After a lot of walking, I notice that everywhere we’ve been looks exactly the same. “Do you even know where you’re going?” I finally ask Niimi.
“Forward. Always forward. Never backward, Benny.”
“Yeah. So … in other words, we’re lost?” I ask.
“It appears that way. Doesn’t this tree look exactly like the tree we walked by twenty minutes ago?” she asks.
I’m a city kid. I can do sketchy neighborhoods and dark alleys, but I feel totally out of my element in forests. And I hate feeling out of my element. Especially when there are wild animals around.
“Niimi! It’s going to get dark soon!”
She laughs. “If only…”
“If only what?” I snap back.
She gives me the side-eye. “If only … we had a way of knowing which direction we were going.”
My stomach tightens. That’s impossible. I made sure no one was looking. Especially her. She was in the front seat. How could she possibly know I took it? Unless … “Holy crap! You totally set me up!” I shout.
“Set you up? Did I plant it in your backpack?” she asks.
“No. But you knew I’d take it,” I say.
“No one knew you would take it, except you,” she says.
“You walked me right into this trap. I should have never come to Grand Portage!”
“Your father said the same thing, many times, until the day he said coming here was the best thing he’s ever done.”
“Stop it! I’m not my dad. I’m nothing like him. And you know nothing about me, so just shut up and show me the way out of this stupid forest!” I shout even louder.
She thinks her blooming stuff is going to work on me. Well, it won’t. If she wants to get personal, then I can too …
“Forget my dad,” I say. “I want to talk about why you wear that mask.”
Her eyes turn wild. “Why did you take the compass?” she asks through her teeth.
“You tell me. You pretend to know all the answers. Or do I have to pay you first?”
She growls. “Tell me why you took the compass!”
“What does it matter?”
“Because everything we do matters. What we choose to do determines who we choose to be. Why did you take the compass?” she repeats.
“Because I’m a thief! That’s all I am. Without stealing, I am nothing!” I shout so loud that it sends birds launching out of the trees and taking to the sky. “You satisfied?” I ask her. “Forget it. Here’s your damn compass!” I say, and pull it out of my bag. I hold it out to her, but her hands stay at her waist.
“You stole it. It’s yours now,” she says. “Isn’t that how it works?”
“I was just gonna sell it when I left this place. But if you need it to get us out of here, then take it!”
“I don’t need it. I know exactly where we are,” she says, and walks off.
Another test? I’m so sick of this. “Oh, so you just lied this entire time about being lost? Just like how you lie about everything else. You trick them all into believing they can be superheroes. But I bet Lulu is still afraid to sing. Hank will still want to kill animals. Alex still won’t like his dad. People don’t bloom! What you sold them is a lie. And that makes you not a superhero, but a villain,” I shout as she walks, but … She stops, turns around, and approaches me.
Her eyes look aflame. “People do bloom. But you have to be brave enough to do it. Like your dad. Believe it or not, he’s a changed man. The only one refusing to learn from their mistakes is you,” she says.
“At least I’m not the one hiding my face from the world. I mean, are you ever gonna take off that ridiculous mask? Shouldn’t you have grown out of playing that silly superhero game by now? What are you, five?”
“You want to see my superpower, Benny?”
“You have none,” I say. “Superheroes are something only losers believe in because it distracts them from the truth. And the truth is, life sucks. They look for someone else to solve their problems, but news flash, Niimi, we are walking, talking skin bags full of blood, bones, and problems. At least I’m brave enough to admit that.”
“You are many things, but brave is not one of them,” she says, and shoves me in the chest.
“At least I’m not afraid to show my face,” I say.
“Sure, you are. You just mask it in other ways.”
“Is that your superpower? Just saying catchy little bumper sticker phrases all the time?”
“No, this is my superpower,” she says, and CRACK!
Niimi lands a crisp left cross. It hits me in the freakin’ exact spot George and Lulu hit me in. My nose stings. My knees buckle. I fall back, and my head slams onto the ground.
Lights out.
“Wake up, Benny Bear.”
Seconds pass. Maybe minutes. I have no idea. I open my eyes, and my vision immediately blurs. Did she seriously just hit me? I jolt from the thunder that loudly cracks above my head and rolls across the sky. Oh, no. Where there’s thunder comes rain. Niimi steps forward and stands over me. She removes her mask, but my vision is too blurry to make out her face. “Niimi? Is that you?” I ask, trying to clear my eyes by rubbing them.
Lightning strikes a tree near us, sending sparks everywhere. I watch them fall down to the ground like electric raindrops. And when I look back to Niimi, she is gone.
“Niimi?”
I try to stand up—whoa, I’m a bit dizzy. Forget bloomer, that girl should be a boxer. I look in all directions but see only trees. Then it begins to rain. Oh, no. This can’t be happening. More thunder growls above me, like hungry sky hounds searching for a meal. They shake the trees back and forth, causing birds to escape and squirrels to scurry away. This is legit scary. I need to get the heck out of this forest.
“Niimi? Where are you?” I shout.
“Seriously! I’m lost. Where are you?” I shout even louder.
Niimi is nowhere to be found. All I can hear is howling wind all around me, and the whips of lightning cracking the sky. I can’t believe she punched me! I can’t believe she left me here. Was this her plan all along? Was there never a boot camp? Was this always just a way to get rid of me? My dad doesn’t want me. My mom doesn’t want me. No one does. Well screw them. Screw the whole world. I don’t need any of them.
“Fine!” I shout. “I don’t need you!”
I take a few steps left and stop. I hear something behind me. I whip around but see nothing. This is not funny. There are wild animals out here. I take a few more steps, then see something moving behind the brush. It looks like a large shadow. What the heck is that? I turn in a circle. The hairs on my entire body stand. Fear grabs my throat. Come on! Please just be an overweight beaver or something. Please.
But in front of me, about twenty yards away, I see a freaking bear step out from the bush. I nearly collapse. Bears attack people when provoked. I need to be perfectly still. I wish I’d paid better attention in class when we learned about bears. Am I supposed to run? Stop drop and roll? Or was that for a fire? Am I supposed to wave my arms and yell? Play dead? It stares at me and sniffs the air. It smells me. Its eyes are black and locked on to me. It stands on its two hind legs and roars. Its teeth are so sharp. They’d easily crush my bones.
“Niimi!” I whisper. The bear moves closer toward me, growling and swiping the ground, kicking dirt up into the air. Is it challenging me to a fight?
I give up.
You win.
I think I need to run … But my legs won’t move. I can’t climb a tree. Everyone knows bears are great climbers. I’m screwed. My heart is beating so fast that it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. It’s so close now that I feel its breath heating up my face. I don’t want to die. I’m not ready. I close my eyes and whisper, “Somebody please help me,” over and over again.
And after about twenty seconds, I am still alive. I peek one eye open, then the other. The bear is gone. I finally release my breath in one huge exhale. Why didn’t the bear attack? Why am I not torn into pieces right now? Then I look down, and at my feet is the stuffed bear. The same stuffed bear that got me in trouble. The same stuffed bear Lulu grabbed off the shelf. I drop to my knees, facing the stuffed animal.
I’m exhausted, soaked head to toe, and more confused than I have ever been before. Even more confused than all those nights I’d lie awake, wondering why my dad didn’t want me anymore. I can’t believe I was almost killed by a bear.
Or was I? Was the bear real? Was it just this stuffed animal, and I am seeing things like Lulu and Hank and Alex?
What does all this mean? I should be relieved the real bear is gone … but I’m not. I’m too overwhelmed. I am too scared. Too confused about everything. Too wet. Too cold. Too hungry. Too tired. I just want to go home. I just want my mom to tell me everything’s going to be okay, even if it’s a lie.
“Okay! You win! I give up!” I shout in all directions.
Oh, no. I’m breaking down. I’ve officially reached my breaking point. I need my mom. She never left me. She bent over backward her entire life to not only be my mom, but also be my dad after he left. Please don’t give up on me, Mom. Everyone else can hate me and think I’m nothing but trouble, but not you, Mom. I just want to curl up in a warm blanket and have her tell me that I am not a failure. I am not a disappointment. I’m still her son, and she still loves me.
Tears pour out like a storm over my face. The guilt of everything I put my mom through rushes down my cheeks in remorseful streams. And the more I cry, the less it rains.
After crying every last drop out of me, I finally get up and see something around the stuffed bear’s neck. It’s a red ribbon. And attached to the ribbon is a folded note. I unfold it. It reads Home is W.
I pull the compass out of my pocket and open it to see where west is. I just need to get out of this forest and get back to my dad’s house. At least it’s no longer raining. I stuff the bear into my backpack and begin walking.
Too many terrifying minutes later, where I gave nearly every tree a double take and jumped at each little sound, I finally reach the end of the forest, where the roads begin. George’s bike is leaning against a tree, waiting for me.
None of this makes sense. Has Niimi been my drill sergeant all along? Am I blooming?
I stuff the compass into my backpack and get onto George’s bike. This has been the weirdest day of my life, and I still need to find my way back to my dad’s house.