It felt something close to an abomination to permit Emma Fairfax to be released. It happened, though, five months later. The term mandated by her sentence. Even with what she’d admitted in Dr Marcello’s presence, the administration didn’t feel there was enough evidence-based grounds to appeal for re-sentencing. She was troubled, and probably always would be; they’d done the bit that the courts had required of them.
Of course, she’d admitted far more to me. And while there was no conceivable defence for this creature ever to be unleashed back into society, I, like every other member of the group-care team, signed the release paperwork when it came. Not every choice made in life is made in terms of a legal framework. I had my own reasons for determining that Emma’s release was a necessary evil, and those reasons outweighed everything else.
She appeared as surprised as anyone when I saw her at medical distribution after she’d been told the news.
‘What the hell do they mean, they’re letting me go?’ Even her practised self-assurance couldn’t mask her genuine confusion.
‘Just what I said, Miss Fairfax,’ I answered, drawing her into the pharmacy’s consultation room. I kept my voice low. ‘The paperwork’s gone through today. Your court-mandated term is over. Barring any unforeseen complications, you’ll be released tomorrow afternoon.’
‘But … but the things I told you. I didn’t think I was ever getting out of here.’
I didn’t break eye contact with her. She was right. That’s how it ought to work.
‘The things you told me,’ I drew out my words. It was important that she understood what I was about to say and what I meant by saying it. ‘They didn’t make it into any reports.’
Emma’s breath was as slow as mine, but her stare was blank.
‘I don’t believe you. I confessed to—’
I didn’t permit her to complete the sentence. What she’d admitted to was not to be uttered again. Not here. ‘You’re clearly a disturbed woman, Miss Fairfax. Depressed. Addicted to booze. You misuse the drugs you’ve been prescribed, and I’ve made a strong recommendation that you no longer have them made available to you without strict controls. But it will be the doctors, and the courts, who ultimately decide those things.’
‘That’s what concerns you?! That I misuse my prescriptions? Christ sakes, that should be the least of your interests. I told you I—’
‘Emma,’ I cut her off. My eyes were fire. ‘Our time together is finished. You need to accept that.’
She looked like she was about to react, but no words emerged from her open mouth. She leaned back into her chair, her expression lingering on mine.
‘I … I don’t get it,’ she finally said. ‘Why are you doing this for me? Why aren’t you out for blood?’ There was a momentary appearance of genuine agony, something I’d seen on her features before. ‘You should be out for blood! I mean, you told me things, too.’
I tapped my fingers across my lap.
‘What you told me,’ I said, my words conspiratorially quiet, ‘is beyond my power to comprehend.’ I paused, and felt bile on my tongue. I did comprehend it. That was the fucking nightmare of it all.
‘How can you not care?’
‘It’s not that I’m not appalled by what you’ve done. Be clear about that, Emma. Your life, your choices, they’re … beyond words.’
‘Then why don’t you report all this?’ Her voice was barely above a whisper. ‘You know as well as me they’d throw away the key. Whether I was a “victim” or a “vulnerable personality,” or any of that crap, I’d still end up one of them bitch demon women you see on the news. Who threw away others for her own ends.’
‘Because, Miss Fairfax, you’re not that important to me.’ I opted for honesty. She was hardly going to report the affront to polite propriety. ‘Someone else is.’ Someone else’s redemption matters more to me than yours.
I caught myself, just then. I didn’t need to tell her any more. She didn’t need to know the details.
There was nothing left to say. Emma stared at me, and I couldn’t tell if she was grateful or upset. Part of her must have been relieved she’d walk out of here; but part of her had wanted, I think, to face justice for all she’d been a part of.
I leaned forward. ‘Just don’t think, even for a single second, that this amounts to forgiveness for what you’ve done.’
You’ll end up in hell soon enough, my inner voice wanted to cry out. And it will be my prayer, every day between now and then, that you suffer until you do.
I got up and turned my back on Emma. Whether or not I’d ever encounter her again, and what I might do if that occasion arose, was something that had to be left to fate. I was done with her, and good riddance.
Now, the path before me felt both secure and unknown. An odd mix. I was a man with more questions in his head than answers, and I sensed that feeling was going to be with me for a while.
But I was certain about one thing. I hadn’t been able to bring justice to my sister before she’d ended her life. I hadn’t been of any help to her at all. But I’d now met Amber Jackson, and Emma Fairfax, and I knew the story of the men who tortured them.
Revenge wouldn’t do much for Evelyn now, but it’d sure as daylight feel good to get it done for Amber.