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Moonlight filtered in through the open doorway, offering the only light in the cabin. It was all the light Liberty needed, though, to see her father. After hours of him fighting against whatever had taken over his body, he had finally settled, the only movement now his eyes lids fluttering. His fingers gripped hers, and she placed her other hand over his so he would know she wasn’t going anywhere. Golden was doing the same on the other side of the bed.
They both sat in silence and waited for death to come, something Liberty now welcomed. After such a courageous struggle on all of their parts, there was no doubt in her mind that it was the only thing that could save her father from his agonizing pain. She had been selfish her entire life but now she had to let those childish ways go and not think of herself. She couldn’t curse against what fate had handed her, but only plead that her father might find peace. That was clearly no longer possible here with her, but maybe it was elsewhere.
Liberty tried not to think about her life after his death. Any time her mind wandered in that direction she saw only loneliness, but she was thankful for the way her father had raised her. Each one of his rules had been drilled into her over and over again. He had known this day would come and he had tried to prepare her for it. And even though he told her not to love anyone, she suspected he had loved her.
Liberty had always wondered what love was and here it had been, right in front of her all this time. This man had found her alone in the middle of nowhere, had saved her and then raised her as if she were his own daughter. He had brought her up the only way he knew how and had given her his whole life and heart.
Tears ran down her cheeks onto their entwined fingers. How long they sat like this Liberty didn’t know, and even though she had thought herself prepared for her father’s leaving, when his last breath came and his fingers relaxed around hers, her heart froze with fear and pain. Liberty couldn’t say if it was she or Golden who had called out his name, but they both kissed his cheek.
Liberty might have stayed by his side for days had Golden not wrapped her arms around her and hugged her.
“It’s okay to love him. He would understand.” Golden pulled back and pushed the hair out of Liberty’s eyes.
“Aapeli was a good man. In spite of all of his hard and fast rules, I know he loved you. You were the joy of his life.” Golden now leant over and stroked Aapeli’s cheek. His expression was at last serene, no more pain to fight against.
Golden lowered her voice to a whisper. “You became his reason to live, so it’s okay to love him back.”
Liberty touched his hand and closed her eyes. “But if I give up following his rules, I’ll have nothing left of him.” If that was all it took to keep him close, she would pretend she didn’t love him. Maybe that would get her through the coming days and years without him.
Liberty opened her eyes and found Golden studying her. There was pity in her eyes but also understanding.
Golden placed a hand on Liberty’s. “Bring me more water and we’ll clean him up and brush his hair.” She tucked a long strand of it behind his ear. “We’ll put him in his best clothes. He’d like that, don’t you think?” The thought of burying her father beneath the cold earth made a shudder run through Liberty, but she nodded toward her father’s wardrobe. “His clothes are over there.” She hurried out to get the water before she could break down. She would grieve when her duties to her father were over, and only then would she decide what her father would have wanted her to do next.
The only thing Liberty did know for certain was that her father was right about love. It might not lead to hate but it most certainly led to pain.