Characters
ARIMANE
CHEMISTRY ADVISOR
MECHANICAL ADVISOR
ORMUZ
SECRETARY
ANATOMY ADVISOR
ECONOMIST
MINISTER OF THE WATERS
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR
THERMODYNAMIC ADVISOR
MESSENGER
The stage, as far as possible, is open and deep. A massive, rough-
hewn table, chairs made from blocks of stone. An enormous clock
ticking very slowly and loudly, and, in place of the hours,
the face has hieroglyphics, algebraic symbols, zodiac signs.
A door at the back.
ARIMANE (in his hand, open, is a letter with many seals; his manner is of someone in mid-conversation): Distinguished gentlemen, it is therefore a matter of concluding, I would even say crowning, our hard-won achievement. As I have had the honor of demonstrating to you, the Management, despite some minor reservations, and suggesting some nonessential modifications to our operation, is generally satisfied both with our organizational plan and with its current management. Earning particular praise was the elegant and practical solution to the problem of oxygen regeneration (he nods toward the THERMODYNAMIC ADVISOR, who bows in thanks); the felicitous process proposed and realized by the Chemistry Advisor (nod and bow as above) for the closure of the nitrogen cycle; and, in another field, no less important, the development of the wing beat, for which I am pleased to pass on the Management’s highest praise to the Mechanical Advisor (nod and bow as above), along with the directive that those who assisted him—the person in charge of the birds and the person in charge of the insects—should also share in the praise. Finally, though their manufacturing experience cannot be said to be extensive, I must laud the diligence and skill of the employees, thanks to whom waste material, units that failed inspection, and production discards were reduced to more than satisfactory margins.
In its daily communication, the Management (shows the letter) most explicitly expresses its continued insistence on a prompt conclusion to the design work regarding the Man model. We shall therefore start resolutely probing into the details of the project in order to better conform to our superiors’ directives.
ORMUZ (a sad and downtrodden character. During ARIMANE’s entire speech he showed signs of anxiety and disapproval; on several occasions he attempted to speak, then, as if he didn’t dare, he sat down. He speaks in a timid voice, with hesitations and pauses, as if he found himself at a loss for words): I would like to beg my distinguished colleague and brother to give a public reading of the motion approved some time ago by the Council of Executive Directors, regarding the subject of Man. Much time has passed, and I fear that some of those concerned no longer remember its content.
ARIMANE (visibly annoyed: he makes an ostentatious display of looking at his wristwatch and at the large clock): Colleague Secretary, I must ask you to search among the records for the most recent draft of the motion regarding Man. I don’t remember the exact date, but you should be able to find it among the papers from around the time of the first Placentalia test reports. I beseech you to do this immediately; the fourth glaciation is about to begin and I wouldn’t want to have to postpone everything yet again.
SECRETARY (he has in the meantime searched for and found the motion in a voluminous file; he reads in an official voice): “The Council of Executive Directors, persuaded that (incomprehensible muttering) . . . ; considering (as above) . . . with the intention of (as above) abiding by the superior interests of the (as above) DEEMS IT APPROPRIATE for the design and creation of an animal species distinct from those which have so far been realized, and meeting the following requirements:
(a) a special aptitude for creating and using instruments;
(b) the capacity to express himself articulately, for example, through signs, sounds, and whatever other means each relevant technician deems fitting to this end;
(c) suitability to life under extreme working conditions;
(d) a proclivity for community life, to a level that will be experimentally determined for optimum value.
The technicians and the qualified departments are strongly requested to take maximum interest in the problem above stated, which is of the utmost urgency, and for which a swift and brilliant solution is desired.
ORMUZ (abruptly rises to his feet and speaks with the haste of the shy): I have never concealed the fact that I have been opposed from the start to the creation of the so-called Man. Already at the time when the Management, rather superficially (murmuring: ORMUZ takes a deep breath, hesitates, then continues), formulated the first draft of the motion just read, I pointed out the dangers associated with this so-called Man’s integration into the equilibrium of the existing planet. Naturally, understanding the importance that for more than obvious reasons the Management attaches to the problem in question, and the proverbial obstinacy (murmuring, comments) of the same Management, I realize that it is by now too late to instigate the withdrawal of the motion. I’ll therefore limit myself to suggesting case by case and in a purely advisory capacity only those modifications and those mitigations to the Council’s ambitious program which, in my opinion, will allow for its realization without excessive trauma in either the short or the long term.
ARIMANE: Fine, fine, distinguished colleague. Your reservations are well-known, as is your personal skepticism and pessimism, and, finally, your interesting report on the questionable result of similar experiments conducted by you yourself in different eras and on other planets, at a time when we all had a freer hand. Between ourselves, those attempts of yours at Superanimals were so packed with reason and common sense, from inception so jammed with geometry, music, and wisdom, that they made even the chickens giggle. They reeked of antiseptic and inorganic chemistry. Anyone with a certain firsthand knowledge of things in this world, or in any other world, for that matter, would have understood their incompatibility with the surrounding environment, an environment necessarily at once putrid and florid, teeming, chaotic, mutable.
I will take the liberty of repeating to you that it is precisely because of such failures that the Management insists, indeed urges, that this by now ancient problem be steadfastly faced up to, with seriousness and competence (he intentionally repeats himself), I said with seriousness and competence; and that our long-awaited guest (lyrically), the master, the connoisseur of good and evil, make his appearance—he, that is, whom the Council of Executive Directors has elegantly defined as the being composed in the image and likeness of his creator. (Sedate, official applause)
Back to work then, gentlemen, and once more permit me to remind you that time is running out.
ANATOMY ADVISOR: I ask leave to speak.
ARIMANE: Our colleague the Anatomy Advisor will now take the floor.
ANATOMY ADVISOR: Insofar as my specific expertise allows, I will briefly formulate the problem. In the first place, it would be illogical to start from scratch, ignoring all the good work that has been done up until now on Earth. We already possess an animal and plant world more or less in equilibrium; I therefore recommend to our colleagues in design that they abstain from overly intrepid changes and from overly bold innovations on models already realized. The field is already far too vast. If I were to permit myself indiscretions verging on the limits of professionalism, I could keep you here quite a while listening to the numerous projects that have accumulated on my desk (not to mention the ones that find their way into my trash can). Mind you, the material in question is often rather interesting and, in any case, original: organisms designed for temperatures varying from –270° to +300°C, studies on colloidal systems in liquid carbon dioxide, metabolisms without nitrogen or without carbon, and so on. One guy even proposed a line of exclusively metallic live models; another, an ingenious, almost perfectly self-sufficient vesicular organism that was lighter than air, because it was inflated with hydrogen extracted from water by means of a theoretically flawless enzymatic system, and used the wind to navigate the entire surface of the Earth without notable energy expenditure.
I mention these curiosities essentially in order to give you an idea of the so to speak negative aspect of my duties. In several cases, we are dealing with potentially fertile ideas; but it would be, in my opinion, an error to let ourselves be distracted by their indisputable fascination. It seems to me unquestionable, if for no other reason than time and simplicity, that for the project under discussion the point of departure should be sought in one of the fields in which our experience has been tested most successfully and for the longest duration. This time, we cannot permit ourselves trials, do-overs, corrections: we must heed the warning of the disastrous failure of the great Sauria, which on paper was really very promising, and which, fundamentally, wasn’t so far off the traditional schemes. Leaving aside, for obvious reasons, the plant realm, I would like to bring the Mammalia and the Arthropoda to the designers’ attention (prolonged rustling, comments), and I will not conceal that my personal predilection is for the latter.
ECONOMIST: As is both my habit and my duty, I shall intervene unsolicited. Colleague Anatomist, tell me: what, according to you, should Man’s dimensions be?
ANATOMY ADVISOR (taken unawares): But . . . truly . . . (he calculates in a low voice, scribbling numbers and sketches on a piece of paper in front of him) let’s see . . . here, from about sixty centimeters to fifteen or twenty linear meters. Compatible with the unit price and with the requirements for locomotion, I would opt for the larger dimensions, ensuring, it seems to me, a greater chance of success in the inevitable competition with other species.
ECONOMIST: Given your preference for Arthropoda, are you thinking of a Man around twenty meters tall with an external skeleton?
ANATOMY ADVISOR: Certainly: allow me to remind you, in all modesty, of the elegance of my innovation. With a supporting external skeleton, a single structure satisfies the requirements for support, locomotion, and defense; the difficulty of growth, as has been noted, can easily be avoided through a kind of artificial moult, something I have recently developed. The introduction of chitin as the construction material . . .
ECONOMIST (steely): Are you aware of how much chitin costs?
ANATOMY ADVISOR: No, but in any case . . .
ECONOMIST: That’s enough. I have sufficient information to firmly oppose your proposal for a twenty-meter arthropod man. And, on further thought, not one measuring even five meters, or even one meter. If you want to make an arthropod, that’s your affair; but if it’s going to be bigger than a stag beetle, I won’t have anything to do with it, and the budget will be your problem.
ARIMANE: Colleague Anatomist, the Economist’s opinion (besides being in my view more than justified) is, unfortunately, final and without appeal. Furthermore, it seems to me that, aside from the mammals to which you referred a moment ago, the vertebrate series presents even more interesting possibilities among the reptiles, the birds, the fish . . .
MINISTER OF THE WATERS (a lively old man with a blue beard and holding a small trident): Hear, hear, listen up. It is inconceivable, in my opinion, that so far no one in this room has mentioned the aquatic solution. Even the room itself is desperately dry: stone, concrete, wood, not a puddle—what am I talking about? There’s not even a faucet. It’s enough to make the blood curdle!
And yet everyone knows that water covers three-quarters of the Earth’s surface; and furthermore the land above sea level is a surface that has only two dimensions, two coordinates, four cardinal points; while the ocean, gentlemen, the ocean . . .
ARIMANE: I wouldn’t have any objection in principle to a Man either wholly or partially aquatic; but subsection (a) of the Man motion speaks of tools, and I wonder what materials a floating or subaquatic Man would use to make them?
MINISTER OF THE WATERS: I don’t see any difficulty. An aquatic Man, especially with coastal habits, would have at his disposition mollusk shells, the bones and teeth of all species, various minerals, many of which are easy to manipulate, algae made of tough fibers—in fact, in this regard, all it would take is one little word from me to my friend in charge of vegetation, and in several thousand generations we could have available in abundance any material similar to, for example, wood, or hemp, or cork, given our specific requirements, remaining, naturally, within the limits of good sense and technical capability.
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR (dressed as a Martian with a helmet, enormous spectacles, antennae, tubes, etc.): Gentlemen, we are—rather, you are—off track. I have heard just now talk of a coastal Man as if such a thing were utterly normal, without anyone standing up to point out the extreme precariousness of life the creatures living between land and sea are subjected to, exposed as they are to all the hazards of both environments. Just think of all the troubles the seals have had! But there’s another thing: it seems clear to me, from at least three of the four subsections of the directorial motion, that Man is tacitly intended to be rational.
MINISTER OF THE WATERS: And what is that supposed to mean! Are you by chance insinuating that one cannot reason underwater? And if so what would I be doing there, I who spend almost all my working hours in the water?
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR: I beg you, distinguished colleague, calm down and let me speak. There is nothing easier than to unfurl a large roll of drawings, in plain view and cross section, with all the construction details, for the design of a great beast or a small one, male or female, winged or not, with fingernails or horned, with two eyes or eight eyes or a hundred and eighty eyes, or perhaps with a thousand feet, like the time you made me sweat blood in order to tidy up the nervous system of the millipede.
Then a small empty circle is drawn inside the head and next to it is stenciled: “Cranial cavity for encephalon placement,” and the chief psychologist has to make do. And up until now I have made do, no one can deny it, but, I ask you, don’t you realize that, if someone is going to have a say on the subject of aquatic Man or Earth Man or flying Man, it should be me? Tools, articulated language, community life, all in one blow, and immediately (I would bet) someone will probably still find something to criticize because his sense of direction is weak, or someone else (he purposefully looks at the ECONOMIST) will protest because by the kilo he will cost more than a mole or a caiman! (Murmuring, approbation, some dissent. The PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR takes off his Martian helmet in order to scratch his head and dry the sweat, then puts it back on and continues) So, listen to me, and if someone wants to carry the message to those upstairs, so much the better. One of three things: either you take me seriously from now on, and stop presenting me with projects that are already signed, sealed, and delivered; or you give me a reasonable amount of time to figure out this mess; or I will resign, and then, in place of the small empty circle, our Anatomist colleague can put into the heads of his most ingenious creations a packet of connective tissue, or a reserve stomach, or, best of all, a big lump of extra fat. I’ve said what I have to say.
A contrite and guilty silence from which ARIMANE’s
persuasive voice finally emerges.
ARIMANE: Distinguished Psychologist colleague, I can give you formal assurances that no one in this meeting has ever undervalued even for an instant the difficulties and responsibilities of your work. Furthermore, you are teaching us that solutions involving compromise are more of a rule than an exception, and it is our communal duty to seek to resolve individual problems in the spirit of the greatest possible collaboration. In the case under discussion, then, the preeminent importance of your opinions is clear to everyone, and your specific competence has been well noted. I therefore give the floor back to you.
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR (instantaneously appeased, takes a deep breath): Gentlemen, it is my opinion, which, by the way, can be amply documented, that in order to put together a Man who corresponds to the prescribed requirements, and is altogether viable, economical, and reasonably long-lasting, it would be necessary for us to start over from the beginning, and to construct this animal from definitively new building blocks . . .
ARIMANE (interrupts): No, no, don’t . . .
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR: All right, distinguished colleague, the objection of urgency was foreseen and taken for granted. I will, in any case, permit myself to denounce the ulterior motives that yet again disrupt what could have been (and it happens so rarely!) an interesting little task; besides, this seems to be the fate of us technicians.
To return then to the basic question, I have no doubt that Man is a terrestrial being and not an aquatic one. I will briefly show you the reasons. It seems clear to me that this Man must possess mental faculties that are rather well developed, and that this, in the present state of our knowledge, cannot be realized without a corresponding development of the sense organs. Now, for an animal who is submerged or floating, the development of the senses meets with grave difficulties. In the first place, taste and sense of smell would obviously become merged into only one sense, which would still be the lesser problem. But consider the homogeneous, even monotonous conditions of the aquatic environment; I don’t want to speak for the future, but the best eyes so far constructed cannot explore more than around ten meters of clear water, and a few centimeters of turbid water. So either we’ll provide Man with rudimentary eyes or they will become such from non-use in a few thousand centuries. The same, or almost, can be said about the ears—
MINISTER OF THE WATERS (interrupts): Water is a superb conductor of sound, gentlemen! It is twenty-seven times as fast as air!
MANY VOICES: Slow down! Slow down!
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR (continuing): . . . can be said about the ears. It is indeed very easy to construct a subaquatic ear, but equally difficult to generate sound in water. I confess that I wouldn’t know how to clarify for you the physical explanation for this, which is not, by the way, my business; rather, the Minister of the Waters and our distinguished colleague the Anatomist will have to explain the singular circumstance of the proverbial muteness of fish. Perhaps it’s a sign of wisdom, but it seems to me that during my inspection visits I had to travel to a remote corner of the sea surrounding the Antilles to find a fish that emitted sounds; and these were barely articulated and even less pleasant, and, so far as I could determine, the above-mentioned fish, whose name escapes me . . .
VOICES: The cow fish! The cow fish!
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR: . . . emits these sounds in an entirely blasé way at the moment in which the swim bladder is emptied. And, of particular interest, the fish surfaces before emitting the sound. In conclusion, I ask myself, and I ask you, what would the perfected ear of the Man-fish hear, if not the thunder when he gets near the surface, the rumble of the surf when he nears the coast, and the occasional lowing of his Antillean colleague? The decision is yours: but remember that, given the technology actually in hand, this creature would be half blind and, if not deaf, mute; therefore, what advantage would this provide in terms of (he grabs the Man motion from the table and reads out loud ) “the capability of expressing himself articulately etc. etc.” and then, further on, “proclivity for community life . . .”? I leave it to each of you to judge.
ARIMANE: I will take the liberty of proposing an end to this first fruitful exchange of viewpoints, assuming responsibility for the consequences. The Man then will be neither an arthropod nor a fish; it remains for us to decide whether he will be a mammal, a reptile, or a bird. If it is appropriate for me to express my bias, dictated less by reason than by sentiment and sympathy, allow me to urge the reptiles on your attention.
I will not hide from you that, of the multiple forms and figures created by your art and ingenuity, my admiration has been sparked by none more than the serpent. It is strong and cunning: “The most cunning of Earth’s creatures,” it has been called by the highest Judge. (All rise and bow) Its structure is of an exceptional simplicity and elegance, and it would be a shame not to perfect it further. He is a skillful and reliable poisoner: it shouldn’t be difficult for him to become, according to his merits, the master of the Earth, perhaps by creating a void in his immediate vicinity.
ANATOMY ADVISOR: All true; and I might add that serpents are extraordinarily economical, and lend themselves to numerous and interesting modifications, so that it wouldn’t be difficult, for example, to enlarge his brainpan by 40 percent, and so on. But I must remind you that so far no reptile among those which have been constructed has been able to survive in cold climates: subsection (c) of the motion would be in violation. I would be grateful to our thermodynamic colleague if he would confirm my statement with some numerical data.
THERMODYNAMIC ADVISOR (very curt): Median annual temperature above 10ºC; never temperatures less than 15ºC below zero. That says it all.
ARIMANE (embarrassed laugh): I must confess to you that these circumstances, though obvious, escaped me; nor will I hide from you my disappointment, since I have often thought recently about the striking appearance Earth’s surface would have, furrowed in every sense by powerful multicolored pythons, and how their cities, which I liked to imagine dug out among the roots of giant trees, would provide many spaces where individuals who had consumed a large meal could collectively rest and meditate. But, since I have been assured that all this is not possible, let’s abandon the thought and, since the choice is now restricted to mammals and birds, let’s dedicate all of our energy to a speedy decision. I see that our distinguished colleague the Psychologist requests leave to speak: and, since none can deny that he is responsible for a large part of the project, I beg all of you to give him your full attention.
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR (precipitously begins to speak before the other has finished): In my opinion, as I have already indicated, the solution should be looked for elsewhere. Ever since I published my celebrated study on termites and ants (interruptions from various parts of the audience), I’ve had in my drawer a little project (the interruptions become increasingly violent) regarding some unique automatons that would ensure an incredible savings on nerve tissue.
All hell breaks loose, and, with great difficulty,
ARIMANE, gesticulating, calms things down.
ARIMANE: I have told you once already that these inventions of yours are of no interest to us. We absolutely do not have the time to study, launch, develop, and test a new model of animal, and you should be the first to advise us of this: now, tell me, regarding your precious hymenoptera, from prototype to their present stabilized morphology, didn’t a number—somewhere in the eight to nine figures—of years pass? We therefore call you to order, and this will be the last time; otherwise we will find ourselves forced to give up your precious assistance, since before you were hired your colleagues perfected, without making any great claims, for example, some splendid coelenterates, which still function very well today, never break down, reproduce themselves galore without complaint, and cost next to nothing.
Yes, those were the days, and I say it with no offense to anyone. Many working and few criticizing, much done and little said, and everything that came out of the factory was good enough and without any complications from you modernists. Nowadays, before we can move from design to manufacturing, we need the psychologist, the neurologist, and the histologist to sign off, as well as the certificate of inspection and the approval of the Aesthetic Committee in triplicate, and other such hullabaloo. And I’m told it’s still not enough, and that soon none other than a supervisor for Spiritual Things will be hired, which will make us all stand at attention . . . (Realizing that he has let himself go on, he is suddenly quiet and looks around with a certain embarrassment. He then turns again to the PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR) In conclusion, reflect upon it and then clearly explain to us if in your opinion we should research a Man-bird or a Man-mammal, and the reasons on which you base your decision.
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR (swallows repeatedly, sucks on his pencil, etc.; then): If the choice comes down to those two possibilities, it is my opinion that the Man should be a bird. (Uproar, comments. Everyone exchanges nods of satisfaction and approval; two or three start to get up as if everything had been concluded) One moment, goodness me! I didn’t mean by this that all we needed to do was dig out of the archives Project Sparrow or Project Barn Owl, change the register number and three or four opening paragraphs, and submit it to Central Development for them to build the prototype!
Please pay attention; I will try to briefly present to you (since I see that you are in a hurry) the idea’s main considerations. Everything is fine with regard to the motion’s subsections (b) and (d). Already today a large assortment of melodious birds exists and so the problem of an articulated language, at least as far as the anatomical aspect is concerned, can be considered resolved; while nothing of the sort has been done so far among the mammals. Am I right, Colleague Anatomist?
ANATOMY ADVISOR: Quite right, quite right.
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR: Naturally, still to be accomplished is the study of a brain adapted to create and use language, but this problem, in my limited competence, would remain nearly the same whatever form we decide to give Man. As for subsection (c), “suitability to life under extreme working conditions,” I can’t recall or come up with a criterion for choosing between mammals and birds; in both classes, species exist that easily adapt to the most disparate of climates and environments. It is, on the other hand, obvious that the ability to move quickly in flight constitutes an important prejudice in favor of the Man-bird, insofar as it would permit an exchange of information and foodstuffs over distances that span continents, which would facilitate the immediate installation of a single language and of a single civilization for the entire human race. It would eliminate the existing geographical obstacles and render futile the creation of artificial territorial boundaries from tribe to tribe. And I hardly need emphasize the other, more immediate advantages that rapid flight brings for both defense and offense against all land and sea species, as well as the expeditious discovery of ever new territories for hunting, farming, and development, for which it seems fair to formulate the axiom “The animal that flies never goes hungry.”
ORMUZ: Excuse the interruption, distinguished colleague: how does your Man-bird reproduce?
PSYCHOLOGY ADVISOR (surprised and irritated): What a strange question! It would reproduce like other birds, the male attracts the female or vice versa; the female is fertilized, a nest is built, the eggs are laid and incubated, the chicks are raised and educated by both parents until they achieve a minimum of independence. The fittest of them will survive. I don’t see any reason to change.
ORMUZ (at first uncertain, then a little more animated and passionate): No, gentlemen, it doesn’t seem so simple to me. Many of you know . . . and as for the rest of you, I have never made it a mystery . . . in short, to me, sexual differentiation has never seemed a great idea. It certainly has its advantages for the species; it also has advantages for the individual (even if it is my understanding that these advantages are of a rather short duration); but every objective observer must admit that sex is initially a terrifying complication and subsequently a permanent source of dangers and problems.
Nothing counts more than experience: since we are dealing with social life, please remember that the only example of a successfully realized social life, lasting from the Tertiary period to today without the least inconvenience, is that of the hymenoptera; in which, due in large part to my intercession, the sexual drama was evaded and relegated to the extreme margins of productive society.
Gentlemen, my prayer to you is the following: weigh your words before you pronounce them. Whichever Man will be, bird or mammal, it is our duty to make every effort to smooth his path, since the burden he must carry is very heavy. Having created him, we understand his brain, and we know what miraculous feats he is, at least potentially, capable of, but we likewise know his measure and his limits; we also know, since we had a hand in it, both the subliminal and aroused energies played out between the sexes. I don’t deny that the experience of combining the two mechanisms is intriguing; but I confess to my hesitation, I confess to my fear.
What will this creature be? Will he be dual, a centaur, a man as far as the precordium and from there on a beast; or will he be tied to an estrous cycle, and, if so, then how will he maintain a sufficient behavioral consistency? He will adhere not to (don’t laugh!) Good and Truth but to two goods and two truths. And when two men desire the same woman, or two women the same man, what will become of their social institutions, and of the laws that should protect them?
And what is to be said with regard to Man of those famous “elegant and economical solutions” boasted of by the Anatomy Advisor present here today, and enthusiastically backed by the Economist, also present, as a result of which the orifices and canals originally destined for excretion are shamelessly used for sexual purposes? This situation, which we know is due purely to a calculation to reduce encumbrances and costs, could be construed by our thinking animal as nothing other than a symbol of mockery, a despicable and disturbing mess, a sign of holy filth, of two-headed insanity, of chaos, inserted into his body, inalienable, eternal.
And here I come to my conclusion, gentlemen. Let there be Man, Man should be made, even if he is a bird, if that is what you want. But grant me the possibility of dealing with the problem immediately, of extinguishing today the seeds of conflict that will fatally explode tomorrow, so that we will not have to watch in the foreseeable future the unlucky spectacle of a male Man who forces his people into a war in order to win a woman, or of a female Man who distracts the mind of a male from noble causes and intentions in order to reduce him to subjugation. Remember: he who is about to be born will be our judge. Not only our errors but all of his, for all the centuries to come, will be upon our heads.
ARIMANE: You might even be right, but I don’t see the urgent need to bandage our heads when they’re not yet injured. That is, I don’t see either the possibility or the expedience of freezing Man in the planning stage, and that is for obvious reasons of expediting the work of production. If your disturbing predictions should then come to pass, well, we’ll see; there will be plenty of time and opportunity to make more suitable corrections to the model. On the other hand, since it appears that Man will be a bird, it seems to me that it’s not necessary to dramatize. The difficulties and risks that worry you can be easily limited. Sexual interest can be reduced to extremely brief periods, perhaps no more than a few minutes a year; there would be no pregnancy, no breast-feeding, a precise and powerful trend toward monogamy, a brief brooding time, babies that come out of the egg ready or almost ready for autonomous life. This can be attained without reconfiguring the anatomical plans that are now in force, which, besides everything else, would involve formidable impediments of both a bureaucratic and an administrative nature.
No, gentlemen, the decision has by now been made, and Man will be bird: bird in the true sense, not a penguin, not an ostrich, a flying bird with a beak, feathers, claws, eggs, and nest. All that remains is to define some important constructive details, which are:
(1) what the optimum dimensions will be;
(2) whether to predetermine if he is sedentary or migratory . . .
(At ARIMANE’s last words, the door at the back is cautiously opened. The head and shoulders of the MESSENGER appear; he, without daring to interrupt, glances around and vigorously gesticulates in order to attract the attention of those in the room. A murmur begins and then confusion, which ARIMANE finally becomes aware of) What is it? What’s happening?
MESSENGER (he winks at ARIMANE with the informal and confidential attitude of porters and sextons): Come outside a moment, your eminence. There is important news from . . . (with his head he motions behind and upward).
ARIMANE (follows him out the door; an agitated conversation is audible over the buzzing and remarks of the others. Suddenly, the half-open door is closed violently from the outside, and a little later opened again. ARIMANE comes back in, his pace slow and his head lowered. He is silent for a long time, then) . . . Let’s go home, gentlemen. It’s all over, all resolved. Home, home. What are we staying here for?
They didn’t wait for us: wasn’t I right to be in a hurry? Yet again, they wanted to show us that we aren’t necessary, that they know how to do it alone, that they don’t need anatomists, psychologists, or economists. They can do what they want.
. . . No, gentlemen, I don’t know many details. I don’t know if they consulted with anyone, or if they followed any logic, a long considered plan or a moment’s intuition. I know that they used seven measures of clay, and that they mixed it with river water and sea water; I know that they molded the mud into a form that they considered best. It appears to be an upright animal, with almost no fur, defenseless, and to the messenger here present it seemed akin to a monkey and a bear: an animal without wings or feathers, and therefore to be considered substantially mammal. It further seems that the female Man was created from one of his ribs . . . (voices, questions) . . . from one of his ribs, yes, by a procedure that was not clear to me, and which I would not hesitate to define as unorthodox, and I have no idea whether it is intended to be maintained for future generations. Into this creature was infused I do not know what breath, and he moved. Thus Man was born, oh, gentlemen, a long way from our consensus: simple, isn’t it? If and how much he conforms to the requirements proposed to us, or if instead we are dealing with a Man by mere definition and convention, I do not have the necessary information to determine.
There is nothing else to do, then, but wish this anomalous creature a long and prosperous career. Our colleague Secretary will take charge of the message of good wishes, the validation form, registration in the roster, the calculation of costs, et cetera; the rest of you are free of all duties. Be of good cheer, gentlemen; the meeting is adjourned.