The muscles in Chase’s cheeks were starting to ache from hiding his smile as he read through the rest of the scene, excitement ripping through him. This was a huge opportunity for him. He was pumped about being able to act out such an important, intense scene in such a big movie, but getting to do it with Becca? It was a dream come true.
Never in a million years would he have guessed he would ever get a chance like this, let alone so early on in his career. Having this in his portfolio would open up all kinds of doors for him from here on out, maybe even give him a shot at being cast as an actor for a role, rather than just for doubling or stunt work.
He couldn’t wait to tell Ryder. His buddy wouldn’t believe it.
“Any questions so far?” Ian asked from across the table.
Chase glanced up at him and shook his head, already mentally choreographing the fight scene. He was looking forward to working it all out with Becca later.
“Becca?”
“No.” Her voice was quiet. So quiet, Chase looked over at her and immediately stilled.
Something was wrong. She was pale. Withdrawn. Wouldn’t look at any of them.
He didn’t say anything, not wanting to bring attention to it if Ian and Alice hadn’t already noticed. He’d talk to her later when he could pull her aside and talk alone. Make sure she was okay.
“All right, let’s go over the sequencing again,” Ian said, and kept going.
Chase darted glances at Becca out of the corner of his eye for the rest of the meeting. She answered when spoken to or asked a direct question, but otherwise she didn’t say anything. He knew she was serious when working, but he’d never seen her this subdued before. It was almost as though she was pulling inward, withdrawing from the rest of them.
Ian glanced at his watch and closed the script, flipping it over so the title page was face up in front of him. “All right, let’s take thirty and get something to eat before you guys get ready for the next scene.” He pushed back from the table and stood with Alice. “Any questions come up, let me or Alice know tonight after the shooting’s over.”
Becca stood as they left. Chase got up. “Wait,” he said, grasping her arm gently.
She stopped and turned those gorgeous caramel eyes on him. Her expression was unreadable. Guarded. As if she was hiding something.
Protectiveness flooded him. “What’s wrong?”
She blinked at him. “Nothing, why?”
Nuh-uh. Something was off. “You okay with the changes?” Or maybe it was that she didn’t like having to act them out with him instead of Patrick?
“Yeah, of course.” She edged past him and headed for the door.
He trailed after her, certain she was trying to hide that something was bothering her. “Want to grab a bite to eat before we go to makeup?”
“No, not really hungry.” She reached for the door handle, her back to him.
He grabbed her shoulder. “Becca.”
She turned toward him, impatience snapping in her eyes. It was a whole lot better than the bleakness that had been there a second ago. “What?”
He studied her for a moment. He curbed the urge to push, not wanting her to pull away more. “Just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“Do you want to go over everything together later, just the two of us? Maybe block in the fight scene a bit?”
She looked away. “No. I’d rather just do it live when we film together.”
He frowned, his concern increasing. “Are you…sure?” That wasn’t the least bit normal for this kind of scene.
There were so many things he wanted to talk through. Fight scenes were complicated. With his training he could handle himself in a fight and protect himself from whatever she dished out in return, but they should at least plan the basics out first. He was a big guy, and he wanted to make absolutely sure she didn’t get hurt.
“Yeah. It’ll feel more authentic that way, with the camera capturing my reaction in real time. And I’ve seen you do plenty of fight scenes,” she added with the hint of a smile. “You’ll nail it, no problem.”
Well, he’d do his best. But he’d have felt a lot better if he could rehearse the scene with her at least a couple times before they shot it. The changes Ian and Alice had made were a lot more intense and violent than the original. Was that the issue for her? And shouldn’t they at least come up with a plan together?
“Okay,” he relented, still not liking it. “We’ll make it look good for the camera, but I swear I won’t hurt you.”
She looked up at him, and something unguarded and vulnerable flashed across her face for an instant. That tiny glimpse behind the reserved mask she’d put on convinced him he’d been right, that something about this was upsetting her. It made him want to hug her.
“I know,” she said with a little smile that was almost sad. “And since this reshoot has to be done, there’s no one else I trust to act that scene out with more than you.”
The urge to protect her intensified. To pull her close and hold her, soothe whatever worries were going on behind that calm mask. “Thanks.”
She tugged the halves of her light cardigan tighter around her. “See you on set,” she murmured before walking out.
He followed her into the hallway but made himself hang back a little, overriding all his instincts that demanded he stay close to her. No longer hungry, he headed for the makeup trailer instead, vowing to watch over her until this was over.
****
Alice poked her head into the makeup trailer where Becca was getting the final touches on her hair and gave her an encouraging smile. “Ready? We’re all set out there.”
She was as ready as she was going to get. “Be there in a minute.”
She’d been dreading this moment since the meeting three days ago, mentally preparing for it and doing everything in her power to make sure she held it together emotionally throughout. The whole reason she hadn’t wanted to rehearse it or discuss it with Chase was because she hadn’t been willing to risk triggering herself, which she was very afraid would happen once they started shooting.
The fewer times she had to do this, the better.
Thankfully, she’d had lots going on to keep her busy. Things had been hectic on set wrapping up other reshoots, and she had purposely kept herself occupied in between everything else with extra workouts with her trainer, reading, and otherwise keeping her mind distracted from what was coming up.
It had worked, mostly, at least during the day. By the time she got home each night she’d been so exhausted she’d fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, giving her a minimal amount of time to think about the scene with Chase and get more worked up about it.
But then the nightmares had hit. Cruel and dark, waking her in a cold sweat with her stomach churning and her heart thudding in her ears.
“Okay, you’re done. Go get ‘em,” the makeup artist said with a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
Becca slid off the chair, took a final sip of water to ease the sudden dryness in her mouth, and stepped out into the bright morning sunlight. She squinted against it and crossed the already hot pavement to the sound stage.
A security guard at the door opened it for her and she walked inside, blinking to help her eyes adjust more quickly to the comparative darkness. Everyone was already in place, the lighting dim throughout the “warehouse.” She spotted Ian and Alice over by the main monitor with the primary film crew.
Her gaze cut past them, going straight to Chase. He stood with his back to her while someone touched up his makeup. She took a slow, deep breath, mentally measuring the width of his broad shoulders and the powerful muscles outlined beneath his shirt.
She glanced away, putting on her game face. She could do this. It was just acting. Just pretend, no matter how real it felt in the moment. All she had to do was slip into her character’s skin as she had a thousand times before, and get through it.
In as few takes as possible, locking her personal feelings and reactions down deep.
People watched her as she walked through the dimness toward the main camera crew. Chase turned, and the grin he gave her was so warm and genuine it made her chest hitch.
She didn’t deserve that smile after the way she’d acted the past few days. She’d avoided him whenever possible since the meeting, because she was a coward and hadn’t wanted to face him again until now.
She smiled back, but it felt a bit stiff. Her stomach was so tight it burned, her heart already beating too fast.
She took another slow breath, drew her professional demeanor around her like a cloak, and stepped into the patch of dim light they would be acting in. “Hi.”
“Hi.” His warm hazel gaze searched hers. He was so big. So intensely, deliciously masculine. Her entire body hummed with awareness. “You sure you want to do this without any rehearsal at all?”
“Yes.” She wanted to do it for the first time with the cameras rolling to get her honest reaction and get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible so they could wrap this up and she could decompress. She was going to need that tonight. “Ready?”
“Yeah.”
Up on his chair, Ian ran through the scene once more with some specific directions, then sent them both to their starting positions. Becca used the few minutes while the crew made last minute adjustments to close her eyes and get in character, mentally stepping into her character’s head at this point in the scene. Thinking the things she would be thinking during the chase scene. Feeling what she would be feeling.
Fear. Dread. Helplessness.
Her heartrate jacked up higher, making her breathe faster. Her palms grew clammy.
“Becca, you ready?”
She nodded, opened her eyes, and fixed her gaze on the mark she needed to hit on her flight through the warehouse. Chase was nowhere in sight. Hiding somewhere out of view, ready to spring out of the darkness and pounce—
“All right. Take one. Cameras rolling. And…action.”
Becca took off across the set, the long length of the warehouse stretching out before her as her bare feet slapped against the cool floor. Her gasping breaths were harsh in her ears as she darted a panicked look over her shoulder and continued running for the exit.
A startled cry tore from her when Chase’s huge shadow jumped out to block her path. She skidded to a top and instinctively spun to flee.
Strong hands suddenly grabbed her from behind, steely arms locking around her waist. Her ragged gasp rattled in her ears as he lifted her off her feet.
She screeched and bucked in his hold, trying to tear free, but he was too strong. An instant later he had her on her back on the floor.
Cold speared through her. “No!” she yelled, lashing out at his face with her fist. Chase caught it easily and pinned it over her head, his big body poised over her. Making her vividly aware of how helpless she was against him.
“Cut.”
Becca jolted, and they both stilled at the firm command from the edge of the set. Chase immediately released her and got up, reaching a hand down for her. She allowed him to help her up, her heart hammering, trying to get her adrenaline under control.
Whoa, that had been intense, and it was only the first bit of the sequence.
She waited while the crew reset, keeping to herself and avoiding Chase at all cost.
“Again, from the top. Becca, more emotion. Chase, pin her face down when you catch her the first time,” Ian’s voice said from the darkness.
“Got it,” Chase responded, and walked off into the shadows.
More emotion? Maybe she was so good at hiding things, so good at protecting herself from this pain that it somehow hadn’t shown on her face.
Becca paused to straighten her clothes and hair, then made her way back to the starting point. Someone came to tweak her hair and makeup quickly and she used the extra time to settle herself, pushing back the dread beating at her. Then they started the scene again.
“And…action.”
Even though she was ready for Chase to pop out of nowhere this time, he came out at a different spot, startling her and making her initial reaction that much more real. As she cried out and whirled to flee, he grabbed her and flipped her over onto her stomach on the hard floor, pinning her flailing hands above her head.
The position woke something dark inside her but this time there was no cut order. Locking the door in her mind shut, she went with it, using the all too real horror and dread inside her to fight back. She twisted to the side, bared her teeth and drove the heel of her hand at his face.
Chase ducked just in time, her wrist brushing his jaw, but it would look real enough on camera. A heartbeat later he eased his grip just enough for her to wriggle free.
She sprang to her feet and ran. Only made it a few strides before he was on her again.
He caught her arm in an implacable grip. Whipped her around to face him. She yanked backward to free herself, screaming with rage.
Her arm slipped free of his grasp. She stumbled backward a step, spun back around to run and he pounced again, taking her back down to the floor.
His scent penetrated her awareness for an instant, grounding her, but a heartbeat later his weight came down on top of her. Trapping her beneath him. And then his hands went to her throat, blurring the line between the present and the past.
Panic engulfed her, the padlock on the door to the past in her mind shattering.
She seized his wrists, a choked sound coming from her, her mind catapulting her back in time.
Rick pinning her. The stinging scent of alcohol in her nostrils. His weight holding her down.
Rick’s hands around her throat. Squeezing.
Terror flooded her body, panic exploding like a bomb inside her.
Becca bucked and twisted, no longer acting as she flipped into self-preservation mode. There was nothing but fear and instinct. The desperate need to escape as she clawed and fought to free herself.
The grip on her throat eased. She threw a desperate punch, catching him across the jaw with her fist. His soft grunt reached her as she managed to shove him hard enough to wriggle out from underneath him and get to her hands and knees.
“Cut.”
She stopped in the act of getting to her feet and stayed on all fours, her muscles trembling as the tidal wave of fear slowly receded. Shit.
She’d been wrong. This wasn’t acting. For her this was real. She was reenacting the trauma she’d been trying to escape since she was thirteen.
“Hey.” Chase crouched beside her, his voice low as he placed a hand on the middle of her back. She flinched. “You okay?”
She gritted her teeth and nodded, climbing to her feet, then brushed past him to head back to the starting point.
“You want to take a break?”
“No.” Her cheeks flamed, her throat tightening in a mix of humiliation and something like grief. “Sorry,” she whispered to him on her way by, hoping she hadn’t hurt him.
The panic had been so real she’d forgotten to pull her punches. Her knuckles stung from impacting his jaw.
But she couldn’t stop to check that he was okay. She was barely holding on as it was. She used the time the crew needed to reset to get herself back under control before they did this again. And now she was dreading the next take with every cell in her body.
This time it took longer to compose herself. Once she was steadier and the makeup department had touched her up, she resumed her stance on her mark and waited for Ian’s command to begin again.
Only a few more. You got this.
“And…action.”
They replayed the entire sequence again. Chase caught her. Pinned her face down before flipping her over.
The moment his hands went to her throat, it shot her right back into hell. Even though he wasn’t squeezing. Even though he wasn’t causing her pain. The position, the memories it evoked, was too much.
She fought back the blade-sharp edge of the panic off, fought to stay in the present and not let the past engulf her. And then finally he released her, and she was on her feet, racing for the exit.
“Cut. Let’s do it again from the top,” Ian directed, his voice curt. “Becca, we need more emotion from you.”
Breathing hard, she stopped outside the pool of dim light that ended just behind her and paused to collect herself again. Dammit.
Her throat was tight, the backs of her eyes prickling ominously with the threat of tears. God, how many more times was she going to have to do this?
Come on, Becca. Get a grip. You can do better than this.
A new tendril of fear snaked through her. Her control was slipping. If it broke altogether, she didn’t want anyone to see her fall apart. Couldn’t bear the shame and humiliation of everyone here seeing her having a breakdown, and then all the concern and questions that would come after.
Once more. You can do it once more.
She gave Chase a wide berth on the way back to the starting point, not trusting herself to look at him. The makeup artist came to do more touchups and smooth her hair and wardrobe. Becca stood silently while the woman worked, gathering her resolve. The waiting made it so much worse, giving her nerves time to get all worked up again.
Stop. She was the star in this movie. They had cast her and were paying her big bucks because she was one of the best. They expected her to give it her all. She owed them that. Owed her fans that, no matter how much it cost her personally.
Except to do that she would have to drop her mental and emotional shields completely. Allow herself to be sucked back in time, to that moment where she’d been more frightened and vulnerable than in her entire life.
And stay there until they had the shots they needed.
She drew a deep, slow breath and stared into the dimness before her. Time to let the ghosts have her. Just for a little while. Maybe then Ian would get what he needed, and this would be over. Maybe…
“Ready?” he called to her.
She nodded once and tensed, waiting.
“Okay. And…action.”
Becca ran like her life depended on it. The menacing shadow jumped out and caught her. Tumbled her to the ground, facedown. Then flipped her over.
Staring up into his shadowy face inches above hers, Becca threw open the locked door in her mind.
Terror swamped her, and this time there was no controlling the rush of tears. They streamed down her cheeks as she struggled to get free, her screams and choked sobs blending with the roar of blood in her ears.
Rick’s voice spoke in her mind. A low, menacing snarl.
Now you’re mine, little whore. Just like your mother.
Heart about to explode, she locked one hand around the powerful fingers wrapped around her throat. Flailed her free arm out to the side and above her head. Searching for the weapon.
Her fingertips brushed the end of the rod.
With a cry of anguish and rage, she grabbed it and swung it right at his head. The man above her jerked and slumped on top of her. Another rush of panic threatened to smother her.
Get off me, get off me!
Becca let out another sob and shoved his heavy weight off her, rolling to her side to gain her feet, and began a stumbling run for the exit.
Get away. Have to get away…
She stopped when she reached the doorway, her fingers touching the cool metal. Heart rattling against her ribs and her breath sawing in and out, cold sweat on her back, hands and face.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Unable to take any more. Unable to face the thought of doing that again.
Please let it be over.
“Cut. Great job, guys,” Ian called out.
Applause and enthusiastic whistles erupted behind her. Becca exhaled in a shaky rush and let her chin drop to her chest, her shoulders still jerking with residual sobs, exhaustion weighing down her limbs.
She tensed when hushed footfalls came up behind her. A moment later, Chase’s scent reached her. “Becca?”
She flinched when he set a hand on her shoulder, hurriedly wiping at her face.
“Hey.” He turned her toward him and pulled her to his broad, hard chest.
She shuddered and resisted initially, but when he made a quiet sound and gathered her closer, she stopped fighting, dropped her cheek to his chest and leaned into him.
“You’re okay,” he whispered, holding her tight.
Not even close. But oh, God, he felt so good, and his tender concern was a balm on the raw, searing wound in her soul. Safe. She felt so safe in his embrace, but it was just an illusion.
His heavy arms shifted, and he ran a big palm up and down her back. She sniffled and kept her eyes closed, wishing this would all be over.
Chase twisted slightly away from her and called out. “Ian? We good? Or do we need to go again?”
Oh, God, she couldn’t do that again. There was nothing left but the heavy numbness creeping through her.
“We’re good. That was perfect.”
She slumped against Chase in relief and let out a shuddering sigh. “You were awesome,” he murmured, the hint of a smile in his voice. “How’s your hand?”
“Little sore,” she managed in a tight whisper, then lifted her head to look up at him. Her eyes felt swollen, her throat raw. But the ache in the center of her chest hurt the worst. “Did I hurt you?”
“With the prop rod? Nah. But you packed one hell of a punch a few takes back.”
Before she could apologize, he released her and stepped away. She bit back the automatic protest that burst onto her tongue, stopped herself from reaching for him.
He wasn’t her safety net. It wasn’t his job to heal her and put the jagged pieces of her soul back together.
“That’s a wrap, everybody,” Ian announced.
More cheers and whistles, but Becca didn’t feel like celebrating. There was only relief, and a deep, aching sadness she didn’t know what to do with.
I gotta get out of here. “Excuse me,” she mumbled to Chase, then turned and shoved the release bar on the door.
Brilliant sunlight blinded her for a second. She put a hand up to shield her swollen, sensitive eyes, squinting as she hurried past all the trailers toward the parking lot where she’d left her car, intent on escape. From this place and everyone in it.