W hen people ask me what the purpose of ritual is, I generally reply with the word “connection.” The idea of connection is readily apparent in the most common types of rituals performed by Witches and Pagans. During the sabbats, we connect with the earth, the turn of the seasons, and the Wheel of the Year. When we practice spellwork, we connect with the magickal current that has been a part of the human experience for tens of thousands of years, even if we aren’t always consciously aware of it. Some Witches and Pagans connect with higher powers and energies during ritual: ancestors, deities, the Fae, the Watchtowers, and many other entities.
There are also the rituals we do that connect us with community. Sometimes those gestures are small, perhaps sharing food and drink in the ritual context of “cakes and ale,” while other times they are large, such as an initiation into a tradition or group. You’ll find a lot of community rituals in this book, many of them obvious, such as handfastings and blessings for newborn children (often known as Wiccanings). But the magick and wonder of Life Ritualized is that you’ll find other things to connect to in the course of reading this book that are mostly overlooked, and I know this is true because it happened to me.
When engaging in a ritual for what might feel like a mundane rite of passage, such as getting a driver’s license, we are still engaging in connection. If you are a parent, rituals for events like this offer a chance to connect with your now-driving young adult, and for those who have just received their driver’s license, they are connecting to what they have accomplished along with the potential and possibilities that come with such an achievement. Those are all important energies and feelings to connect with, and doing so through ritual makes them both more memorable and more powerful.
What I love about this book is that it made me cry in places. Not all rituals take place in happy and triumphant times; sometimes they take place during times of extreme sadness or sorrow. No one wants to bury a family member or a pet, but such experiences are a part of our existence and can’t simply be ignored. When we engage in ritual during those circumstances, we also connect with things, even if it’s hard to feel that connection in the midst of our grief. In a mundane sense, we connect with the memories of those we’ve lost, forging a place for them that will exist forever in our hearts. In a magickal sense (we are Witches, after all), we connect with their spirits, knowing that they will continue to be with us in the future, though in a different way.
One of the hardest things to do in our society today is to connect with ourselves. There is constant pressure for us to be something we are not, and to live a life not in accordance with our true wills. We are assigned names, identities, and gender roles by our parents, work associates, and sometimes even our friends; some just don’t match who we really are. You’ll find rituals to claim your true name or authentic self in this book. These are the rituals that help us connect to who we really are, and such rites might be the most important ones in this book.
If rituals are about connection, then it holds true that some rites might be about connection’s opposite: separation. There are times when we need to cut the cords that bind us to one another, whether that’s a failed marriage, relationship, or even a coven. Moving forward can be challenging and difficult, but ritual provides context and meaning for why we have to forge ahead. Breaking the chains that hold us to others also serves as another source of connection; a connection to the brighter days that will come when we you do what’s best for ourselves, even if it’s painful in the short term.
As a Witch I often overlook the importance of ritual when it comes to connecting with people from outside of magickal traditions and backgrounds. One of the best things about this book is just how practical it is. If you are planning a baby shower or a handfasting, you are most likely going to end up inviting people from outside the Pagan world, and having rituals that include everyone, regardless of belief system, is something overlooked in many Witch books. Most of us share energies and relationships with all sorts of people; rituals that allow the non-Witches who populate our lives to participate help us build stronger connections to these folx.
Many Witch books feel as if they are written by people whose experiences aren’t honest; that’s not the case with Phoenix and Gwion. When they share a ritual with you, it comes from their myriad of experiences as Witches over the past twenty-five years. They’ve raised children, lost jobs, dealt with heartache and loss, and been a part of practically every coven situation. The rites in this book are not hypotheticals—they come from two lives lived with meaning and authenticity. (And when they need a little bit of help, they turn to the fabulous Misha Magdalene. I literally squealed when I saw Misha in these pages.)
This is a book you’ll probably read in one sitting, but it won’t be one you’ll set aside afterward. It will be one you flip through in the months and years to come when you need to capture a moment or an emotion through ritual. This is the rare book that is just as magickal as it is practical. It’s also that elusive “second-level” book for Witches and Pagans that shares the types of essential rituals and practices that are often ignored by other authors.
One of my philosophies as a Witch is to continually “find the sacred in the mundane.” In the pages of this book, you’ll find the rituals that will help to manifest that reality. There are many instances in this book where Phoenix and Gwion take the average moments that are often overlooked and turn them into something inspiring and wonderful. After reading this book, you’ll see ritual in a whole new light, and hopefully you will make many of the powerful and sacred connections that make life truly worth living.
Jason Mankey
April 2020
Jason Mankey is a third-degree Gardnerian High Priest and helps run two Witchcraft covens in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife, Ari. Jason is a popular speaker at Pagan and Witchcraft events across North America and Great Britain. He is the channel manager at Patheos Pagan, the world’s most-read Pagan blogging site, and writes there at Raise the Horns. He also writes for the magazine Witches & Pagans. Jason is the author of Transformative Witchcraft, The Witch’s Athame, and The Witch’s Book of Shadows and the coauthor of The Witch’s Altar.