THIRTEEN
Uncharacteristically, Coco walked about six miles to the school. Even so, she was early. Sitting on the bench just outside the school, she searched for cigarettes and found none. She stood and started the walk to the shop at the end of the block. Coco paused when the green Range Rover circled and stopped in front of her. Deedee hopped out. Both Eric Ascot and Sophia waved at Coco as Deedee approached.
“Whaz-zup?” Deedee shouted. Her yell shattered the morning air. Birds took refuge in nearby trees. Eric honked, and Deedee waved goodbye.
She must be feeling a lot better, Coco thought.
“What’s popping? I’m going to da corner store, yo,” Coco said.
“I’ll walk with you, if you don’t mind,” Deedee chirped.
“Ahight, yo,” Coco said and eased into a leisurely stroll.
“This seems like such a nice morning. I mean, the sunlight, the water on the grass. Damn, how could it be such a nice day?” Deedee lit a cigarette, puffed and passed it to Coco.
“Yeah, yeah, know whatcha mean, yo,” Coco said.
They walked on to the store. Coco bought cigarettes and a Coke. For Deedee, apple juice and chewing gum.
The girls stood outside the store, sipping and smoking. They left as other students descended on the shop. Coco and Deedee walked back toward the school and sat down on a bench.
“Still early,” Deedee said.
Coco nodded. “Yeah.” Her voice trailed off in sadness.
Was Coco’s behavior just early morning blues? Deedee wondered. Maybe she was tired. She knew Coco and the girls had been rehearsing for the talent show finals.
“So, how’s rehearsal?” Deedee asked. Coco nodded again and reached for her cigarettes. She lit one and stared upward, blowing the smoke out slowly. Deedee watched her, and Coco started.
“Life’s some fucked-up shit, yo,” she said.
It occurred to Deedee that her own situation fitted the phrase better than Coco’s.
“Yeah, I know just whatcha mean, Coco.”
“But it could always be worse. No matter what, there’s always gonna be worse,” Coco continued looking away. “I mean, yo…d’ya wanna take a walk?” asked Coco. She paused thoughtfully. “We best chill,” she said. “Cuz I’ll wind up not fucking bothering wid this shit. I need da education, yo.”
They remained on the bench. She lit another cigarette and Deedee joined her.
“You’re alright, yo. Know wha’ I mean?” Coco asked.
Deedee thought about that. “Yeah,” she finally said, not fully understanding. It didn’t seem to matter.
Coco slumped back. “You’re looking better, anyway. But I’m saying the feeling stays with you, yo,” Coco continued. Deedee stared at her, still unsure of exactly what was going on. Then Coco came up with the clarification. “Da feeling of being vick. That shit never leaves, yo. It becomes your fucking shadow, pops up in different situations. You be seeing faces, like it wuz that muthafucka, or this one.”
Deedee listened, dangling her cigarette. She watched Coco’s expression change from sad to anger.
“I know wha’ da shit feels like, yo,” Coco said. “See, I wuz fucking raped. Muthafucka got drunk wid my mom and when he wuz finished wid her, he came for me. My mutha, yo, she tried to fight him, and I did too. That muthafucka was big, yo. He kicked madukes drunken ass and then took mine. Now everyday I just be staring at muthafuckas, having flashbacks. I’m telling you, if I had a gun, that muthafucka would be straight spitting lead. I’m telling you, shits fucked up when I be staring in muthafuckas’ eyes, looking for him, yo. If I ever see his ass… Wha-at! I swear to God, he’s dead, yo.”
Students began entering the school. First they had to pass through the metal detectors. Some waved to Coco. She managed to ignore them and stared off, over the trees.
“I’ll kill a muthafucka like: What? Pow!” Coco summed up a feeling that had haunted her for a long time. Deedee was surprised. She had no idea the morning would bring this revelation. She had planned on going to school, enduring as much of the stares as possible, and leaving early if they got her down. Now, she too would stare back at ‘muthafuckas,’ possibly locating the one who had caused her pain. It was a scary thought. Coco’s grim expression made her realize that things really could be worse.
“Do they know about this, too?” Deedee asked when she saw Danielle and Josephine heading toward the bench.
“Nah,” Coco said. “They wouldn’t understand da half. You had to be there like a vick to fully get it, yo.” She got up and greeted the girls.
“What’s popping?” Danielle and Josephine greeted.
“Hi,” Deedee said.
“What’s popping? Besides being late, as usual, yo,” Coco said.
“This crazy girl made me late,” Danielle said.
“I’m telling you, I couldn’t get into da station. They robbed this lady and shot her like twenty times. So da police had the shit blocked off. You should’ve seen all the blood! Yuck! Ugh,” Josephine said.
“Let’s not go inside, y’all. Well, not until later. I mean, fuck it, let’s cut,” said Deedee.
The three girls looked at her, surprise in their stares. Josephine swallowed hard. She and Danielle directed their attention to Coco. She was looking with interest at Deedee.
“Why not?” Coco asked. Deedee noticed a slight smile.
“Yeah, why not?” Danielle and Josephine chorused.
The girls walked hastily to the corner store. Danielle and Josephine bought snacks and cigarettes.
“Just a little juice. My throat is dried out,” Danielle said, leaving the store. She held the straw up to her lips and spoke between sips.
“It’s all that sucking,” Josephine laughed.
The comment caught Danielle off-guard and some of the juice spilled on her chest.
She attempted a smile. “Ah, you just jealous cuz you ain’t got a man like Cory, bitch,” she said. “Speaking of sucking, last week me and Cory were in the park and some crazy ass niggas was running a trizain on this big tittie bitch. Whoa. That nigga had a huge dick. You know the guy from the club with da gold fronts…”
“Ahight…ahight, you think them night gown dresses look good? Josephine asked. “I might get one and I’m daring someone to laugh at my…”
“Oh you ain’t gonna look good in nothing…” Josephine started, Danielle quickly interrupted her.
“Jo, your lips remind me so much of that girl in the park. Could it have been?” Danielle said.
“No,” Josephine said with mock vexation. “If I had done all that sucking, my tongue would’ve been tired and I would definitely be thirsty.”
“What’re they talking bout?” Deedee asked.
“Get yourself looking this good and you won’t have to wish about anything.” Danielle licked her lips and said: “You won’t have to use your suckers.”
She patted her hip and arched her chest. Josephine kept on laughing. Coco and Deedee stared at the other two. Then all four girls began laughing, not really knowing the whole reason.
“Let’s go check out that new movie wid 2pac. I heard it’s all that,” Josephine said still giggling.
“No, let’s check out some breakfast. Now that will hit da spot,” Danielle said.
“Sounds good to me,” Deedee said.
“Alright, yo. Where?” Coco asked.
“Mickey D’s” came the chorus. They continued chattering as they headed to the breakfast place.
Josephine continued teasing Danielle. “I can’t believe you be telling people your name is Daniella, with accent and everything like you’re Spanish,” she giggled.
“Well, you be walking up to people saying, ‘yo, my name’s Jo,’ like your ass is somebody an’ shit,” Danielle said.
“Well I am somebody,” Josephine said.
“And I get the men sweating me because let’s face it; I’m exotic,” Danielle said. She batted her eyes like Betty Boop.
Coco and Deedee walked ahead, within ear-shot, glancing over their shoulders and laughing along with Danielle and Josephine. Deedee was caught up in the moment. She laughed freely, completely enjoying the exchanges. Memories of the rape faded. Coco stopped, lit a cigarette and kept on walking. She had enjoyed Danielle and Josephine’s performance, but what was important was sharing the ordeal she had gone through with someone she knew could truly understand. She slowed into her bop.
For breakfast the girls had only fruit juices and sodas. This ‘hooky day’ was nourishment enough for all.
“That nigga was walking like he had shit up da ass, yo,” Coco said.
“He wuz dead into Daniella”, Josephine said.
“Who’s Daniella? You mean Danielle, right?” Deedee asked.
“Daniella. You know, that fake-ass, wannabe-Spanish girl sitting right next to my black ass,” Josephine said. She laughed loudly. The other patrons, seated and standing, looked their way.
“Oh, no. Don’t even try it. That little nigga knows a fine sister, no doubt,” Danielle said. “You’re just jealous that he ain’t all up on you.”
“Si, lo que se. Si, si. Mira, mira,” Josephine said. The jovial mood infected the entire restaurant. They heard the rest of the patrons snickering from all directions.
An old lady hobbled over. “What did y’all mothers give y’all today?” she asked.
“Vitamins.”
“Well, aren’t y’all s’pose to be using all that energy in school?” The old lady waited for another answer. She didn’t get one.
“Let’s go check out that flick, yo.”
The girls rose and walked away from the table. The old lady’s stares followed them out the door. They strode past rushing pedestrians and homeless people waiting for a break.
They walked side by side as they entered the movie theater, laughing and throwing verbal pellets at each other. Like bored kids throwing spit-balls, it was done just for simple fun. The jocularity extended until they left.
“Yo, yo, let’s go window shopping,” Danielle suggested.
“Deedee can show us where she gets that hot shit she be wearing,” Josephine said. She winked at Deedee, who grinned at Coco.
“Yo, that’s cool. You wear some funky stuff, too,” Deedee said.
“Alright, yo, let’s go already. Damn clothes addicts,” Coco said.
“That’s because you’re always wearing them baggy jeans. Try something else, something that’ll show your figure, girl,” Danielle said. “That shit that be making you look like a nigga sometimes,” Danielle laughed. Coco didn’t laugh. She lit a cigarette and hung it between her lips. She tilted her collar upward and slid her hat down to the top of her nose. She mimicked a boy’s body language.
“Well, at least my jeans ain’t wedged up into da crack of my ass causing me major discomfort, yo,” Coco said. She lit the cigarette, a smirk on her face. Josephine laughed and applauded as Coco pulled her baggy jeans tight and imitated Danielle’s walk. Deedee laughed, too, and pointed at Coco. Even Danielle, with the proverbial egg on the face, managed a smile.
“Hey, yo, let’s go by the rink and rent some skates,” Josephine said.
“Sounds good,” Deedee said, still laughing.
“Okay, yeah, let’s,” Danielle said.
Coco had moved further up the block doing the imitation of Danielle, rejoined them.
“Wanna hang at the rink?” Danielle asked.
“Yeah, yo,” Coco said with sudden urgency. “Five-oh is giving out summonses to some kids. We better bounce, yo.” The four girls ran for the skating rink.
Two hours later, they emerged, still laughing. Deedee phoned Uncle E. She asked him to pick her up a few hours later than usual. She was going to watch Da Crew rehearse. Sunlight strained against heavy dark clouds as the girls slowly made their way back to the school. The mood was light as they shared cigarettes and a joint.
“This shit taste kinda nice, yo,” Coco said. “Where’d ya cop it?”
“Oh, yo, from Cory. I don’t know where he copped it.” It gave Danielle a greater high when Coco was impressed. It was as if she had gone one-up on the not-so-easily moved and streetwise Coco.
They passed a group of guys on a corner and ignored their advances.
“And pleased to meet ya and suck my Johnson. Bi-yotches.”
The girls kept moving in silence. They heard chuckles from the guys. Josephine broke the silence.
“What if we ran back there and be like, yeah, nice to meet you Mr. Johnson, but you rather short. Too short to be sucked. Now, all that little Mr. Johnson needs is someone to crack open a can o’ that good ol’ ass whipping for him. A nigga try to pull some shit like that, ‘bout ‘bitch, suck my dick,’ we fighting, cuz that’s big disrespect.”
“What if they got guns?” Deedee asked. “That makes a huge difference.” She wanted to share her experience. “It’s really no joke when it happens. You just start wishing it’s a bad dream and it will all be over real soon.”
Danielle passed the joint to Deedee. The smell stung her nostrils, but she took a drag on the rolled cigarette with the brown tar on the tip. She passed it to Coco, who took it with a smile. Josephine and Danielle continued yakking.
“I’m telling ya,” Josephine said “I be beating up my cousins like they owe me sump’n, and they’re all guys. Puh-lease. Some guy try that shit on me...”
“You be so scared, your ass probably faint right there,” Danielle said.
“Well, your ass probably would start loving da shit,” Josephine said.
“Listen up, Sista Josephine. I’d probably bite Mr. Johnson’s head off, so there wouldn’t be too much to enjoy,” Danielle said. “They know who to pick on.”
“We be rolling. I would scratch them niggas’ eyes out,” Josephine said fingernails at the ready, scratching the air.
“This some good weed, yo,” Coco said. She pulled on the joint so hard, the tip glowed. “Where he got this shit?” Coco managed to ask between tokes.
“Probably uptown. That’s where they got good shit. Cory said they call it cookies ‘n’ cream,” Danielle said. She grabbed the center of attention once occupied by the burning weed.
“Yeah, this shit does smell like cookies ‘n’ cream, yo.”
“I’m serious,” Josephine said. “Not even Baskin Robbins has this special flava.”
“You need to take your serious ass to rehearsal,” Danielle said. She toked on the last bit of the joint and flicked the tiny roach away.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s that time again, yo,” Coco said heading for the small auditorium. Deedee and the girls followed. The auditorium was like a boxing ring before a fight. It had been the main hall of the old school, and was nearly abandoned after the new building went up. Now it was about to be transformed by the winds of human energy.
Deedee watched Da Crew calmly shift to their ready position. The whole place became energized with their emotions. She saw the raw expressions on the girls’ faces as they moved—sharpening each turn, weaving, pivoting and stepping on cue.
They’re good, thought Deedee. They are incredible. She felt the excitement as the girls’ liveliness burst through, causing momentary delirium. Above the noise of rehearsal she heard the blast of a car horn. She went to the window and peered out. It was her Uncle E. She went out and invited him inside. They sat and watched Da Crew fine-tune their act. At the break, Eric Ascot applauded and approached the stage.
“Hey, what y’all have is really good,” he called up to them. “Y’all looking sharp and ready.”
“Thanks,” the reply came immediately.
This, they knew, was a compliment from a producer, and not just any producer. It came from Eric Ascot. It surprised them. And the compliments got better.
“You are Jo, with some smooth flow, Danielle and Coco,” Eric said pointing as he named each girl.
“Oh, oh, you got us down to the point,” Josephine said.
“Yeah, yeah. We feel big time already,” Danielle said.
They all laughed. Coco drank bottled water and watched. Then she saw Deedee’s smile and she smiled back.
It was time to go. Deedee waited as her uncle offered compliments and promises, then they said good-bye. Deedee reviewed the day as the car moved into traffic.
“I had a very good day,” she announced, without any prompting. They both smiled, relieved.
“Think we should sign Da Crew? Get them into the studio?” Eric asked.
“Oh, yeah. That’ll be really good,” Deedee said. She looked directly at him.
“Yeah, I think so, too. We better make a move before someone else signs ‘em up.”
“Huh uh, cause you know they’re gonna win that talent show. They’re so good, I mean onstage and off. They’re really not the same.” Deedee elaborated on the girls’ versatility.
Eric drove on with a smile. Deedee sounded excited, and it felt like old times. He listened to her opinion on the girls’ strengths and weaknesses. He thought about signing the girls after the talent show, win or lose. Da Crew might be the antidote Deedee needed for a full recovery.
