Ten minutes before five p.m. on Monday, Dave stepped out of his office. Elizabeth’s stomach dropped when he motioned to her. “Can you come in my office?”
“Sure.” She felt everyone in the room watching her walk in.
She closed the door and was grateful there was a chair for her to collapse in. From the look on his face, she knew this wasn’t going to be good. He hadn’t talked to her all day. Probably still mad about their interrupted dance. “What’s going on, Dave?”
He steepled his fingers. “I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about the budget cuts. Unfortunately, they’re true.”
She held her breath. She’d dug her own grave and made it easy for him to toss her in it.
“But fortunately, we only have to let one person go.”
She nodded, hoping she could staunch the tears that were sure to follow. She hadn’t worn waterproof mascara in years. She always made sure never to give herself reason to cry.
“And I’m hoping I can count on you to take on some of Debbie’s duties when I let her go.”
“Debbie?”
He nodded.
She gripped the chair and shook her head. “You can’t. It would just kill her. She’s been here so long.”
He stood up and started pacing the office. “That’s right. And how much longer will she be here? Someone like you has what, a few more decades with us? We need to keep you on board.” He sat on the desk in front of her and leaned toward her. “I need you here. I want you here. But I need to be sure you can handle some of her workload. I’m planning to divvy it up, but I’m thinking you’re going to be taking on the bulk of it. I can’t lose you, Elizabeth.” His voice softened.
She nodded, absentmindedly. Oh, Debbie.
“Good,” he said. “And keep this confidential. I’m not making the official announcement until this Friday.”
“Of course,” she whispered. “If it’s alright with you, I’m leaving now. I don’t want to answer anyone’s questions.”
“Right. Good idea. See you tomorrow, Elizabeth. Maybe for lunch?”
She left without answering.
She drove home in a daze. She should have been grateful her job had been spared; even if it would mean loads more work on top of an already towering workload. A month ago she would have been grateful. Maybe it was Dave mentioning she had a few more decades there. It was like she could see her entire life unfolding in front of her. And she didn’t like what she saw—and not just the fifteen cats for company, either.
The emotions inside of her swirled, making her feel woozy. But then everything was perfectly clear. For the first time, she had no trouble knowing what she wanted—and what she didn’t want.
She pulled the car over on the side of the road, smacked her steering wheel and cried, “Yes!” Without thinking, she turned her car around and drove to the shopping plaza. She grabbed a basket in the art store and filled it with brushes and paints, a palette and canvasses. When she filled that basket, she filled two more.
She drove home and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. Set up her new easel and squeezed dollops of paint on her palette. And she started painting. Didn’t even sketch out her drawings first. Just painted and let her fingers and the brush take over. Painted without thinking. Painted with her eyes closed. Painted until she ran out of canvasses and had to go back to the store for more, right before it closed.
Some of the paintings were detailed memories of happy times. At the beach as a child with her mother. Others were a dark mish-mash or abstract flourishes of pain. When she had painted out all of her emotions, she found herself carefully working on a picture of a rowboat on a little lake in front of a lovely house. This one she wanted to get right. She sat down on the couch to really take a look at it. And she fell asleep.
She woke with a start to the phone ringing. “Hello?” she mumbled, running her hand through her hair.
“Elizabeth? It’s ten a.m. Where are you? What happened? Did you get fired yesterday?” Debbie sounded panicked on the phone.
Elizabeth felt her own surge of panic. But then she was hit with a wall of resignation. She should be thrilled she still had a job. But sitting on the couch, staring at her paintings scattered about the room, the last place she wanted to be was work.
“No, I didn’t get fired.”
“Then what did Dave say? Why aren’t you at work?”
She couldn’t break the news to Debbie. “I’ll be there in a little while.”
She jumped in the shower. A few more decades of this, she thought to herself. She actually shuddered, standing there under the warm spray of water. She didn’t think she could tolerate a few more days at work never mind a few decades now that she’d reopened her true desires.
She dried off and stood in front of her closet, surveying her suits. “No,” she said aloud. “I’m done.” She closed the closet door, changed into jeans and a sweater and knew exactly what she was going to tell Debbie.
Everyone in the office stopped what they were doing when Elizabeth walked in. Dave walked out of his office and turned up his hands as if to say, what the heck?
She leaned up against the conference table in the center of the room. “I’m sorry I’m late. I overslept.” She squeezed the bridge of her nose. “This is hard to say. It’s unexpected and totally irrational, but I’m resigning from the university.”
A couple people gasped.
“Elizabeth, could you come in my office please?” Dave said, crossing his arms.
Up went her hand. “No, Dave. I can’t be here one more day, never mind a few more decades. This really isn’t what I want. Not anymore.” She shrugged. “I don’t think it ever was. But I’m going to find out what is.”
She went to her desk to gather the few things she might want to keep, and Dave followed her over. She turned to him. “I hope this stops any talk of layoffs. I’ve made your decision for you.”
Dave looked at her and shrugged. “I guess you have. I’m going to miss you. Good luck, Elizabeth. I hope you won’t regret this.”
She smiled. “I won’t.”
When Dave went back in his office, Debbie and Theresa rushed over.
Debbie wiped away a tear and hugged her. “What am I going to do without you?”
Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Debbie.
“Wow. I’m impressed. Where did that come from?” Theresa asked.
“I don’t know.”
Theresa quirked an eyebrow. “Couldn’t have anything to do with your spouse hunting.”
Elizabeth playfully whacked her arm. “House hunting.”
“If you say so.”
She gathered up a small box of things and walked down to the registrar’s office.
“Can I help you, dear?” asked the woman behind the desk.
Elizabeth set down the box, took a deep breath and smiled. “Can you tell me which art classes are available for the summer session?”
***
Henry did the mental math again, but he already knew he was short. With just five days left in the month, he was still one-hundred fifty thousand dollars short of the sales goal. That was just one sale. That’s all he needed. But none of his clients was even close to deciding on a house. Sure, there was some interest here and there, but the Millers wanted to see at least five more houses before deciding, so they were out. The Jacobs were on vacation. And what about Liz? He sighed, just thinking of her.
He knew she loved that log cabin. Knew in his bones it was the right place for her. So why wasn’t she interested in it?
And why wasn’t she interested in him?
He called her on his cell and left a message. “Liz, it’s Henry. Have you made a decision on that log cabin? I think our second showing…went really well. If you want to make an offer you better do it soon, or you’re going to lose it.”
But then again, if she put an offer on the house, he wouldn’t see her anymore.
He shook off the bad feeling, busied himself the rest of the day with calls and set up a few showings. And when the receptionist told him he had a visitor at quarter to five, the last person he expected was the one he was most desperate to see.
“Liz? Come on back to my office.” She was here during business hours. Had she ducked out of work early to come in with an offer? Then he smiled to himself as he led her down the hall. Maybe she’s here to see me.
He knew what kind of offer he’d really like, and it didn’t involve the house. Then he noticed what she was wearing. A pair of jeans and tight sweater that showed off her assets nicely. He doubted she’d worn that to work. “What’s going on?” He closed the office door.
She sank into one of his chairs. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few days, Henry. Ever since this weekend.”
He nodded and smiled. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot, too.”
“I’ve also been thinking about a lot of other things. And you were right. You found me the house of me dreams. The house I never knew I wanted.”
Henry smiled. “You’re going to be the sale that puts me over the top this month. I was waiting on one special sale, and it’s you, Elizabeth.” He stood up from his desk and walked over to her. He was pleased with the sale, but didn’t want this thing with her to end.
She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I’m not buying the house.”
He sat down. “Why not? You said it was perfect for you. Hell, I love that house.”
“Henry, you helped me realize a lot of things. The type of house I want, and some things I definitely don’t want. Like buying a house alone. That’s what was missing from all those other perfect houses. I was telling myself I should buy a house for all the logical reasons. But my heart wants to wait until I have someone special to find a home with.” She pressed her hand against her chest. “You told me to listen to my heart, and when I finally did, that’s what it was telling me. A house won’t be a home if I’m there alone.”
He shook his head and was quiet for a moment. “So, you’re going to start riding horses again.”
She shrugged. “I’m going to give it another chance.”
He looked at her and nodded. He hoped she would follow that up by saying she wanted to give him a chance.
But she didn’t.
She reached for his hand. “I’m so sorry I can’t help you break that record.”
He shook his head and forced a smile that usually worked on most folks. “Don’t worry about it. If you’re ever back in the market, I hope you’ll think of me.”
Elizabeth didn’t smile back. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Of course I will.”
***
Elizabeth went out to her car, closed her eyes and cried. She should have just told him how she felt about him. Even though it would have hurt to hear him say that he didn’t feel the same way, and that he thought she knew he was just pulling out all the stops for the sale. She’d been honest about everything else today, why not that?
Maybe because her heart could only take so much in one day. She’d been honest enough to return to her true love—art. She’d been honest enough to admit she wanted real love back in her life. But she just wasn’t ready yet to let it back in. Because another heartbreak this early in the game could spook her off for good this time. God, she needed a drink.
She drove out to the log cabin and parked at the end of the driveway, gazing at the house she’d love to have. But it wouldn’t be the same living there alone, especially after the time she’d spent there with Henry. And without a job, the money she’d saved for a house would go a long way supporting her through school. She couldn’t totally do away with logic. In fact, she might need to downsize her current apartment.
Driving away, she wondered if she could erase the memories of that house and Henry and everything that happened there. Then, feeling like she wanted to start with a clean slate on all accounts, she called her sister when she got home.
“Hello?” Julie said.
Elizabeth heard music in the background. Steel drums? She shook her head. Whatever she had cooked up for the wedding, she had to support her. “Hi, Jules.”
“Elizabeth!”
Relief rushed through her at the sound of her sister’s happy voice. “I’m so sorry for the things I said. It was mean. I know you’re excited about marrying Jim. And I really want to be your maid of honor again.”
“Oh, Elizabeth. About that…you can’t.”
She nodded to herself. “I understand.”
“No, you don’t. You can’t be my maid of honor…because I’m already married. Jim and I eloped! We’re in the Bahamas! We got married on the beach this morning.”
Elizabeth’s mouth opened and closed. “But all your plans?”
“Stupid, overboard and expensive. You were absolutely right. And when you mentioned us being able to buy a house with all that money, it got me thinking that I’ve got to be more practical like you, now that I’m getting married. Time to be a bit more responsible. So we’re going to be house hunting when we get home.” She squealed and Elizabeth could imagine her jumping up and down.
“No. You don’t want to be practical like me. You were right. My life is a sorry mess, which is why I quit my job and signed up for art school.”
“Shut up!”
Elizabeth grinned. “I did. And I’m happier than ever.” But not entirely happy. Not yet. Baby steps…
“If only we could find you a guy.”
“Yeah.” Oh, she’d found the guy. She just had to find the guts and the faith to tell him. And she still wasn’t sure that was going to happen.
“Gotta go, Elizabeth. We’re swimming with dolphins in a little while and then…who knows? Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Too bad she wasn’t brave enough to tell Henry the same thing. Because it was true.