“…AND BOY, DO I HAVE a problem. You see, folks, I just got this newsletter from the Washington State Indian Tribes for Aboriginal Gambling. The W.S.I.T.A.G. How do you say that anyway? What do you think it means in Indian? Well, I think it means they want to turn our state into a nest of sin and debauchery.
“The W.S.I.T.A.G. wants to increase the number of full-scale gambling casinos in Washington. We’re talking blackjack, poker, slot machines. We’re talking roulette, keno, bingo, with absolutely no bet limits or state supervision. That’s right, folks, the Indian tribes in this state want to subvert our constitution. They want to ignore the wishes of our government officials, of the voting public, and establish Vegas-style gambling casinos, complete with show girls, neon lights, and Wayne Newton.
“The Indian tribes insist that they have the legal right to establish casinos. They contend that the state has no say in these matters because of treaties that the tribes signed a century ago with the federal government. Can you believe this, folks? The Indian tribes believe that they are above the law. I wonder how far these Indians are willing to take this. What’s going to happen next? When you wake up tomorrow morning, will there be an Indian tribe camped out on your front yard, demanding that your land revert back to them?
“Listen, folks, I admit that what was done to the Indians was wrong. But that was hundreds of years ago, and you and I were not the people who did it. We have offered our hands in friendship to the Indians, but they insist on their separation from normal society. They are an angry, bitter people, and treat the rest of us with disdain and arrogance. Maybe this whole Indian gambling thing is about revenge on the white man. They want to take all of our money. They want to corrupt our values. They want to teach our children that greed and avarice are good things.
“Let me give you an example of what Indian gambling has brought to our state. I want to tell you a little story about a young man named David Rogers. David is a student at the University of Washington. An upstanding young man, a good son, an English major who loved Hemingway. He shares a house with his brother, Aaron, who called me up this morning. Aaron told me all about his brother. You see, a couple days ago, David Rogers wanted to go gambling at the Tulalip Indian Casino just north of Seattle.
“Now, David didn’t want to go alone, so he invited his brother to come along. But he refused. In fact, Aaron tried to discourage his little brother, but David was seduced by the easy money he thought he was going to make. Aaron kept telling his brother it was dangerous. He reminded his younger brother about the scalping and murder of Justin Summers. But David would not be denied.
“So, David went to the casino alone, and, lo and behold, he won two thousand dollars at the slot machines. Can you believe that? He must have thought he was the luckiest man alive. And you know what, he was lucky for a few minutes. He was also smart. Most people would have gambled their winnings away, thinking they were on a hot streak. But David, despite the protest of the casino management, collected his money and left the casino, anxious to celebrate with his brother. He left the casino and he has not been seen since.
“That’s right, folks. David is missing. His pickup was found in the casino parking lot, but there is no trace of him. He’s disappeared. Now, I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I can just imagine what happened.”
Truck sipped at his coffee.
“The Indian tribes of Washington State have declared a cultural war on us, and the weapon they’ve chosen is the casino.
“What do you think, folks? Give me a call…”