Chapter Sixteen

Driving the Deere came as natural as casting a fishing line. Gabe steered around a boulder, making note to come back and remove it from the field. “The Fourth of July is usually a weekend of reunions, but I doubt if Nick or Zac will make it to the auction. Too bad—the folks would really like to see both of them.”

“Your brothers?”

Not a topic he generally wanted to pursue, but at her spark of interest, he’d give anything to have that gentle voice continue to wrap around him. “Let’s see, it’s almost July, so Nick is in the thick of rodeo season. He’ll be a contender in the NFR again this year.”

“NFR?”

“National Finals Rodeo. The biggest rodeo event of the year. Nick’s qualified the last two years. Plans on winning overall this year.”

She settled deeper in the seat and leaned closer. The lemon scent of her shampoo surrounded him. He could drive the tractor all day.

“And your other brother?”

“Zac loves life in the city.” Gabe shifted gears. “Never knew anyone as anxious to leave Hawk Ridge as my little brother, Isaac. Actually, he’s not so little. He’s the same age as Jennifer, two years younger than me. They went to school together. Jennifer did everything she could to make him notice her, but Zac had no intentions of being saddled in a nothing little town.” He didn’t want to mention Jennifer wore braids and oversized work shirts as a teen. Zac ran after girls in snug jeans and big hair. “Zac runs the operation from Denver.”

“I thought you ran the ranch.”

“I run the ranch, but Zac’s our front guy. Keeps his finger on the trends of ranching.” Gabe shook his head, always marveling at how Zac juggled all the assets. “I tell him where we’re going. He tells me how to get there. Works pretty well.”

“Is he married?”

Gabe shook his head. “Single and lovin’ the life. Mom hates it. She hates Nick staying away, too. But too many memories here on the ranch keep him from coming home.”

“Aren’t too many rodeos around here anyway, right?”

“He only started riding bulls again after his wife died.”

She looked up at him. “I heard. I’m so sorry.”

Sunlight filtered through the windshield bathing her smooth cheek. She tilted her head to listen to him, a faint line forming between her brows.

Just keep talking, Davidson.

“Since she died, he avoids the Circle D like the plague. His sending back cattle for the auction is the only connection we have with him anymore. The separation is killing Mom. She thinks it’s her fault. But it’s not. Nick’s just bitter over the hand life dealt him. Dad keeps his nose out of Nick’s life, and Mom prays the good Lord keeps her eldest safe until she can make amends.”

Gabe let the tractor choose its course as they swept a wide circle in the field. She sat up straighter and studied the valley pasture.

“How in the world can anyone not love it up here? It’s beautiful, it’s warm, it’s quiet. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m going to have a hard time leaving.” Her long lashes lowered as she squinted against the sun. A smile tugged at her mouth. “And I was the one who didn’t want to stay.”

I didn’t want you to, either. “Hawk Ridge isn’t for everyone.”

She tilted her chin and searched his face. “Is Hawk Ridge for you?”

He looked over the fields, trees and mountains. He’d die if he ever had to leave. This was where he was born; this was where he wanted to live out his days. “Me? I’m just too lazy to ever leave home.”

“Lazy? Are you kidding me? You’re the hardest-working man I’ve ever met. And the most patient. You always make time for Jason.” She stopped her tirade and took a deep breath. “None of my friends take time for Jason except when he’s with me. I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve appreciated the attention he’s gotten from you and Hank and everyone up here.”

Her lips moved and all Gabe could think about was kissing her. Again. He’d been thinking about it nonstop. Sunshine heated the air, filling his senses with her silky-soft hair. Her cheek just inches from his, he leaned closer until their shoulders touched. He guided the tractor into place along the fence line and let it idle. He reached out and rubbed her cheek.

He angled her chin up and studied her perfect profile. Beautiful, creamy skin. Finely shaped brows and a straight nose.

Her breath stilled. He moved closer until his lips brushed hers. “May I kiss you?”

Sunlight sparkled in her eyes. “You remembered to ask.”

He brushed his lips over hers, the sweet softness enough to test his restraint to the limit. As she pressed closer and sighed, her lashes fluttered closed. He kissed her with all the tenderness in his heart. Her sigh told him he’d accomplished his mission. She pulled back.

His heart rate accelerated. What happened? He studied her rosy cheek as she looked out the window, her lips pressed together. “Melanie?”

A smile played on her lips—a smile creating a beckoning light in her eyes.

“Umm. Thank you.” She motioned toward the door. “I think I better go check on those pies.”

 

Sammy’s Burger Hut is hiring. I’ve waitressed before. Melanie strolled down the path with her nose in the sweet, warm air. Insects buzzed around, and layers of pine needles cushioned her steps. This was what she needed. More sunshine and less stuffy office.

A root caught her toe and she stumbled, knocking her out of her daydream. Get real. She considered supporting herself and Jason solely on a small-town waitress job? Melanie didn’t need a new office. She needed a few hours of sleep. Since the time Gabe had kissed her, she hadn’t been able to think of anything else. She needed a change, but she needed to make that decision with a clear head. She was just worn out.

She came to the bottom of the path and turned toward the ranch house. Fletcher ran across the yard, Jason on his heels. Gabe poked out the kitchen door, throwing a football toward Jason. Jason missed by a long shot, but Fletcher had his back and retrieved the ball, careful to keep it away from both Gabe and Jason. Gabe’s full-bodied laughter rang through the air.

Butterflies wearing spurs took flight in Melanie’s stomach.

His sleeves rolled to the elbows, Gabe swooped on the dog. Fletcher dodged the hit. Jason circled wide, running to cut off any escape. Gabe scrambled up the center. Fletcher weighed his options. Jason closed in; Gabe swung around.

Fletcher swiveled around and jumped the fence behind him to victory.

Gabe bent over to catch his breath.

Weary though she was, Melanie couldn’t deny the scene before her pulled at her heart. She’d spent the entire night playing Gabe’s kiss over in her mind. Each time she melted against him.

Heart pounding, she drank in every detail of the man playing with her son. Even in work clothes, Gabe looked better than any man she’d ever met in the office. She doubted he was even aware of how attractive he was. And playing football with a dog and child? Melanie couldn’t think of anything sweeter.

Tears spilled over and down her cheeks before she knew what was happening. When she hiccupped for air, she knew there was no stopping the waterworks.

She pivoted on the spot and marched into the thick of pines.

The river where they’d spent the afternoon that first Sunday gurgled in the distance. Pine needles crunched beneath her feet as flies buzzed around her head and the occasional gnat dived into her lip balm. Pushing aside the last bough, she sidestepped down to the bank.

The water appeared lower than the last time she’d been there. Rapids formed between the rocks out in the middle of the river, leaving calm ponds along the edges. She tore off her shoes and socks and stuck her feet off the edge of the bank, the cold water splashing between her toes. She closed her eyes and listened to the rush of the current. Lord, I’ve been away too long. Please forgive me. What am I supposed to do?

Tipping her face to the sun, she relaxed beneath the warm rays. A soft breeze played with her hair. A light spray of water moistened her face.

What do I do, Lord?

“Quiet and peaceful, isn’t it?”

Melanie jumped at the unexpected voice. Her eyelids popped open as she caught her balance. “What are you doing here?”

Gabe stood about ten feet away, his arms folded across his chest. “Remember our last conversation about not going anywhere by yourself?”

“I’ve been here before. I thought you couldn’t go off into uncharted territory.”

“If I hadn’t followed you, we wouldn’t have known you knew where you were.”

He kept a straight face. Her shoulders tensed as he continued to stare at her. She hadn’t meant to worry anyone.

The familiar dimple appeared. “Have to keep an eye out all the time.”

She relaxed. I’ll bet you do. She turned back to the river. “I just needed time to think. To be alone.”

“Fine.”

She heard gravel crunch behind her, then listened as he found a seat. She frowned. What part of wanting to be alone didn’t he understand? “I came here for quiet.”

“You won’t even know I’m here.”

She closed her eyes again. Lord, how can I pray with him here? I’d like to talk, just You and me. The echo of rushing water filled her ears. The breeze continued to flutter her hair across her face.

In the gentle spray of river mist, she didn’t think one tear-drop would appear too obvious. Maybe one tear from each eye. Why now? She’d had life all figured out. It wasn’t a bad life, was it? Why was normal slipping through her fingers?

Two tears became a torrent. Gentle hands cupped her shoulders and turned her away from the river to a solid chest that smelled like summer sun. His solid support melted her resolve.

“They don’t even know he exists,” she hiccupped between sobs. “My parents have a grandson they don’t even know about.”

He rubbed her back, making her sobs come harder. He shouldn’t be nice to her. He wasn’t going to be so nice when she told him the whole story. Her arms encircled his waist.

“My folks wanted me to put him up for adoption. The inconvenience, the gossip, was all they’d worried about.” The fights and accusations still rang through her head.

“Paul wanted me to get rid of him. When I said no, he dumped me. Just like that. Poof.” She squeezed Gabe tighter, the memory of the nastiness making her sick. “He never claimed Jason—swore he’d prove me lying if I ever tried to come after him.” She came up for air. “My best friend started dating him.” The humiliation and agony of that betrayal hurt her more than any heartache from Paul.

She smacked her forehead into Gabe’s chest. She gave him credit. He hung in there for the whole, unvarnished truth. She’d expected him to run long ago. “I want Jason to have what he’s found here—a home, family, love. Instead, all he has is me.”

His arms tightened around her. She pressed her ear into his chest, absorbing his strength. “Why can’t I be more like you? So strong, so patient, so…so confident. Gabe, I’m too scared to go back and make things right. I’m so weak.”

“Shhh. There’s nothing to be scared of.” His voice rumbled along with his strong, steady heartbeat. “Don’t bear such needless pain.”

Needless pain? She deserved every ounce of burden on her heart.

“Dear Heavenly Father.” His chin rested atop her head. “So much hurt and pain remain buried deep, waiting for Your love and mercy to wash it away.”

Praying? He prayed for…her? A muscle twitched in her arm as she held on tighter.

“Dear Lord, only You see the cause, only You know the reason. Fill Your children with the realization of the salvation You bought for us with Your blood, ours for the taking if we just trust You.”

Fire ignited in the pit of her belly where only moments earlier a ball of ice sat. Her hands slid down along his warm, solid forearms. She squeezed his hands.

“Fill Melanie with Your peace and fill her with Your understanding. You are bigger than any trouble on this earth. Have mercy, oh Jesus.”

“Mercy,” she whispered. Standing beside rushing waters, her soul cried for cleansing. As her confession of sin, fear, doubts and everything else silently poured out of her, light and relief filled in. After crying her eyes out earlier, she didn’t think she had any tears left, but she did.

 

So much hurt and suffering she’d borne alone. Anger rose in him as he tightened his arms around her. He’d ask forgiveness for judging later as a deeply buried vocabulary exploded in his head toward the man who’d earned her love and trust and then cruelly crushed it into the ground.

Fierce protectiveness shot through his veins. Melanie had dealt with difficult situations and made hard choices all by herself. Decisions she should never have faced in the first place.

Gabe held on as Melanie mumbled words, interrupted by sobs, hiccups and sniffs. Years of hurt and pain flowed out. He hadn’t known if he was doing the right thing by following her. He just didn’t want her getting lost.

He rubbed his cheek in her soft hair. Her impression of his life was a lie. He should probably tell her, but why be selfish for the sake of unloading his conscience? He wasn’t strong. He wasn’t independent. He just did what needed to be done.

He’d never had the desire to leave, to make his own mark in the world. He still looked to his father for advice, for direction. Her weak? She was the strongest person he’d ever met.

In his world, everyone else did the leaving. He picked up the pieces and held things together best he could. He was no hero. But for now, he’d let her cry on his shoulder and look at him like he was a knight in shining armor.

At the end of the week, she’d be leaving him, too.

 

She stared at her cell phone.

Snap it open, punch in the numbers, hit Send.

Melanie reached for her glass of lemonade and took a long drink. With stiff fingers, she opened the phone and entered the numbers. She brought the glass to her lips again.

Her thumb rubbed the Send button.

One more drink.

Send.

The ring came through, indicating the connection made. A lump stuck in her throat. Lord, what am I going to say?

Three rings. Four rings. Five—

“Hello?”

“Dad?” The name flew out of her mouth. “It’s me.”

Silence thickened like Grace’s gravy. “Melanie? Are you all right?”

Her shoulders grew stiff all the way up her neck at his fearful tone. “I’m fine, Daddy. How are you?”

An audible sigh shuddered across the connection. “Fine. Mother’s Day was a few Sundays ago. We tried to call you.”

Mother’s Day? How could she have forgotten? “Sorry, Dad. I’ve been gone the last few weeks. Guess I lost track of time.” What an understatement. “And you?”

“Things just don’t change around here. I’ve been golfing and your mom’s been busy with foundation work. She’s in the middle of planning a big fundraiser. Been keeping her busy. Wait a second. Ester, come here!” A muffled conversation sounded through the covered mouthpiece. “Talk.”

“Hello?” Her mother’s puzzled voice came on the line.

“Hi, Mom. It’s me.”

“Melanie! Are you hurt? Are you in trouble? Do you need anything?” She stopped and caught her breath. “Mother’s Day was a few weeks ago.”

Comic relief of sorts loosened her back muscles. Mom hadn’t changed. “I’m really sorry about missing it, and no, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to hear your voices.”

Her mother’s silent reaction lengthened about as much as her father’s had. “You do? I don’t know what to say.”

It felt good to slip into the familiar. “Um, I was wondering. I’m finishing up a project in a couple of days and was wondering if we could come by the house. I want to introduce you to someone.”

“We?” Her squeal practically jumped across the airwaves. “Melanie! You’re bringing home a boyfriend?”

She winced. “Not exactly.”

“Oh.”

Her heart fell. Nothing had changed, absolutely nothing. She drew a deep breath. “Mom, I’d like you to meet your grandson.”