KAYLAN JOINED THE family for lunch, thankful no one brought up the events of that morning. Instead, conversation stayed on a safe topic: the upcoming Super Bowl between the New Orleans Saints and the Indianapolis Colts. In a house full of boys, football debates could carry on all afternoon.
When the conversation finally hit a lull, Seth turned to her. “Ready to get in a light workout? You need to rebuild those muscles.”
She nodded reluctantly. The doctor had recommended that she try to return to some level of normalcy. Since she couldn’t do a full workout because of her leg, Seth recommended working on her core and arms with his weight set.
Half an hour later she sat in the garage-turned-weight-room, sweat dripping from her forehead. She was thankful for the brisk air, or this task would be impossible. She didn’t know how Seth had worked out in here all through high school.
“One more rep, sis. We have to make sure you can throw and catch that football so we can whip David and Micah in those family games.” Trying to cheer her up as she worked out, Seth kept up a steady stream of blonde jokes, but she had yet to crack a smile.
Kaylan gritted her teeth and focused her energy on getting stronger instead of hitting her baby brother. Inch by inch she came closer to her goal. Truthfully, she welcomed the pain. Her body still hurt from the quake. Every step kept her focused on her physical recovery. The battle raging inside seemed impossible to cure, but maybe she could at least regain her physical strength and stamina.
“Uh, sis, you may be pushing too hard now.”
“I can do this.”
“I don’t doubt that you can, but I don’t think you should.”
“Are you going to help me or not?” she snapped, and it caught her by surprise. His wounded face mirrored her own.
“Seth . . . ” She wiped her face and then threw down the towel. “I’m done for the day. Thanks.” She pushed off Seth’s workout bench and grabbed her crutches.
“Kayles?”
Seth’s shoulders sagged as he met her eyes. She wished she could comfort, but there were no words.
“What can I do? How can I help you? I want to make it better.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat.
“Nothing, Seth. I don’t think anything can fix this. It’s too big and too awful. I’m sorry. I just . . . need time and a break, a way to forget it all.” She left the garage and quietly pulled the door closed behind her. But how do you forget something like this? She squeezed her eyes shut, but tears still refused to fall.
Nick hurt for Seth. He’d heard the last bit of Kaylan’s and Seth’s conversation and slipped from view as she hobbled from the garage. It was time to treat her to a relaxing night—no rehab, no recovery, no questions. Just light and fun.
Nick hurried to intercept Kaylan. On her, sweat looked good, but he didn’t figure she would appreciate the comment at the moment.
“Hey, beautiful, feel good to work out?”
She turned, not quite meeting his eyes. He missed the way her eyes lit up like she had a secret she wanted to share with the whole world. Now they were shadowed, a shade darker, like winter had crept in to overshadow the summer green.
“Seth’s trying. I’m trying. It hurts.”
“It’s a slow process. Keep going. You’ll be healthy and walking normally in no time.” But no matter how quick the recovery, her leg would always bear a scar, a painful reminder. Nick bore a few of his own. Not all were external.
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me.” Her attempt at a smile broke his heart.
He closed the distance between them and slipped his hands around her waist, taking her weight. The crutches hit the walls as she gripped his arms. He leaned his forehead against hers and waited until she relaxed.
“Want to go on a date with me tonight?”
“Nick.”
“You and me, and maybe your brothers if they decide to crash.”
“Nick.”
“C’mon. You need a night to relax and be with people who love you and want to spend time with you. Laughter cures the pain of any heartache. Or so I’m told.”
He didn’t bother to tell her that he would need to leave in the next couple of days. He tugged her closer, intentionally working to pull down the walls she had built. Walls never healed the pain; they gave it a place to fester and grow unchecked.
“We won’t have to leave your house. Dinner and a movie. I’ll even ask David to cook, so you have something decent to eat.”
She shook against him.
“Was that a laugh?”
“Don’t tell Seth. He’ll be jealous.”
“I think he already is.”
“Why?”
“I’m stealing the sister he adores, and he’s not sure I’m worthy.”
The silence lingered. She looked . . . haunted. He had to work harder. Every day she gave in to her memories. They shaped her reality, one that would always be half empty, absent a friend who thrived in daily memory.
“In your defense, you’re still here.”
He kissed her forehead and swallowed back his growing frustration. Once again his job would pull him away from her when she needed him. Where was the balance?
“Dinner, movie. Tonight. On me.”
The flat screen over the fireplace in the Richards’s cozy living room came alive with fish and crabs. Kaylan enjoyed the story of Finding Nemo. The ocean reminded her of Nick, and it seemed appropriate that she sat wrapped in his arms on the couch. Unable to escape the chill, she bundled up in sweat pants, her Alabama sweatshirt, and a blanket.
She envied Dory. The lighthearted blue fish had the ability to forget. Kaylan wished she could forget . . . forget the earthquake, forget Sarah Beth’s broken body, forget the endless dark hours and the cold that had crept into her life since Sarah Beth had left. She snuggled closer to Nick.
She also related to Marlin, the clown fish whose son is lost. Fleeing from sharks, jelly fish, and swimming across a vast ocean, he was a small fish in a big pond, desperate to reunite with the one thing he loved most, his son, Nemo. If she could cross the ocean and find the best friend she loved and lost, she would jump the first plane, swim if she had to. If only it were that simple. If only Sarah Beth were lost, kidnapped, or just in a hospital somewhere. But she had left the planet. Kaylan could fly to Haiti a thousand times, but nothing would change. Only a dusty grave awaited her.
The fire roared and popped. Sharks appeared on screen, larger than life, and despite their best intentions, the biggest shark was determined to devour Marlin and Dory. Music blared and speakers rattled. Kaylan bolted upright and jumped from the couch as Nick’s cell phone vibrated on the end table. The room shook and pulsated. Kaylan grabbed her head. It was happening again. She had to leave.
“Kaylan?”
Not even the sound of Nick’s voice could hold her in place. The room could collapse any second, and she would not be trapped again. Never again.
“Run!”
She tore through the room, ripped open the front door, and ran onto the open driveway. As soon as she was clear of the house, she crouched and covered her head, no longer able to discern anything but the shaking of her own body and the pounding of her heart and head. Without her bidding, Haiti flooded her mind, consuming the driveway, the house, and Nick’s strong voice calling her name. Alabama once again grew distant.
“Kaylan. Kaylan!” Nick shook her. She moaned but didn’t open her eyes. “Kaylan, look at me. What happened?”
“Not again, please, not another one.”
He sat down on the driveway and pulled her into his lap. She came willingly, curling into a ball. He wished he could wrap her in a bubble and shield her.
“Everything started shaking. I can’t do it again, Nick, I can’t.”
He groaned and held her head against his chest. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think.” He kissed her forehead and continued to hold her. He should have turned the surround sound off. The room had rattled, and even the slightest vibrations set her on edge. The phone vibrating on the table hadn’t helped either. Flashbacks came at the oddest times, and he would need to warn the family of what to expect.