the bed who would open her eyes to empty arms and a barren womb. Kaylan would teach her, so she never forfeited another child again.

“One life can save Haiti.”