MY TUMMY HURTS. MY EYEBALLS ache. My hands sweat.
I wait in the office with Mrs. Crowley, the secretary. Kids call her Mrs. Growly because she never smiles. Sure enough, she’s never smiling now. I’m also not smiling. I’m staring at an inkblot on the carpet. Who spilled the ink? Now THAT’S a bad kid.
Finally, Principal McCoy comes out of his office. His arm is STILL in a sling from when he wiped out in the cafeteria a couple of weeks ago.
“Hello, Lola.”
I open my mouth to say something. But it feels like peanut butter in there. We shake hands and it’s a good thing his left hand is the one in the sling.
He points to his office. It says Princi-PAL on the door.
“Come with me, Lola.”
I follow him. He points to a fluffy orange chair. I sit on it. It feels like resting on the tummy of a fat orange cat. Maybe the chair has secret claws.
Principal McCoy gets behind his desk. “So, Lola, what seems to be the problem?”
“You are getting sleepy. SLEEPY. SLEEPY,” I say.
But Principal McCoy looks wide awake. “Lola?” he asks. “What’s going on?”
Now I feel like a basketball is stuck in my throat. “Are you going to scream at me?”
“Lola! Whatever gave you that idea? Of course not.”
I take a deep breath. I sink down in the fluffy orange chair.
“Tell me what happened in class.”
“I read that snakes taste the air by sticking out their tongues. Like thith.” I show him.
Principal McCoy sticks his tongue out at me. “Like that?”
“Yeah.”
“So you wanted to try that?”
My tongue droops. “Yeth.”
“You weren’t sticking your tongue out at Savannah Travers?”
I can see what he means. “Sort of.”
“Oh. And how do you think that made her feel?”
“Bad.”
“How do you think you can solve the problem?” Principal McCoy sounds like Mrs. D. Maybe they went to Problem Solvers School together.
“I could tell her I’m sorry I tasted the air in her direction. I mean … stuck my tongue out.”
Principal McCoy stands up. “That sounds like a plan! All right, Lola!” He looks at his watch. “Your class is now at recess.”
Principal McCoy and I shake hands again.
“By the way, guess what? This isn’t the only bad thing that happened to me,” I tell him.
“Oh, really?”
“Yep. My mom and dad left.”
“Oh, gee.” Principal McCoy says “oh gee” a few more times.