Becca stepped from the garage into Chase’s kitchen, her entire body humming with awareness and need she was struggling to suppress. He was right behind her, setting his keys on the countertop. He’d been a perfect gentleman all night, hadn’t touched her except in a friendly way. Respecting her boundaries.
That made it even harder to keep her distance from him, but there were too many things going on that he didn’t know about. The blackmail and her past made it impossible to even hope for a relationship with him. She didn’t want her mess to wind up hurting him.
“Want anything to drink? Another glass of wine, maybe?” he asked.
“Just a water would be great.” The sense of safety he gave her was startling. She hadn’t realized just how much the break-in was still bothering her until now.
He pulled a bottle from the fridge, opened it and handed it to her, everything about him making her ache. The angles and planes of his face, those gorgeous hazel eyes, and the sculpted lines of his muscular chest and shoulders. “Make yourself at home.”
She wandered through the tidy kitchen, pausing to look through the French door leading out into the backyard. Beyond the tidy green lawn lay a wooden dock, with a boat moored to it. “Is that your boat?”
“Bowie’s. It’s his baby. You like being out on the water?”
“Not sure. Haven’t been out on it except for a few ferry rides.”
“What?” He sounded scandalized. “We gotta change that before you go. You can’t visit the Outer Banks and not get out on the water.”
She walked into the adjoining living room and stopped at the fireplace to look at the photos set out on the mantel. Chase, Bowie and Harper at various stages. Two people who must have been their parents were in one shot, but absent from the others. “Is this your mom and dad?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he answered, coming up behind her, making her skin tingle with invisible electricity.
Chase was so young in the photo with them. “How old were you here?”
“Eight. Mom died not long after that. Then Dad, when I was ten.”
Becca winced and turned to look at him. “That’s so awful, I’m sorry.”
He inclined his head. “It was pretty rough, not gonna lie. If it hadn’t been for Bowie…we would have lost everything. He gave up a football scholarship to stay home and work his ass off to make enough money to pay the bills, and parent us as best he could.”
Wow. “How old was he when this happened?”
“Seventeen. He gave up all his dreams to make sure Harp and I had a stable home here. Bowie wasn’t easy on us and it wasn’t always pleasant around here, especially as we got older, but man, I respect the hell out of him for what he did.”
“I’ll bet.”
He crossed the room and sank into the recliner in the corner to put his feet up, his long legs stretched out in front of him and those gorgeous hazel eyes on her.
Longing and arousal flared in her gut. He was so damn sexy it all but stole her breath. She deserved an award for not climbing onto his lap and kissing him with all the pent-up longing she’d been carrying around for the past month-and-a-half.
“What about your family?” he asked. “You haven’t said much about them. Just a bit about your mom.”
It wasn’t a pleasant story, but he’d been good to her even when she’d kept the truth from him and acted like a coward. She wanted to open up to him, at least tell him about part of her past. “It’s just my mom and me. I was born and raised in Toronto, but moved to Vancouver when I was thirteen.”
“So she’s in Myrtle Beach now, but what about your dad?”
She looked back at the framed family portrait, studying the faces. Chase had the most adorably rounded cheeks and big eyes. Bowie was already well into his teens, taller than both his parents, and his gray eyes somber. Harper was sandwiched between her brothers, grinning a gap-toothed smile, but it was the contentment in her gaze that struck Becca.
The sense of security Harper’s expression conveyed. That she was happy, safe, and surrounded by people who loved her unconditionally.
A twinge of sadness hit her. None of them could have known how completely and cruelly their lives were about to be altered forever.
It gave her pause and made her wonder. Was it better to have experienced that love and security and then lose it? Or was it best to never experience it at all?
She wasn’t sure which caused less damage to a child, but it underscored an important point. Chase and her had something else in common—childhood trauma and loss. “I don’t know who my dad is.”
“Oh.”
That was it. No stunned silence, no shocked exclamation or a barrage of questions. Just calm acceptance.
The invisible knots that had been tightening in her stomach eased. She turned to face him, trying to remember all the reasons why she shouldn’t go straddle his lap and wrap herself around him right now. That hard, powerful body under her while she kissed that sexy mouth, poised, ready to take over.
A shiver sped through her. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced out the window, trying to rein in that train of thought. “It’s gorgeous out. Can we go sit on the dock for a while?”
“Sure.”
He led her outside into the warm, balmy evening air. The cicadas were already singing, the deep blue western horizon across the water was edged with a thin line of orange as they walked to the end of the dock and sat on the deck chairs waiting there.
The water slid past with barely a ripple disturbing the surface, reflecting the stars winking to life overhead. She’d often thought about Chase’s home over the past few months, wondering what it was like. It suited him perfectly.
She settled back with her water bottle, pulled in a deep breath and sighed, letting the peace flow over her. “This is heaven back here.”
He shot her a sideways glanced and grinned. “Okay. I mean, it’s nice, but it’s not like what you must be used to in LA.”
He’d be surprised about that. “I’m serious. It’s private, gorgeous, and you just…belong here. I don’t feel that way about LA anymore.”
“This is home,” he said simply. “I miss it when I’m gone for long stretches. Well, mostly I miss my family. But I love my job and the traveling I get to do because of it. What do you mean you don’t feel that way anymore? I thought you loved LA.”
It felt comfortable to be alone with him like this. No pressure, no ulterior motives. He wasn’t trying to get her into bed, or angling for a favor or introduction to someone. He simply allowed her to be.
He would never know how great a gift that was for her.
“I used to. But since I became ‘famous,’” she said, using air quotes, “it’s different. And someone tried to break into my place the other night.”
His expression darkened. “Were you home?”
“Yes. The alarm scared the intruder off, and one of my neighbors ran over to check on me. The police couldn’t ID the suspect, and the whole incident made me feel…violated in a way.”
“I’m glad you’re okay. Is that why you came out to see your mom?”
“Partly.”
He nodded. “Are you getting a security upgrade?”
“Yes.” Not that she could afford it right now. Her agent was currently trying to find her a few smaller projects to work on before her next shoot, to generate some cash. “Anyway, can we talk about something else?”
He watched her for a moment, then relented and eased back in his chair. “Sure.”
They talked until the moon rose and the sky turned a deep, midnight blue, a cascade of stars winking down at them. So many compared to what the light and smog-polluted skies in LA allowed her to see.
They shared stories about the film industry. How she got started in TV. He laughed out loud when she told him a funny story about an audition gone wrong when she was first starting out, the sound so perfect that warmth pooled low in her belly.
He seemed so real. Was he just an illusion? Could he really be as genuine as he seemed?
It was hard for her to trust people. To let them in. She’d learned to protect herself that way a long time ago, and Hollywood had reinforced that lesson. She didn’t want to find out Chase had fooled her too.
She loved every second of this precious, stolen time with him and dreaded the thought of it coming to an end. But when she failed to smother a yawn convincingly, he sat up. “Come on, time to turn in before you fall asleep on me.”
She got up just as he reached her chair. Instead of pulling her close or leaning in for a kiss, he walked past her into the house.
She followed, surprised by the surge of disappointment, and berated herself. He’d made it clear he wasn’t going to make a move and after what she’d done, she couldn’t blame him. And it wasn’t fair to go down that road with him again anyway.
She’d seen the way he was with his family, with Ryder. He was loyal, caring, and everything she knew about him said he was into commitment. She couldn’t give him anything resembling a normal relationship. Better to leave it alone, no matter how much she wished it could be different.
Upstairs he got her clean towels and showed her to the guest room. It warmed her insides how he took care of her. He hid it well, but the look in his eyes told her he still wanted her.
Not that he said or did anything about it. Even though they were alone. Even though she’d walked out on him that night, and even though he could have made things awkward between them because of it. In fact, he was doing everything possible to make it the opposite of awkward.
Another wave of longing hit her, so strong it made her chest hurt. She was sick of not being able to have a normal life. Of the world seeing her as some kind of sex object. Of people assuming she was a stuck-up bitch just because she valued and guarded her privacy.
She wanted a man to accept her for who she was. She wanted to be loved for who she truly was, and couldn’t bear to be hurt or betrayed and have her heart broken by someone she trusted. Especially not Chase. She couldn’t handle that.
The urge to go to him intensified. But no. She wouldn’t risk hurting or confusing him any more than she already had.
So she laid in the double bed and curled up on her side, fighting the sting of tears. Chase was the only man she’d ever trusted. And she couldn’t afford to lose the only real friend she had.