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Liberty watched Aapeli pace the deck. He only spoke when spoken to and only then with the bare minimal of words to complete his part of the conversation. At that moment drops of sweat were running unchecked down his face. Even as short tempered as he had become, she would still have given anything to hear him rant and curse than endure his uneasy silence. He had never acted like this before and she didn’t know why he was now. And each day had only brought a new symptom to add to her concern.
Liberty busied herself checking gauges and wind direction, anything to stop from looking back over each time he paced by her. Their stop at Tinker’s had been brief. She had barely said hello to him when her father insisted she take advantage of Little Lake, to clean up and wash her hair. After enjoying the sun warmed water, she had tried to join in their conversation but was sent directly away to ready Airus for takeoff.
What had the two men talked about? It was clear by Aapeli’s expression, as she had helped him climb up the ladder, that he didn’t want her questioning him. Later, when she finally worked up the courage to ask why they were in such a hurry to reach Golden’s, he had only stared through her, as if he wasn’t really seeing her. That had been three days ago and the only changes she’d seen since then had been for the worse.
Why had her father decided to change their usual trading route? They had always stopped at Waters first, trading for fish, and from there headed to Billy’s for goat’s cheese. They’d never traveled to Golden’s until it was nearing harvest season. Liberty sensed her father was desperate to get there in time, but in time for what exactly – a mystery she couldn’t figure out.
“I’m going into the galley for an apple. Would you like one too?”
Aapeli stopped mid-pace and looked over, but before answering, he rolled his neck as it trying to get out a crick or two. “No, thank you.”
Liberty opened her mouth to argue but clapped it shut when he began pacing again. Why did he look so sad? And if he was worried about something, why didn’t he talk about it? Hadn’t she proven already that she had matured enough to handle even the toughest situation? He had to be trying to protect her from something, but what? She wished he trusted her enough to tell her.
Too upset now to watch him a moment longer, she stomped off to the galley. Since her father had been so busy staring at the deck, as if it held the answers to all of his problems, Liberty doubted he’d even noticed her leaving. Once in the galley, Liberty opened every drawer and cabinet within arm’s reach. There was no doubt that in the end she would eat the apple she had set aside for him that she now came across in one of them, for at least doing something – anything – would keep her mind occupied. When there were no other drawers to peer into, she opened the apple bin and unwrapped one of its apples. Leaving the wrapper on the counter, Liberty headed over and sat on the old wooden bench at the table. All she could do then, though, was stare at the apple in her hand, feeling too distraught to bite into it.
“I’m going back out and ask him what’s wrong.” Too nervous to hold the apple any longer, and afraid if she continued to do so she would only wind up bruising it, she gingerly placed it on the table, but then slapped the tabletop with so much force the apple nearly bounced off. Food was too scarce to waste even one apple so she grabbed it before it could fall to the floor then jumped up from the bench.
“Damn it! I’ve had enough of this shit. Father is going to tell me what’s going on, and I’m not letting him put me off again this time. I’m old enough to know what’s going on.” She rewrapped the apple and placed it back in its bin before heading out on deck – fully determined to find out what the hell was going on.
Liberty pushed through the galley’s swinging door with more force than necessary but all of that indignant energy dissipated when she saw her father writhing on the deck. His neck was extended and his arms were pressed down by his side as spasms rocked his body.
She ran over and wrapped her arms around him. “What’s wrong? What do you need me to do to help?” His muscles were taunt beneath her fingers and his jaw had clenched shut. His horrified expression shook her to the core but she held on, determined to keep him from hurting himself more on the hard planks of the deck. His lip had split and now bled, and the blood from the wound on his back pooled into her palm.
How long they stayed like this Liberty didn’t know, but by the time his muscles finally relaxed and he fell backward out of her arms, she too had a split lip and bruised eye from where he had head-butted her several times.
Nothing in Liberty’s life had ever prepared her for dealing with whatever was troubling her father. At a complete loss, she rushed to do what she knew how. He was bleeding, sweating profusely but at the same time shivering as if he were freezing to death. Liberty rushed around, gathering everything she needed to replace the busted stitches and again keep him warm with bedcovers. But then that was it, and she was left feeling powerless. None of what she had done was nearly enough.
She had re-stitched his wound and then he’d fallen asleep or unconscious, leaving Liberty this time to pace the deck. She eyed the horizon and wished with all her might that they would reach Golden’s in time. Aapeli obviously thought she could help or he wouldn’t have had Liberty plot their northerly course.
Liberty hoped he was right. She leaned on the railing and studied the white billowing clouds. She had always loved how they concealed the view of the land below. The war had ravished so much but the clouds always made her feel as if the world appeared fresh and clean, although the last few days had aged her too much ever to think that way again. Life and death struggles were now with her right here on Airus and no distorted view from above was ever going to help make her feel safe again.